THIS HAS BEEN WRITTEN BY THEGILLIANGILL.
I POSTED THIS BEFORE SHE HAD AN ACCOUNT.
IF IT IS REPOSTED ON HER ACCOUNT, THEN PLEASE NOTE THERE IS NO COPYRIGHT
“Back from school already?” my mum questioned me with suspicion.
“I am always home this early,” I shouted back to my mum, muttering the words under my breath “but you are never there.”
“What was that” my mum screamed back, I didn’t dare reply, for I knew she was in one of these moods.
“No wonder you want to know,” I thought, secretly she was the reason why I had come home, but I daren’t tell her, for she would ramble on about who earns the money, cleans the house and looks after you little sister.
I didn’t want to cause her any problems though, she’s in a hyper mood, meaning she is just about to leave the house and pay a visit the pub, where all her drink buddies will be waiting, or it could be Bob, trying to win her over again that’s what always happens when she acts like this!
Bob’s my dad, but he’s never here, well, he’s always here, but not for me! He spends half his life trying to win back mum, and the other half with God knows who, and God knows where. That’s the kind of man he is!
To me Bob is Bob, I never referee to him as Dad, I try to keep our relationship formal, and that way I can’t get hurt, like before. He might find Mum easy to please, but to get passed me he’s got to have a lot more brains than that.
I wish that Bob would just leave our family alone, that way no one can get hurt. He and Mum have been in an on off relationship long before I was born, and each time, Mum gets hurt, but every time, she accepts his apology and winds him back in.
Mum thinks that he is nothing without him, and we are here to help him, but I know for a fact that’s untrue, I see him with all these ladies at night, drink in one hand, the lady in another, walking back to her place. To him we are just a back up when his life goes wrong, because he knows that Mum accepts him, he feels secure with us because, he knows Mum trusts him.
I try and try to pretend for Mum, and each time I fail, and every time she says to me “Why can’t you give your father a chance,” but she doesn’t understand, it’s not easy for me, I can’t just love him. I barely like him, even as a nobody, so I don’t know what she expects me to do but it won’t happen.
Bob doesn’t love me, even if he did he has a funny way of showing it, for he never tells me it, he never calls me his baby, or his honey or even my name. He just says “Oi, can you go and get your mum?”, or “Oi, is your Mum around?”. Every time I explain it to Mum, she always has an excuse like “ You are too young to understand what goes through his head Eve,” or “Give him a chance, at least he is speaking to you, it’s hard enough the way you treat him anyway”. I mean, why can’t she ask him to make an effort, “at least he speaks to you”, what kind of excuse do you think that is?
As I said before, she thinks that I am too young to understand everything, I am not a baby, like Louise, I do know what is going on, and it is affecting my childhood. She really doesn’t understand why I have to lie so much about my family, and why I always come home so early. She doesn’t know that my friends think I am eating at a restaurant with my Mum because I am so close to her, she doesn’t even realise how I wish that would happen, how I wish I could get the chance to just spend some time alone with her.
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