Young Writers Society

so, someone critiqued that my characters sounded like 1950s dads....kid you not. now i'm wondering how exactly can i write a middle school character that sounds like a middle schooler?
note: i'm a high schooler who was exposed to more sophisticated arts so that might explain it.

What's the background of this character? You know, stuff like social status, country, culture they were raised in, etc. All the information about them.

All right, *lays out her two cents*

I honestly don't think there's a particular "way" for middle schoolers to speak. I feel as if you might have a problem distinguishing their dialogue if you want all of them to talk like that. Like outvaders above, I think you're going to have to consider what kinds of people they are.

I would also like to have some clarification about what sounding like a "middle schooler" means. My guess is that you want your characters to sound like people in the 21st century?

Perhaps it also includes the words they use? One time in a story I had a young girl use the word "beau" and then was suggested not to have her use it because the reviewer thought that it was a bit of an old-fashioned word in that time.

I hope I helped here.

Could you copy/paste a few examples?

Think back to middle school (unfortunately I was homeschooled so I can't do that part for you). Did you and your friends have inside jokes? Ways of saying certain things that embarrassed them or that they weren't allowed to talk about? (Also what age are middle schoolers? I have only a vague idea)

Think about their environment and build their culture based on it. Middle schoolers of course varie, but there are aspects groups have. Does one of them like to nickname the others? Etc.

example:

JOHN
At least you're not treating me like I'm sub human.

LIZZIE
Even after what happen? C'mon, Jo. I wouldn't treat ya like that.

BOY (O.S.)
Bummer! Never forget what you've done.

John ignores the commotion happening behind him.

JOHN
(to lizzie)
Oh really?

LIZZIE
Once a childhood friend.

Lifts for a fistbump

LIZZIE
Always a-

JOHN
No

John pushes her hand down

JOHN
No fistbumps. that was the old me.

another example:


JOHN
And that's how I got detention

John sits on a table with Wilbur and ANDRE, a kid about their age. Wilbur gorges on a sandwich.

WILBUR
(mouth full of food)
That's sucks big. How we suppose to hangout then?

JOHN
It's only for 2 hours she said. Nothing worry about.
(to himself)
Not that I would

Andre cleans the sandwich bits landing on his book.

ANDRE
You're not the only one, y'know.

Andre nods. Wilbur finishes his sandwich.

WILBUR
But why did she choose to punish you like that. It wasn't like the guy you've seen was real.

John takes a sip from his tea.

JOHN
But he was real. I saw him with my own eyes.

ANDRE
You sure about that?

JOHN
That guy was as real as the grass he stood on. Lizzie saw him too, even.

ANDRE
She could be staring at thin air for all I know.

JOHN
Then how about the dream?

My advice would be to go out and observe middle schoolers. How do they talk to each other? How do they talk to kids who are older? Younger? Adults? What are their attitudes towards those various age groups?

Take notes.

Memories are also a great source to draw upon, although they are a bit unreliable when it comes to things like diction when you were younger, but if you have journals or diaries available to you from back then, those are invaluable (if you can survive the mortification at your past self). Looking over the things you wrote at that age is also a valuable experience. Especially if you have things that were co-written with friends.

Younger siblings or family members are also great assets, should you possess them. Plus it's an excuse to tease them to study their flustered reactions. ;P

the sad thing is, i can't remember like at all, and i can't visit my old school because laws and stuff. and i went to a middle school where a lot of kids cursed, which was inappropriate for my pilot. and, watching high schoolers do it won't do it either unless i'm writer high school characters.

so i'm screwed.

If you feel you're better at writing older characters, or they come out as such once you do write them, have you considered simply making them older? I get it if you have a plot that really needs children protagonists, or specifically have a vision of your story where nothing else can work — just wondering. Sometimes the characters themselves will make their voices be heard, and sometimes our stories work out the best if we just follow their lead.

Now, if you're set on keeping your characters as young as you'd imagined, I have some resources that might help. One of my current MCs and POV characters is a child around that age too (although not in this world, so his circumstances are somewhat different), and my critique partners constantly call me out on my children characters sounding too old, so I'm doing some research as well :p

- http://www.corestandards.org/wp-content ... ndards.pdf - this are common core state standards for English Language Arts and Literacy in US. The whole document goes into detail on what's expected of students in each grade; of course, you might have someone who's ahead or behind of what's required of them by the curriculum, that's up to you to figure out.

- https://www.researchgate.net/post/What_ ... ult_speech - this person asked a more general question than yourself (they didn't specify the age group past "children"), but they still got many replies, and some of them refer to the age group you're asking about.

- http://linguistlist.org/ask-ling/lang-acq.cfm - this goes into the linguistic side of it all even more, explaining how kids develop speech and whatnot. It's more focused on younger kids, probably those just learning their way around language and speech, but it may still be useful to you.

- http://www.talkingpoint.org.uk/ages-and-stages/ - I should've probably linked this first, because it most likely answers your question the best, but then who knows if the other links would even get checked, so here I am burying it all the way down here In seriousness, though; a great resource for finding short guides on how children's communication works within different age groups

- https://www.speechandlanguagekids.com/m ... resources/ - this is also a very useful one, especially if you want to include characters who use alternative ways of communicating along with or instead of speech.

Personally, from the examples you've given, I don't get the 1950s Dad impression. Phrases like 'that was the old me,' and 'once a childhood friend' feel a little out of place because most middle schoolers don't have enough life experience to reflect in that way. Phrases like 'like when we were little kids,' or 'I'm way over that,' might be a bit more apt.

Also it might be worth looking at movies or books about middle-schoolers, since they'll most likely include the kind of dramatic representations that will be more familiar to readers, even if actual middle school kids don't talk like that.

Remember that it's useful to take opinions into account, but they are just opinions. It's a clue on how a particular person has received your work rather than a definite diagnosis of your writing.

I would also like to note that schools aren't the only place you can observe children. Public areas typically contain children during certain hours of the day, and if any parents give you strange looks/ask why you're watching their children so closely, you can always explain that you're writing a story with children characters and trying to portray them believably.

You'd be amazed how far the "I am a writer/artist/student observing for story/artwork/science project" explanation goes. ;P

You can... ask a middle schooler! :3
If you need help writing like a middle schooler, just ask me! If you're writing more like this, just send me the basis of what you're writing and I can help rephrase dialogue!

Thank you all, the support was great.