Unfortunately; Fortunately

Fortunately, you decide to become a vegetarian couch.

Unfortunately, scientists find out about you, and take you to a lab to figure out if they can use you as a weapon.

Fortunately, you transform into a non-human-eating human ^u^

Unfortunately, the transformation puts you into a coma.
(there should be a book made about this page)

(I know, right! ^u^)
Fortunately, you soon recover and wake up a weekk later in better shape than ever ^u^

Unfortuantely then a bunch of ancient human-eating humans track you down and murder you for not joining their side and turning into a non-human-eating human instead of one of them.

Fortunately, You come back (yet again) and this time have a crack at a better life ^u^

Unfortunately, your evil twin comes back too.

Fortunately, you're your parents' favorite.

Unfortunately, you're Batman ^^ we all know what that means ^u^

Fortunately, you get the chance to redesign your wardrobe.

Unfortunately, Robin does not ^^

Fortunately, your evil twin immolates Robin.

Unfortunately, there's a sequel ^u^

Fortunately, we're not required to watch it.