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First Trouble Comes Trouble



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Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:49 am
Nobody's-Fault says...



First Trouble Then Comes Trouble
or
Syndicated Theatre
By
Matthew

We were on the ground level, the street. I'd asked Sean if he had any leads at all this time. It wasn't the first time we'd done something like this. He had nothing; he just knew we had to get inside if we wanted to find Ashley. Sean was wearing a biker type jacket, leather, he was tough, I'd seen him fight a couple of times, and I knew what he could do. Sean could take care of himself.

Sean also had a black leather trench coat, but he didn't wear it this time. I myself wore my battle coat. It was 1780s military issue coat. Green and black. And my motorcycle crash pants. They were black. Rip-stop nylon. I carried a sword, so did Sean. But we didn't really use them. We both knew Jeet Kune Do. But we differed a little; Sean was big on kicks, while I was big on the use of knees and elbows. I kicked too, but if it came down to it, Sean was the better kicker, I was better at entrapments. We were equally matched. My sword was a Nakago katana, and Sean a Yamato. I preferred the almost straight curve to the Nakago, or O Kissaki Shinogi, to the Yamato, with a more violent curve to it. Sean and I decided we could each handle ourselves, and that we would be better off to find Ashley if we split up, so we did. I took the left wing, and Sean the right.

I got in the door about twelve feet when I saw where I wanted to go, the stairs. Why? Simply because there was dramatically less people who took the stairs as opposed to the elevator. I wasn't exactly dressed for the opera. I took the stairs. About two thirds of the way up the stairs, I managed to run into two guys in suits and sunglasses.

They must've been mafia.

I easily dispatched the first one, I had the sword, and I hit him in the abdomen with it, knocking him out, and the second guy came at me and acted like he wanted to pull a gun, I just cut him really quickly along the arm, and then he groaned, and I turned about, and he charged me, and I dodged him, went above his attempted tackle, and elbow-speared him to the back of the head. I then began running up the stairs, I made it to the top in no time at all, only to find no door at all.

I looked and looked, and finally, I realized that a large part of one wall was a secret door. I managed to pry it open, when I discovered an alcove that led into a large expansive room.

The carpeting was red, the floor wasn't entirely covered in carpet though, the red carpet, led from the door I opened to a large modern-looking Steel and Marble desk, that had a wall of tinted windows high and behind it to the right, though, not much light came in through those windows. The rest of the floor was comprised of black and white marble, and there was a wall directly to the left of me, obscuring my view of that side of the room entirely. There were many decorative plants in the room, and many nice white and gray leather chairs. The room was extremely classy.

I made myself to rush to the desk in front of me, to search for papers containing information, when I stayed my foot. I noticed that a lot of light was coming in the room from the left where I couldn't see anything, and I saw a fixed shadow in the center of that light, it was someone's silhouette.

He was armed, with a sword.

I approached that side of the room slowly, and surely. I thought I'd have to fight some hired assassin samurai. Boy was I wrong, he was white. I approached slowly once more, and it was then I noticed what kind of sword it was.

It was a black and red handled Orishigane.

It was then I knew this'd be the most difficult battle of my life. Only one person had a black and red Orishigane. He stood there flanked on either side by light, and facing away. He greeted me, "Hello, twin brother."

He wore a black and red coat, and cloak. He thought he was Alucard, from Castlevania. We both loved the game as kids, only, he took it literally. His hair wasn't long, it was a little longer than mine, and it was lying down, I always spiked mine. He threw his cloak off, and turned to face me. We had loved swords as kids, but he preferred the more discernable curve of the Orishagame, and I the Nakago. He and I had always had a friendly rivalry, but when he joined the syndicate, or at least talked of it, things went awry. My name was still Matthew, and his name, Gabriel.

Gabe was extremely talented in everything he did, especially in making trouble; no one ever thought of me as the trouble maker, when really, we did everything together. His style had been superior to mine since he trained with the true master of a style the Gabe referred to as Shiike-Go. Little did Gabe know, I had trained, and developed a style all my own.

When the fight began, it was intense, and I knew he was just toying with me, and he knew I was giving it my all. He then burst out, “TIME TO END THIS SILLY LITTLE GAME BROTHER!" and he upped the Anti all the way, it was then I knew I had to break out my style, and fast.

I did a Hitengeki. A move that I and another who trained with me in mutuality knew alone. I didn't do the move to Gabe; I did it to his sword. He was kind of surprised that I moved so fast, but he thought I was just blocking, that is, until his sword fell to the floor in a million shards. He had a look upon his face as though he'd seen a ghost.

The funny thing about us was, we had different eyes. Mine were steely blue, and his were pale green.

He moved, and I thought he was running, when he pulled another sword out of his cloak. I was amazed that he still wished to fight. I could only oblige my brother further. I then loosed the full force of the Hitengeki style upon mine Gabriel. It was all he could do to keep his sword intact, and we were both sweating, when I did something I had never done before. I struck the floor of the room, and a shock wave took Gabriel by storm, he was knocked off his feet, and before he hit the ground, I had cut his arm, and knocked his Orishagane from him. I caught it, and pointed both swords at my brother.

Seeing his defeat, my brother confessed his reasons for joining the Dragon Seven. That was the name of the syndicate. "Brother, it is well you should know the difference between us. I would have killed you."

I replied," I am aware of that Gabe, I am aware of that."

Gabe then said, "I joined because of Elizabeth. They took my only love Matthew, they took her."

"Gabriel! Where is she?!"

“I don't know, or I'd take her."

“When this is all said and done, I shall help you find your precious Elizabeth."

"It means a great deal that after my trying to kill you, you offer to find my love. Alas, I must decline; I can’t let you do that brother. I know you have your love. She needs you. Go to her, you aren't too late; she is beyond in the opera room. The opera starts in half an hour. If you hurry you shall catch her."

"You mean that Gabe?"

"You bet your ass I mean it."

"Thank you brother. God speed Elizabeth to you." I then threw Gabe his sword, and rushed into the next room.

I found Ashley, and ran to her, to warn her of what I'd seen, on the desk, while fighting Gabe. I was amazed slightly that I found anything during the battle with my brother. I was about halfway to Ashley, and I was shot in the shoulder. I instantly knew the trajectory of the projectile. 15 years of living one life with Gabe had taught me that. I turned on the assailant, when I saw Gabriel again.

He spoke to me as he dispatched of the now issuing forth Mafia members, “GO DAMN YOU! GO! YOU CANNOT SAVE ANY ONE GAWKING AT ME, NOW GO!" I nodded in reply.

I then turned on Ashley, told her what I'd seen, and asked, "Where is she, do you know? Is she in this room?"

"No, she is in the lobby out there, she left shortly. Hurry! The Mafia knows you're here now!"

“I know, don't tell me, I know." Ashley was one of my assignment partners in a circle formed against the syndicate.

I ran to the lobby, and I had to go full out on six attackers. They all approached at once, I unsheathed my sword, and dispatched two of them in one fell swoop. Then before I could move, a Yamato came down next to me, blocking what would have cut me. It was Sean, and without word, he helped me rid the room of Mafia, he then motioned to the next room, and before I could answer, I turned and left.

I didn't need telling twice. Sonia was in there, I knew it. I kept my sword out, my style necessitates that I don't draw until after the attacker does, but I didn't care. All I wanted was to see Sonia. I ran in, and I found her, unharmed. I took her by the hand, and without word, we were off to the stairway I had come in. I looked in on Sean, and he was helping my brother fend of the Mafia. I motioned to Sean to go down to the street, and to take Ashley with him. He nodded silently. I proceeded to run to the stairs, and Sonia couldn't keep up with my long strides. So I picked her up to run to the stairs. I didn't sway my running any.

When we arrived at the stair way, I looked across, because this was part of the building where you could see clearly from one side to the other, and I saw Sean and Ashley moving to the stairs, and surprisingly Gabe wasn't with them. I put on the jets going down the stairs, and I still managed to keep Sonia on her feet, to keep her from falling.

When we arrived at the bottom, there were three assassins. I stopped Sonia, and sent her back up the stairs partly, but she watched me fight instead. I accidentally cut off the hand of the first guy, and the other two turned to each other, and charged me with swords drawn, both at the same time, and I jumped out of the way and elbow speared one, and knocked the other out with the butt of my Nakago. I then grabbed Sonia up, and headed to the street, sword still drawn. Two men approached me, but after I JKD'd the first one right in the face, the other lost heart.

I finally made it out to the Street level with Sonia, and Sean and Ashley were there to greet us. I sheathed the Nakago, and took Sonia by both hands, and walked her to Sean and Ashley. Sean asked what happened, and why I was kind of late. I replied with, "Gabe."

"What he...didn't let you by?” said Sean.

"No. I had to fight him. He was going to-"

"I would have killed him.” interjected Gabe. "If not for his skill. He knows the blade better than I know."

"I WAS fueled by love brother."

"Feelings aside, you did well. I am proud of what you have become. I must leave you now, for I must find my Elizabeth."

"Let us come with you!" Sean and I both said.

"No, that would be folly. I need to clear up this Mafia mess, and re-enter the Dragons of Seven. It's the only way that I can find Elizabeth without their killing her."

"I see.” I said. “Does that mean you won't be able to stay with us, not yet?"

"Yes, I must go now, sianara brother."

"Hopefully next time we meet, we'll be drinking tea together, instead of trying to kill each other."

"Yes, yes indeed." And with that, Gabriel left us. After a bit of clean up, Gabriel wasn't seen outside the building anymore.

"Wonder how he'll clean all that up." Ashley said.

"No telling what Gabe'll do, or what he really can. He has always held back just a little. He says I do the same, but I think I am really trying."

"No. You're brother's right Matt. You do hold back, you just don't know It." said Sean. "Well, maybe some day he can fix that, isn't that right?" Sonia said.

"Uh-huh. You betcha."

The End.
Last edited by Nobody's-Fault on Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:38 am
Snoink says...



Copy and paste this and then put it in your original entry.

First Trouble Then Comes Trouble
or
Syndicated Theatre
By
Matthew

We were on the ground level, the street. I'd asked Sean if he had any leads at all this time. It wasn't the first time we'd done something like this. He had nothing; he just knew we had to get inside if we wanted to find Ashley. Sean was wearing a biker type jacket, leather, he was tough, I'd seen him fight a couple of times, and I knew what he could do. Sean could take care of himself.

Sean also had a black leather trench coat, but he didn't wear it this time. I myself wore my battle coat. It was 1780s military issue coat. Green and black. And my motorcycle crash pants. They were black. Rip-stop nylon. I carried a sword, so did Sean. But we didn't really use them. We both knew Jeet Kune Do. But we differed a little; Sean was big on kicks, while I was big on the use of knees and elbows. I kicked too, but if it came down to it, Sean was the better kicker, I was better at entrapments. We were equally matched. My sword was a Nakago katana, and Sean a Yamato. I preferred the almost straight curve to the Nakago, or O Kissaki Shinogi, to the Yamato, with a more violent curve to it. Sean and I decided we could each handle ourselves, and that we would be better off to find Ashley if we split up, so we did. I took the left wing, and Sean the right.

I got in the door about twelve feet when I saw where I wanted to go, the stairs. Why? Simply because there was dramatically less people who took the stairs as opposed to the elevator. I wasn't exactly dressed for the opera. I took the stairs. About two thirds of the way up the stairs, I managed to run into two guys in suits and sunglasses.

They must've been mafia.

I easily dispatched the first one, I had the sword, and I hit him in the abdomen with it, knocking him out, and the second guy came at me and acted like he wanted to pull a gun, I just cut him really quickly along the arm, and then he groaned, and I turned about, and he charged me, and I dodged him, went above his attempted tackle, and elbow-speared him to the back of the head. I then began running up the stairs, I made it to the top in no time at all, only to find no door at all.

I looked and looked, and finally, I realized that a large part of one wall was a secret door. I managed to pry it open, when I discovered an alcove that led into a large expansive room.

The carpeting was red, the floor wasn't entirely covered in carpet though, the red carpet, led from the door I opened to a large modern-looking Steel and Marble desk, that had a wall of tinted windows high and behind it to the right, though, not much light came in through those windows. The rest of the floor was comprised of black and white marble, and there was a wall directly to the left of me, obscuring my view of that side of the room entirely. There were many decorative plants in the room, and many nice white and gray leather chairs. The room was extremely classy.

I made myself to rush to the desk in front of me, to search for papers containing information, when I stayed my foot. I noticed that a lot of light was coming in the room from the left where I couldn't see anything, and I saw a fixed shadow in the center of that light, it was someone's silhouette.

He was armed, with a sword.

I approached that side of the room slowly, and surely. I thought I'd have to fight some hired assassin samurai. Boy was I wrong, he was white. I approached slowly once more, and it was then I noticed what kind of sword it was.

It was a black and red handled Orishigane.

It was then I knew this'd be the most difficult battle of my life. Only one person had a black and red Orishigane. He stood there flanked on either side by light, and facing away. He greeted me, "Hello, twin brother."

He wore a black and red coat, and cloak. He thought he was Alucard, from Castlevania. We both loved the game as kids, only, he took it literally. His hair wasn't long, it was a little longer than mine, and it was lying down, I always spiked mine. He threw his cloak off, and turned to face me. We had loved swords as kids, but he preferred the more discernable curve of the Orishagame, and I the Nakago. He and I had always had a friendly rivalry, but when he joined the syndicate, or at least talked of it, things went awry. My name was still Matthew, and his name, Gabriel.

Gabe was extremely talented in everything he did, especially in making trouble; no one ever thought of me as the trouble maker, when really, we did everything together. His style had been superior to mine since he trained with the true master of a style the Gabe referred to as Shiike-Go. Little did Gabe know, I had trained, and developed a style all my own.

When the fight began, it was intense, and I knew he was just toying with me, and he knew I was giving it my all. He then burst out, “TIME TO END THIS SILLY LITTLE GAME BROTHER!" and he upped the Anti all the way, it was then I knew I had to break out my style, and fast.

I did a Hitengeki. A move that I and another who trained with me in mutuality knew alone. I didn't do the move to Gabe; I did it to his sword. He was kind of surprised that I moved so fast, but he thought I was just blocking, that is, until his sword fell to the floor in a million shards. He had a look upon his face as though he'd seen a ghost.

The funny thing about us was, we had different eyes. Mine were steely blue, and his were pale green.

He moved, and I thought he was running, when he pulled another sword out of his cloak. I was amazed that he still wished to fight. I could only oblige my brother further. I then loosed the full force of the Hitengeki style upon mine Gabriel. It was all he could do to keep his sword intact, and we were both sweating, when I did something I had never done before. I struck the floor of the room, and a shock wave took Gabriel by storm, he was knocked off his feet, and before he hit the ground, I had cut his arm, and knocked his Orishagane from him. I caught it, and pointed both swords at my brother.

Seeing his defeat, my brother confessed his reasons for joining the Dragon Seven. That was the name of the syndicate. "Brother, it is well you should know the difference between us. I would have killed you."

I replied," I am aware of that Gabe, I am aware of that."

Gabe then said, "I joined because of Elizabeth. They took my only love Matthew, they took her."

"Gabriel! Where is she?!"

“I don't know, or I'd take her."

“When this is all said and done, I shall help you find your precious Elizabeth."

"It means a great deal that after my trying to kill you, you offer to find my love. Alas, I must decline; I can’t let you do that brother. I know you have your love. She needs you. Go to her, you aren't too late; she is beyond in the opera room. The opera starts in half an hour. If you hurry you shall catch her."

"You mean that Gabe?"

"You bet your ass I mean it."

"Thank you brother. God speed Elizabeth to you." I then threw Gabe his sword, and rushed into the next room.

I found Ashley, and ran to her, to warn her of what I'd seen, on the desk, while fighting Gabe. I was amazed slightly that I found anything during the battle with my brother. I was about halfway to Ashley, and I was shot in the shoulder. I instantly knew the trajectory of the projectile. 15 years of living one life with Gabe had taught me that. I turned on the assailant, when I saw Gabriel again.

He spoke to me as he dispatched of the now issuing forth Mafia members, “GO DAMN YOU! GO! YOU CANNOT SAVE ANY ONE GAWKING AT ME, NOW GO!" I nodded in reply.

I then turned on Ashley, told her what I'd seen, and asked, "Where is she, do you know? Is she in this room?"

"No, she is in the lobby out there, she left shortly. Hurry! The Mafia knows you're here now!"

“I know, don't tell me, I know." Ashley was one of my assignment partners in a circle formed against the syndicate.

I ran to the lobby, and I had to go full out on six attackers. They all approached at once, I unsheathed my sword, and dispatched two of them in one fell swoop. Then before I could move, a Yamato came down next to me, blocking what would have cut me. It was Sean, and without word, he helped me rid the room of Mafia, he then motioned to the next room, and before I could answer, I turned and left.

I didn't need telling twice. Sonia was in there, I knew it. I kept my sword out, my style necessitates that I don't draw until after the attacker does, but I didn't care. All I wanted was to see Sonia. I ran in, and I found her, unharmed. I took her by the hand, and without word, we were off to the stairway I had come in. I looked in on Sean, and he was helping my brother fend of the Mafia. I motioned to Sean to go down to the street, and to take Ashley with him. He nodded silently. I proceeded to run to the stairs, and Sonia couldn't keep up with my long strides. So I picked her up to run to the stairs. I didn't sway my running any.

When we arrived at the stair way, I looked across, because this was part of the building where you could see clearly from one side to the other, and I saw Sean and Ashley moving to the stairs, and surprisingly Gabe wasn't with them. I put on the jets going down the stairs, and I still managed to keep Sonia on her feet, to keep her from falling.

When we arrived at the bottom, there were three assassins. I stopped Sonia, and sent her back up the stairs partly, but she watched me fight instead. I accidentally cut off the hand of the first guy, and the other two turned to each other, and charged me with swords drawn, both at the same time, and I jumped out of the way and elbow speared one, and knocked the other out with the butt of my Nakago. I then grabbed Sonia up, and headed to the street, sword still drawn. Two men approached me, but after I JKD'd the first one right in the face, the other lost heart.

I finally made it out to the Street level with Sonia, and Sean and Ashley were there to greet us. I sheathed the Nakago, and took Sonia by both hands, and walked her to Sean and Ashley. Sean asked what happened, and why I was kind of late. I replied with, "Gabe."

"What he...didn't let you by?” said Sean.

"No. I had to fight him. He was going to-"

"I would have killed him.” interjected Gabe. "If not for his skill. He knows the blade better than I know."

"I WAS fueled by love brother."

"Feelings aside, you did well. I am proud of what you have become. I must leave you now, for I must find my Elizabeth."

"Let us come with you!" Sean and I both said.

"No, that would be folly. I need to clear up this Mafia mess, and re-enter the Dragons of Seven. It's the only way that I can find Elizabeth without their killing her."

"I see.” I said. “Does that mean you won't be able to stay with us, not yet?"

"Yes, I must go now, sianara brother."

"Hopefully next time we meet, we'll be drinking tea together, instead of trying to kill each other."

"Yes, yes indeed." And with that, Gabriel left us. After a bit of clean up, Gabriel wasn't seen outside the building anymore.

"Wonder how he'll clean all that up." Ashley said.

"No telling what Gabe'll do, or what he really can. He has always held back just a little. He says I do the same, but I think I am really trying."

"No. You're brother's right Matt. You do hold back, you just don't know It." said Sean. "Well, maybe some day he can fix that, isn't that right?" Sonia said.

"Uh-huh. You betcha."

The End.


I'm pretty sure that this forum totally screwed up your story, but just in case, look at what I did. I seperated it into paragraphs when:

  • Dialogue was spoken.
  • The main character entered a new place.
  • A new description was being made.


So... yeah. Copy and paste that. I'll try to do a critique soon...
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 890
Reviews: 1
Fri Aug 26, 2005 4:54 am
Nobody's-Fault says...



I owe you my gratitude! It wouldn't be very easy for me, being in a time constraint as I am now, to fix that. I appreciate your efforts very much. The forum definitely did something it shouldn't have. So shall I say this again, for emphasis. Thank you! Please tell me what you think of my story, as I am anxious to know what you think of it. I, myself, am not the most proud of it. It was originally a dream I had, that I put into a story form. I write out dreams, as an excercise. Sometimes they are interesting, other times, no. Well, once again, thank you!
343 never forget
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 26
Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:41 pm
astrogemini says...



I don't usually like short stories, but yours is really cool. I'd like to see more, it's an interesting little story.
Keep up the good work.

--Greg.
"If you were a ham...I would bake you."
  








You got rid of them. Yes, that's just like you. Getting rid of everything unpleasant instead of learning to put up with it.
— Aldous Huxley, Brave New World