Young Writers Society

How in the world do I describe my characters in an appealing manner to the reader? I can't seem to get it right. I don't want to describe everything in a single sentence but to space their features out with other details. Please Help!

Describe how they talk when they talk, describe how they walk when they walk, describe how they eat when they... you get the idea.

And it's all right to do a big paragraph about appearance if it's interesting and doesn't happen too often.

You're on the track for not wanting to describe them all in a single sentence. Characterization is an ongoing process. It starts before the novel begins and continues after the novel ends, even if the character dies (because how other characters remember him or her will contribute to that.)

I'm a huge fan of investing heavy attention to dialogue. The key thing here is not just getting what your character says, but how he or she says it. I don't mean to put 'he said loudly' or 'she whined softly' or any of that nonsense. What I mean is that the subtle differences between a character who asks, "May I have the salt?" and "Can I have the salt?" and "Pass the salt," add up to contribute to the image of the character.

Another way, similar to what Napier mentioned, is with your verbs. A character who sort of shuffles when he walks is a different person than the character who strides when he goes from one place to another. Choosing the most precise verb aids in characterization.

But, I have a hunch you're largely curious about the initial introduction of a character. Here, it's important to consider the point of view you're writing from and whether the POV knows the new character or not. This influences which details are natural. In an intimate 3rd person limited narration, after all, it doesn't make much sense for the viewpoint character to start describing exactly how his brother looks as if he's never met the guy. But, I digress.

What I like to do, beyond the dialogue and the verbs, is make sure that description details are mixed with action details, or that, at the very least, the description is doing double-duty.

I've read a lot of character description in my day that goes like this: "She had long blond hair and pale blue eyes. She was of a small build, with narrow hips. She wore a long purple gown. She was frowning." Okay, maybe not all of it is that bad, but even with professional authors, I've read paragraph chunks where the author more or less pauses the story, describes what someone looks like, and then unpauses the story.

I don't like that, so I don't advise it. To me, it's boring. And it interrupts flow. And it makes me conscious that someone is writing, which isn't a goal of most authors.

So what I do is something like this: "A young lady in a purple gown stood, arms crossed, in the corner of the room. Even from where he was sitting, Viewpoint Character could see she was frowning. He didn't remember her name, and couldn't really expect himself to, given the number of blondes his brother had introduced him to already, but this was his birthday party and he didn't want anyone unhappy at it. After briefly excusing himself from Not Really The Love Interest, who was still chattering on about her new kitten, Viewy got up and strode over.

When he got there, she fixed him with bloodshot blue eyes and a glare."

It's rough, but maybe illustrative enough? Blending detail with action. And as you go on, you can add more details. If the narrative's very intimate, you can use the details that the viewpoint character would notice (maybe he has a thing for dimples) and ignore things he wouldn't even notice (wedding rings). So in the end, you end up building *two* characters through the description of one.

Writers are ninjas, I tell you.

With regards to what Rach mentioned about the dialogue, this article goes a bit in-depth with explaining the difference between the many variations of how one asks for salt. There's even a second article on how to apply the observations of the first article to your writing.

She really needs to get around to writing the next part.

*hinthint*

In addition to Rache's points, I'd add that it's not necessary for us to know everything about a character's appearance. A rough idea, yes, but we don't need to know how tall they are, what kind of nose they have, what colour their eyelashes are. I'm thinking of Robin Hobb's Assassin and Tawny Man books. In the first book, we're introduced to the M/C, Fitz. Six books later and the end of the saga, we know he has dark hair and eyes, a scar and a scowl. We're given the basics, and that's enough, really.

Details about fingers and shoulders and eyelashes are cool, and there's nothing wrong with putting them in if they're done well, but we can enjoy a story just fine without knowing a character's shoe size.

Ohh, I like Twit's point a lot. Very important. Knowing what someone looks like down to the exact location of freckles is usually unnecessary. How much to include depends on the viewpoint and the style and the characters and the type of story. The Robin Hobb stories that Twit mentioned are in first person, and so obviously it doesn't make much sense for a first person narrator to be going on about what he or she looks like.

I don't know about you, but when I go about my day, I don't do it going, "I brushed my short brown hair out of my face" or "I looked at him with my green eyes" and I certainly don't narrate to myself about it either (My name is Rache, and I have short straight-wavy-curly-willful brown hair and green eyes. I'm tall and like to go places barefoot) . Which is why description in first person usually makes me giggle, because even when I look in the mirror, the details I'm focusing on are hardly the ones that usually make it into writing--hair color, eye color, height or lack thereof, general build--but things like whether my shirt is on backwards, or if I need to brush my hair into a look more socially accepted as "groomed." My point being that if you're writing in first person, it's probably best not to describe the MC in that way just out of realism.

We can also learn about a viewpoint character seeing another character here though too, whether the narration is in first or third. Because when I go about my day, I don't think I consciously take in details that I already know. When my friend walks into a room, I don't start thinking, 'Okay, this person looks like this." I might notice if she or he dyed her hair, or got a haircut, or if the clothing choice of the day is particularly noteworthy for one reason or another, but it's different from when I'm meeting someone new and I'm trying to get to know that person.

I'm trying to describe a ..... freindly but scary vampire.....HELP!!!!

misslady101

A vampire is usually thought to be scary- unless your a Twilight fan
If people know that he is a vampire you could have rumors about him and his bad behavior, attitude, or teeth!
If he is a smart vamp and blends in, then things get tricky. Most of the time people decide if someone is 'scary' by what they wear or their facial expression or

I would describe his facial features throughout the book and his daily wear in a paragraph. If he encounters someone write how he is nice to them (helps old lady get her things in her car, ect...) but don't make him the 'prince charming' for ever occasion- even vampire screw up at times.

A nice vampire is usually harder to pull off then a bad vampire because of their rapidly growing reputation.


Hope this help