Young Writers Society

Okay, here's one that badly needs to be shredded. Sorry, it's kind of long. I'm mainly worried about dialog, character development, and if you think it's too rushed.

topic33373.html

Thanks in advance, and I'm still working on reviewing the Canaby Sisters. Sorry it's taking so long.

P.S. Really, don't be afraid to shred it. Harshness is good.
Is there anything you're asking for in return?

nothing in return, thanks

i'm done and it was very interesting

next please

Murder & Investigation 1 - Before the Murder

Murder & Investigation 2 - Discovery of the Murder

Eh, sorry for the lame titles. The first one has like a bajallion critiques, but the last one has none. Thank you so much.

-Jared

done jared, but i only did the second because you said the first had a lot of reviews and whatever i said would have been redundant. I did read it though and it was good,

next please

---Jon---

Jon, my friend, I have something for you to review!

Thanatos

The first one has like a bajallion critiques, but the last one has none.

which is why I only critiqued the second one, I did read the first one and i liked it other than the slang-ish chat talk

next please

---Jon---

next please

hey i just recently put a poem on here and i need more thoughts on it here's the link:
post402277.html#402277
thank you for your time

done, it was great!

next please

*pokes head in nervously*

Hi there! If you're not too busy, would you mind taking a look at Land of Sky, Land of Rain?

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic9291.html

That link is for chapter one, feel free to review as many chapters as you like. I know it would be unreasonable for me to ask for you to read all of them, though I really think my later chapters are the ones most in need of help-- there are a lot of reviews for the first three chapters, not so many after that.

Please feel free to tear them apart, but don't be too harsh... I know they suck. XD *is kinda scared*

Hello! Me and Mr.DigitalKid would really appreciate it if you reviwed this short piece! There's a question at the bottom of the thread that we really need to be answered!

topic34683.html


Thanks!

Swottie--- done

Zankoku -- I need to know which ones you want me to do other than one, but in the mean time i will do the first chapter!

Photography
Will you reveiw?

topic34442.html

thanks in advance- Tiffany

Rascalover-- done

Next please, although i might not get to it right away, I start school tommorrow!

Leave them here and I'll get to them!

---Jon---

Hiii!
I hae two pieces for you..
The first one is a poem and the second one is a chapter in the action forum..

post421027.html#421027

topic34301.html

Thanks in advance