Wow, really good! I really loved it! I think its really good the way you described everything in such detail. Well done! I would be one of the first to buy this book if it was on the shelfs.
The four elements of success: Talent, Skills, Try, and Luck. Talent you are born with; Skills you develop; Try is intestinal, fortitude or guts; Luck is spelled w.o.r.k. and is defined when preporation meets opportunity.
That was really good ,really descriptive and you did a good job describing the main-characters thoughts and feelings i reall like it and I hope to see more of you novel
Having friend is like peeing your pants, every one can see it but only you get the warm feeling it brings.
I must say that I really enjoyed reading this. The only thing that turned me off a bit was the description about his mother's death, but that's just my own tastes. (I was grossed out from The Illiad as well, so don't take it personally.) I really, really loved that last line. It left me with shivers. Excellent job, my friend! I hope to see more from you in the future.
(ps, I'm sorry if this review is lacking. It's been a rough day, and I'm not all here.)
This was enticing to read and it is definitely a great work in progress. First, I have to say that it felt like you focused on the blood for the whole seen, not that it's bad, but we don't know where he is in time, what the house looks like, smells like, other than blood which brings on more blood. Second, I thought this line was a little comical, not that I'm making fun of it, but the guy is getting strangled, yet he's trying to introduce himself and shake his attackers hand? It made me LOL.
His hand crawled up to shake mine weakly while his mouth hung open for breath and his face turned red as he suffocated.
I really did enjoy it! Keep writing because I can't wait to find out what happens next!
If you want to be a great writer, don't think about what you're going to write, just write it.
I'm a huge fan of writers block! When your brain halts, with no direction for where you should go, it gives you threads. All you have to do is pull and unravel the story you're meant to write.
Pulchritudinous, there is more description and I gave more details about the house and the smell and so on, but I wrote those details before he entered the living room and before this scene, so they aren't in this piece, but the few paragraphs before it. Haha. Butter, I think you misunderstood something. His friend wasn't shaking his hand... Hang on. I didn't write it the way I imagined it. You're right, it does seem as if his friend is shaking his hand, while he was actually trying to shake his arm and push his grip off of his neck. Wow. I didn't even notice I wrote it this way, thanks! Edit, edit! Thanks a lot guy, I'm glad you liked it. Actually, I'm thrilled that you did!
I'm back to my YWS after months of disappearance, hoping that I'd gain the immunity of books and quills against the harmful realism of our world.
In case this made no sense, I'm just saying that I'm happy I'm back!
Happy that you liked it, so very happy.
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Points: 1066
Reviews: 3