A long time ago, before science and technology, people believed the earth to be flat; and understandably so. But then, a new discovery was made: suddenly everyone believed the earth was round. This theory has been proven by famous astronomers throughout the ages, including Pythagoras and Aristotle. I, however, have a different view of this statement. The earth is flat and I can prove it! When I was eighteen my family and I journeyed to Botany Bay in Scotland. I remember gazing down at the great ocean for the first time. I can’t remember a time where I felt so small and unmeaningful. I had no idea the earth was this large, let along one ocean. I remember feeling scared as I stared at the monstrous swells crashing against the cliffs, slowly devouring their walls. I sat in wonderment as a shower of white foam splashed triumphantly against a boulder, creating a blizzard of salty foam. I clung to my sister, Beth, then let go quickly, feeling embarrassed. I was the oldest. I could not act frightened in the presence of my siblings. I watched my little brother, Jonny as he pranced around the seaboard fearlessly, overcome with joy. At first I thought of reprimanding him. After all, that was very dangerous…wasn’t it? I always wished for the same courage as my little brother. Was I becoming overprotective? I skipped to him gleefully and grasped his little fingers. We spun around in circles, laughing and singing, becoming gradually dizzier. I had never been as happy, as peacefully content as I was at that moment. Nothing could make my spirits descend, not even my family’s desperate screams--those icy, deafening cries. I was no longer holding my brother’s hands. I felt my stomach lurch. My last step—my foot never touching the ground. Then, as quick as a heartbeat, I was falling…falling towards my death. I tried to scream but noise failed to escape came my mouth. I should have started praying, begging God for forgiveness. My brothers and sisters would have loved me more if I had given them the space they needed. If I wasn’t constantly yelling at them, maybe we could have been happier together. I hoped they knew I loved them more than anything in the world. I hoped they knew that I was just trying to protect them. But I didn’t think of any of that. I didn’t think to pray. My brain seemed to have been wiped clean. I even forgot to be upset that I was plummeting towards my death, about to appear before the good Lord himself in a matter of seconds. But wait—how long had I been falling for? I risked opening my eyes. The colors blurred together all around me. A whipping wind was coming from beneath me. I tried to move my arms down by my sides but it was too hard. I forced air into my lungs. I wasn’t going to die. I began to relax. I fell for what seemed like an eternity. I soon forgot why I was falling or how it had started. And that is where I remain today…falling. So, tell me what you think. What other explanation could there be? I still believe that I am falling off the edge of the earth.
Dear Lord, you're such an amazing writer! :O I love this! I love how you started talking about the world being flat, and then you left us hanging, wondering why you said that. I love your descriptions, and your writing style, cause it's very catchy. The only thing I suggest is... make more paragraphs, that will make the reader feel less lazy about reading it. But seriously, this is one of the best topics I've read on YWS!
Keep writing!... and posting!
~Solly<3
Noob is a state of being, not a length of time. ~Ego
"Serás del tamaño de tus pensamientos; no te permitas fracasar."
Great... The story really catched me, I think it was wonderful. Although I agree that you should make more paragraphs, just for a place to rest the eye. The one thing that I didn't really understand though, was the character's change of mind: He is questioning himself and then he is suddenly very happy: "Was I becoming overprotective? I skipped to him gleefully and grasped his little fingers. We spun around in circles, laughing and singing, becoming gradually dizzier. I had never been as happy, as peacefully content as I was at that moment." I think that's the only "but" I see. It was very good from the beginning to the end. Good job!
"True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read." - Pliny the Elder
Gender:
Points: 1262
Reviews: 33