Young Writers Society

My opinion…
This was written beautifully and I liked how you described things. I think though that the first three pages you ramble on about the images and it was sort of hard for me to continue, especially with the length of this story. I suggest that you cut this into small parts and post the smaller parts on YWS.
I only did a detailed review to the first three pages so if you make this into smaller parts send me the links and I will review they individually ^_^
Oh and I really like the ending paragraph.
Another thing. I had a little bit of trouble telling what tenses you were using (like past tense or future tense).