Young Writers Society

Pugna Pro Patria
Jessica Bruce

March 11, 1766 – Red Hill Plantation, Virginia – Fight for the Fatherland!

* * * *

My mentor sat, and my chair was pulled up beside him. The mahogany, circular table, in which was less than a few inches from his stomach, reflected the expression upon my mentor's face. His palms were clasped, as if he was praying to the Lord again, and while my dedication should remain to my studies, my curiosity reined over my position; an apprentice to His Most Esteemed and Esquire and one of Virginia's most respected individuals.

Raising his head and turning to the right in my direction, the solemn expression upon my mentor's face stared back at me. He pointed to the pages scattered in front of my chest, and then my pupils followed the change of course of his right index finger, and it pointed to two additional objects – a black book entitled Bible in gold lettering, and the other, another book that was supposedly my study guide.

I lowered my head sheepishly, and with effort to soothe myself for shaming my mentor, I slipped a finger under the fabric of my breeches and stroked the top of my right kneecap.

"Forgive me, I have let distractions grip my responsibilities," I mumbled to the wooden floor.

"It can not be emphasized too strongly that your explicit diversion will not earn a seat along side me in a courthouse," he said sharply, which only persuaded me further to divert my attention from directly exchanging eye contact. "Hand me the Bible, Matthew. I shall engage with the Lord's words, while you tidy, and straighten the papers upon my desk."

The Bible was less than three inches from my stomach, and its spine faced my study guide; the blue book, used strictly in teaching lawyers. I raised my head, frowning, and immediately gripped the Bible, without questioning. In my fore and middle finger, I leaned forward, and he snatched the object from me.

I watched him open the black book, flip through the pages, and continued tarnishing my spirit this evening. I listened obediently, and although some of the barefaced phrases he spoke of his apprentice, I sensed I was the scapegoat for a reason I could not fathom.

"Honestly!" he declared, speaking to the Bible, rather than offering the common curiosity of speaking directly to me. "Regardless the service spent under my watchful eye, the time involved has been less than satisfactory. I assumed a lad born into an affluent family, and one whose father manages their own counting house, would have the mannerisms of a Saint. But, oh no! His heir has the manners of a curious child, who in my humble opinion has barely learnt the feat of walking!"

I moaned, and in a silent solution from his attacks, I grabbed all the scattered pieces of paper, and shoved them under my open book. I hoped if my mentor saw I listened to his instructions, the insults would cease.

"Sir, what –"

"Oh," he interrupted by waving his hand without removing his fixed gaze upon the Bible. "Cease on the formalities, and you might as well call me by my name. You have been an apprentice in my home… how long now?" he asked, and finally displayed eye contact with me.

"Little over a year, Sa – I mean, about a year and a half, Mister Henry," I said, still frowning.

In response, I watched Mister Henry reach up, and grip his spectacles, resting on top of his head, and dropped them abruptly on the table. With the Bible in his lap, Mister Henry rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, and when he had finished, he retrieved the book, and dropped that as well onto the table.

"Well, go on, and proceed," he remarked, waving the back of his hand. I must say, tufts of hair on any man's knuckles are not appealing, especially four rows of black bushes that ought to be trimmed.

On the rare moments, I disobeyed a person I hold with admiration, and questioned my mentor instead of adhering to his request, who over the short span spent together, I considered Mister Henry a reliable friend.

I fiddled with the cravat around my neck, readjusting it, and then I tugged my silver waistcoat, in an effort to appear more presentable – a gentleman. "Before I continue, I do have a question, and please forgive my disobedience. I will read soon afterwards. You have my vow," I remarked firmly.

"And what in the Almighty's name is the question, Matthew Cuthbert?"

I swallowed nervously, for Mister Henry's demeanor this evening was unusual. Normally, he is firm and strict, but Mister Henry has always been diligent with his teaching practices, either by willingly following along with an index finger while I read aloud in my book or patiently explaining certain passages thoroughly in such a way that I understood - mostly anyway. My conscious mind comprehends that I am not the tidiest man, (and to be reminded by my mentor was uncalled for), to ever have graced God's Green Earth, but Mister Henry's attacks were a bit hurtful. Although I have kept my composure by not physically displaying emotions, I had to know the reasoning of blatant disregard in respect for another, especially a punctual and hardworking apprentice.

"Mister Cuthbert?" and I felt a hand jerk my shoulder blade.

I shook my head quickly and blinked. "Huh?" I asked confusedly.

I blinked again, and then I watched Mister Henry fold his hands neatly in his lap, crossing his left leg over the other, and gazed in my direction, tightlipped.

"The toll has chimed seven, and you have yet to keep to your vow. What is troubling you?"

My jaw dropped, and my eyelids instantly widened. How did he know I was feeling perturbed?

"Mister Henry, how is it you knew I am troubled?"

"That frown of yours has never exhausted itself, not since you graced your presence in my humble house several hours before. Now, is there an answer or not?"

"Yes, of course," I said hastily, trying to secure precious time. "My apologies, Mister Henry, Esquire, but I am in a rather dispirited position. May I be so blunt as to ask a personal question?"

"And I am not to receive an answer first?" Mister Henry remarked.

"The answer will come forth with my question," I retorted.

I listened to him sigh deeply, and mutter words under his breath, which to me, was perfectly acceptable. Whatever was mumbled by his lips probably was not too constructive.

"Well? What is the delay, Matthew? You may ask, and I trust that the question will not be intimate."

"Intimate? Certainly not, I assure you, Mister Patrick Henry," I started, and waited for the response.

Several seconds passed, and I boldly held eye contact.

I knew my behavior was becoming less than acceptable and for a merchant's son, I should not be so voiceful with my opinions but his strange conduct has distracted me from my studies. In a way, now that I ponder about it, my own demeanor has changed drastically serving under the wing of Mister Henry's arm. I used to be shy and awkward, and certainly not as outgoing. Instead, if I knew I was at fault, I cowered.

Mister Henry's missus has been nothing but supportive and encouraging in my favor, and the Henry children – their vibrant youth shows when they frolic, hoot and holler. The children's antics always put a smile on my face. In fact, once while the six of us, (including myself, which made it seven), were sitting at a long and rectangle table exchanging morning prayers with the Mighty Lord, the elder, Miss Martha, had tugged the sleeve of my shirt, forcing me to halt with my prayers. I glanced up, and she smiled, like the pretty young thing that Martha was, with her blond locks and rosy cheeks; Martha had received her Mother's looks, which was certain. The master and my teacher never looked up but continued muttering Psalms and his missus, Miss Sarah, never acknowledged one of their children had stopped an hour too soon but regardless, I sat back in my seat and returned Martha's enormous smile. I put a finger to my lips to caution her not to laugh and mouthed the words – Do not move, so sounds would not disturb the others. Instead, Martha ignored my gesture completely, and reached across the table, slipping her tiny hand in mine and a crumbled ball of parchment was left in my palm.

I closed my fist, and with concern, I glanced first at Mister Henry. His head was still hung low, muttering amongst himself. I remember exhaling with relief and then I observed Miss Sarah. Her head also hung low, with folded fists, like her husband and the other children mimicked their parents.

I remember smiling again, and opened the paper. There was an awful crinkling, and so that was enough of a sound to trigger distraction. Mister Henry instantly looked up and frowned. I coughed, and fidgeted uncomfortably in the chair. Through the corner of my right eye, Miss Sarah glared at me too. The rest of the children had started giggling, which only made the humiliation worsen, and I reacted by staring at the table blankly.

"Give it here, Matthew," I heard Mister Henry say sharply.

I responded by grabbing the piece of paper and handed it to Miss Sarah.

"Thank you, Matthew," she said politely. "Children!" and a crack of hands echoed throughout the room. The Henry children instantly shut their jaws, and I was grateful for the silence and voluntarily basked in it.

I watched Miss Sarah pass the paper over to her husband, and I momentarily glanced at Martha. She was still smiling, and it appeared it had broadened upon her face.

"Read it Papa!" Martha giggled.

"Shh… M' dear," he cooed to his daughter. "I am having a time deciphering a child's handwriting."

"I will tell you what it says!" Martha cried enthusiastically.

Mister Henry placed the paper in front of him, and folded his hands again upon the table.

"Enlighten us, M' dear, and explain the message," Mister Henry said, without a trace of an expression.

Miss Martha boldly stood up on her chair, and pointed directly at me, giggling. "Matthew came to live with us, and I am glad about it."

"Oh? And that is what you wrote?" he asked.

Martha nodded, and then sat.

I remember Mister Henry reaching across, and slipped his hand under his missus's and he graced me with a thoughtful smile. At once, my anxiety disappeared, and I smiled awkwardly towards Mister Henry.

"We are delighted to have you in our home, Matthew, even if it is temporary," Miss Sarah commented cheerfully.

"Yes, Matthew, at best, in the short months spent, you have proved to be an apprentice that any decent gentleman would willingly accept. And, I appreciate assisting my wife with the children, when I am elsewhere."
____


"In a short while, we will retire, Matthew. The hands are pointing to seven-thirty of the Clock. There will be no time for you to continue but lad, speak up! I am growing wearing, and thin of patience."

His voice snapped me out of the memory, and I nodded solemnly. "Yes, sir… I mean Mister Henry, I realize we are to retire at eight o' clock, and the question is, what is troubling you?"

I watched his eyes widen, and then he blinked as well. "You assume I am troubled?"

I nodded in response.

"What precisely had brought you to that conclusion?"

"You have done nothing but blatantly insult me, and I am not accustomed to it. Have I dishonored you? Have I done something that has not lived up to your expectations?"

A deep sigh escaped his lips, and I watched my mentor turn around and glance upwards at the clock. Another sigh came, and then he turned back around.

"Matthew, I apologize. Your parents entrusted me to care for you, and in truth your tactless conduct is one such trait I have grown to admire. When this eighteen year old lad entered my home, I admit, I had my doubts. Here was a well-dressed gentleman and his tentative son, whom barely spoke two words in the entire introductions. Yet now here you remain, and by all accounts, Matthew, heir to Jonathan Cuthbert, you are intelligent for nineteen. That is why I remain rigorous with your studies; I honestly sense potential."

The compliment only caused me to flush. "I promise I will finish this chapter tomorrow, Mister Henry. I will not disappoint my mentor," I remarked firmly. "But you have not answered my question. What exactly has bothered you? Maybe I can be of assistance."

"If you were just an apprentice, I would never reveal but you have proved to be more. Martha is rather attached to you, and so is the rest of my family, including myself," he coughed.

Whether the coughing was intentional in hiding Mister Henry's feelings or he really had to clear his throat, I was unsure, but I assumed he had flem caught his air pipe. He usually speaks his mind, and that is one characteristic I have admired about him. Mister Henry seems to be never afraid to express himself.

"The public degradation has caused me much grief. This confounded Stamp Act has forced me to reproach George the Third, and contemplate about his beliefs."

"Sir! That be treason! Careful or you will be sent to the pillory."

"And would you betray me, Matthew?" he asked seriously.

"No, but… You are my teacher, and I consider you as a friend but my parents, they taught me to respect His Majesty."

"Yes, but what is your personal belief?"

"I am unsure. I suppose I am neutral."

"Pugna pro Patria!" Mister Henry bellowed, and I jumped back in my seat in surprise.

"Neutral is not acceptable, Matthew! Either you are a God forsaken Tory or a Whig!"

"I… I…," I stuttered, unable to organize my thoughts. "What… what is the meaning?" I managed to say.

"It is Latin, and the translation – Fight for your Fatherland!" he boomed, and slammed a fist against the table.

"You will… will wake the missus and the others, sir," I stuttered.

"Never mind them," he growled. "If I have not taught you anything, remember this," he said, narrowing his left eye and shaking an index finger angrily at me, "Guard the public liberty, and protect it. Protect it Almighty God!"

"Yes, sir, I will," I agreed, in an effort to avoid further friction amongst each other.

"Good," he yawned, stretching his hands high above his head. "It is time for sleep. Do you require anything before you head to your quarters, Matthew?"

"No," I mumbled, and was relieved his tone lowered. "I apologize for upsetting you. It was how I was raised."

"And while your parent's intentions were less than worthy, you are not bound to their morals."

I had not thought of that. I was raised to be obedient and respectful of my elders, especially with the royal family, and so under my parent's roof I never had much of an opinionated mind. At least, not until my father dropped me off at the Henry estate.

At that thought, I produced a grin, and turned my head to the left in his direction. "Like Mister Patrick Henry, Esquire, my decision is this: I want to be a Whig," I said firmly, and then puffed out my chest, pleased by my choice.

A quiet chuckled escaped Mister Henry's lips and he reached forward, clutching my left shoulder. "That is the intelligence of Matthew Cuthbert I admire, and I foresee a lawyer within you yet. Keep to your studies and your work ethics will reward you eventually."

"Thank you," I said simply.

"You are quite welcome. Now," he yawned again, "It is time."

I nodded.

He removed his hand from my shoulder and pointed to the Bible. "I have another in my quarters. Take this with you, and may He visit you in your dreams."

"Thank you, Mister Henry. I will read some before I shut my eyelids."

Mister Henry responded by standing, leaving behind his spectacles, and trudged wearily away from me.

I stood, grabbed both books, my study guide and the Bible, and shoved them under my right armpit. Before I left, I pushed the two chairs neatly in front of the table, so Miss Sarah would not have another chore to attend too.

"Matthew, it is past the hour of eight o' clock," he called. "We will continue tomorrow at precisely six in the afternoon."

I whirled around, and noticed Mister Henry staring at me over his left shoulder. I obeyed and walked quickly to catch up with him. We walked side by side, and then made a right-hand turn which led to stairs. Mister Henry walked up first, yawning loudly, and I followed his slow pace all the way up.

In the hallway on the second floor, my friend rubbed the back of my shoulder, and displayed a thin smile. "May the Almighty protect and watch a member of my family."

Again, I flushed, and lowered my head sheepishly. Vibrations erupted, and I glanced upwards. To the left of me, Mister Henry walked slowly away in the direction of his room.

His remark caused me to smile ear to ear, and I turned to my right, heading for my own room, and one that I had all to myself.

This is very good. It was very interesting, and the tone of your writing and dialogue perfectly fit the time period--it was all very formal.

Perhaps the repition was on purpose, but throughout the story, especially in the first few paragraphs, you repeat, "My mentor," several times, when the reader can already assume who you are talking about. In my opinion, it detracts slightly from the quality of your work. That aside, I still really think this is great.

One grammar error I did catch: you say, "I asked confusingly." "Confusingly" should be "confusedly."

Overall, a great story, appropriate for the time period.

Hiya, Niamh!

Huh... You know, I never noticed the repetition of 'mentor' but now that I've reread it, I see what you mean. It'll give me something to work on.

And thank you for catching the grammar error.

As for the story, not bad for hardly researching? I'm just curious, but I'm really pleased you've enjoyed yourself thus far.

Maybe tomorrow I'll be ambitious and tackle both Bound for Glory, and finish this.

Thanks again.

It's definitely not bad for hardly researching. Usually, I stick to European history, but I liked this a lot. I'll be sure to finish reading the rest when you post it.

Preliminary Notes:

Stamp Act – (March 22, 1765)

*Thomas Hutchinson's home burned and sacked of all its contents on August 26th, 1765 (Boston, Massachusetts)

*Stamp Act required an official wax seal affixed to legal documents – changed a few pence to several pounds for this seal.[

*First measure that required colonists to pay money directly from their own pockets into the British treasury.

*August; Boston's stamp collector, Andrew Oliver was hanged and burned in effigy at Boston's Liberty Tree.

*Throughout the colonies, stamp-tax collectors resigned their posts and, in more cases fled for their lives.

*Repeal of Stamp Act on March 17th, 1766

*Sons of Liberty born (or Whigs, and in later years, Patriots or "rebels")

*Colonial punishment – stocks, pillories, whipping posts, bilboes, branding, dunking stools and tar and feathering

*Pugna pro Patria – Common militant motto; Revere's coat of arms (bookplate) displays it.

* * * *


The Stamp Act was one the most chaotic and vile points in Revolutionary America. Indeed, the colonies were a hotbed, and it was if a wildfire spread throughout the colonies, preying on energy, and feeding it.

In the previous year of 1764, Parliament issued its first tax upon the colonies. This tax was very similar to the Molasses's Act of '1733.' The purpose of it was to put heavy duty on sugar, molasses, and rum imported into the American colonies from non-British islands in the Caribbean. At the request of the British West Indies, who feared American trade would destroy the British sugar industry, the Molasses's Act was repealed due to colonial smuggling and Parliament's failure to enforce it. The Sugar Act replaced the Molasses's Act, or rather repealed it.

The Sugar Act was slightly different but fairly the same from its previous counterpart. Levied duties were placed on sugar, textiles, coffee, indigo, and French wines. While the tax itself was fairly small, what caused the spark of outrage among the Colonists, who were British stock, were being forced to pay a tax, without a say in how they were to manage their own legislature. Boycotts began and the first tax, (technically the second because of the Molasses's Act), would start a series of events; both triumphant for the colonies, and bitter truths. The sacrifices from our Founding Fathers, whom risked their lives, fortunes and freedoms, were certainly notable.

One example is John Adams, who was the foremost attorney from Boston. In 1770, Adams defended the British Captain Thomas Preston and his men of the 29th Regiment of Foot during the 'Boston Massacre' crisis. In the winter, a group of over a hundred swells just outside the Custom's House (Old State House).The group of colonists shout and shake their fists angrily at the 29th Regiment, and eventually they further taunt the soldiers by throwing ice and rocks. Men at the front of the mob closed in, and shout, "Fire, and be damned, we know you dare not!" Infantrymen responded to the threats of the colonists by affixing their bayonets to the top of their muskets, and loaded them. The men at the front of the crowd pressed their chests against the gun barrels, bellowing the word, "Fire!"

In the confusion, Preston had ordered his troops, "Don't fire!" Private Hugh Montgomery may have only heard the last word but regardless, he raised his musket eye level and pulled the trigger.

The identities of the accused soldiers, in addition with Preston, were Corporal William Wemms, James Hartigan, William McCauley, Hugh White, Matthew Kilroy, William Warren, John Carrol and Hugh Montgomery.

"The law shall have its course. I will live and die by the law."

-Lieutenant-Governor Thomas Hutchinson (Old State House - 1770)

According to an article written by Steven C. O'Neill, of the Supreme Judicial Court Historical Society, Thomas Hutchinson, the acting governor, rushed from his North End home, past blood-stained snow, into the chambers of the Old State House. Civilian leaders of Boston pressured him to remove the soldiers from the city to prevent further violence. Hutchinson stepped onto a balcony to address the large crowd still in the street, and uttered, "The law shall have its course. I will live and die by the law."

The trial lasted five days, and on October 30th, 1770, Preston was found not guilty. A month later, the other eight soldiers were accused of murder and faced charges for the Massacre. The results of the trial were Kilroy and Montgomery were to be sent for execution on the date of December 14, 1770, but due to their request to escape the death penalty, they had to read, in an era when most were illiterate, the passage Psalm 51, verse 1. Kilroy, whom was illiterate, obtained the benefit because the reading policy was abolished in 1705. The outcome, Kilroy and Montgomery were branded on the right thumb with the letter, "M," which represented murder.

Psalm.51:1 "Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions."

"I have reason to remember that fatal Night. The Part I took in Defense of Captn. Preston and the Soldiers, procured me Anxiety, and Obloquy enough. It was, however, one of the most gallant, generous, manly, and disinterested Actions of my whole Life, and one of the best Pieces of Service I ever rendered my Country. Judgment of Death against those Soldiers would have been as foul a Stain upon this Country as the Execution of the Quakers or Witches, anciently. As the Evidence was, the Verdict of the Jury was exactly right."

-John Adams, Diary entry, March 5, 1773

Great Britain, and the people loyal to it, had equally suffered. Here is a tremendously proud and urbane country, and its people were behaving like petulant children. In the heart of the 1765 Stamp Act, two Bostonians felt the pinch, and acting governor, Hutchinson, whom was a historian as well as chief justice of the Superior Court; his mansion was twice sacked, and all his furniture and his valuable library containing priceless documents of American history was destroyed. Within the same month in August, Hutchinson's brother-in-law, Andrew Oliver, Boston's stamp collector, was hung in effigy from the large elm also known as the Liberty Tree.

In 1764 Hutchinson went to England, against his will, to protest against the sugar tax. Although, Thomas Hutchinson, who was deeply Loyalist, opposed the irksome taxes as unwise he felt strongly that Parliament had the legal right to impose whatever it desired upon the colonies as it pleased. Gradually he became an embittered reactionary. It was his sons who owned the tea that was dumped into Boston Harbor and from England by Franklin, Hutchinson's Loyalist letters made things more unpleasant for him. In 1774, Hutchinson left his beloved Massachusetts, always hoping and anticipating a return but never doing so; his property was confiscated, while he was in England.

In my humble opinion, Thomas Hutchinson's treatment by the Adamses, and more notably, Samuel Adams's personal vendetta with him; it was acute and in a great deal of respects, was unfortunate for the brilliant gentleman of the Eighteenth Century.

The Pillory - (Colonial Punishment)


The pillory was a device used in colonial America, and they stood in the main squares up and down the colonies. The board would be upright, hinged or divided in half and a hole in which the head was sent through, and the pillory usually had two openings for the hands. During these public demonstrations, often times the ears of the subject would be nailed to either side of the head hole. The pillory's purpose was to publicly humiliate its captive, and more often than not, physical abuse erupted from the public, in which the people actively, and almost seemingly enjoying; they partook in throwing jagged rocks and vegetables, to mention a few, at the prisoner, and on some instances the firing missiles resulted in death.

The Colonists would be pilloried for such crimes as treason, sedition, arson, blasphemy, witchcraft, perjury, wife beating, cheating, forgery, coin clipping, slandering, conjuring, fortune-telling, and drunkenness, to name a few.

Branding and maiming may shock us, but for our colonist ancestors, "the sight of a man lopped of his ears, or slit of his nostrils, or with a seared brand or great gash in his forehead or cheek could not affect the stout stomachs that cheerfully and eagerly gathered around the bloody whipping-post and the gallows."

-James A. Cox of Colonial Williamsburg and the quote was by Lawrence M. Friedman

Patrick Henry – (A brief biography)
(working on it)

Double post

The second part has proved to be just as great as the first. Although American history is not really my strong point (I prefer European) I loved this because Henry showed such a love of his country, and I think that is important.

The only thing I think you could improve:

"Pugna pro Patria!" Mister Henry bellowed, and I jumped back in my seat in surprise.

From this point on, Henry gets angry very quickly, but almost immediately settles down after Matthew decides to agree with him. I just think it was a little sudden, and if you could perhaps move the dialogue around a bit, so he gradually calms, then I think it would work better.

Overall, a very good piece of historical fiction, and fun for someone like me, who could stand to know more about American history. I love the title as well, and the meaning. Latin is fun. Cheers!

Awesome! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I'm having fun writing up my notes for those who want the gaps filled. And Latin is fun, provided you can translate it, lol.

And your tip makes a lot of sense. I overlooked it, so thank you!

He pointed to the pages scattered in front of my chest, and then my [b]pupils[b/] followed the change of course of his right index finger

I had to comment on this because it made me giggle. when I first read 'pupils' I thought student (because it coincided with the word mentor) then my head was like "What?" but I got it I thought that was funny.

I shall engage with the Lord's words, while you tidy, and straighten the papers upon my desk.

I'm unsure of how correct this is, but should heir be a comma after 'tidy'? I think the and takes care of the comma.

The Bible was less than three inches from my stomach, and its spine faced my study guide; the blue book, used strictly in teaching lawyers.

your punctuation here...confuses me. are the study guide and the blue book the same thing? I'm not sure you're using the semicolon right....the second phrase isn't a sentence. I'm not sure what you intend to say with this sentence, so I won't rewrite it, but I hope this helped.

I raised my head, frowning, and immediately gripped the Bible, without questioning. In my fore and middle finger, I leaned forward, and he snatched the object from me.

This confuses me. The second sentence doesn't...make sense. at least the 'In my for and middle finger' I think I understand what you mean, but its still a little bumpy.

the switch from "mentor" to "mister Henry" caught me by surprise. I understand it, I just wasn't expecting it. I don't know if it's just me though, IMO maybe you should shuffle it around at the beginning, too.

I asked confusedly.

should this be "I asked in confusion"? I think its an opinion either way but confusedly just...sounds strange to me.

Alright, I have to stop for now. I'm going to mark where I stopped in this thread for my own reference. I at least have to go do some of my homework...but I'll finish the rest ASAP!

Stopped at: "Mister Henry, how is it you knew I am troubled?

So far, I really like everything. I think the main plot went over my head. I'm sort of like Whats going on, what are they talking about? Long winded things sometimes do that to me. But I like it. you're good with characters and dialog, and I'm not sure what you could improve on yet

Shall we begin??????

Okay, here we go! The italicized stuff will be commenting on the quotes, and the regular typing is just random thoughts as I'm critiquing. Cool? Cool!

His palms were clasped, as if he was praying to the Lord again, and while my dedication should remain to my studies, my curiosity reined over my position

Okay, this sentence seemed a bit awkward to me. I think its more just my preference, but I would change the should, to should've, and change remain to remained. It seems like their is a tense problem between that first bit and then the curiosity part.

I'm loving how your writing reflects the time period...

I watched him open the black book, flip through the pages, and continued tarnishing my spirit this evening.

Fix this sentence...I would make it, I watched him open the black book, flip through the pages, and then continue tarnishing my spirit this evening. Make it continue and I would add a then.

Honestly!" he declared, speaking to the Bible, rather than offering the common curiosity of speaking directly to me.

I believe it is curtisy, rather than curiosity.

I must say, tufts of hair on any man's knuckles are not appealing, especially four rows of black bushes that ought to be trimmed.

I like this sentence a lot! haha

I swallowed nervously, for Mister Henry's demeanor this evening was unusual. Normally, he is firm and strict, but Mister Henry has always been diligent with his teaching practices, either by willingly following along with an index finger while I read aloud in my book or patiently explaining certain passages thoroughly in such a way that I understood - mostly anyway. My conscious mind comprehends that I am not the tidiest man, (and to be reminded by my mentor was uncalled for), to ever have graced God's Green Earth, but Mister Henry's attacks were a bit hurtful. Although I have kept my composure by not physically displaying emotions, I had to know the reasoning of blatant disregard in respect for another, especially a punctual and hardworking apprentice.

This paragraph is all wonderful, I love how it opens us into his mind of what he thinks of Mister Henry. Very very good!

I like your voice, it brings the characters to life!

"Mister Cuthbert?" and I felt a hand jerk my shoulder blade.

I would get rid of the and.

I shook my head quickly and blinked.

You already have an "I" sentence before and after this. (and then another one after the last "I" sentence) I don't like that, too many in a row for my taste. Fix it! Alternate how you start your sentences

"Mister Henry, how is it you knew I am troubled?"

Awkward phrasing here. Possibly make it...Mister Henry, how is it you knew I was troubled....or just do Mister Henry, how did you know I was troubled (but that doesn't fit into the time period as well I don't think.)

I actually take back what I said to you over chat. I like how you introduced him as Mister Patrick Henry. It was very well put forth.

I like your thought paragraphs where you go purely into Matthew's head for a couple of paragraphs.

Your dialogue is fantastic, I'm really getting hooked to the story.

but I assumed he had flem caught his air pipe.

I don't think I have to tell you what is wrong with this

"And while your parent's intentions were less than worthy, you are not bound to their morals."

I really like that sentence.

In the hallway on the second floor, my friend rubbed the back of my shoulder, and displayed a thin smile. "May the Almighty protect and watch a member of my family."

I like everything about this bit except for one tiny little thing! The 'My friend' part. You've been calling him your mentor and Mister Henry this whole time. Don't switch it to friend, you haven't given good enough of a reason to switch it to that, yet.

Wonderful story fishr! I really got into it as things started to progress. Keep up the great work! Hopefully my critique helps you, if some of it didn't make sense just ignore it. I tend to ramble occasionally

~Aero

Alright, I'm finally back for more...

I am growing wearing, and thin of patience."

Growing Wearing? or Growing Weary?

but I assumed he had flem caught his air pipe.

he had flem caught in his air pipe? PS: flem didn't come up in my spell checker...might want to take a look at that. is it Phlegm?

I stood, grabbed both books, my study guide and the Bible, and shoved them under my right armpit.

this is just a weird opinion of mine, but 'armpit' doesn't strike the best connotation with me, why not just 'arm'?

Well I finished it all! And I enjoyed it. I love you style and your ability to flesh out the characters. It flows very nicely.

I'm not sure what to 'critique' but I have one comment. I'm sure I would have understand the piece more if I knew more history I know the era of the stamp act, but not the difference between the two groups that were mentioned. Either way, I really enjoyed this!

Sweet guys! Your critiques were all very helpful, especially for zoning in on grammar, spelling and character development. It's vry hard editing your own work, at least for me because I can't catch mistakes as easily.

All your opinions were superb, and the majority of them I'll examine closely. I do also like that the different groups were brought up, and so, when I edit, I'll explain them more thoroughly as well!