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Young Writers Society


A Word Too Far



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Mon Oct 02, 2006 7:22 pm
Firestarter says...



Okay, here's the deal. I needed something to write, so I thought a stupid YWS fanfic would be in order. A quick summary: YWS is an underground, organised resistance group that use writing as a front to fight a police state (known only as "The Publishers") that has destroyed civil liberty. It has a military arm. Most people are included (that I know myself) but might not appear till later on.


A Word Too Far

1. All Quiet On The Writing Front

She looked at the note still clamped in her hand, given to her only a few hours before.

Codeword: Pat Buchanan

The paper was scrunched, and the ink had smudged so the words were barely readable, but the message was still strong. She had the codeword! Finally she could access the underground resistance. For months she'd searched and searched for any evidence of the shadowy, clandestine group that had thwarted the government for so long. All she had found was a possible locations; people had told her the sewers, the mountains, the forests. A week ago she had been ready to give up all hope.

Until a short, unexpected e-mail had landed in her spam folder, with no name attached. Usually she didn't look there, knowing that the filters were pretty good and only the usual crap went there. But there were 700 e-mails and she hadn't cleared them out. There was one that caught her attention as she moved the mouse to click on the "Delete All" button. In the subject title was her internet handle, "Claudette." No-one ever sent her e-mails with that name. The people who usually cared enough to e-mail her knew her real name. Against all her reservations, her interest won over and she clicked to load the e-mail up.

Nothing more than the usual spam.

Looking good is everyone's dream. Many people go as far as cosmetic surgery to get the body that they want because they think other than harsh dieting there is no other way. However I can tell you that that isn't the case. There is a simple but very effective way to get the body that you want. It's not a diet, its not cosmetic surgery and it's not a celebrity price either!

Until another few lines down. Her eyes caught something out of place.

What if you could have 20 years taken off? You would of course be shaking your head in disbelief, Claudette. You'd be saying, "How can something like this be real? How could they not know? How can this secret stay secret for so long?" Ring me on 0796758554 and you'll find out that it's all true, and they don't know anything about it.

Then if I told you that you can have all your energy levels restored you would again be shaking your head. Then, again, if I were to tell you that you could have full hair and wonderful looking skin you would just laugh in my face. Well, I can prove what I'm saying.


A spam e-mail had never mentioned her name before. The sentences after were strange too. The emphasis on "they" was apparent. And who gave phone numbers to ring these days? The government recorded phone calls and searched them for key words. Everyone used the internet, because the hackers could at least keep one step ahead of the latest government technology. She looked at one line in particular with scrutiny -- "you'll find out that it's all true, and they don't know anything about it." She got a sudden shiver up her back. E-mails were screened by the government, since almost ever server was owned by them now. That's why finding out anything about the resistance was pretty much impossible. What if someone was trying to contact her? What if that line wasn't talking about stupid cosmetic surgery, but hinting at something else much more sinister?

Excited, she flipped out her mobile and began to dial. Then she stopped, angry with herself. It's just another stupid spam e-mail trying to con you out of money! Attempting to forget about the whole thing, she yawned and went to bed. That night she didn't sleep. The words of the e-mail seemed to speak in her mind. She turned over and over but sleep didn't come. After going downstairs to get a drink of water, she saw the glow of her laptop and felt a sudden courage emerge within. Loading up her e-mails once more, she typed the number into her mobile and rang it. Even if it is 3 am, she thought.

The phone rang for about ten seconds, before it was answered. Before she could speak, a deep male voice commanded, "Meet me at the West Square today at noon."

"Wha - who are you?" she asked.

The person, whoever they were, hung up. All she could hear was the drawn-out beep. West Square at noon? Who was that? Why have they contacted me?

The only conclusion that she could come up with was the resistance. An unscheduled meet in a public area at the busiest time of the day? A short phone call unlikely to be recorded? A strange e-mail? Despite work that day, she made a resolution to meet the mysterious contact at noon in West Square who somehow knew her internet handle and wanted to meet her straight away.

Footsteps jerked her back to the present, the note still gripped in her hand. They echoed in the deserted, unused sewers, abandoned by the government after new technology had rendered them useless. She walked forward in the near-darkness with caution, her empty hand outstretched forward. You have the codeword. You'll be fine. She heard the footsteps again, closer this time. The thud against the dried-out sewer floor. She carried on forward, gulping and fighting back her fear. Her hands were shaking and all she could feel was the intense beating of her heart, the blood circulating, the adrenaline pumping.

There were no sounds of footsteps anymore. Just a constant dripping in front of her. Drip. Drip. Drip.

A hand gripped around her mouth. She collapsed.

***

"Lieutenant!" called Corporal Fishr.

She smashed open the door without knocking, a big grin forming on her young face. "We got one, sir."

Lieutenant Snoink was busy on her typewriter, the silence following Corporal Fishr statement defeated by the constant tapping of keys.

"Lieutenant?"

Snoink looked up. "Fishr, how many times will I have to ask you to call me by my code?"

"A few more times, sir," Fishr answered, blushing.

"And don't call me sir. It makes me feel old. You follow the rules by the book, though, don't you?" Snoink frowned. She had just figured out what to change in a particularly annoying sentence. "So where did you catch them?"

Fishr grinned again. "In the sewers."

Lieutenant Snoink nodded, getting up from her seat and walking out of her office into the main corridor, if it could be called a corridor at all, with broken stones and holes everywhere. Fishr followed her, both striding down toward the prison with pace in their steps. They made it to the far end of the corridor quickly, saluting the guards on the door. They walked through to see a young girl sitting down in her cell, head in her hands.

1st Sergeant Caligula was there. She smiled as she saw Snoink walk in. "We got her, Snoink, walking round the outer perimeter."

"Well done, Cal."

"First one in ages."

"I know."

Both of them shared a smile. It was a breakthrough.

1st Lieutenant Snoink walked over to the cell. The imprisoned girl looked up. There were tears in her eyes.

"I'm Snoink."

"Wha-what am I doing here? Why have you imprisoned me? Are you with th-them? The Publishers?"

Everyone in the room laughed. "Not quite. I'm head of a counter-intelligence unit called SPEW. We make it our job to ... question anybody who goes looking for the resistance. You were caught by one of our patrols on the north side, with the codeword in your hand. Now, considering that codeword is changed every week, and we don't let it out very often, we thought we'd lock you up instead of just killing you, like we usually do."

The girl gulped.

Snoink continued. "Now, as you know, access to the resistance isn't public. Otherwise editors would walk into our midst without trouble. Don't worry, some have tried." She patted the pistol at her hip lightly.

"B-but I'm not an editor, or a government agent, or anything like that! If I was, I could have released the password!"

"True," Snoink replied. "But how do we know you haven't anyway?"

The girl didn't reply.

They were interrupted as someone burst through the door.

"Private Xanthan reporting, sir," she said, wiping away a lock of hair from her sweating forehead. "I got the equipment."

Xanthan passed a long, thin metallic object, almost like a pen, to Snoink. Snoink pointed it toward the girl.

"What's that?" she stammered, with fearful eyes.

"Well, it should scan you to see if you're of good use to use or not."

"Does it hurt?" the girl asked.

"Not really. Just look into the light. Right at the light," Snoink replied, a blue light shining from the top of the object. "Actually, wait a minute ... Private, is this the scanning device or one of those memory-messer-uppers?"

Private Xanthan looked confused. "I don't really know, sir, I just grabbed the nearest object from the store cupboard."

"What were you doing in SPEW training?" Lieutenant Snoink asked.

"Err ... writing poetry, mostly."

"Oh yeah ... your poetry is great. I love your beautiful images!" Snoink said, smiling. She shook herself. "Wait a minute! Stop distracting me. Go get one of the scanners and put the standard issue neuralyzer back in the ... cupboard."

Private Xanthan ran out.

Corporal Fishr was looking strangely at Snoink. "Sir, did you ever flashy-thing me?"

"No."

"I'm not playing with you. Did you ever flashy-thing me?"

"No!"

Private Xanthan ran back in, this time with a metallic object identical to the neuralyzer, except it was black. "That's why I got confused, sir."

Snoink shrugged and grabbed the scanner off her. She pointed it at the girl and didn't even let her protest -- a red light emitted from the object, casting the imprisoned girl in a surreal red glow. A strange computer voice came from the object and the red light disappeared. "Results complete. Codename: Claudette. Capability potential: High. Chance of being a Government Agent: 0.5%."

It was Snoink that spoke first. "Well, that's sorted then. Even I got about 5% on the government agent test ..."

***

Captain Dono rushed into the office.

"Jacko! Did you hear?"

"About the girl? Yeah." Major Firestarter was sat at his desk, buried in a pile of paperwork. He leaned back in his seat as Captain Dono, commanding officer of Easy Company, drew up a seat across from him.

"And?" Dono asked.

"I'm putting her in Fox, Dono. They need her there. They took casualties on the last outsider and Crys basically begged me for her."

"We need people too, Jack."

"Everyone does," the Major replied, one of the few soldiers who had forsaken his codename in preference of his real name. Even the ranks called him by his first name. "The Editors have known our every move. Every time we go outside they know exactly where to hit us."

"We gotta stop trusting those literary agents, I'm telling ya. Give me a squad, we'll grab one of them at gunpoint, drag their ass back here and beat it out of them."

"That's not how we work, and you know it, Dono. We'd never get a meeting again." Firestarter sighed. It was a constant debate. Trust the literary agents, and sometimes get betrayed by a fake deal? Or don't trust them, and alienate any of them from the cause. "They're wanting more payment, you know. Since the last few times."

Dono nodded. In the last few meetings that the Editors had broken up, three literary agents had been murdered.

"I'll give you the next one that comes in, promise."

Dono got up and walked toward the door. At the last moment he turned, and said, "Who's got the next mission?"

"It's a toughie."

"Mine can handle it." A pause, then - "You seen Nate recently?"

"The Colonel? He's been away, communicating with other resistance groups."

Dono left. Major Firestarter stayed looking up for a few seconds, despite there being nothing there. He grimaced, and looked back at the paperwork he had to do. Adding new recruit Private Claudette to Fox Company. Captain Crysi had suggested adding her to Sergeant KayJuran's squad in Fire Support platoon, under 2nd Lieutenant Dusky. Firestarter signed it. Apparently she had already made an impression on some of the older guys in the company.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
  





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Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:06 pm
Ego says...



Ooooo...I'm an officer! Sweet! A fanfic by Jacko? This should be...hm...what's the word...AWESOME.

:D

I'll come back and read this more in depth when I'm not sitting in class with a stats teacher glaring at me.
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Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:57 pm
Caligula's Launderette says...



Hahahaha, ZOMG we rule! You just made my day, no my week.

:D

Heehee, Easy Company makes me think of Curahee.

I laughed really hard at the exchange between Xan and Snoink over pretty images.

So, yeah this is... erm AWESOME, and by awesome I mean the old version of awesome.

All she had found was a possible locations

- that should be had found possible locations

Until a short, unexpected e-mail had landed in her spam folder, with no name attached.

- I think the syntax is weird, perhaps: until, one day, a short, unexpected

CL
Fraser: Stop stealing the blanket.
[Diefenbaker whines]
Fraser: You're an Arctic Wolf, for God's sake.
(Due South)

Hatter: Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? (Alice)

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Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:52 pm
Firestarter says...



Oh yeah, I had to have an Easy Company XD

There's much more to come!
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
  





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Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:55 pm
Writersdomain says...



"We gotta stop trusting those literary agents, I'm telling ya. Give me a squad, we'll grab one of them at gunpoint, drag their ass back here and beat it out of them."


Hahaha!

I like it! Can't wait for more!
~ WD
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Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:28 pm
Poor Imp says...



SPEW has found a more edifying end in life than eating kittens. Ha - thanks to Jack. ^_^

'Love it. Poor Claudette is suddenly in the middle of everything though, isn't she? The difficulties of making an impression. :P
ex umbris et imaginibus in veritatem

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Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:31 pm
Firestarter says...



Well, I needed to pick one new person to fill the role and she seemed the most well-know newbie!
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
  





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Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:45 pm
Griffinkeeper says...



Cool!

I like this a lot. YWS Fanfiction forever!

Just a little error. .5% is 5/1000 , not 5%. A little more certain.
Last edited by Griffinkeeper on Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:46 pm
Firestarter says...



2. Where Authors Dare

He winced in pain. The bullet that had entered into his leg meant he couldn't crawl fast without effort. He was lying down, the wet grass brushing against his skin. Risking a glance behind him, he saw no movement. But he had fought enough to know they were simply waiting for him to stand up before opening fire. Trapped. He kept his head low, and surveyed the surroundings before him. Just two hundred yards in front of him, he knew, was the entrance to the sewers. In the same instant he knew he couldn't use it. They'd followed him the whole way, bullets zipping behind him and beside him. To simply lead them in the direction of the YWS headquarters would be devastating.

No. He couldn't use the entrance, yet he couldn't move. An old-fashioned stalemate. He couldn't radio in for support either, because he'd give away his position. The best thing to do was to stay low and stay still. Unfortunately, though, his time wasn't unlimited; as soon as the morning soon began to rise and dawn began anew, his position would be compromised and he would need some cover. He wished he could get to the entrance without them knowing it. It seemed an impossible task, but he knew no other way. If they did by any chance follow him, hopefully their arrogance would lead them into not contacting anyone else the location, and a YWS force could overwhelm and kill them.

He knew there were at least four. The four that ambushed us. Private Nai and Arvy were missing, presumed dead. Colonel Nate had been captured. He, Sergeant MetalHead, was the only known survivor of a hit-and-run attack that had caught them all by surprise. They had worked their way toward their destination as soon as nightfall fell, the small party the Colonel had selected as protection. Three tough, experienced soldiers that had fought as good as or better than anyone else. The Editors had known exactly where they would be. There was no other explanation for the high-precision ambush that had left them bewildered. They'd encountered constant fire from two directions, one a heavy machine-gun that had caught Nai in the shoulder, the other a party of several firing into them. One had entered his leg. The other had smashed through Arvy's spine. The Sergeant had retreated with the Colonel to a ditch beside a road, but they were completely and outnumbered, unable to match the enemy's stronger firepower.

MetalHead remembered pulling the Colonel from the ditch as a grenade exploded. Shrapnel had caught Nate in the leg and he'd collapsed. MetalHead had paused, and considered dragging him, but a repositioned machine gun had laid down ferocious fire toward him and he'd been forced to run. A run which had led him to here: cold, wounded, trapped, just two-hundred yards from his escape route which he couldn't use.

He felt a pain of regret for not saving Nate. He was their leader, the man who had started it all, the one who had stood up and refused to back down. Everyone loved him. And there he was, in the hands of the enemy. He realised if they were going to have any chance of saving him, it would have to be this night to stage a counter-attack. But he needed to get to the base first.

Something snapped to the right of him.

He immediately drew up his AK-47, but refrained from firing. He couldn't work out exactly where the movement occurred; besides, he might kill one, but the rest would kill him.

Rifle fire burst from somewhere, lighting up the darkness for a few brief seconds. Who the heck was that? They weren't firing at him. He decided to stay low, since it might be a trick to try and force him to stand and give away his position. Shots were heard again. And again. It was all happening to the right of him again. There were two different parties firing at one another, and Sergeant MetalHead saw his chance. With them pinned down, he began to crawl. The pain in his leg tried to prevent him from moving, but he pushed through it, grimacing all the time. He made slow progress, but he felt relief at finally being able to move. The firefight was still alive. It eased a little. Now it seemed like there was only one person firing, solitary rifle shots ringing out. He heard a cry, and the rustling of branches. Another shot. Then silence.

He still didn't know who was winning, so he kept crawling, the entrance hole only one-hundred and fifty yards away. Something told it was safe though, and he went up on one knee, his eyes keen and his trigger finger ready.

Then a call. "Pat!"

MetalHead grinned. "Buchanan!" he shouted back, suddenly recognising the caller was Nai, shot in the ambush. Did he just kill all of those Editors?

Sergeant MetalHead stood up, and hopped on the spot as the weight on his right leg was too painful. He managed to balance himself, barely, and saw a dark figure dart from the trees, across the road, and onto the field.

"Boy, am I glad to see you," MH said.

Nai smiled, his face dirty with soil and blood marks. "Right back at ya. Now let's get home, before some other son of a bitch decides to shoot at us."

***

Everyone was either shocked, angry or upset when MetalHead briefed the news to the nearest officer, Captain Dono. That didn't mean that every soldier nearby hadn't crowded round. Nate was the figurehead of the YWS. He was YWS. Without Colonel Nate, they were nothing.

Dono was all action. "Lieutenant Grif! I want every member of 1st Platoon of Easy right here, right now."

Frenzied calls echoed through the room. Before long, thirty or so soldiers had fallen in in front of Captain Dono.

"I need eight soldiers. We're going to get him back. We're going to have to move fast, and under heavy fire. I don't want any heroics. I'd ask for volunteers, but we're all volunteers anyway." He spoke confidently. He was in his element. "Lieutenant Grif, Sergeant Smaur and Bob, Corporal Sureal, Private DQ, Waffles and Fontroy, you're with me. Weapons and ammo only."

With the exception of Waffles, who carried the Bren gun, an old light machine gun; every other soldier carried small arms, mostly rifles, but with a few submachine-guns. They stocked up on grenades. Although tiredness could be seen on all their faces, they were lit up by a new determination. Saving Colonel Nate would be worth it, whatever casualties.

Captain Dono was grabbing extra ammo when Claudette stepped up next to him. "I want to volunteer, sir."

"You're the new one?"

"Yeah." She looked at him with hope in her eyes.

"You don't have any experience."

She took a nearby pistol, loaded and cocked it in one impressive move, shoving it into her holster. "I have some basic medical skills. I trained to be a doctor before dropping out."

Dono froze. "Fine, Private, fall in." Claudette grabbed some bandages and some morphine.

The nine of them exited the base, grim looks on all.

Ten minutes later and they had made it outside. They walked in a standard tactical column, with DQ as point and Sergeant Bob at the rear. The first signs of light could be seen on the horizon, red and orange glows dispersing the darkness. The squad kept close to cover and avoided too much open ground. It was possible the enemy had anticipated a quick counter-attack and had prepared an ambush. Claudette, positioned in the middle of the column, was taking deep breaths.

"You never been in combat?" Corporal Sureal asked, as he chewed some gum.

"No."

"Well, here at YWS we have an initiation ... custom," he said, in a serious tone.

"And what does that entail, Corporal?"

"We give you a chance to back out. This is the point of no return. You choose to stay on, you can fight with us. Otherwise, you go back to base and become a propaganda writer, or something like that." Sureal stopped for a moment, to check in the distance. "Basically, you got two choices."

Claudette nodded.

"You can take the red pill, or the blue pill." With that he burst out laughing.

Private Fontroy walked up to Sureal and punched him on the arm.

"You messing with the newbies again?"

"So what?" Sureal quipped back.

"That's against literary rule #6."

"What! That's only to do with writing."

Claudette left them to their arguing, and moved forward slightly, to see Sergeant Smaur and Lieutenant Grif having an intense debate about punctuation.

"Clearly, a healthy mix of semi-colons and commas is the best option," Smaur said.

"I find semi-colons to break the flow of the piece. More commas is always better."

"Excessive commas just make too many run-on sentences!"

"Nuh-uh!" said Grif.

"Yeah-uh!" replied Smaur.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Shut up, you too," said Captain Dono, breaking up the argument. "Everyone knows when Smaur talks about grammar, punctuation, writing in general, Canada or kitten cuisine, everyone else should listen."

Claudette backed away (slowly) and worked her way next to the machine-gunner, Waffles, as the column crossed a small road. They darted across and then passed through a crack in a stone wall.

"So you been at YWS long?" Claudette asked, hoping to talk to somebody normal.

"About a year."

"That's nice."

"Yeah."

"Mhm."

"Uh-huh."

DQ as point stopped and raised a clenched fist. Everyone dropped down to a crouched position. They were at the side of a field, covered on the left by a wall and a canvas of trees, while on their right they were totally open. Captain Dono worked his way slowly along to the front to talk to the Private. All Claudette could hear was hushed whispers. Captain Dono followed DQ's pointed arm away toward their right. Claudette looked to.

As they sat there, with the morning beckoning, light brightening the sky, there was a whistle and then a short explosion twenty yards in front of them, throwing dirt into the air.

"Get in cover!" screamed Dono, and the squad without reluctance threw themselves over the low wall beside them. Two more explosions rattled beside them, this time closer. A machine-gun opened up, the tracer evident still in the low light. The bullets smashed against the stone cover.

"Keep your heads down! Keep your heads down, goddamnit!" shouted Dono, pushing Fontroy's helmet towards the ground.

"What do we do, sir?" shouted Sergeant Bob.

"Wait till they reload!" he shouted, over the noise of the machine-gun fire. A few more mortar shots exploded by them, one just in front of the wall, tearing it apart. Waffles, exposed by the destruction, dived to his left.

The machine-gun suddenly went silent. "Grif, take half the squad and pull them back to that ditch," he commanded, pointing backward to the other side of the field, where the ground dipped beside the road. "Covering fire!"

Waffles set up his machine-gun with Fontroy and they opened up, the bullets tearing across the field toward where the enemy's machine-gun had pinned them down. Dono threw his submachine-gun and pulled the trigger, with Bob and Grif providing extra fire. Grif pulled back with Claudette, DQ, Sureal, Smaur toward the safer ground.

"Keep the machine-gun firing, you two! Give us about ten seconds to leave and then go yourselves!" Captain Dono ordered.

They dropped back, leaving the light machine-gun to pin down the enemy machine-gun, which had managed to open up again. They quickly met up with the rest of the squad at the ditch. They all watched as Waffles and Fontroy left the wall, and sprinted across the field. The squad was beckoning them, gesticulating for them to get back as quickly as possible. An explosion ripped in front of them, knocking both Privates off their feet. Dono jumped up and ran over. Waffles was back on his feet quickly, but Fontroy was down, blood seaping from his left arm.

"Help me get him back!" commanded Dono, and together they dragged the wounded soldier back to the ditch.

"Claudette! Get over here."

The new girl pushed through, saw the blood, and immediately got into action. "Put some pressure on his wound, Captain," she said, and Dono did what she ordered, gripping both his hands on the Private's arm. Fontroy groaned in pain. Claudette unwrapped a bandage, moved Dono's hand and tightened it up, and then gave him some morphine through the thigh.

"He's gotta get back to the base and be treated."

"Private!"

Fontroy sat up slightly, stretching his eyes open as if he'd just woken up. "Cap'n?"

"Can you make it back to base on your own?"

"Sure, sir," Fontroy replied, "I'll be okay."

The wounded soldier put his helmet back on, grabbed his rifle, and climbed out of the ditch with some help.

"You know, he once won the award of Member You'd Most Like To Shoot," Captain Dono murmured, with a smile.

"I swear I didn't fire that mortar, Captain," quirked Sureal, with a grin.

They retreated further back, and then aimed for their original destination: the co-ordinates given to them by Sergeant MetalHead; they looped round the enemy's position to avoid a further firefight, and walked a fast pace.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
  





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Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:55 pm
Poor Imp says...



One can't but admire the chapter titles.

"So what?" Sureal quipped back.


Quipped is rather redundant with 'back', isn't it?

"I swear I didn't fire that mortar, Captain," quirked Sureal, with a grin.


Ha, I can imagine Sureal 'quirking'. But one quirks a mouth, eyebrow...can you 'quirk' aloud? 0o''
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Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:18 am
Cassandra says...



So intense!

I like how you start every chapter (so far) with just a "he" or "she", so we don't know who it is at first. Very cool.

Mmm. I agree about the chapter titles, Imp. ^.^

More, Jack, more!!
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Tue Oct 03, 2006 1:28 am
Dargquon Ql'deleodna says...



Nice, funny and with action. Sweet job, with everything so far.
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Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:04 am
Jiggity says...



Lol, DQ's finally seeing some action. So, is YWS fanfiction what we all turn to now, when we need to break writing blocks? If thats the case, then I'm overdue. Seriously.

Good Work, fast paced and amusing.
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Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:35 am
Doctor Kitty says...



Sweet! I'm in this one!
And I have a machine gun!
And I didn't die!

Very nice. I've always liked your action stories. You describe things very well. (Action scenes are so hard for me to write.)

Claudette backed away (slowly) and worked her way next to the machine-gunner, Waffles, as the column crossed a small road. They darted across and then passed through a crack in a stone wall.

"So you been at YWS long?" Claudette asked, hoping to talk to somebody normal.

"About a year."

"That's nice."

"Yeah."

"Mhm."

"Uh-huh."

Heheh. Normal.
  





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Points: 6371
Reviews: 576
Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:27 am
Ego says...



Dno likes being a BAMF...lovin this Jacko!
Got YWS? I do.

Lumi: Don't you drag my donobby into this.
Lumi: He's the sweetest angel this side of hades.
  








*surprised scream* Aaaaah, NaNo!
— spottedpebble