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Young Writers Society


Dougs story



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Gender: Male
Points: 300
Reviews: 0
Wed Apr 08, 2009 10:06 am
koala says...



The wood was being painted by the hot warm sun which spread all across the golden corn fields. But something bad was brewing you could feel it in the air and you could see it in the bloody grass, There was the bleeding farmer lying on the grass with a carrot shoved deeply into his scrotum. He said to me "help me" i said "who did this" he replied with "It was Pedro the crack dealing rabbit". I said "why did he shove this carrot into your scrotum" then the farmer said " I owed him money, lots of it". I stood staring at the bleeding scrotum for masturbating purposes but suddenly a bullet hit the almost dead farmer sending his brains all over my freshly persil cleaned white shirt. I quickly turned around and i saw a red bandanna and a lot of white fluff then i noticed he had long white ears he came closer and he said "Yo blud what you doing on my yard fam" i said "well i was going for a walk and noticed a farmer had some how got a carrot shoved in his scrotum this bedallzed me". Then the rabbit said " You think your bad blud" i said " I think your mum is bad hahah" Then the rabbit picked up a dirty blade and shoved it in my eye"

The end.....for now
  





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9 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 9
Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:08 pm
Armagan says...



I want to review this, but i need to know something first, is this a piss take?
  





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36 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 36
Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:43 pm
deleted_5 says...



............

Okay bud, first of all, you need to have two reviews before you post a story. It's a 2:1 ratio. Second of all, you need to use proper grammar and spelling. No chat speak. You need to capitalize all of your I's also. Last, thing, you need to paragraph your dialogue. That way we will know who is speaking.
I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. I also hate being on television, I hate it as much as people hate chocolate. But they always want chocolate.
  








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