I love this story, but I want to polish it, so any crits are, as always, welcome.
Johnny Appletree
Round, ripe apples, soft, juicy pears, luscious grapes and tangy pineapples – Johnny loved them all. He ate fruit at breakfast (banana and strawberries with milk and yoghurt over his daily Weetbix), fruit at lunchtime (an orange, an apple, and occasionally a nectarine) and fruit after dinner for dessert. And he didn’t just eat the soft flesh of the fruit, either – no, Johnny ate the cores, the pits and sometimes even the peel. He ate so much fruit that his mother often teased him that he was beginning to look like a fruit – a pineapple on those bad hair days, and, when he had been particularly sweet, a peach or strawberry. To Johnny, fruit was so much a part of his life that if, for some horrible reason, fruit stopped growing, he didn’t know what he would do.
It was on one of his pear-shaped days, when things never seemed to go right, that he first began to suspect the truth, however: that his mother’s jokes weren’t quite as silly as they had appeared. It was lunchtime at Johnny’s school, and Johnny had wound up eating beside a rather bully-ish boy named Max, who, in a black T-shirt and well-worn jeans, proved such an intimidating-looking figure that none of the other boys dared to sit next to him.
“Hi,” said Johnny as he sat down. He had an idea that maybe Max wasn’t as bad as he looked, and perhaps he only wanted a little bit of friendliness to open up and become a fascinating eating companion. Max, however, merely grunted around his bacon and egg sandwich.
Perhaps his mouth was full, thought Johnny charitably. In what he later felt was a rather banana-brained move, Johnny held out a piece of his lunchtime fruit (a supreme sacrifice, to his way of thinking) and offered it to Max.
“Want some?” he asked tentatively. “I’ve got plenty.”
Max swallowed a bite of bread and looked darkly at his outstretched hand.
“Cant eat fruit,” he said flatly. “Too dangerous.”
Dangerous to eat fruit? Johnny stared at the nectarine. It sat in his palm, round, red and inoffensive.
“Dangerous how?”
“Seeds.” Max replied briefly, with what seemed to be a characteristic unwillingness to explain things properly. He took a large bite of his sandwich.
Still confused, Johnny watched him.
“What’s so dangerous about seeds?” he asked. Maybe Max was allergic? He wondered. Although he’d never heard of anyone being allergic to seeds before...
Max chewed slowly, and swallowed. After a sip of water from his drink bottle, he smacked his lips and gestured to the nectarine.
“See that fruit,” he said. “Know what it is?”
“Sure,” said Johnny. “It’s a nectarine.”
Max shook his head.
“It’s a seed pod,” he said seriously. “A secret weapon created by the government. They make the trees grow seeds, see, hidden in juice and stuff, and when they’re ready they drop ‘em to the ground for us to eat. But you know what happens if you accidentally swallow, say, a plum seed?”
Johnny, who only left the seeds if they were too big to swallow and who had probably eaten more plum seeds than he could count, was wide-eyed.
“No,” he said, small-voiced.
Leaning forward, Max lowered his voice, and his eyes gleamed as he whispered:
“They grow.”
“Grow?”
“Yup. Before you know it you have a plum tree sprouting in your belly, getting bigger and bigger every time you eat, until – BOOM! You explode.”
Bits of egg flew everywhere as Max demonstrated with both hands what such an explosion would be like. He took a triumphant bite, and continued with his mouth full. “I saw it on TV last week. Horrible.”
Johnny gulped.
“And – how do you stop yourself from exploding?” he asked nervously. “If you should happen to swallow a seed, I mean.”
Max shrugged.
“You could try drowning it,” he said doubtfully. “Or standing on your head. That sometimes works. But mostly, once it’s in there...”
He made a sweeping motion with his hand and pretended to keel over.
“You’re dead.”
“Oh.” Johnny said. He stared at the nectarine in his hand and slowly returned it to his lunch-box. “You know what? I don’t think I’m very hungry anymore.”
* * * * *
That night after dinner, when the family was eating strawberries and ice-cream for dessert, Johnny played with his food and asked his parents about plants.
“How do plants grow?” he said.
“In the ground, mostly,” said his father at once, swallowing a mouthful of fudge sauce.
“Don’t listen to your father, dear,” his mother advised. She explained to her son about roots and seedlings, and how trees needed light and water to produce their food.
“They’re very clever,” she said. “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, no reason,” Johnny said. He gazed at the fruit in his bowl, and pushed it away. “I’ve had enough. May I be excused?”
* * * * *
Later, Johnny kissed his parents good night and went up to bed. He lay awake, looking at the dark fruit wallpaper and imagining himself exploding. What would it be like? Would he get a stomach-ache first and have to see the doctor? He wondered what the family physician, a short, round man called Dr. Phelps, would think if he had to explain the situation.
“Hello young Johnny,” the doctor would exclaim when he came in. “Always a pleasure. What can I do for you today? Nothing too serious, I hope.”
“My tummy hurts.”
“That’s no good,” the doctor would say. “Lets see what we can do to fix it.”
Dr. Phelps would then sit him up on the bed and pull up his shirt so that he could listen to Johnny’s heart and breathing, and then he would listen to his tummy too.
“That’s odd,” he’d say. “I think I can hear leaves rustling. We’ll have to do an x-ray.”
And what would the x-ray show? Dozing now, Johnny thought that it would probably be a picture of his stomach, with a miniature orchard growing inside it.
“Just as I thought,” he heard Dr. Phelps mutter grimly in his head. “You’ve swallowed too many fruit seeds, I’m afraid, Johnny. There’s nothing we can do.”
“How long till he explodes, Doctor?” His mother would ask tearfully.
“That depends.” Dr. Phelps would say, shaking his grey beard sadly down at Johnny.
“Depends on what?”
But just as the doctor was about to reveal the secret to surviving, Johnny heard another voice calling him.
“Johnny, time to get up!”
Johnny started awake at his mother’s shout. He must have fallen asleep, and his dreams had continued where his thoughts left off.
He got up, feeling as though he hadn’t slept a wink.
“Coming, Mum!” he called. His reflection stared at him out of the mirror, and he felt his tummy writhe.
“I am not going to explode!” he told it fiercely. “I’m not, I’m not!”
* * * * *
At lunchtime, Johnny didn’t sit with Max again. Instead, he sat with a group of other boys who looked as though they didn’t know a thing about fruit seeds, and listened to them talk about sports and TV. It was comforting to sit in the sun and eat his tuna sandwich, thinking about rugby and cartoons instead of the fruit trees that were growing in his tummy. He didn’t touch the peach or the nectarine his mother had packed for him, although he decided that the orange was probably safe. When he chucked the peel away, he threw the other fruit with it.
* * * * *
When Johnny got home from school, it was to find that his mother had made him fruit salad for a snack.
“I’m not hungry.” Johnny said, after a longing look at the bowl. His mother looked surprised, and then worried.
“But it’s your favourite,” she said. “Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”
“I’m fine,” said Johnny. “Sorry, Mum. Ate too much at lunch. Maybe later.”
He ran upstairs to his room and shut the door. His tummy grumbled. Was he going to explode right now? Maybe he’d better try some of the cures that Max had suggested.
Getting a drink of water from the upstairs bathroom, Johnny placed it beside his bed and knelt down on the floor. It might be best to try both cures at once, he thought. That way there would be double the chance that they would work. So, carefully moving the glass out of range, he did his best to balance on his head against the mattress. Then, once he was secured, he reached for the glass and drank.
Nothing happened.
Maybe it takes a little while to work, Johnny thought. He took another sip of water, and felt the blood rushing to his head. He had been like that for at least a minute, and the water was mostly gone before his mother knocked on the door. Startled, Johnny fell over with a crash and spilt what was left of the water all over the carpet.
“What were you doing?!” His mother cried when she came in.
“Science experiment.” Johnny lied. He frowned up at her. “You scared me.”
“Sorry, dear,” she said. “I just came to make sure you weren’t feeling sick. You’ve been awfully quiet lately. Is something the matter?”
Johnny thought about the fruit trees in his tummy and hugged himself around the middle.
“No, Mum,” he shook his head. “Just busy.”
* * * * *
Saturday was Johnny’s friend Samuel’s birthday party. Johnny had forgotten all about it in his worry about the fruit trees, but he had received an invitation a week ago and had, before his talk with Max, been really looking forward to it. His mother dressed him in his best clothes and made him brush his hair and wash his face before they left. She’d bought Sammy a present too, wrapped in red and gold paper, which Johnny held on his lap in the car and tried to pretend he had x-ray vision so he could see what was inside. But thinking about x-rays made him remember his dream, so he quickly turned to watch the road instead.
Johnny had a good time at the party. He ate lots of cake and chips and pizza and ice-cream with jelly, but he wouldn’t touch the banana muffins or the apple sauce. By the time he went home, his tummy had stopped grumbling and felt full and satisfied.
“Did you have fun?” His mother asked. Johnny nodded.
“It was great!” He exclaimed. “Sammy’s Mum even gave us goodie-bags to take home. Look!”
He held up a small plastic bag filled with lollies.
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” said his mother. “But I wouldn’t eat any more sweets if I were you. You’ll be sick!”
* * * * *
When Johnny woke up on Sunday morning, he wondered if his mother could see into the future. His stomach ached fiercely, and he felt hot, as though he had a fever.
“Mum!” He called down the hall, feeling cold sweat break out on his forehead. He wondered if it was the fever, or fear. “I don’t feel so good.”
His mother took his temperature, brought him breakfast in bed and fussed him while he ate.
“Too much candy,” was her diagnosis. “Or a tummy-bug. A couple of days of rest and you’ll be fine.”
Johnny didn’t think so, but he dutifully swallowed the liquid Panadol she offered and snuggled down for a bit more rest. He couldn’t really think of a good way to tell her that she might come in that afternoon to find him in Johnny-pieces. Once again he thought miserably about what it would be like to explode. Would it hurt? Probably.
Johnny dozed all morning, and after a soothing lunch of ham rolls and salad he felt a little better. Perhaps he wouldn’t explode today, but he was certain there could be little time left. Since he was sick, his Mum let him watch cartoons in the lounge, with pillows and blankets on the sofa. For a while, Johnny allowed himself to be distracted. Then, in the lemon-sour hour between three and four, he had another thought that made him call out for his mother immediately. What if he didn’t explode? What if, instead, branches grew out of his sides and leaves grew on his head, and he became a fruit tree himself? What if his mother came in in the morning to find a Johnny-tree rooted to the spot on his bed, growing Johnny-apples and Johnny-pears? What if she didn’t recognize him, and his dad chopped him up for firewood? Johnny shuddered. It was too terrible to think about.
Johnny’s mother said he looked as though he was having a relapse.
“If this keeps up we’ll have to take you to the doctor,” she told him.
“No!” Johnny cried, thinking about the x-ray. “I don’t want to go to the doctor! Please don’t make me go!”
His mother gave him a strange look.
“You like Doctor Phelps,” she said reasonably. “Why all the fuss?”
“I don’t want him to do an x-ray,” Johnny mumbled.
“What was that?”
“Because he’ll do an x-ray and then I’ll know and he’ll tell me when I’m going to explode!”
Johnny’s mother brushed his fringe back and felt his forehead.
“You’re not delirious.” she said thoughtfully. “What are you talking about, Johnny?”
Miserable, Johnny told her the whole story, all about Max and the seeds and his worries about his tummy.
“And then he said, it’ll grow so big that you explode!” he finished. “So it’s only a matter of time...”
Johnny’s mother had a very strange expression on her face. Her lips were pressed tightly together, while the edges were slowly curling upwards as though drawn skyward by an irresistible force. She looked, thought Johnny, as though she were trying not to laugh. But it wasn’t funny. He was going to explode into a billion tiny fragments! She must be trying not to cry instead.
After a moment, she seemed to get her face under control.
“Johnny,” she said gently. “I’m afraid your friend Max has some rather imaginative ideas about seeds...”
* * * * *
By Tuesday, Johnny was well enough to go back to school. He happily ate his fruit for breakfast, and at lunchtime he sat down next to Max once more and bit into a nectarine. This time, Max was eating roast beef sandwiches.
“Hi Max,” Johnny said cheerfully. Max grunted. This time Johnny was sure he didn’t have his mouth full, but he didn’t care. “You were wrong about the seeds.”
He waited for some kind of response, but Max was silent.
“They’re not dangerous,” Johnny went on. “My Mum told me. Fruit does have seeds, but when you swallow them they go down into your stomach and the stomach acid dissolves them. They can’t grow because there’s no water, or light, and nothing to sink their roots into. So you see,” he repeated. “You were wrong.”
Max chewed in what appeared to be a pensive manner. Finally, he said;
“Cool. Acid.”
Johnny finished his nectarine and threw away the seed. He offered Max a plum as he picked up a slice of cold pizza and tore it in half.
“Want some?” He asked.
Max took the fruit.
“Sure,” he said. Then he grinned. “Wait till you hear what they really put in pizza sauce!”
) I loved it. I won't even start on the typo's and capitalizations coz this is just too cute! Keep it up! ;D
