Young Writers Society

Tonight, I was going to my blind date. It's been a long time since I've been on a date, especially after the death of my husband Mike.

The image of him usually makes my stomach drop and then the memories of our teenage years come back. Our first kiss, our first date, our first child at just twenty one. Mike was my everything. His brown curly hair, wide and dazzling smile and his soft chocolate skin...

I shook off these thoughts as I got out of the shower and walked to my room to change into my dress. As I walked through the hallway, I could hear video games being played in my son's Taylor's room. Usually I would let this go because he would usually come home from a tiring day at school plus an evening of skating with his friends. Yet, tonight was Prom.

I never got to go to prom because I was considered that geeky girl meaning I had few to no friends and not a date in sight. Taylor's a pretty cool kid if I do say so myself but I guess he didn't get a date because he was never taught to. Mike died when Taylor was just nine.

I knocked on Taylor's door and then poked my head in. His room was dark and the only light was coming from the TV and from his phone.

"Hi Mom," he said. " Are you ready for your date?"

I kept looking around his room. "No, not yet."

"Don't keep that lucky guy waiting." He said this with a slight chuckle.

"Isn't today Prom?"

He scoffed and then kept playing. " That's not for me."

"Why not?"

"Because I would like to go with my friends but they're not into that crap and then again, I have no date."

We both remained silent for a while till he stopped his video game and looked at me.

"I'm a loser mom."

I started to walk towards him but then he got up and walked out of his room and went outside.

I got an idea

I went to my room and went to Mike's side of the closet, taking out his tuxedo. I took some of his cologne along with two corsages. Mike was actually going to ask me to Prom but both of us were shy around that time so I ended up going and he ended up going by himself.

I changed into my dress and went to call my blind date.

"Hello,"

"Hi, this is Jane," I said, a little nervously. "I'm calling to say that I can't go on a date with you tonight. It's an emergency."

"What kind of emergency?"

"I'm bringing my son to Prom." And I hung up.

I quickly ran outside with the tuxedo and corsages in hand. When I got in the car, Taylor looked at me as if I had five heads.

"Mom, what are you doing?"

"Change into this," I handed him the tuxedo. " We're going to prom."

"Mom, no offense but you're-"

"Oh Taylor, I'm only thirty nine. Now go in the back and change."

He shrugged his shoulders and went to the back of car to change. While I drove to the hotel, I started to feel a sort of
excitement. It wasn't the coolest thing to bring your mom to Prom but I didn't want him to miss the biggest highlight of his high school life.

We finally got to the hotel and I fixed his corsage.

"Okay, you ready?"

"Do I have a choice?" he asked and then he gave me his father's smile.

We walked in together with my arm in his.

"Hey, Taylor!" a group of girls called from their table.

We walked towards them.

"I never thought I would see you here," said a red head. "And you brought your mom?"

I could feel Taylor tighten up.

"That's so cute," they all squealed, and then one turned to me. "You have such a sweet son."

"I just had to find the most beautiful date of all." said Taylor and the girls squealed even more. Just like his father with that sweet guy personality.

We danced, took pictures with him and his friends and joked around. Then they were going to announce Prom King and Queen.

"Our Prom King is Kevin Furtado."

There was a round of applause. He used to be Taylor's playdate.

"And our Prom Queen is Taylor Phillip's mom."

I didn't know what came over me but I ended up screaming and running to the stage to get my crown. From the stage, I found Taylor clapping and from that moment, I saw Mike clapping. Then he cupped his hands around his mouth and mouthed, "I love you."

Then I smiled and mouthed "I love you too."

This is SO adorable! I am SO in love with Taylor. I want to take him to prom when I'm old enough. You have an amazing writing style, keep at it!

I like your writing style, keep it up!!!

Hello there! I'm Rose, and I'll be reviewing this piece today!

First off, I'd just like to say that I adore your concept for this piece. It's so cute! I love the relationship between Taylor and his mom. It's very refreshing to read something that's about love but not gushy love, just plain old family love. Which, I have to add, happens to be the best kind. It gets pushed aside so often because it's not the flashy kind that people think other people want to read about. I'm so glad that you wrote about this.

Pertaining to the structure of your piece, I'm definitely not as in love with it as I am with the concept. It felt choppy at certain parts. I have a good idea of how to smooth it out. It won't take long at all, and you actually won't have to change your writing much. It just involves punctuation. Let me show you.

The image of him usually makes my stomach drop and then the memories of our teenage years come back. Our first kiss, our first date, our first child at just twenty one. Mike was my everything. His brown curly hair, wide and dazzling smile and his soft chocolate skin...

This isn't bad. But I think that I can make it better.

The image of him usually makes my stomach drop; then, the memories of our teenage years come back. Our first kiss, our first date, our first child at just twenty one... Mike was my everything. My world was his brown curly hair, wide, dazzling smile and his soft chocolate skin.

I think that it's cleaner this way. I don't find myself getting jumbled in the sentences the way I did before. I would recommend looking back over this piece and taking five minutes to re-edit the punctuation.

The next thing and, really, the only other thing I find issue with in this piece is the opening.

Tonight, I was going to my blind date. It's been a long time since I've been on a date, especially after the death of my husband Mike.

While this would be acceptable if it were the beginning of the second or third chapter in a book, I don't feel it works here. I felt like I was being laden with the worst experiences of a character before I even got a chance to get to know her. If I walked up to a person in real life and the first thing they said to me was, "Hi! I'm Bob! Guess what? My wife just died.", I would be a little freaked out. Give me a few sentences to get a handle on who your character is before telling me things like this, and when you reveal them, be a little bit more sensitive about them. If your character were real, I'm sure she would be a little bit more sensitive about this topic and wouldn't bluntly say it.

All in all, I absolutely adore this piece! Always keep writing!

-Rose

Hello there! I'm Rose, and I'll be reviewing this piece today!

First off, I'd just like to say that I adore your concept for this piece. It's so cute! I love the relationship between Taylor and his mom. It's very refreshing to read something that's about love but not gushy love, just plain old family love. Which, I have to add, happens to be the best kind. It gets pushed aside so often because it's not the flashy kind that people think other people want to read about. I'm so glad that you wrote about this.

Pertaining to the structure of your piece, I'm definitely not as in love with it as I am with the concept. It felt choppy at certain parts. I have a good idea of how to smooth it out. It won't take long at all, and you actually won't have to change your writing much. It just involves punctuation. Let me show you.

The image of him usually makes my stomach drop and then the memories of our teenage years come back. Our first kiss, our first date, our first child at just twenty one. Mike was my everything. His brown curly hair, wide and dazzling smile and his soft chocolate skin...

This isn't bad. But I think that I can make it better.

The image of him usually makes my stomach drop; then, the memories of our teenage years come back. Our first kiss, our first date, our first child at just twenty one... Mike was my everything. My world was his brown curly hair, wide, dazzling smile and his soft chocolate skin.

I think that it's cleaner this way. I don't find myself getting jumbled in the sentences the way I did before. I would recommend looking back over this piece and taking five minutes to re-edit the punctuation.

The next thing and, really, the only other thing I find issue with in this piece is the opening.

Tonight, I was going to my blind date. It's been a long time since I've been on a date, especially after the death of my husband Mike.

While this would be acceptable if it were the beginning of the second or third chapter in a book, I don't feel it works here. I felt like I was being laden with the worst experiences of a character before I even got a chance to get to know her. If I walked up to a person in real life and the first thing they said to me was, "Hi! I'm Bob! Guess what? My wife just died.", I would be a little freaked out. Give me a few sentences to get a handle on who your character is before telling me things like this, and when you reveal them, be a little bit more sensitive about them. If your character were real, I'm sure she would be a little bit more sensitive about this topic and wouldn't bluntly say it.

All in all, I absolutely adore this piece! Always keep writing!

-Rose