A dog at christmas time.

The Christmas Wish

Barney looked up at the stunningly decorated Christmas tree. He loved watching the fairy-lights flicker and the tinsel sparkle. At the top of the gigantic pine was a beautiful gold star the star that made small children’s eyes light up and filled hearts with joy and goodwill. The people around the tree were muttering their Christmas wishes.
Barney wished. He wished for happiness, but not for himself, for Sam.
He imagined Sam sat in his bedroom window looking out at the star making his Christmas wish and perhaps smiling the way Barney remembered. Barney knew this Christmas would not be a happy one for himself, he would maybe find a turkey bone on boxing day or possibly even a shelter to protect him from the frosty weather but he would not see the smiling faces of his family and to him that meant everything.
Barney's memories floated to him on the wind. It had been two months since he had jumped out of the car window in Halifax to chase the cat that had been mocking him and how he wished he hadn't. He often wondered what would have happened if the traffic lights had turned green a split second earlier, maybe he would not be here now living off of dustbin scraps and rain water.
A snow flake landed on his nose and brought his mind back to the present. Barney would have to find shelter soon or else sleep on the freezing street again. He got to his feet shaking the flakes off of his black coat then, leaving great paw prints in the snow he walked from the city center and onto main street.
There was not much snow on main, it had all been walked away by busy shoppers. Barney passed hundreds of people all laden with last minute shopping. The carrier bags rustling against their sides sounded like waves upon a rocky shore. One man tumbled from a shop supporting a large box, he stumbled blindly into Barney.
"Dumb dog!" The man yelled, kicking Barney into the crowd. Barney yelped. He found himself being trampled by a million people coming from all different directions, he howled in agony but they were all too busy with buying expensive things and yakking on mobiles to stop or care. The colorful lights that hung between the buildings added to his confusion.
He stumbled his way through the crowds then, as he felt like giving up and collapsing right there in the center of main, a voice clearer than any of the others called out so full of hope and joy that it broke through Barney's fear and filled his heart and memory.
A young boy dashed out across the street, his arms outstretched. Barney ran towards him and in a few seconds the boy had wrapped his arms around his beloved dog.
"I knew I'd find you," He whispered "I've missed you so much."
Barney wagged his tail. "I've missed you too Sam."

*Waves* Heya, I'll be your reviewer today.

Nitpicks ahead, be warned

Barney looked up at the stunningly decorated Christmas tree. *dies* Please use another word to replace "stunningly". Please? *pouts*

He loved watching the fairy-lights flicker and the tinsel sparkle. At the top of the gigantic pine was a beautiful gold star the star that made small children’s eyes light up and filled hearts with joy and goodwill. The people around the tree were muttering their Christmas wishes. This, I like. I like a lot ^^

It had been two months since he had jumped out of the car window in Halifax to chase the cat that had been mocking him and how he wished he hadn't. He often wondered what would have happened if the traffic lights had turned green a split second earlier, maybe he would not be here now living off of dustbin scraps and rain water. Sam seems to be a little boy, in the previous paragraph, and then in this paragraph you show him to be a dog? There is too much personification in the previous paragraph, dear; it's confusing. Or is this Barney? Replace some of the "he's" with "Barney" and "Sam"'s to make sure your reader doesn't get confused.

A snow flake landed on his nose and brought his mind back to the present. Barney would have to find shelter soon or else sleep on the freezing street again. He got to his feet shaking the flakes off of his black coat then, leaving great paw prints in the snow he walked from the city center and onto main street. What? Huh? Argh? I'm confused. Are they both dogs? I reckon you're using far too much personification, here, dear. You're making Barney and Sam sound human, but ... too much so. It gets far too confusing.

"Dumb dog!" He yelled kicking Barney into a crowd. Barney found himself being trampled by a million people coming from all different directions, all too busy with buying expensive things and yakking on mobiles to stop or care. Wouldn't Barney be in pain? Show us this; he won't be kicked away and trampeled without wincing or barking out of pain.

A young boy dashed out across the street, his arms outstretched. Barney ran towards him and in a few seconds the boy had wrapped his arms around his beloved dog. To be honest, this is the first point during which I am certain who is a dog, and who is a human. Be careful, such confusion isn't good.

It's written well, though, and it's an adorable story with a warmfuzzy happy ending ^^

Well done.

XxxDo

Any suggestion to replace 'stunningly' I know it's an adverb and I'm not to fond of them either but 'He looked up at the Christmas tree' seemed too blunt. Help please!

Hi first of all awwwwwww! Really sweet story! I loved your use of decription and I thought this piece was very nicely written. On with the review

Possible replacements for stunningly could be beautifully or artfully. If it were me I'd replace looked with gazed too (just my preference).

but he would not see the smiling faces of his family and to him that meant everything

This might just be me but it sounded a bit like not seeing the smiling faces of his family meant everything- as in it was a good thing I'd change 'and to him that' to 'that to him' to make the meaning more clear.

It had been two months since he had jumped out of the car window in Halifax to chase the cat that had been mocking him and how he wished he hadn't.

I found this sentence a bit clumsy and I think it went on too long. I'd break it up into something like this- It had been two months since he had jumped out of the car window in Halifax. It had seemed so important at the time to chase that mocking cat- but now he wished he hadn't.

He got to his feet, shaking the flakes off of his black coat, then, leaving great paw prints in the snow, he walked from the city center and onto main street.

I'm not too good at commenting on punctuation so you might want someone elses advice on that - but here I have put in bold where commas need to be. If it were me I'd break this up into two sentences after coat.

There was not much snow on main, it had all been walked away by busy shoppers

I'd use something other than walked, I would say trampled but you've used it later on so maybe something like 'trudged into the ground' with feet added on after busy shoppers.

a voice clearer than any of the others called out so full of hope and joy that it broke through Barney's fear and filled his heart and memory.

Instead of filled- as you have already said the voice is full of hope and joy and filled to me doesn't make much sense in this context- you could use tugged or pulled.

Barney wagged his tail. "I've missed you too Sam."

I love the ending but as Barney can't talk I'd put "I've missed you too Sam." into italics so that it looks more like his thoughts.

Overall I really enjoyed your story! All these coments are just suggestions so don't take any notice if you think differently, hope I've helped

I've not much time, so I'll be as brief as possible! No comments and chatisements on your grammar or punctuation and stuff.

Barney looked up at the stunningly decorated Christmas tree.
The "stunningly" can be replaced by rephrasing the sentence. "The heavily decorated Christmas tree caught his attention. He looked up at it, loving the way the fairy-lights flickered and the tinsel sparkled."
..or something like that.

"Dumb dog!" He yelled kicking Barney into a crowd. He yelped.
You put two different "he"s in the sentence. Try "Dumb dog!" the man yelled, kicking Barney into the crowd. Barney yelped."
By the way, since he can't see properly, how did he notice Barney?

I'm still not very clear what happened. He was involved in an accident, and then? He got lost?

Ah well, hope I helped.

Cheers,
Lily.