Young Writers Society

Just an idea I had in class. Lol. Enjoy!


Bunnies are evil

Screams surrounded me as the army of bunnies charged toward us. Their razor sharp teeth flashed as they opened their mouths to bite chunks out of us. They're fluffy cotton ball tails turned into spikes that they used to impale us.
 They just kept coming, brown and white and gray. Soon they all became blood red. These were called the Ravaged Bunnies. We saw thousands of them kill our comrades, so I swore that I would slaughter every last demon bunny. So,  I tried to uphold my sworn duty.
 I cut down bunny after bunny until there was enough blood to drown new York city. But they just kept coming, thousands after thousands of blood red bunnies.
I fought my hardest, but it was no use. Bullets bounced harmlessly off of they're fur, and only swords could kill them. The only problem with that was that you had to get close to them, and they usually stayed in groups of seven or eight. So basically, close range was suicidal, but there was no other option.

This was how the Rabbit Wars began...

that's pretty funny. Whered you get the idea for it from?

Well, I was talking with my girlfriend, and she saw a bunny out the window and said how adorable they are, and I said they're evil because they help crazy people with mustaches. Lol

Well, I was talking with my girlfriend, and she saw a bunny out the window and said how adorable they are, and I said they're evil because they help crazy people with mustaches. Lol

No wonder my dog barks at them...
Neat-o little story. (No one says neat-o anymore, do they?) I liked it. I just saw a few grammatical errors I thought I'd correct.

so I swore that I would slaughter every last demon bunny. So, I tried to uphold my sworn duty.

This was a smigen repetitive. (No one says smigen either, right? Sigh.) I swore to uphold my sworn duty. I get why you used it, but it was just that smigenness (Okay, now that's not even a word.) of repetitivity (Nor is that.) that bugged me.

drown new York city

New is part of York's title, so it should be capitilized. So should City.

bounced harmlessly off of they're fur

Bullets bounced harmlessly off of they are fur? Common mistake, just change it to their and I'll be satisfied.

This was how the Rabbit Wars began

Ohh, scary music!
Like I said, I liked this, and I'm sorry if I seemed nit-picky on a story that's a lot of fun. My mom's an English teacher. Blame her.
Keep writing!

No wonder my dog barks at them...
Neat-o little story. (No one says neat-o anymore, do they?) I liked it. I just saw a few grammatical errors I thought I'd correct.

so I swore that I would slaughter every last demon bunny. So, I tried to uphold my sworn duty.

This was a smigen repetitive. (No one says smigen either, right? Sigh.) I swore to uphold my sworn duty. I get why you used it, but it was just that smigenness (Okay, now that's not even a word.) of repetitivity (Nor is that.) that bugged me.

drown new York city

New is part of York's title, so it should be capitilized. So should City.

bounced harmlessly off of they're fur

Bullets bounced harmlessly off of they are fur? Common mistake, just change it to their and I'll be satisfied.

This was how the Rabbit Wars began

Ohh, scary music!
Like I said, I liked this, and I'm sorry if I seemed nit-picky on a story that's a lot of fun. My mom's an English teacher. Blame her.
Keep writing!

Pretty funny. I had a thing against squirrels back in high school. Overall, short and interesting. I understand that this piece was just for fun so I will just point out one thing. In two places where you wanted to write "their" you wrote "they're" also there is no need to write "off of" just "off" is sufficient. These two sentences, "The only problem with that was that you had to get close to them, and they usually stayed in groups of seven or eight. So basically, close range was suicidal, but there was no other option." felt out of style with the rest of the story. Other than that it was definitely fun. Would be interesting to read a continuation if you ever decide on it.

Haha! Yeah, I think rabbits are evil, too, they just seem like serial killers, don't they? They're the last things you'd expect in a murder.
I find the logistics a bit off, though. Something that is small and traveling at high velocity will not penetrate the bunny fur, but a slow-moving long knife will? Explain. The swords would have to be extremely sharp, and stay that way the entire time. I think maybe a hammer would be better, if that would work.
So you have some grammatical mistakes and stuff, but I think the real issue you've got is this has no plot yet, which I think would be good, since bunnies really are evil. The word must be spread.

MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!!!!!!!
This was the first thing I thought of. (And if you haven't seen the movie, see it. You'll understand.)

DEATH TO ALL BUNNNIES!!!!!!!!!! I loved it it was really creative and funny!

I love it!!! It is so creative. There werr a few grammar mistakes as the people above me pointed out, but I enjoyed it! Bunnies turn EVIL! I hope to see more random stories from you!
Your new friend/follower,
Name

Hi,

Oh my. So, my war got to you? Mission successful. You are welcome. :]

Farewell,
A.

Hi,

Oh, by the way, my previous review was my way of saying you did a fantastic job! :] Few mistakes, but that's okay! Good job!

Farewell,
A.

Oh lord! this has permenently changed my views on bunnies. Haahaa dont know how I am gonna sleep at my cousins house when I know that those bunnies outside verywell might want to kill me haha.
Very... entertaining!

-jedi