Young Writers Society

I didn't dare look Ced in the eye as Mr. Ale frog-marched us to his office. He had to interrupt at just that time? I thought bitterly. Ced had come so close to groping me, and I would have happily let him had Ale not intervened.
"Sit," Ale ordered us, and we did as we were told, taking seats on the hardbacked hickory chairs before his mahogoney desk Ale flipped open a book to a seemingly random page and slid it towards us. I glanced at it, my eyes not even bothering to properly skim the text. "And this is?" I asked.
"This school's code of conduct and rules. Rule number 57, if you please." Ale replied.
Cedric bent over it and read aloud. "Rule number 57: this rule states that there is no allowed acts of homosexual affection in any way, shape or form."
I flared up instantly. "What do you mean, 'no acts of homosexual affection'?! Are you saying we can't be a couple just because we're gay?!"
"Precisely." Ale nodded. "We can't have people thinking our school is home to homosexuals. It's unsightly."
I growled and Ced shoved his hand into my pocket, sending a small shock jolting throughout my body. "We are not staying in the closet, Ale!" he shouted, and I was happy to see that was just as unhappy about this prejudiced injustice as I was.
"You will do so, or you will be expelled from my school!" Ale shouted back.
Sighing heavily with a mixture of anger and despite, I grabbed Ced's hand and kicked the office door open, slamming it behind us as we left.

Hi!

I gotta say, this is pretty amazing. Well done on the dialogue. Everything seems to be pretty perfect to me--however I think it would be much better if you described the relationship between Ced and the narrator a bit more--how much the narrator cares for Ced or vice versa, that way we can see and almost feel what the narrator is feeling.

Overall, everything is pretty good! Well done! Keep it up--It'd be nice if you continued it!

I really liked this. I understood it and everything. Although you did give the reader enough information to get across the main idea, understand the relationship between the guys and all, I would've liked a little bit more detail. What type of school were they in? It would be a lot more serious if the got expelled from a boarding school. Also they wouldn't be allowed to be together at all then because they would nearly always be on school premises.

I would've liked more detail on who Ale was. A teacher? Head teacher?

This was really good writing, but I would've liked it to be longer and more detailed.

Deanie x