Simons Diary
By Cathy Scott
Monday 5th June 1987
I am called Simon. My full name is Simon George Hari. I hate it. I hate my whole life. The whole of it. I bet you’re wondering why. Well, this is why: I have no friends. I did once though. His name was Jack. We were walking home from school. It was the day before my birthday and I was telling him what I wanted. I had crossed the road, but Jack was still crossing. A car came out of nowhere. It hit him. The car had driven off before I could stop it. By the time the ambulance had arrived, Jack was dead.
I will never forget my birthday that year. I have still got his present. He gave me a football signed by the whole of the England team. I miss him so much.
Anyway, that was a year ago. I am over it.
Let me tell you about my school. It is called Aniey High and is in the centre of Hertfordshire. I live about 30 miles away, in a village called Crowden. It is a very small village. There are only about 20 people living here and most of them are elderly.
I live in a big house. It has five floors. Luckily I don’t have any brothers or sisters so I get a whole floor to my-self! I got to choose all the decorations as well. Light green and orange striped walls and a dark blue carpet. That’s where I live most of the time. On my floor. People at school call me a loner.
Talking of school, I better be off.
Write again tomorrow.
Tuesday 6th June 1987
I hate school so much. Pete came up to me yesterday and told me that I killed Jack. But he knows I didn’t. He is in a gang called the Hard Core. There are 5 of them. They have been bullying me for ages, but I don’t have the guts to tell anyone. When I arrive at school they are waiting for me at the gates. The call me a fat b****** and a loner.
My Mum knows something is wrong. She keeps pestering me “Why wont you open up to me? I’m your Mum.” And “You look so upset, Why? I know Jack died, but you can’t turn back time.” I know that I can’t turn back time, but I can still be sad, can’t I?
People have tried to make friends with me, but I like silence. I can think about stuff that I can’t say to people. I don’t know much about anything really. I don’t like sport. Jack and I used to go and see Manchester United every Saturday. I haven’t been since he was killed. I don’t listen to music either. I find it reminds me of him, and I get upset.
I have just read what I have written. It sounds like I only think about Jack. Well, it’s not true. I have nightmares about Hard Core. They are standing over me with a knife. That’s when I wake up. What a birthday.
Wednesday 7th June 1987
Today the Hard Core asked me if I wanted to go to a party on Friday night. They said it would just be people in our class. I told them I would ask my Mum.
When I did ask her, I was begging her to say no. I knew that they were tricking me. Mum said that she would drop me off at Pete’s house at 7pm. I phoned Pete. This is our conversation:
“Hi Pete, its Simon.”
“Can you come to the party?” he asked in a gruff voice.
“Yes, what time does it finish?” I answered.
“We will walk you home.” he replied. “Have to go, see you tomorrow.”
It was really strange.
He sounded like he was very pleased I was coming but was thinking of something else. Something bad.
I don’t understand.
Thursday 8th June
I am really excited about tomorrow! I can’t wait! I asked Pete what he was thinking of on the phone last night. He said he had just broken up with his girlfriend and not to worry about it. They are really friendly to me now. I think they have realised that I just want some friends! School was really cool today. We did photography in Art and I got A*! Miss Crarke was really pleased with me. She has displayed my work on the reception board where everyone can see it. I am really embarrassed! Pete told me it was amazing and wished he could do something like that! I have to get my sleep; otherwise I will be really tired!
Friday 9th June 1987
I’m really excited about tonight! I’m going to wear my jeans and a blue t-shirt. I have told my Mum that I will be home about 10.30pm. She was fine about it. She is glad that I have at last made some friends! I will write when I get home! Wish me Luck!!!
I can’t believe it. He has been dead for 10 years. I have only just found this diary. I feel so sorry for him. He was so happy that day, before he left for school! It was the happiest I have seen him for ages. Since Jack died. He would have been 25 today. It’s all down to Pete and his gang. At least they confessed. This is what Alex, one of the gang members told me when I went to question him in prison:
“It was Friday night; we were walking Simon home, from a party we had just been at. Pete had told me what we were going to do that morning. Chris, Sam and Keith already knew. We walked down to Crowden River. Chris and Keith had all the equipment we would need. Ropes and Rocks.
We stopped about half a mile down from the bridge, so we could still hear the traffic. It was a very muggy night, so we decided to sit and dangle our feet in the river. The moon was out, so there was a bit of light.
Pete started speak.
“The party was really good!” he said. “I would like to invite you again.” He got up. He took Simons arm and pulled him up off the river bank and pushed him against a tree.
“What are you doing?” Simon shouted. Pete whispered in his ear “If you shout again we will tell the police that you killed Jack and attempted to kill me as well!” “But I didn’t” Simon replied quietly. “I know!” Pete laughed meanly. He took one of the rocks that were piled up next to the tree. “What are you doing?” Simon asked. “I don’t know! Why don’t you tell me!” “I think you should hit your-self on the head. It might make you less of a psycho,” Simon said through gritted teeth.
Pete then took the rope and pointed at me to help tie him up. I just sat there. I didn’t want to participate.
Sam got up. They started to wrap the rope around him. Adding a rock every few meters. I sat watching. Simon was struggling and started to scream. Sam pulled out a dirty piece of cloth and tied it round his mouth. Simon kept on struggling. Trying to kick Pete to stop him. He eventually gave up.
It was about half an hour since we had arrived at the river. I knew Simon’s Mum would be wondering where he was.
Pete, Chris, Sam and Keith carried Simon down to the edge of the water.
After 30 seconds, Simon was sinking to the bottom of the river bed. His eyes were filled with fear and dread.
I wanted to jump in after him, but I knew they would kill me too.
They started to laugh. “We have done it! Murdered our witness! Our second murder. I know we will get away with it!” Pete said.
The water was silent, and I knew that he was dead.
I still have it in my mind. I dream about it every night, in my tiny prison cell.
We all got arrested, and after 6 months inside, Pete died. He was seriously ill in the head.
I didn’t tell the courts what I have just told you. I know I shouldn’t be here, but I couldn’t live with my- self if I was free. I deserve it. I should have stopped them.”
That’s what Alex told me. I felt so sorry for him. I don’t know how he survives. I know I couldn’t. The prison told him he could go, but he wouldn’t. He said he has got used to it. It’s the way he can get rid of that guilty feeling at the pit of his stomach.
They found Simons body about 2 weeks after he was killed. At the bottom of Crowden river.
I miss him so much.
. Just a question - was it his mother that is speaking in the second half of the piece? :-k Maybe you could clarify.
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