I know you were afraid, because I was too, but I buried my feelings so I wouldn't scare you any more. I remember the way we huddled in that field, as far away from the trees as possible. I wanted to save you, to comfort you and tell you everything would be ok but I couldn't because I didn't believe the words myself.
I'm not sure how long we stayed on the ground, hidden amongst the tall corn crops but it seemed like forever. You were shaking so badly it was hard to hug you and keep you close. I knew that if you had the chance you would bolt and leave me so I used all my strength to hold you down. Every time you squealed my heart tore a little bit more and I had to keep reminding myself that it was for your own safety. If I let you go, I might never see you again.
A streak of lightning snaked down from the heavy clouds and your eyes were so wide I could see the whites. You licked my hands and whined, your legs still shaking and I ran my fingers through your long coat, trying to brush away the fear that had engulfed us both. My phone buzzed in my pocket: my father.
I ignored it and breathed a sigh of relief when the humming finally stopped. You looked at me with those eyes that had seen more than they should have and then rested your tired head on my knees. The lightning storm was almost over but the rains were just beginning.
It as was if the heavens just opened up and let all the tears I'd been holding back fall down to the dusty ground. I didn't have to be anyone in front of you. You knew the real me and I wasn't afraid to cry as the rain tumbled down around us. My hair was soon dripping wet and so was yours. The red earth clung to my wet clothes and skin but it didn't matter anymore. The thunder was nothing but a distant rumble now and so I twisted my hand in your long fur and lead you towards the edge of the fields. Every few metres, you looked up at me to make sure I was still there, still coping. I gave you what I hoped was a reassuring smile and thanked you over and over again for staying with me through the night.
My phone rang again. This time I didn't wait for it to ring off and I didn't hang up. I hurled the phone as far as I could, out into the corn crops. I didn't hear the thud as it landed and I was glad. I never wanted to speak to them again. Never. I had you and that was all that mattered.
The sky was a wash of pink, orange and lavender when I opened my eyes and it took me a little while to work out where I was. The memory of my father, his fists covered in my own blood made me remember and I shuddered involuntarily. That one movement of my body sent you into a panic and you leaped up, baring your teeth at nobody. I put my arm around your neck and pulled you down beside me. You tried to resist but then quietly curled yourself up into a ball and closed your eyes once more. I was ok, you were ok, things were going to be fine.
When I looked back over my shoulder at the farm house, I realised we had not been far away at all. Only the corn field separated us from that monster I had once called "dad" and the woman he had tried so hard to make me call "mom". If they had noticed you and I were missing, they could have found us easily. Too easily. I jumped to my feet immediately and started leading you away. Without your collar it was hard to guide you but after several minutes you followed along by yourself, faithful as always.
I knew we still had a little time before they figured out we were missing. I was usually thrown out of bed at six and judging by the position of the sun, it was only five thirty. You moved a little quicker than me and my legs ached from being curled up for so long but I managed to keep up. Barely.
The morning air was thick and wet after the storm last night and I was struggling to breathe by the time we came to the creek. It was dry with only a few dirty puddles here and there.
...continue later on, I am being temporarily kicked off the computer. Haha. Just let me know if you want more as I don't have time to write up the rest
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