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Red Line Reviews



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53 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 53
Sun Jul 20, 2008 6:03 pm
Avens Dolor says...



Hello all!

I love reviewing, but I when I scan the forums I'm always terrified that I'll give a tough critique to someone who isn't quite ready for it.

When I give someone an edit, I look at their work as I would look at my own. I'm also a perfectionist. And have a dry sense of humor. These things don't always mix well.

But for those who want a tough, deep critique, I'm ready and willing!

I will read just about anything, but I give priority to (in this order):
+ Fantasy
+ Literary-esque Fiction
+ Action/Adventure
I will review poetry if you're really desperate, but it's not my best area.

For examples of my reviews, see my previous crits:
Invisible Man (Prologue)
Shadowplay (Excerpt)
The Protectors of Gaia

I don't ask for much in return. Since I don't post my own work online, point donations, though much appreciated, are not entirely necessary. It would be nice of you to check out my blog and leave a comment, though!

So. Any takers?

Avens
Last edited by Avens Dolor on Tue Jul 29, 2008 2:25 am, edited 1 time in total.





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52 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 52
Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:16 am
Jamie_rocks says...



Ooh, I'm the first one! I just posted this, and I'm looking for a harsh critique. (It's supernaural though, I hope you don't mind). Especially I want to know if my dialog is realistic and not choppy.

topic33373.html

P.S. Sorry, it's kind of long.
Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms should be a convenience store, not a government agency.





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53 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 53
Tue Jul 22, 2008 11:08 am
Avens Dolor says...



Hi Jamie!

Supernatural is always fun! I'll get right on it. I should finish some time this evening.

Avens





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53 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 53




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1176 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 1979
Reviews: 1176
Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:50 pm
Twit says...



topic29564.html

If you could do all of this, I'd really like it. And please, be as harsh and possible. :D Scroll down until you get to the Gandhi quote on the bit called Drych-ddelwedd and carry on from there.
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this."


#TNT





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47 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 47
Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:07 pm
ProfessorRabbit says...



May I get a critique on this piece, please?

Thanatos
Frylock, please, no books! I can't read; I'm not a loser!
-Master Shake





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713 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 7740
Reviews: 713
Sat Jul 26, 2008 5:42 pm
BigBadBear says...



Scarlet

I could use help a perfectionist's help on this!
Just write -- the rest of life will follow.

Would love help on this.





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53 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 53
Tue Jul 29, 2008 2:27 am
Avens Dolor says...



My mailbox flipped out and I didn't even realize that these requests were here! I'll get to them first thing tomorrow morning!

Avens





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438 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2999
Reviews: 438
Wed Aug 06, 2008 5:48 pm
JFW1415 says...



An extremely edited version: Out of Focus

Be harsh?

Thanks so much! Let me know when I can return the favor.

~JFW1415





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53 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 53
Fri Aug 08, 2008 11:53 pm
Avens Dolor says...



[s]I'll be getting right on to Out of Focus (likely will work on it tomorrow evening) and I've done everything up to that point.[/s]

Done!

I'm all caught up now. Just a note--I reserve the right to take up to a week before I post any review under normal circumstances. There are times when it may be longer (I will let you know if this is the case), and often it'll be a much shorter wait than that, but it's best that I do a critique when I feel up to it and am not feeling rushed. More fun for me that way, and more fair to you authors!

Avens





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52 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 52
Sun Aug 10, 2008 7:24 am
Jamie_rocks says...



I'm back. The review on my first piece was awesome. Can you help be out again? Rip it to shreds please.

topic31712.html
Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms should be a convenience store, not a government agency.





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53 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 53
Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:05 pm
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Avens Dolor says...



Jamie_rocks wrote:I'm back. The review on my first piece was awesome. Can you help be out again? Rip it to shreds please.

topic31712.html


I'd be delighted to! Unfortunately, my life is painfully busy right now, so I won't be able to get to it until Sunday night (when I'll be brought to a standstill by waiting in an airport all night). But I'm looking forward to it!

Avens





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438 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2999
Reviews: 438
Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:58 pm
JFW1415 says...



All There Is

Let's see how much you kill something that isn't as edited as my previous story. xD

Thanks so much!

~JFW1415





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16 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 16
Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:21 pm
xxfourthelement says...



I would love a rip-to-shreds review.

post415975.html

Action/Adventure/Sci-fi novel chapter. There are two chapters before it, but this could stand alone if you're busy or feeling too lazy to check out the others. :D
"...I laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Sometimes I can stop laughing before people start edging away and talking about soothing drinks." - Lord Raould of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak

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53 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 53
Thu Aug 28, 2008 5:19 am
Avens Dolor says...



[s]Will get on these soon! School just started today and the RNC is in St Paul so things are craaaazy.

Bear with me, please![/s]

Done!

Avens








Act in the valley so that you need not fear those who stand on the hill.
— Danish proverb