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My mind is broken v_v



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Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:35 am
Maki-Chan says...



okay. I have tried so hard to think of an idea to continue this; however nothing comes. I do not know whether I want the footsteps to belong to a little girl, a teenaged boy with no eyes, a man with no face, or a dead girl v_v... I need your help!



Chapter 4

I must have sat behind the counter for hours just waiting; however Sera didn’t come back. After a while, I got up and looked around the shop. It was mostly dark, except for the stream of white light pouring through the doorway, along with a small cloud of mist. From what I could tell, this shop had been closed for a long time; its cabinets used for displaying inventory were completely empty. I trailed my pointer finger along the class lids of the cabinets; it was completely covered in dust.

“What did I tell you about touching my guns?” A man shouted.
I backed away from him unfortunately a wall prevented me from getting farther away. I wrapped my arms around my head. “I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to Steve.” I whimpered.
The tall broad man towered over me. I was nothing but a defenseless lamb ready to be slaughtered by a wolf. Steve grabbed my arm, and pulled me closer to him. His grip around my arm made me sniveled in fear. “Are you going to cry? You worthless bag of shit.” His face was close to mine.
I didn’t answer. “Do you want me to call Vincent on you?”
I gasped. “N-No.”
He smiled, and released my arm. “Vincent!” Steve called.
His voice made me shake. “Please! I-I’m sorry. I’ll never do it again!” I begged him.
I looked up at his grinning face, knowing my fate. Now I could hear it, the sound of a dog snarling.


I broke from my memory. Rubbing my head I felt something. It was the feeling of cold metal against my skin. Looking down, I saw what I had touched, a small pistol. I picked it up. Guns, I didn’t have much experience using them. However, I had once went camping with an old friend of mine and we had shot cans using a small handgun. Looking over, I noticed a door. Slowly I walked over to it, trying to stay quiet. “Please Open.” I hoped.
I turning the doorknob and smiled. The door wasn’t locked. As I pushed the door opened, I stopped. It had finally hit me, what was on the other side of this door? Would it be a terrifying beast from hell waiting to eat me alive? Or was it just nothing on the other side? I didn’t know what would be waiting for me, and that scared me more than anything else. The unknown. The idea of there being something I didn’t know about, something that I didn’t understand. It filled me with both fear and rage. I wanted to turn back, but the sounds of near by growling changed my mind. I rushed into the next room and slammed the door behind me. The sound of scratching against the door hit against me. “T-That was close.” I panted.
My knees began to shake, and I leaned against the door. Slowly, I allowed myself to slide down the door and sit against it. My legs ached in agonizing pain. It was hard for me to ignore it. I pulled up my pants legs, revealing my cloth-covered legs. The torn sheets that Sera had wrapped around my wounded legs were now red and moist with my own blood. “Why are my legs hurting more? I don’t understand. When I woke up I didn’t even feel anything, but now…” I paused.
The sound of footsteps made me silent. I found myself trembling with fear. Waiting quietly, I watched for anything that was coming.

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Tue Jan 13, 2009 4:13 am
Krupp says...



Well, it doesn't really do you much help if you ask us for ideas, because they wouldn't be yours; in the end, we're the ones writing the story then.

Really, just take some time off from the story and work on something else. New ideas will pop up eventually. Just don't panic and throw it all out the window, otherwise everything you have done so far is all for naught.
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Tue Jan 13, 2009 4:52 pm
Maki-Chan says...



ok. I suppose you are right. Thanks
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Wed Jan 14, 2009 1:10 am
ButterFlyInk says...



Most horror stories and movies nowadays have either creepy little girls or dead little girls.
Something orginal like the teenage boy with no eyes or man with no face is more terrifying to me then a little girl/dead girl because to me there is more terrifying reasons why the boy has no eyes or the man has no face then with a little girl/dead girl. sure i might ask why is a little girl is there or why is she dead, but i would ask more questions about the boy and the man.

But that is just my opinion and it is really up to you,
hope that helps a bit. ^_^

B.Ink

Keep writing.
["DD:why are you wearing 2 hats? GM: because i have 2 hats!" XD ]

"my mind isn't working properly..and so my fingers are following the trend." ~ Me
  








So verily with the hardship, there is a relief, verily with the hardship, there is a relief.
— Quran Ch 94:5-6