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The Sky is Beautiful
The night wind is a susurrus. It moans sonnet secrets into my ears and whispers of a promise to an impending place. I want to continuously listen to it while gazing at the violet clouds which overlap the soft black sky.
But my body is weak; my mind decrepit with scars that run years long and not even time is at my side. Immobile in the cool sands of the desert, I am lost to the world. It does not bother me, for no one can wound me in a place uninhabited by the punishing deeds of love.
I will gladly take this as my coffin.
My muscles ache as I try to lift my back off the prickly scrubs underneath that poke my spine like familiar needles but it is a wasted endeavor. I lean back receiving the pain and making out the shadows of the cactus plants that mimic society. They all just stand and watch me, look at me with solid pity and never move, never lend a hand. They are afraid, fearful that my thorns will pierce them too and that we will both bleed.
I focus past the pounding in my head. My reflection is in the sky as if I too, have been paved over by darkness. I know what I look like through its eyes and I am not beautiful anymore. Underneath my nails are clotted with his skin, blood and the last fruitless attempt to untie the intricate knot that bound us. My once flaxen hair is entangled with my life’s misfortunes and mistakes…my regrets and languishes. I can feel the slashes of his wrath on my body and they burn like candle wax that never dries cold, keeping me warm from the night’s brisk. Yet, I feel myself bleed out, the warmth dripping away slowly…
He made me believe he was my world. With flowers and gifts of promises, I lived on his land, fed on his camouflaged cordiality and in return, I gave him my soul, body, heart and mind. I obliged, thinking this is what love is…to sacrifice and leave everything for my darling.
But he was not.
My devil was cunning and sly. He led me away from the safety I thought was a cage and wove me into his confined web. I was his dissection project, a mere toy to his sadistically crooked behavior and I became the grapes that fed his twisted affinity.
I was young. I was innocent, and I was all but deserving of this cruelty. A simple mistake in judgment was the guillotine over the soft skin of my back neck.
With a difficult swallow, I close my eyes to the escaping tears that trickle down into my ears. My fingers shake as I place them over my belly and interlace my fingers. I’m wearing a red dress, the one my devil brought for me two years ago. I recall feeling so beautiful in it. Now, it’s shattered, ripped and torn like my very soul.
When my lashes flutter open, the wind has stopped speaking of assurance and my sky has left me in the darkest of all places. Alone, cold, hungry and beaten, I can only whimper with my last belief that there is a God. That he will see my pain and open these shackles that bind me with his key.
I cannot be fixed in this world…
Any more time is just torture. I wish to cry but my voice is trapped with an oath to silence and fear of tomorrow, something my devil taught me a long time ago. I understand what I did wrong and I could only blame myself for being naïve and an ignoramus. The signs were prominent but I refused to accept them and I had faith…
The corners of my mouth crinkle and a tormented sound escapes through my heart, freeing itself with open wings, stretching far and wide and in a brief moment, it evaporates.
The devil is gone, I cajole myself. He’s through with me and has dumped me on the ground to die. I consider it his last gift to me. A smile forms with the slit, broken lips he gave me with his vengeful kisses, liquid from my nose slides into the corner of my lips and I think I am happy so I choke a chuckle…
As I lay there for hours on end taking in the last sips of reality and losing my mind to the world, the darkness slowly begins to stir. My head turns and I force myself to be alert in fear that he has returned.
My eyes grow wide as the horizon glows with a gradient of warm colors that shatter the ebony clouds and touch my skin, bringing it to life. My breath is caught inside as it’s possibly one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. It grows, fighting off the dark and consuming everything as it unfolds itself like a colorful quilt. My heart lurches, wishing to be part of it.
The golden circle appears overhead, watching me as my eyes strain to catch every detail of the dying world. My thoughts are flashing in a multitude of sweet moments I had once forgotten. My blood boils as the warmth seeps into my bones and massages my aches, reviving my every sense and I’m blooming. I’m healing.
My eyes close to the light and I let the bright rays take me away, to the home where the wind whispered about and where I am finally free.
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