Young Writers Society

(Haha kinda figured this was gonna hurt her feelings haha)

Ky wiped her face, focusing on quelling her emotions. She didn’t deserve to wallow in self-pity and let herself get her feelings hurt. They were quite right. About all of it.

Though dread settled in the pit of her stomach at the thought of being forced to start training soon. And she knew fully well that that’s what that meant. They were going to decide it was good for her and not let her wait for Ka’Nor’s letter. She’d need to come up with a better excuse.

Although it was nice that Gaius planned on pairing her with Bay. That made her rest easier in the fact the she was leaning towards him, if she had to pick. He’d just picked for her and had no idea. Perhaps this eavesdropping was good for her after all.

They reached the third floor and started toward the infirmary.
"I'm thinking I ought to write to Tomhas and ask him what to do," Gaius mused. "He's had teenagers before and he is her father, after all. He's known her longer."
"What he tells you probably won't be something you want or are able to do," Sara pointed out. "I know you two are close, Gaius, but look at how different you are. You both have strategies that work and don't work. Stick with what you know in this case, alright? Look what happened when you tried Tomhas's route."
"I expect it would have gone the same way if Tomhas had said that to her," he murmured. "It was a foolish strategy."
"It has some merit," Sara disagreed. "It just wasn't....delivered properly."

(Wait what floor is the infirmary on? I thought it was on the third lol)

(Scheisse you're right)

(Haha no worries — I just figured Ky would have literally forced herself to crawl up enough steps to get out of their path before they came haha)

Pratik appeared at the top of the stairs a few moments later, well after the voices of the others had faded. He looked at Ky in concern. She looked terrible. What had happened? Had she been sitting here ever since she’d run out from breakfast? She looked even worse now.

“Ky!” he slowly started down the stairs, careful to be non-threatening. Aware of his body language. And her justifiable uneasiness around him that had faded while Zander was here, but hadn’t disappeared entirely.

Her gaze snapped up, panicked.

He put his palms up. Asking if she was okay was useless — she clearly wasn’t. And yet he needed to reassure her she wasn’t in danger. “You’re okay. You’re safe. It’s okay.”

(Pratik knowing how to handle scared Ky versus Gaius just tripping over his own feet trying not to talk to her)

Sara knocked on the door as they reached in the infirmary, and Sera opened the door. Rickard had fled to the library.
"I've got the poppy ready," she said. "Set him down over there." Bay brought Gaius to the bed she pointed to. "What are you at, Gaius?"
"Seven and a half," he said grimly. She handed him a small wooden cup of the poppy milk, then sat down to check his leg.
"We really ought to discuss amputation again," she said quietly after a few moments. "How many days in a row have you been in this much pain now?"
"We're not cutting it off," Gaius snapped.
"You've said you'd have preferred it multiple times," Sera reminded him. "A sophisticated prosthetic could be brought in from the East with ease, Gaius. The damage here is getting worse the more you walk on it." She laid a hand on his shin, and Gaius jerked back with a hiss. "See, the bones are grinding each other smaller and smaller over the years, and interfering with your muscle function. You're not being supported by anything but shards at this point."
"I'm not getting it amputated," Gaius said shakily, gritting his teeth.

(Haha the magic of Pratik being a surprisingly empathetic mercenary vs Gaius with the emotional intelligence of a potato)

“I-I-I—“ Had he watched her eavesdropping? It wasn’t her fault. Gods, it was her fault. Was he going to tell them? Of course he was. It was something his employer deserved to know. His loyalty was to money. And Gaius had the money. “I didn’t mean - I…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself.” Pratik slowly walked down the stairs and sat down on one of the lower ones, but left a fair bit of space between them. He folded his arms in his lap, letting his shoulders round a bit as he relaxed. She needed a friend, not a mercenary. “You’re going through a lot. It’s okay to be upset. I don’t mind.”

“Yes they do.” A fresh wave of tears started and she wiped them away angrily, humiliated. Aleth would have skinned her alive for blubbering in front of Pratik.

“I don’t think that’s true,” Pratik said gently. “That seems like something an asshole internal monologue would say, just to upset you… but even if it’s true of them, I don’t mind. Promise.”

(Potatoes have more emotional intelligence than Gaius)

"You need to think about the consequences if you don't," Sera told him, and moved her hand up to just above the knee. "The bone up here is intact and healed into a sort of stump already, if you can feel it there. It would be a simple enough procedure--"
"I said no." He tried to get his leg out from under her hand but ended up jostling it badly enough that tears sprang to his eyes. "Gods...please. I'm not losing my leg."
"Why?" Sera asked bluntly. "What are you gaining from hanging onto it?"
"I'm not risking infection, for one thing," he said.
"And?"
Gaius was silent.

(Hahaha)

“I just keep messing everything up,” she sobbed. “I don’t mean to be like this. I promise. I’m trying not to, to…” she gestured at herself vaguely. “I upset him all the time. All. The. Time. I just make him mad all the time and I yelled at him when we were coming here and he was mad at me and he’s mad at me now and I-I didn’t mean. I don’t know why he doesn’t like me. I’m trying so hard.”

“I know you are,” Pratik said softly and nodded. “You’re trying so hard… harder than me, even.”

She looked at him skeptically. He had exactly the reputation he wanted to have. Presented himself perfectly. All the time. “You don’t have to.”

“Don’t I?” He raised an eyebrow. He didn’t like being vulnerable. But. Well. What harm could a teenage girl do to his reputation? He’d just lie about it if she tried. And she wouldn’t. Ky knew how to keep her mouth shut. And he clearly needed to know she wasn’t alone. “All this? A complete act. I’m a showman at heart, and it keeps me from having to have people know how I feel… but my mask breaks sometimes, too. I shouted at Gaius the first night I was here. As loud as I could. Said far worse things to him than you did, I’m certain.”

Ky gaped at him.

Sera watched him for a moment longer, then looked to Sara. "This isn't the end of this conversation. Please talk to him. Gaius, as your apothecary and medical advisor I'm strongly recommending you consider amputation. That's all I can really say."
Gaius downed the poppy milk and rested his head against the pillow. "Then don't say it. Leave me be, please; I want to rest. All of you."
Sera dipped her head and backed off, retreating into her office. Bay left with a nod to Sara, and Sara bent down to kiss Gaius's forehead.
"You're sure you don't want me to stay?" she asked.
"The little ones need looking after," he replied wearily. "Can't expect a nurse to watch them every day and every night."

“Why?” Ky asked incredulously.

“He pissed me off.” He shrugged. “Took something very personal to me. I understand why he did it, mind you. I made no attempts to hide what I am — which could very easily be a threat to him, if I wanted to be — so he needed to make sure my secrets wouldn’t hurt him. He didn’t know me at that point to know I don’t leave a paper trail.”

He was silent a moment, trying to distill his point.

“He apologized to me. Twice. I didn't apologize — and I won’t be. But I’ve what can very loosely be considered forgiven him and we’ve put it behind us and we’re fine now… the point I’m trying to make, is that Gaius is a big boy. He doesn’t fear conflict. And I guarantee you he’s heard far worse than whatever you said to him. Besides, I’m sure if you yelled at him, then he most certainly deserved it. It’s very hard to upset you.”

Ky snorted with a mirthless laugh, wiping her face. Every little thing upset her. “It’s really not.”

“Mm,” Pratik hummed for a moment, looking at her thoughtfully. “I suppose I can’t speak to how you feel. But it’s very hard to get you to shout, I can say that much. You’re one of the mildest people I’ve met, and I’ve met a lot of people, Ky. I’m sure if you shouted it was for a good reason. And I’m equally sure you fell all over yourself apologizing, whether it was your fault or not, right?”

“…yeah.”

Sara nodded reluctantly and straightened. "Get some sleep. I know you had a hard night last night." Gaius dipped his head and closed his eyes, already feeling the effects of the poppy working on him.
"I will," he sighed. "Have you seen to Ky?"
"Of course."
"Good."

“Anyhow. I don’t know whether you’re looking for advice or comfort or if I’m bothering you,” Pratik said. “But. Well. I’m here. And I’m a low pressure vent, you know? You’ve no need to please me. I won’t hurt you — I promise, and you know I never break a promise — no matter what you do or don’t do or say. And it’s nearly impossible to hurt my feelings.”

“…unless you take something personal from you,” she risked with a very small smile.

Pratik grinned, glad she was joking. That meant he was making progress. “Not to worry — I’ve got that under lock and key these days.”

Sara gave him a last look, then departed. Gaius let out a breath, wiping at his face. Sleeping seemed easy right now; maybe he'd give it a try. His eyelids were heavy anyway and he certainly wasn't going anywhere for the next few hours. He tried to clear his mind, letting himself sink deeper into the pillow.

Ky smiled a bit more, happy that her joke was well-received. Pratik was always so kind to her. She hesitated, smile fading a bit. “…you said I can have advice?”

“Any that I’ve got to give,” he confirmed with a nod. “Whatcha got?”

“How do I stop upsetting him?”

“Mm…” Pratik considered for a moment. “I don’t think you upset him as much as you think you do.”

Ky looked at him skeptically.

“I’m telling the truth,” he said. “I pretend to be emotionless — I feel a sort of smug satisfaction in watching people get progressively more frustrated as they attempt to get to me, and can’t. It’s fun to be a bratty asshole. And people can’t do shit about it. About me… and I think he’s the same, but opposite. He pretends to be an ice sculpture to ensure no one can apply enough heat to him to make him crack. Same thing, though.”

Ky hadn’t really thought of it in those terms before. She supposed it made sense. She also had a mask. Did everyone?

“Anyhow. It’s his responsibility to tell you if he’s upset with you. He’s an adult. If he wants to be pissy with you and not tell you so you can reconcile, then that’s on him, not you. If he doesn’t say he’s upset with you, I’d just assume he’s not — ice and all.”