Young Writers Society

I've run into a problem. I have a set up that I'd love to work with, but it depends on the protagonist's intentions and past being hidden for most of the story.

This is a story meant for a video game, by the way. I'm not sure if that makes a difference, but I figured I'd make that clear.

Now, I figure this is a problem because I've heard before that having the protagonist know more than the player is "bad writing". But is it really?

...I have no witty followup to "but is it really," that's an actual question. Is it just plain bad writing, can it be done well, etc.

The protagonist knowing more than the reader/player isn't necessarily bad writing at all. It can most certainly be done well. The problem is that it's hard to do well without the reader feeling cheated. I know a published author who relies on information that the characters know but aren't revealing to build suspense, and the technique annoys me to no end. Because this author doesn't do it well, and because, well, I felt cheated and tricked.

With a video game, it's different slightly, because then the narrative is distanced a bit, and it doesn't feel like the narrator is deliberately holding things back from the reader--or worse, that the author is censoring the character's words and thoughts.

That last point is what you have to watch out for in the end. If the character wants to think something or reveal something, you can't fudge his or her words just so that the surprise is kept. That is how you cheat your audience. But, if the character is just generally secretive, and the way to reveal the information makes sense, and if the style supports it (i.e., distanced), then it tends to work out a lot better.

Thanks for your post, and the information. ^_^

I have a few things to add: one, the way that I sort of "hide" big plot points from the player is that the protagonist sort of tells (party members) what her intentions are, but she's intentionally misleading. For instance (this is a scenario made up right now) if the protagonist intended to assassinate a specific person, she'd call him by a made-up title such as, say, "The Hash-Slinging Slasher" rather than his real name, as his actual identity is a part of the plot I'd want to hide until later. I just want to know, in your opinion, if that's just a flat-out bad way to handle it or if you think I can make it work if I put effort into it.

Two, is heavily foreshadowing the protagonist's true intentions good or bad?

Three, I wanted to add that I'd kind of hint at the fact that the protagonist isn't being entirely truthful. But would it be a good idea to just dive right into this, and perhaps make it part of the story? To consistently recognize that the protagonist is secretive, even to her allies?

The last thing is, do you by chance know if there's any terminology for this type of story, or do you know any (good) novels that do this? I'd love to study it, or read some books that use it to get an idea of how to handle it. (Assuming I can just translate it into video game style narratives...)

Well hello, hello! The right girl might have just stumbled upon your question. I go to a university where we boast the prowess of our computer game design program and our gaming club so I’ve sort of been forced to learn a thing or two about video game design theory.

I’m using the game “Dark Souls” as an example actually. There is very little structured plot in the game, you die a lot and you rage quit often. But the game has a very deep myth structure as well as story line. It’s actually a game with an enormous complicated plot from the opening scene which you should definitely watch here on youtube until the most recent time you've thrown your controller on the floor and probably damaged it beyond repair.. But at the same time, a lot is kept secret from the player, all of the cards aren’t put on the table. You don’t really know who you actually are throughout the game outside of what you decide in the character creation pages. Not only that but throughout the game, you find that all of the chips are laid before you and you don’t know everything both about the world and yourself. Characters who would have seemed good can become suddenly bad. It’s a game where you never know if you know what’s really going on until the wolf has already found his way in with the sheep sort of speak.

In a story, it can be seen as unfair to the reader not to tell them everything about the character right off the bat (unless the character doesn’t know it himself.) But since this is a game we’re talking about, different rules apply. I think it was Bethesda games who commented on the fact that they wouldn’t have any voice actors for the main character for Skyrim because it would remove from the players experience. You want the player to feel closer to the character they’re playing and if you give them a voice (or in this case all of the answers) it can distract from how personal the game will feel, sort of destroying the illusion of the game you’ve created.

So yeah, I say it’s fine to leave some mystery out from the player. In fact, I’d encourage it.