Young Writers Society

James wasn't sure if what he was feeling was euphoria. After the events of the last four days, he felt like he'd been wrung dry of every emotion possible. At least, until Evaline's fever broke and she announced that she was starting to feel again.

Then it was like it all came rushing back without warning. It felt like he was actually talking to the Evaline he once knew again, even if she was older, and there were things that had changed. He felt like he was actually seeing her again, and she was seeing him too, and he didn't know if he was supposed to be terrified or happy, because Evaline couldn't seem to figure that out either.

Still, he didn't know how to ride the wave of emotions out. It almost didn't feel real - not in the way that it was a dream, or like he was actually asleep - but like it was too good to be true. And he knew that it wasn't going to be as simple as one conversation.

They still had months ahead of them. They would be traveling through the dangers of the ungoverned lands. They would have to interact with the others. It wasn't going to be like how it was on Nye, where most of the time, they really only had to worry about themselves, or people who might've been after him.

And maybe all of the uncertainty hinged on that: things were different, even if the feelings were coming back again. Even if he felt that they both knew the feelings were still there, and now they knew that it was mutual, but it was like they were too afraid to ruin the fragile bridge that was strung between them.

Were they afraid of each other? Or were they afraid of themselves?

Maybe it was both.

He knew they were both afraid of getting hurt again... and afraid of saying goodbye. Afraid of the note that neither of them wanted to address, because they didn't know if it would force him to leave again or not.

There were so many things they didn't know, but James just wanted to enjoy this small victory, though calling it such felt strange. Because it wasn't like he won anything. There was no argument. They'd simply... been able to talk. Really talk, without either of them running away from it, even if they did talk in metaphors. At least it was a start. He just wished he knew what it was the start of.

James and Evaline were able to get to the riverside in about 30 minutes, riding on Elliot. Evaline was finally able to hold herself up in the saddle, and she seemed to have dramatically recovered since her three-day nap. James was glad for it though. Glad that she was better, but also relieved, because it did make life a little easier.

The truth was, he was in pain, but he didn't really show it. Of course everything hurt. He felt like a walking bruise. The thing was, it was far from his first time feeling like this, so he knew how to push through it. That didn't mean that it didn't hurt, it only meant that he had a high tolerance for it.

Of course, it didn't help that he had barely slept in three days either, so his body hadn't really had any time to rest or heal.

By the time they slowed to a stop at the riverside, they both hopped off the saddle and James led Elliot towards the nearest tree so that he could tie him up. Evaline dug around the saddlebag while he did that.

"I hope you didn't get used to warm baths, or were spoiled by the shower," she said as she pulled out his bar of soap from Terra, protected by a container.

James let out a short laugh.

"I don't know if I could get used to the shower," he said as he pulled the knot on Elliot's lead tight around a tree. "I couldn't even figure out how to turn that thing off."

Evaline stared at him for a second before her eyes softed into a small laugh as she dug through his bag again, pulling out spare clothes.

"You mean you walked away with the showerhead still running?" she said. "Did anyone ever turn it off?"

James lifted up his hands. "I don't know, and I didn't ask."

"That whole experience was so bizarre," she mused. "I hope those pictures don't come back to haunt us."

"I really hope not," James muttered, walking up beside her and digging into the saddlebag to pull out a pair of clothes for himself.

While he did that, she handed him one of the blankets, presumably so they had a dry, clean spot to sit when they finished bathing.

"I was thinking, though," she started slowly. "Obviously Oliver or someone else tipped Gaea about you. And I was thinking they'd recognize you from the tournament, or from pictures. I'm unsure. We just have to be more careful."

James found his eyes drifting to the sword that hung over the horn of the saddle.

"Trust me," he said. "I don't think I want to stand in front of a camera ever again."

"Luckily, I don't plan on us visiting another city," Evaline said as she closed up the bag with her things propped up by her arm. "Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know where to go. We're at the edges of the safe zone now, and all cities in the ungoverned lands are uncharted... if there are even cities at all."

"Then I guess I'll just have to live with my short-lived fame," James said in mock disappointment. He bunched the blanket and clothes up in his arms and turned towards the river.

Evaline turned towards him and smiled as she started to walk beside him. "Lucky me," she said. "I'm the only one who got to see you after your fame. I guess that makes me your number one fan."

James briefly looked over at Evaline, but the moment he met her eyes, he felt his face start to burn a little, so he looked away with a little laugh.

"Yeah," he said. "The Gaea clan doesn't count."

Evaline scoffed. "They put you into a prison and beat you," she said. "Not very appropriate behavior for a fan."

"Maybe characteristic of a deranged, unhealthily obsessed fan," James said, attempting at a joke, but he could still feel his face burning, and he was hoping it would stop.

Evaline lingered her gaze on him for a moment that felt too long to be comfortable, and he didn't know if she noticed him blushing or if she was looking at the injuries he sustained from Gaea. Possibly both.

"I know the sectors are not ideal," she said. "But back then, tribes like Gaea ruled the lands. The sectors are not a perfect or even a good system, but... at least it's unlikely we will come across another clan like them again."

"That's good," James said a little too quickly as he stopped a few short feet from the water, looking in. He paused and tucked his extra clothes under his arm and then laid the blanket down on the ground, over what looked like a softer area mixed with dirt and sand. He tossed his clothes on top of it.

Evaline followed his lead, laying her blanket a couple feet away from his and then placing her clothes on top. She stood up again, glancing between him and the river. She cleared her throat.

"You wouldn't be uncomfortable if we went in at least partially clothed, would you?" she asked casually.

James paused, looking out at the river, and then down at his feet.

It didn't really make sense for him to say no. She'd already seen him in the fights, so it wasn't like there was much more for him to hide anymore.

"That's fine," he said just as casually as he sat down on the edge of the blanket, taking off his shoes and socks.

Evaline watched him for a second before following his actions, taking off her own shoes and socks.

"Okay," she said. "But if you're uncomfortable at all with anything, you can tell me. It's okay."

"It's..." James started with a weak laugh. He set his shoes and socks on the edge of the blanket, along with his jacket. "I'm more worried about the water being cold, honestly."

"The water is actually not as cold as you think," she said as she set her shoes aside and stood up. "It's colder in the spring when the snow from the mountains melt into the river. But, it doesn't mean it's not cold right now, especially since it's technically winter already."

As she talked, it looked like she was starting to undress, but James averted his gaze. He turned his attention to himself, and he slowly took off his layers. He had two thin shirts under a flannel button-up, and he carefully laid them all aside. The air wasn't freezing, but with all of his layers gone, he could feel the slight chill, and it almost seemed to exasterbate the achiness of all of his bruises.

He didn't like what he saw when he looked down at himself. His arm was still bandaged around the burn, and his abdomen was all black and blue from where he was both kicked and strangled by vines. He could only assume the odd, vine-sourced bruises wrapped all around his body, and especially down his legs. That, and it was hard to tell which bruises were from the fight or from torture. He didn't know if it really mattered, either.

He had another layer under his pants for warmth, so he took off his pants, and the thermal layer, until he was only in his boxers.

Now, he was cold.

Evaline seemed to undress faster than he did, because she was already walking towards the water, and he could hear her splash in. It seemed that she dunked in and then reemerged after a second or two.

"C-Can you bring the soap?" she said, shiver in her voice. Obviously the water was cold and she was just trying to encourage him. "It's -- on my blanket."

James nodded, glancing over at her. The water was up to her chest, but he could see that she was hugging herself, maybe to keep warm. Her hair was already wet and clinging to her face and neck.

He hurried to grab the soap off her blanket and then briskly walked up to the water's edge, and hurried in. When the water came up to his waist, he really started to feel the biting cold, and his shoulders tensed up to his sides, but he forced himself to dip down until the water was up to his chest.

"N-not th-that cold," he shivered, paddling over to Evaline. "Huh?"

Evaline weakly laughed and shook her head. "N...No," she said.

He stuck his hand out of the water, offering her the bar of soap, which she graciously took.

"Y-you first," he said before dunking his head underwater. He came back up and leaned his head back so his hair didn't flop in his face.

She didn't seem to fight it and, when he returned to the surface, he saw her already furiously scrubbing her hair, washing up at lightning speed so that neither of them had to stay in the water too long. She took about a minute to lather the soap on her hair and skin, stepping further back so that she didn't have to scrub underwater. When she finished, she hurriedly splashed back to his side and wordlessly offered the soap back to him.

James nodded, feeling his teeth starting to clatter against each other, and he got to work just as quickly, hurrying to scrub his hair and his skin. He bit back the discomfort of pressing up against the bruises, and the burns, but eventually, the cold seemed to numb everything to a dull ache anyway.

Evaline had already begun leaving the water the moment she passed the soap to him, and she had hurried back to where her blanket was. He noticed that, instead of sitting on top of it to dry off, she rolled into it so it wrapped around her body, and then sat as she waited for him to come up.

James quickly rinsed his hair one more time before he hurried out back to his blanket. He set the bar of soap on a nearby rock and then shoved his shoes and clothes off the blanket so that he could wrap it around himself, curling up and trying not to shiver too much.

"We probably... look ridiculous," Evaline said in a low voice after a stretch of silence. It sounded like she was trying hard to talk in a steady, non-shivering tone.

"At least E-Elliot's the only one here to judge us," James said, starting to rub his legs to make them warm, and then deciding not to, because it just hurt.

"Do you t-think... we should make... a fire?" she asked.

"M-maybe," James said through chattering teeth. "Yes. Okay."

He got to his feet, still with the blanket wrapped around him, and he started digging a hole in the dirt with his feet. Evaline got up and started grabbing some wood, snapping fallen branches into smaller pieces. James finished digging with his feet and then hurried over to Elliot, digging into their back and pulling out the matchbox and some dried leaves he kept as a fire-starter. When he got back to the pit he'd dug, Evaline had already stacked the branches, and James stuck the leaves underneath, lighting a match.

He was glad it wasn't a windy day. Just a cold one, even when it was sunny.

The match caught flame, and the flame caught on the leaves, and James blew on it several times before the flame finally started catching on the wood. Evaline sat down in front of the fire with her blanket still wrapped snugly around her, covering half of her face.

James had his blanket draped over his lower half while he knelt by the fire, breathing on it, but the moment he was confident that the fire could feed itself, he pulled the blanket tightly around his shoulders and scooted next to Evaline so he sat with her in front of the fire. He tried to bring the blanket around himself as tightly as he could.

"I don't think I'd survive winters in Nye," she commented after a stretch of silence. Her words were partly muffled by the blanket covering her mouth.

"Typically, in the winter," James said. "We actually never take full-submersion baths. We'll wash ourselves down with a wet cloth, but we don't leap into cold bodies of water. That would be..."

He hesitated on the word suicide, like he tripped over it in his brain.

"...Stupid," he said instead.

Evaline slowly turned to face him, sitting up straighter as her damp hair still clung to her face.

"Why didn't you say that before we went in?" she huffed.

James met her eyes for a moment and stared back at her blankly, and then he started to laugh, almost deliriously.

She had a point.

He leaned forward, burying his face in his blanket for a moment as he patted his wet hair in an attempt to make it less so, and then he looked back up at Evaline.

"I don't know," he said with laughter still in his voice. "I don't think I was thinking at all."

She paused for a moment before turning back towards the fire. "Well, that's okay," she said. "No more jumping into bodies of water for us. For at least a few more months, anyways."

"Yes," James agreed, bringing the blanket back up to his chin. "Not until winter is over."

Another silence passed as they de-thawed in front of the fire, and Evaline finally brought the blanket down so it didn't cover her head. She scooted a little closer to the fire, reaching out with both hands so she could feel the warmth.

"It's weird," she suddenly said, breaking the silence. "It's weird having a fire in the daylight."

"Weirder that there's not snow around," James commented.

"Surely you've had winters without snow, though. Right?" she said as she glanced at him.

"Only in the desert, really," James said. "Or... out at sea, I guess."

"That's right," she said as she dropped her arms to bring back under the blanket. "You sailed the seas."

"A few years ago, now," he said. "But yes."

"What was that like?" she asked.

"It was... new, at first," he said. "I'd never been sailing in my life, so I had to learn it all in the moment. It was an interesting time, but I don't know that I'd want to be a sailor all my life. The seas are vast and unforgiving, and I think I much prefer being on solid land."

Evaline hummed. "Did you get sea sick?" she asked.

"For the first month, yes," he said. "Off and on. But your body gets used to it eventually. It takes a moment to get your 'sea legs,' as they call it. Since boats are always rocking with the movement of the sea, you're never on still ground when on a boat."

"Being a sailor doesn't sound very exciting," she said. "How long were you on the seas?"

"About six months," James said. He didn't know the exact answer, but that was as exact as he could get.

"That's a long time. Did you do it to travel from one place to another?"

"We did make stops at different ports," James answered. "Usually to trade and restock on supplies."

"What made you realize that you preferred the land over the sea?" she asked. "After six months?"

James paused for a moment, staring into the fire. He hugged himself a little tighter, and looked over to the river, and its quiet flowing water.

He took in a deep breath.

"I didn't really have a choice," he said, pausing for a moment to look down again, but this time at the ground.

"I've... told this story. Once."

On the beach, before Adina was almost taken. Before they almost lost her.

"It felt like a clam opening up, and then snapping shut again, just before anyone could nab the pearl inside."

For a moment, he could imagine the shell in his hands that he'd played with. It had been such a small, sensory toy. It had kept him from breaking. From actually opening up.

"It was soon after it, too. I don't know if you remember Brett. But I think... he was one of my few and only friends I ever tried to talk to about my life. Just a little. But I had been too afraid to say anything more, back then. I was afraid of getting attached, so I kept him at a distance. I think he knew that, but..."

James wasn't sure where he was going with this. Maybe he was stalling. Maybe he was just reminiscing.

"I once told him that no one really wanted to be friends with someone they didn't know. At the time, both of us understood that I was telling him I didn't want to tell him my story, and I didn't want to open up, but I still wanted him to be my friend. He was very kind, and told me he would be my friend anyway. Even if I was like a turtle locked in its shell."

He paused again, briefly glancing over at Evaline, but unable to hold her gaze.

"I guess what I mean to say is, that was the last time I truthfully told anyone about... anything. Anything that's happened to me, really. And that was over three years ago. So this is... weird. Having to put it into words again."

And having to think about it again.

Evaline was giving him her full attention, eyes on him while she patiently finished to hear all he wanted say.

"I understand," she said gently. "It takes courage to be honest and vulnerable. Brett sounds like a good friend, and I hope I can match his patience, because of course I'd still be here for you, whether you want to share anything or not. And I don't mind waiting, even if it takes a long time, or even if you don't want to share at all. I understand."

James looked over to Evaline with a small, soft smile, and he scooted a little closer to the fire, wanting its warmth to seep through the blanket faster.

"I do," he said quietly. "I do want to share."

He paused, though, curling up his blanket just a little tighter.

"I think it's just hard not to tell the story like it's someone else's. It's easy if I almost pretend like it's not real, or like it was just a story. It's like I keep forgetting it actually happened when I try to tell it. I have to, like... remove myself from it. Otherwise, I can never get through it. Talking about it, I mean."

Evaline was quiet for a moment. "Would it help if you held my hand?" she asked, then quickly talked afterwards. "I know what it's like to be stuck in your own head, so maybe it would help bring you to reality. To telling the full story. And if it gets too hard, it's okay if you squeeze my hand to let me know. You don't have to say anything. I'd understand."

James slowly turned his head just enough to look at Evaline. He'd curled forward so that the blanket came up to his mouth, and he thought about the possibility of moving again. Even if he was cold.

He could do it, he just didn't know if it would help. Maybe it didn't matter, because it was going to be hard no matter what. At least Evaline's suggestion made sense, even if it almost made him feel like a child, because she was giving him an out where he didn't even have to use words.

But maybe that was okay.

"I could... try that," he said softly, hesitantly peeking his hand out of his blanket as he inched closer to Evaline, quietly offering it to her.

Evaline wordlessly drew her own hand out from under the blanket and then took his hand, letting it drop next to her knees.

"I'm listening," she said gently.

"Well... I don't know if it's a very long story," James began softly.

"I'd still listen whether it's long or short," she said.

James nodded, and he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath.

"Before I made it to the isles, I wasn't very well. Physically," James started. "I was low on money, and supplies. I was starting from scratch again, but I didn't know where to go. By chance, I ended up meeting a man named Leo. I was turned away from a small soup shack on a rainy day because I couldn't pay, and Leo was there and paid for a meal for me. He didn't know who I was at the time."

He paused, not knowing if he had the energy to go into detail.

"We got to talking. He seemed to like me, and he could tell I was in a rough spot. Spontaneously, he offered me a place on his ship. He was a captain."

"At the time, I went by the name Thomas. It was what everyone on the ship knew me by. I was given a few more condescending nicknames, but it wasn't for me being a wanted man. It was because I had never been on a ship in my life, and Leo was having to teach me everything, along with the rest of the crew."

He paused again, but this time glanced at Evaline, unsure if she had anything to say. Evaline was watching him attentively, but she seemed to want to hear everything he wanted to say first before saying anything.

"Thing went by without much trouble for the first few weeks," James continued slowly. "The crew liked me well enough at first, but over time, I unintentionally became Leo's favorite. In some ways, though, I brought it upon myself. I was going out of my way to earn his favor, to the extent of exaggerating certain things about myself to his liking. He was well-read, and so was I, which couldn't be said of the rest of his crew, so he often liked to talk to me, and on occasion, would pull me away from work on the ship. It was understandable and correct that the other shipmates considered me spoiled, because I was, in a way."

"Their gradually growing resentment of my presence on the ship framed the context of the following events... but before I get to that, I have to explain more of what Leo was like."

"There was one very important thing about Leo that I learned early on, and it was that he had an unhealthy obsession with sea monsters, to the point of sometimes endangering his crew. His crew, of course, had their own reasons for staying. Some of them wanted adventure. Some wanted the thrill of the discovery. Some just wanted to run into danger for the hell of it. Everyone's reasons were their own. But I hadn't quite realized what I'd signed up for at first. Leo's obsession seemed to slowly unfold to the point of desperate delusion."

"See, in Nye, there's a old, great myth about a sea serpent called the Laokin, and it's considered to be the most dangerous but also the most valuable creature on Nye because each of its scales is made of pure gold. It was considered to be massive. With a face half the length of a ship, and miles of scales wrapping around its body."

"But the thing was, Leo wasn't in it for the money. I'm not sure if he was even in it for the fame. It almost seemed like he had a vendetta against this creature that he'd never seen before, and he was determined to be the one to slay it."

He paused again, taking in a deep breath, having to back-track.

"After about a month and a half on his ship, we stopped in a mainland port, and Leo ran into one of his old shipmates who had left some time ago on family matters. The man's name was Donovan. His family matters were resolved and he was looking to join the crew again, and Leo happily welcomed him back in."

"Donovan and I interacted a lot, but no more than most of the other shipmmates. He seemed to blend in just fine, and I thought nothing of it. But things came to... to a head, of sorts."

"While we were out at sea, Leo decided to take us far out beyond the known limits of where most ships travel in search of the Laokin. He'd been pouring himself over books and maps and any information - legitimate or not - that he could get on the creature, and he was convinced he finally figured out the approximate coordinates for where to find it. It was an area already known for having some minor sea monsters, but... we sailed out into it anyway."

"At about the same time, thought I didn't know it then, Donovan was taking Leo to the side and talking to him about me in private conversations. I can't say for sure what he discussed, but I know he didn't reveal my identity. At least..."

"It was a clear day, when he did," James said. "Not a cloud in the sky. The waters were nearly still, and we were drifting in the weak waves. It had seemed peaceful, until Donovan dragged Leo up to the deck for the final confrontation, exposing me in front of everyone while we were in the middle of the ocean, with no place to run."

Except for the sea.

James pulled Evaline's hand just a little closer to himself, and his grip tightened. She lightly squeezed his hand to show that she was listening.

"You know, it was ironic, looking back on it," James said quietly. "Leo didn't actually care that I was a criminal. He was more offended by the fact that I'd lied about it. That I'd lied about supporting his fool's errand. That I'd taken advantage of his kindness."

James stared blankly down at the ground.

"You know, you think it's only in stories where they make people 'walk the plank.' And in some ways, maybe that is all just a story, because they never really think about how it feels to be forced to jump off the side of a ship into the open sea with nothing but a bottle of rum. Like that helps with anything."

James could've sworn that the pause that followed wasn't that long, but he couldn't remember how many seconds of dead silence had passed, with only the sound of the crackling fire to fill the space.

"I think all it took was a body plopping in the water," he said stiffly. "Because... they found it. The Laokin. It was real, and I can barely remember it. I can't even... I don't even know how I survived. It's... I can't... it's just. Gone. My mind won't even dare to let me remember it, like-- as if, it's like, since I didn't have something on my body to remember it by, it decided it just wouldn't anymore."

That was the story. That was it. There was a long pause from Evaline, like she wasn't sure if he had finished talking or not, and wanted to wait before she did.

"You may not remember," she said slowly in a hushed, gentle voice. "But I am very glad you did. Survive, I mean."

James nodded, unable to break his vacant stare with the ground. He hummed softly, trying not to imagine it. Because he knew Evaline was holding his hand, and he didn't want her to see anything on accident. He couldn't put her through that.

"I do... remember waking up on a beach. Vaguely. I'd ended up on a far-off island, somehow," he said quietly. "Some... people there. Brought me back, I think."

"Did you ever get to meet them?" she asked.

"What?" James asked, shaking his head a little as if to shake off the memory. "Who?"

"The people on the island," she said. "Did they rescue you?"

"Oh," he said softly, looking back to the ground. "Yes. It's... fuzzy, but yes. I can remember being in a hut. For a very long time. And when I was well enough to function on my own, I left the island as soon as possible. But even then, a lot of it feels like... like I was in a daze."

Evaline slowly rubbed her thumb over his knuckles.

"What Leo and Donovan did was cruel," she said. "But I think the end of your story is a nice reminder that people can be nice sometimes too."

James nodded slowly, looking down at their intertwined fingers. He brought her hand up a little closer as he pulled his own hand closer to himself.

"Yeah," he said softly, setting his eyes on the river in front of them.

"You know," Evaline said softly when there was a lingering pause. "I remember when I got us two books for the first time in Nye, and one of them was a sailor adventure. There was a chapter about the Laokin, and I remembered thinking that it was a majestic creature. Now, I'm not so sure."

"I'm still terrified of the ocean," James said, knowing it wasn't the most relevant reaction, but it felt like he'd kept it pent up for too long. "Every time I look at it, all I can think of is drowning, and being pulled under."

"Did you feel that way when we saw the ocean?" she asked.

James swallowed and took in another deep breath.

"Yes..." he said quietly.

"And... the river?" she asked.

"I don't know why, but it's... it's not as bad," he said. "As long as... as long as nothing grabs me."

"I understand," Evaline said, voice still gentle. "We are heading away from the coast, and we don't ever have to come back."

James glanced at her, quiet for a second.

"Do... do you like the ocean?" he asked.

"I won't miss it, if that's what you're asking," she said with a small smile.

James felt a tension release in his chest that he hadn't even realized was there. He let out a short breath of relief, and offered her a very small smile in return.

"Maybe someday I'll feel different," he said softly. "And it won't bother me as much anymore. But... until then... thank you."

"Maybe it'll change someday," she said with a softer smile. "But it doesn't have to be today, or tomorrow, or any time soon. And that's okay."

James finally met Evaline's eyes, wordlessly telling her thank you again. He hoped she knew that he meant it from his heart, and it wasn't just sentiment.

She gently squeezed his hand again. "Thank you for telling me," she said. "I know it wasn't easy."

"Thank you for being willing to listen," he said.

"Of course. I'll always listen to what you have to say," she said, then paused with the beginnings of a smirk. "Unless your opinion is dumb, and in that case, I might not listen."

James let out a weak laugh.

"What qualifies as dumb?" he asked.

Evaline hummed as her eyes drifted down to his arm. "Not covering your burn when the wound is still tender," she said.

James's grip on her hand loosened, and he slowly pulled his hand away, looking down at his own arm. He'd kept the burn covered for the last two days, but he'd taken the bandage off for when he jumped in the water, since he knew there would be no way to keep it dry anyway, and it would dry faster once he was out without a wet bandage over it. But he did need to wrap it up again.

Now that it was dry, it was starting to sting again. The burn wasn't too severe, but it did eat through the top layer of skin, leaving what was left both raw and tender, and easy to bleed if rubbed or scraped.

"C'mon," Evaline said with a smile as she loosened the blanket around herself, standing up. "Let's get you patched up. I'll go get the supplies."

James nodded slightly.

"I'll... go put my pants on," he said.

Evaline took a few steps towards Elliot, but then turned back and looked down at her folded clothes she left on the ground.

"Good idea," she said. "Dress first."

James also got to his feet, and the two of them hurried to their piles of clean clothes and got dressed with thier backs to each other. He put on dry, clean clothes up to his waist, because all of his shirts had long sleeves, and he didn't feel like dealing with the chafing and rolling up a sleeve over raw skin. He'd wait until it was wrapped. James folded up his dirty clothes and got up while Evaline finished getting dressed, and he found a place for them in their bags. It was at that point that he heard Evaline announce she was done, and then they switched places.

She went to Elliot to get the med kit, and he returned to where they were before, quickly throwing the blankets over a tree branch so they could get some air and sun to dry. He grabbed his layers of shirts, holding them to his chest even though it did little to keep him warm, and he sat back down by the fire, hoping to at least gain from its heat.

Evaline was quick to come back to the fire, sitting down beside him and setting the med kit down by her knees. She opened up the medkit and took out a small container of ointment, opening it up and dipping her fingers in it.

"Does it sting?" she asked.

James nodded.

"Yes," he said quietly.

"I'm going to apply some of the ointment on you," she said, already prepped as she looked up at him for confirmation. "It might sting some more, but it'll get better."

"That's fine," James said. He was familiar with things hurting worse before they got better.

Evaline nodded and then inched a little closer so that she could gently dab the ointment on the sensitive patch of skin. It took about a minute to cover the entire burn, but when she finished, she wiped her fingers with a rag as she got a roll of bandages out, starting to unroll it.

"It's a big burn," she said softly.

"I... can tell," he said, just as soft.

She was quiet for a moment as she unfurled the bandage. "I'm sorry," she said even quieter.

James swallowed, glancing up at her, then down at his arm.

"Can I ask... how it happened?" he asked in a whisper.

Evaline placed the edge of the bandage at his wrist where the edge of the burn started, but didn't quite begin to wrap yet.

"Maybe it's a good thing you don't remember," she said in a low voice. "I think you'd think differently of me."

"You'll never know if you never say," James said, still soft.

"The burn came from Mathias," she said after a hesitation, slowly starting to wind the bandage up his arm. "He was trying to pick you up. It was like... a rope of fire. I've never seen anything like it before."

From what little James had seen from mages in Nye, it wasn't too difficult to imagine.

"Ah," he said quietly. "He... lifted me."

He paused, looking again, down at his arm.

"For how long?"

"It couldn't have been more than ten seconds," she said, sounding more and more guilty. "But it was long enough."

James nodded again. He was silent, for a moment, as Evaline finished wrapping up his arm.

"There," she said softly as she tied the end off to secure it. "It may take a few weeks to heal, but I will gladly help everyday if I need to."

"Thank you," James said softly, finding his gaze briefly drift to his torso.

To say that his skin was patterned with bruises almost felt like an understatement.

"Not needed," Evaline said quickly as she lightly touched his wrist where the bandage began. "It's my obligation."

James looked up at her, briefly meeting her eyes.

"How am I going to... explain this? To the others?" he asked quietly.

This was obviously far more than any of the injuries he'd sustained in the fight. He couldn't pass a burn off as part of a powerless tournament.

"I'm not sure," she said softly as she pulled her hand away and solemnly looked up at him. "I could say that we ran into a tribal community, but that would welcome more questions than needed."

James broke eye contact, and his eyes averted to the side in shame.

"I don't suppose we could tell them the truth," James said. "Or... at least, part of it."

"We can," she said. "But... maybe leave out the captured bits. We only fought them."

"We ran into the Gaea, and fought them. That's all," James said quietly, more to himself.

"That's all," she repeated just as quietly. "If anyone asks you questions, I'll shut them down. They don't need to know what you've been though."

"You would think they'd have the decency not to ask," James mumbled, looking down at the ground. "But-- I know. People still do."

"I think they'd be more curious about Gaea, but the conversation would inevitably lead towards the damage they've done to... you."

James didn't like that he felt a knot creeping up his throat. His eyes started to sting, though tears weren't coming yet. He continued to stare at the ground, trying to keep it at bay. Trying not to feel like it was all his fault.

"James, I'm really sorry," Evaline suddenly said. "I wish I could have prevented all of this in the first place. You don't deserve any of this."

It wasn't like James didn't appreciate her words of comfort, but it didn't help him keep the tears from coming to his eyes, now starting to blur his vision.

He pinched his eyes shut, turning his face to the side.

"Is it bad..." he asked with a wavering whisper. "That I'm tired? Tired of everything hurting all of the time?"

"No," Evaline said quickly. "No. Of course not. You have been through so much pain. I'm a coward because I avoid this - but you - I can't even comprehend your strength. But I know it must be so tiring to be strong all the time. And it's okay... if you have weak days. I just want you to let me know if you do have those days, so I can be the stronger one instead."

James swallowed down the knot in his throat hard, but his tears kept coming. Slowly, and quietly.

He didn't know what came over him. But for the first time in years, he actually wanted a hug. He wanted to be held, and not be afraid that he was going to be hurt again. He just wanted to know it wasn't going to hurt. Not on purpose. He wanted to feel safe, if only for a moment.

James didn't have the strength to turn and initiate for himself.

"Can..." he whispered. "Can I have a hug? Gently."

Evaline didn't even hesitate as she leaned in and opened up her arms, gently wrapping them over his shoulders and around his neck. There wasn't much tension, as if she wanted him to determine how tight or loose he wanted the hug to be.

"It's okay, you don't have to ask me," she whispered close to his ear. "I'll always welcome and respect any touch from you."

Weakly, James brought his arms around Evaline's back, and he buried his face in her shoulder. He didn't have anything else to say as he started to cry softly, too tired to sob or weep or wail.

"Next time, I'll be the stronger one," she said softly and gently. "I promise."

James turned his head slightly, just so he could speak.

"Maybe it's okay if we're both weak," he said in a whisper. "But we can be stronger together."

"You're right. We are in this together," she said, still holding on to him. "I will gladly step up to be the stronger one when needed, but it doesn't have to be this way. We don't have to take turns if we're both strong. I just wish I knew how."

James sniffed faintly and bow his head so his face was hidden between them.

"Me too," he said quietly.

"But this is a start," she said. "You're strong in asking for a hug."

James took in a shaky breath, and he tried to hug her a little tighter, but it hurt, so he relented. She didn't say anything more as she still held her gentle grip around him, even placing one hand behind his head like she wanted to avoid touching his back to not hurt him unintentionally. James wasn't sure just how much time had passed, but it had to have been a minute before he started to pull away, attempting to wipe his eyes put stopping when he started to rub the tender, bruised skin.

"I'm getting cold," he said with a sad little laugh - and it was true. He grabbed his shirts, and started putting the first layer on, pushing through one kind of discomfort to solve another. Evaline handed him the next layer before he could grab it, and he nodded silently in thanks before putting it on. She handed him the next one too.

"We have some time before we should leave," she said as he finished putting on the last layer. "Do you think you could sleep while we're here? I know you've been staying up for me. I want to return the favor."

James was tired. And especially after crying, his eyes felt puffy, and he felt that if he managed to lie down, he might actually be able to fall asleep.

"If we have time," he said. "I can try. You-- you can wake me. When we need to go."

"I will," she said, then got up on her feet and looked towards the blankets that were hanging. "I'll wash our dirty clothes and later prepare food. The blankets are wet right now, but... I can get you our spare clothes for extra warmth."

She didn't even wait to hear his response as she was already walking towards Elliot to pull out folded clothes, then walk back.

"Here, put this on," she said, handing him a buttoned jacket. She draped another jacket on his legs, and folded shirts on the grass that he could use as a pillow. "I'll rekindle the fire so it stays lit while you sleep," she added.

James found himself already getting sleepy, now that the thought of sleep was finally planted in his brain, and he didn't have to fight it. He put on the jacket, and decided to lie down.

Gods, it hurt to lie down, but it felt so good at the same time. To not have to hold up his own weight anymore. He closed his eyes, and before Evaline could even return to the fire, he

He was still being carried. They swung him side to side as the vines kept him bound, but he continued to wriggle against the constraints. He wasn't going to let them win. He wasn't going to let them break him. Water kept being thrown into his face every time he kicked or yelled or tried to throw himself out of their grasp, but it was never enough to escape. It was only ever enough to anger Darla and get her to almost-drown him over, and over, and over.

James lost track of how much time passed, or what scenery passed beside them, but he knew that at some point, they'd entered a building. He was looking at matted, faded carpet.

Suddenly, he was yanked upward. Previously, he'd been parallel to the ground, staring at it, but now he was on his feet - or as much on his feet as he could be, with his feet and hands still bound.

"You're a pain in the ass, you know that?" Darla spat in his face.

James took the opportunity to spit back.

He saw rage light behind Darla's eyes as she shoved him back into someone's arms. He fell backwards, being caught roughly before he could hit the ground. Darla reached down and grabbed his collar, ripping him out of the hands that held him and pulling him up to her face.

"You can keep fighting," she said, meeting his eyes. "But it's only going to get worse for you. I know you think you're doing something noble by pushing back over and over, but you're going to make it worse for everyone around you too. You think you're special? You think you're the only one? Well you're not. No one cares about you anymore, and no one ever will."

She punched him in his gut, and James growled. She punched him again, and this time, he used the momentum to bring his head forward to collide with hers.

Just before their skulls could thunk together, water surrounded his whole head, and he was thrown back again.

"That's it," Darla barked. "We're taking you inside, but you need to calm the fuck down."

Several people suddenly surrounded him on all sides, grabbing his ever limb, his waist, his head. A door opened in front of him, and he was dragged inside, where he was thrown to the floor, and then held down by several people.

James grit his teeth and tried to fight, but it was in vain. His heart was racing as he saw Darla appear standing over him, turning towards him with a needle and a syringe.

"This should help take the fight out of you," Darla said calmly, with a sinister, mocking smile. James felt someone grab his arm and roll up his sleeve to his elbow, offering it to Darla. James watched with wide eyes as she stuck the needle in to his veins as a cold sensation traveled up his skin.

He could feel his heart racing, and as Darla pulled away and the others got to their feet, he struggled to get to his own. But someone just as quickly whipped around and slapped him in the face. Hard. And it sent him tumbling back onto the floor. Darla and the other Gaea were gone before he could get his bearings.

He stayed there for a moment, lying flat on the floor as he took several deep breaths.

"Are they gone?" he heard a woman whisper after a stretch of silence.

"I think so. But they left someone here."

"Oh, he doesn't look too good..."

"Should we help him?"

"I didn't know men were allowed in the sun room..."

"Let's go help him. He wouldn't be here if they didn't want him here."

Suddenly, a strange feeling started to wash over him. His hearbeat started to slow down, and his breathing started to steady. The anxiety and the pain started to strip away, and there was a warm feeling in his chest.

He felt calm.

Four different shadows seem to tower over him until he was able to focus and see the faces of four different women kneeling over him curiously.

"Are you okay?" one of the women asked as she lifted his head to lay on her lap.

"I'm fine," James said quietly, and for once, it felt true. His head felt like a cloud. Everything was soft. Everything was fine.

"He's drugged, Kate," the woman across from him said, squinting at him.

James slowly turned his head, finding himself looking at the woman's belly. She was pregnant. Somewhere in her second trimester, probably.

"Oh, poor dear," the woman, Kate, said as she gently brushed his hair back. "This happens to everyone they bring in at first. It's cruel. You'll get through this."

"No, no," James said softly. He didn't know why they were worried. He felt better than he had in his entire life. "I'm good. This is... good."

He blinked up at her, realizing he had no idea who she was.

"Who are you?" he asked distantly.

"My name is Kate," she said with a small smile, and then began to gesture at the other women around them. "And this is Deena, Alexandra, and Jackie. You're in one of the sun rooms."

"Are all your children sons?" James asked with a slow blink.

"We don't know," Kate said with a sad, gentle smile.

"Mine kicks like a boy, though," the woman across from him, Deena, said.

"What's your name?" Kate asked him.

James had to stop and think for a moment. What was his name? Surely, he couldn't have forgotten it, but he was always using different names. Did it matter which one he used today?

"I can be any name," he said, closing his eyes. "Whatever name you want."

"Let's call him Ron," Jackie suggested.

"No, no," James said distantly. "Ron died."

Jackie hummed. "What about Lance?"

James hummed too, slightly smiling. "I like Lance."

"Alright, Lance," Kate said as she started to lift him up so he could sit up straight, and the other women helped too. "Let's at least sit you up against the wall. Can you move for me?"

James tried to move, but his movements felt slow and loose. He could hold himself up, it just took more effort.

"I've got him," Alexandra said, taking control as she started to drag him towards the wall. "Holding a baby doesn't take away my strength."

James tried to help, but he couldn't seem to muster the energy. Alexandra put her hands under his arms and dragged him across the floor, before carefully leaning his back against the wall.

When she finished, she kneeled down and clapped her hands twice before she tilted his chin so that his head didn't droop to one side.

"Kate, do you think you can heal him?" she asked as she inspected his face. "He doesn't look too good."

"I'm fine," James mumbled again, but no one seemed to listen to him.

"You know we can't use our powers while holding a child," Kate said gently. "But I'll get him some food and water."

Kate walked away, and the other women sat around him, equally curious and concerned.

"Tell us about yourself, Lance," Deena said. "Maybe we can help with something."

"What do you want to help with?" James asked, looking at Deena.

"About a year ago, Kate and I helped manage to get a young woman to escape by manipulating the guards," she said. "So we're not useless. We could possibly help you."

James stared at Deena long and hard.

"I could never ask you to risk your own well-being to help a stranger," he said softly.

"All I'm asking is for you to tell us about yourself," Deena said with a small smile. "That's all."

James nodded slightly.

"There's nothing special about me," he said. "There isn't supposed to be. I don't even know why I have powers. I never wanted them. I don't know how to use them. I don't know how to control time. I'm not even useful."

The women seemed to exchange glances with one another.

"You have a time power?" Jackie asked.

"That's what they tell me," James said, closing his eyes again. "Time... memory... something. Something. Living relic."

There was another brief pause.

"Well... none of us are experts, but maybe we could help you tap into your power," Jackie said. "You have a better chance of escaping than any one of us."

"But I'm bad at it," James said. "No one's ever taught me anything. I don't know how to do things... it just happens."

"So, you let your power control you, rather than you controlling it?" Alexandra asked.

James felt his head nodding forward. He jerked it back up, but ended up hitting the wall behind him. It should've hurt.

He laughed tiredly at that. It might've been sad, if he didn't feel so good at the moment.

"Yeah... I guess I do," he said.

"Maybe it just requires intense concentration," Alexandra offered.

"I've heard that time is an emotional-type power," Deena said. "Would it help to channel feelings?"

"I thought it was more of a visual," Jackie said. "And it's like picking and choosing where - or when - they want to go."

"Maybe. I'm not sure."

James hummed lowly as the women talked, tilting his head to the side as thier voices started to blend together. He also heard Kate coming back, setting a tray beside him as she also kneeled down.

"I feel... warm," he said slowly. "Is this what happiness feels like?"

"It's not real happiness," Deena said sadly. "You are feeling the effects of a drug. Don't let it define happiness."

"But it doesn't hurt anymore," James said. "Nothing hurts anymore."

"That's why they administer it," Kate said gently, taking his hand to wrap it around a half-full glass of water for him to drink. "It's highly addictive. There are women in other sun rooms who are dependent on the drug. Men, too. We wouldn't wish that amount of suffering on to you."

Addictive. James knew that should've been a warning.

He reached up to hold the glass with his other hand, and he stared down into the water.

"What if they don't let me choose?" he whispered.

"They do," Kate said after there was a long silence, like none of the other women wanted to speak. "You can cooperate soberly."

Cooperate soberly.

He took a drink of the water.

"Are you sober?" he asked.

"We are," Kate said.

"But we haven't always been," Deena added. "I was addicted to it for a time, but I forced myself to cooperate when I realized I was pregnant. I didn't want the baby to be addicted either."

"Oh..." James said quietly. "That's right."

Babies. He'd almost forgotten.

"I know you don't want to be here," Kate said gently. "None of us did. We were all taken against our will. But... please keep your safety in mind. We wouldn't want you to get hurt again."

James set the glass down beside him.

"I always get hurt," he said.

"You don't have to, though," Deena said.

"Tell that to the universe," James said. And for some reason, he almost thought it was funny.

There was another short pause.

"Are you hungry?" Kate asked.

"Mmm," was James's simple reply, and Kate took it as a yes, offering him food.

"James," a familiar voice suddenly called. "James. Wake up."

James felt the memories fading away slowly, like someone had thrown a rock into still water, causing ripples. The picture of Kate got blurry, and as he opened his eyes, it was replaced with someone else.

Evaline was kneeling in front of him, looking down into his face. For a moment, he looked up at her in confusion. He had the strangest thought pass through his mind.

Who's James? He'd expected to be called Lance.

"Hey," she said with a small smile. "You slept soundly. I hope I didn't interrupt any deep sleep."

James felt like he was still trying to return to reality. His mind was still caught up in the dream that seemed to last forever. It wasn't a dream, was it? It felt real. It felt like a memory, but Evaline wasn't there. So how could it have been undone? Was Evaline there, and he just didn't know it?

But he only saw through his eyes the whole time. In fact, it was like he was reliving it.

He looked back up at Evaline, and it took a few seconds for his eyes to refocus.

"Eve..." he said softly, trying to find words amidst the rush of confusion. He reached out slightly, finding her knee. "I... I had..."

His sentence trailed off as he started to sit up. He shook his head slightly, pinching his eyes shut for a moment.

"I was drugged...?" he whispered in a distant question.

"Drugged," Evaline repeated back softly, concern laced in her voice. "From the pills in Terra?"

James felt a sudden wave of panic as the memory replayed in his mind again. Suddenly, it was like he was remembering it again for the first time.

"M-my-" he stuttered, reaching for the crook of his arm as if to protect it, even though no one was there, and there were no needles. "Darla. I was drugged, and it felt like... nothing was wrong."

Evaline sat firmly in front of him, her brows drawn together in evident concern as she gave him her full attention.

"In a dream?" she asked.

"I think I remembered?" James whispered, his voice rising in pitch. "Did-- did you-- but no. You weren't there. You weren't. You couldn't have undone it."

"Hey hey hey, it's okay," Evaline said calmly with her hand out in front of her when she sensed his rising anxiety. "It was still just a dream. You're here with me now, safe."

James looked up at Evaline, meeting her eyes, unable to hide the panic behind them.

"Evaline, it felt real," he said, his words spilling out quickly and running together. "They-they held me down, and I couldn't fight it, and then-then the drugs kicked in, and there were these pregnant women who tried to help me. And I think I told them I had a time power and I felt so good, but everything was so wrong, and I couldn't explain it, and I don't want to be--"

James cut himself off, realizing his breathing was becoming erratic, and he was now shaking. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he looked down.

"James, it's okay, I believe you," Evaline said calmly, trying to show her sincerity by attempting to meet his eyes. "Let's take one step at a time. Okay? Take deep breaths for me."

James took in as slow of a breath as he could manage, but it was like he was shivering. He took in another, and another, gradually trying to retake control of his own breath. It took him a minute to do so.

"Do you need some water?" she asked. "Food? Are you hot, cold?"

James shook his head.

"I'm..." he said, but pinched his eyes shut. He took a deep breath again.

"It's okay," she said gently, then paused. "Do you want to talk about it? I don't want to get going until you feel more comfortable."

James breathed deeply again, trying to focus himself before responding. He opened his eyes again and looked at her, but didn't meet her eyes.

"They brought me to the sunroom," he said quietly. "But I kept fighting, and Darla got fed up. It was like I was-- like I was living it all over again, except for the first time, because I couldn't remember at all it until now."

"Does it feel similar to a dream of memories I've undone?" Evaline asked.

"Yes but you weren't there," James said. "It was just me. I was me."

Evaline stopped to pause for a moment. "That is strange," she said. "It sounds like this happened right after the moment you stopped remembering, and it couldn't have been any undone memory because that was my cooldown period. Maybe you are simply remembering the time you have lost. How it manifested into a memory in your dream, or why you don't remember in the first place, I'm not sure."

"But this--" James started. "This was so vivid. I've remembered things before, but never like this. Never in so much detail. I could remember everything everyone said. Even every thought I had at the time."

"It's as if you are living through it in a dream," she said distantly. "Like your mind decided to let you live through it later by a dream, rather than in the moment."

"I--I guess so," James said. "But I haven't had dreams this vivid since I was taking the sleeping pills. But this-- it wasn't quite like that either. It didn't turn into a nightmare."

He paused. The memory itself was like a nightmare.

"As in-- things that can't really happen," he added. "I mean."

Evaline sat still for a moment, looking out towards the river with furrowed brows, deep in thought.

"This is a risk," she prefaced. "But if you think this is a piece of a missing memory rather than a dream, maybe I can help confirm it with my memory power."

"Evaline," James said quickly. "I would never put you through that."

"I would never put you through what I already put you through," she said as she met his gaze. "But I did. And this is a small price to pay for your peace of mind."

"But if it is a real memory," James countered - and he was beginning to think it really was. "It's... I can't. I don't want you to feel it too. I don't."

"I said I'd be the stronger one next time, didn't I?" she said with a small, almost sad smile.

James felt his heart sink.

"Eve, I just..." he trailed off, looking down at his hands in his lap. If he was going to show her anything, maybe he didn't have to show her all of it. Just enough to prove if it was real or not.

"To be honest," she began when a short silence followed. "I think your accident memory share during our dance was what started me feeling again. And those were positive emotions." She paused for a moment. "But I understand not all emotions are positive, and it's okay. I can handle it."

James looked up to meet her eyes with earnest. He wanted her to understand what she was asking for. He wanted her to understand the severity of it all. He didn't even know how to "handle it" himself. It wasn't just something that could be "handled."

"Only a small part," he said. "You don't need to see it all. Just a little, then it can be over."

"Okay," Evaline said with a nod. "As long as it's enough that I can run it over by you and verify that it's the same memory you dreamed about."

James nodded slowly.

"Okay," he said softly.

Evaline didn't want James to share this burden alone. He was having a hard time figuring out what was real and what was a dream, and although this dream sounded vividly realistic, there was still no way of knowing whether it happened or not because she wasn't there with him.

Part of her was hoping that the memory sharing would fail, because the memory he thought back upon never happened. That would mean there wasn't a possibility that he would remember any more.

Still, she couldn't be selfish. She wanted to do with for James, even if there was discomfort. She wanted him to know that he truly wasn't alone.

At this point, James had shared enough memories that Evaline no longer had to tell him to close his eyes and concentrate. Wordlessly, she offered her hand for him to take, and soon as James took it, the memory began playing in her head like she was the one living through it.

Darla and the other Gaea were gone before James could get his bearings.

He was lying flat on the floor as he took several deep breaths.

"Are they gone?" he heard a woman whisper after a stretch of silence.

"I think so. But they left someone here."

"Oh, he doesn't look too good..."

"Should we help him?"

"I didn't know men were allowed in the sun room..."

"Let's go help him. He wouldn't be here if they didn't want him here."

Suddenly, a strange feeling started to wash over him. His heartbeat started to slow down, and his breathing started to steady. The anxiety and the pain started to strip away, and there was a warm feeling in his chest.

He felt calm.

Four different shadows seem to tower over him until he was able to focus and see the faces of four different women kneeling over him curiously.

"Are you okay?" one of the women asked as she lifted his head to lay on her lap.

"I'm fine," James said quietly, and for once, it felt true. His head felt like a cloud. Everything was soft. Everything was fine.

"He's drugged, Kate," the woman across from him said, squinting at him.

James slowly turned his head, finding himself looking at the woman's belly. She was pregnant. Somewhere in her second trimester, probably.

"Oh, poor dear," the woman, Kate, said as she gently brushed his hair back. "This happens to everyone they bring in at first. It's cruel. You'll get through this."

"No, no," James said softly. He didn't know why they were worried. He felt better than he had in his entire life. "I'm good. This is... good."

He blinked up at her, realizing he had no idea who she was.

"Who are you?" he asked distantly.

The memory came to an abrupt end, like James was forcing her out. He pulled away, leaving her hand lingering in the air, as well as the lingering, strange feeling she was feeling in her chest. She'd have known he was drugged even if he didn't tell her beforehand. It felt warm. Euphoric, even. It dulled the pulsating aches she felt on her chest. She knew the aches came from the beatings. James's beatings.

"Hmmm," was all she was able to get out at first as she closed her eyes and willed herself to concentrate through the brain fog, trying to grab the details of the memory before it escaped from her grasp.

"I'm assuming," James said quietly. "You saw it."

Evaline nodded. "Yeah," she said slowly. "I did."

"So that... that means it's real," James concluded.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, looking at his face plainly. "Do you remember the woman's name?" she asked. "The one who first helped you?"

"Kate," James said.

"How many women were there?"

"Four," he answered.

"And how did the drug make you feel?" she asked.

James didn't meet her eyes.

"Euphoric," he said in shame.

Evaline took another deep breath, pushing away the lingering emotions as the unsettling thought of James potentially dreaming more of that day took up all the space in her brain.

"That's right," she said softly. "It's real."

James was quiet for a while.

"You didn't have any control over how the drug made you feel," she said when it fully registered that he was ashamed. "It's not your fault you felt that way."

"That's not why I'm..." James started to say, but stared down into his lap, quiet for a second.

"I liked it," he whispered. "I'm scared that I did."

Evaline drew her brows together in concern. James had already overdosed once and - possibly - had a history of drug use, so being concerned about this was a natural reaction. But she didn't want him to think that she pitied him.

"I know," she said softly. "I know, because I lived through you. But also - I understand. I've had the same drug before. It's designed to be addictive like that. But it was given to you without your consent, so as long as you don't choose to take it, it won't be addictive."

James looked up at her, but only for a moment.

"But what does this all mean?" he asked. "I'm dreaming memories after the fact?"

"I... I don't know," she said in defeat, not liking the uncertainty. "It's like you just... skipped ahead, even though you were present at that moment. And now you're dreaming the parts you skipped. I don't know."

"Is this... a time thing?" James asked quietly.

"I don't know," she said again. "I've only ever heard of undoing time, not skipping time."

James was quiet again, and he looked like he was both deeply concerned and in deep thought.

"What did it feel like right before it happened?" she asked. "Right before you stopped remembering?"

James still kept his head down.

"I was drowning," he said quietly. "Darla... kept almost drowning me. Over and over."

It was a lot to process. Although neither of them said it directly out loud, they were talking about time travel to the future, which Evaline didn't think was possible. Was it? This was part of her fake cover-up story. What were the odds that he could do that as well?

She had to push those thoughts aside as she tried to focus on the facts that were presented to her. This happened, and she couldn't just brush it off. This really shook James, and she chose to believe him, even if it didn't make any sense to her.

"Maybe..." she began quietly. "Maybe it happened because you were under a lot of distress or danger. Similar to how the lower-tiered time travelling works today."

"So you think... I traveled to the future?" James asked, his voice rising in what sounded like disbelief.

"It could be that," she said calmly, trying to be the one to ground him, even if this made no sense to her either. "It could be that, or maybe you jumped to a different timeline, which is also like jumping to the future, in a way. But since you jumped ahead instead of back, there's nothing to undo, and..." She sighed. "I don't know. I really don't."

"I just miss it," James said. "I miss it, but no one else does."

"You didn't appear any different," she said softly. "But I also didn't really get to talk to you. As me. But you didn't seem different, given the circumstances."

"I was also... drugged," James said. "Which doesn't really help in knowing if I behaved differently or anything."

"Right," Evaline said, then let out a quiet sigh. "I honestly have no idea. But it worries me if this happens again, because you can't warn me of it until after it happened."

"And it would probably be weird to just say time's up," he said quietly.

Evaline vaguely remembered telling James her old catchphrase "time's down" she'd use to warn others that she had gone back in time. She wondered if that was in reference to that, but the opposite direction since he was jumping forward instead of back.

"Maybe to others," she said just as quietly. "But I'd understand."

"The problem is, I don't know if I'd know for sure how much time I'd lost. I was only really able to estimate because of the sun," he said. "So... I'd probably just have to tell you the last thing I remember."

"Lucky for you," Evaline said with a small, pained smile. "I have a good memory."

James looked up at Evaline, and he let out a long sigh.

"That you do," he said quietly. "Better than me."

"I'm used to helping people remember memories," she said. "I'll gladly fill the role and fill in the missing gaps."

Even when she knew one of the missing gaps involved her encouraging his torture in Gaea.

"It's too soon to really say for sure," James said. "But I think my brain is already doing that for me. Just... when I sleep."

Evaline nodded and let a small silence pass.

"And it's also probably too soon to assume you'll dream of every memory you've lost," she said quietly. "But if that is the case, then I want to warn you ahead of time. The memory with me in Gaea isn't pleasant, and it pains me to know that you'd be able to see it again, days after it happened, with a sober mind."

James nodded slightly, looking past her, at the fire behind them.

"I'll just try to brace for it, I guess," James said solemnly. "If it comes."

"Everything I've said to Gaea has been a lie," Evaline said quickly, suddenly feeling the need to justify herself. "If you see it, then know it was just a long act. An act to get them to trust me enough so that I could enter the sunroom myself with minimal guards so that we could escape."

"I know," James said steadily. "I'm familiar with putting on an act out of necessity. I don't judge you for it. I just know it's not... you know. Going to be a good memory. But hopefully, I'll only have to relive it once. At least, like this."

His words gave her some peace of mind, but it still wasn't enough to stop the onslaught of worry and anxiety. She wasn't sure if there was anything she could say that could stop it, because she didn't want James to relive it, even if it was just one time, and he was prepared.

"It was hard," she said as she followed his gaze towards the fire. "It was hard to keep a necessary act when it involved hurting someone you care about. I felt sick when I walked away."

James kept his eyes glued to the fire, but he reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently.

"I'll be okay," he said. "We made it this far."

After a brief pause, he let go and started getting to his feet.

"We should probably get going now," he said softly, looking down at her with a small, sad, but sincere smile. "Right?"

It didn't feel right to literally walk away from this conversation.

"Can you tell me if you have any of those dreams?" she asked, meeting his gaze. "Can you tell me if you dream of anything I've undone, too?"

James nodded, still holding his small, sad smile.

"I told you about this one, didn't I?" he said softly. "I will. Okay?"

Evaline nodded, and maybe it was instinct, but she felt like she couldn't fully trust that. Or maybe she was too afraid to hear his thoughts.

He said he dreamed of her undone memories. He didn't even mention the first time she tested this with him when she threw grass at his face. He dreamed that, right? Did he not want to tell her because she sneakily asked questions afterwards?

"Thank you," she said, trying to hide the uncertainty in her voice.

It seemed that she did a bad job of trying to hide it, because James seemed to pick up on it. He studied her, his eyebrows drawing together in concern.

"Are you unsure because I didn't tell you about all of my dreams at first?" he asked softly. "The ones before this?"

Evaline looked down at her hands on her lap, unable to meet his eyes.

"I know most of your dreams happened while you were taking the pills," she said. "And I know many are difficult to talk about. It's just... you haven't really told me what you saw."

James was still on his feet, and he looked off to the side with his eyebrows drawn together.

"Honestly, I'm still not sure how much of it was real, or my imagination adding onto things, and what was a memory or not... so I wasn't sure if it'd be helpful to say," he said.

"But isn't that why you should tell me?" she asked, trying not to sound hurt, because she knew he was the victim in this scenario, and she just happened to be involved.

"I guess, if I'm being honest, I'm not proud of however my subconscious decided to imagine you. It often wasn't kind," he said quietly.

"And I'm not proud of the memory you might see of me with Gaea," Evaline said a bit more desperately, snapping her head up to face him. "But you'll see it anyways. Don't you see? You don't have to be burdened with this alone. I want to help."

James looked down at her, his eyes saddened, but soft.

"I can tell you," he said quietly. Then his eyes dropped to the ground. "I know... you deserve to know."

He was giving her what she wanted, but why did she still feel guilty? Like this whole situation was still not tipped to either of their favor?

"You also deserve to know," Evaline said just as quietly, her eyes drifting back to her hands clenched together. "You deserve to know when I do go back. So that you could brace for it if you dream about it."

"And so I can be there for you too," James said softly.

Evaline let out a short huff of air through her nose. Even when he was being burdened by the dreams and now by a strange time jumping ability into the future, he was seeing this as an opportunity for him to help her. But that wasn't what this was about at all.

"I'm more concerned about warning you so you wouldn't be blindsided," she said softly.

James knelt back down, this time sitting right in front of her again. He looked into her face, trying to meet her eyes, which she met after a brief hesitation.

"I think you should tell me," he agreed. "But as far as everything that happened in The City of Angels with the Gaea, consider this: if I hadn't jumped forward - if that is, indeed, what happened - then I would have lived through it anyway. In a way, it's like no matter what, I would be experiencing it either way. I know neither of us wanted any of it to happen, and I know you did everything you possibly could to save me, and save us. And Elliot. And Sleepy. And you got us all out of there, which in itself is a miracle. I'd much rather suffer a few memories and be alright, here, with you, than still be trapped in Gaea."

He paused for a moment, and offered her a small smile.

"I need to tell you things that I saw. I just don't know if we should talk about all of this right now. I could tell you some of my dreams on the way over to meet up at the rendezvous point if you want. But it's a lot, I think. For one sitting."

He let out a small laugh through his nose.

"It was a lot for a whole month," he said. "But I will catch you up to speed. Okay?"

Evaline held eye contact the entire time even when it was hard, but she could see that he was sincere. He meant his words. And she had to trust that.

"...Okay," she said, knowing she wanted to say more, but nothing else came to mind except that one word of agreement.

James reached out and patted her shoulder lightly.

"Should we get going, then?" he asked.

"Yes, but..." She faltered for a second,

James looked at her expectantly. Patiently waiting.

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about the dreams on the way there," she said softly. "We'll save it for later."

"After the meet-up?" he asked.

Evaline nodded. "After the meet-up. And not in one sitting."

"I can do that," James said with another small smile.

"And, James?"

James met her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," she said, returning the small smile. "For always choosing to be patient."

She watched as James's face slowly melted into a full, genuine smile.

"I do it gladly," he said softly, and then rose to his feet. "Alright. Let's get these blankets rolled up and get moving."

The trip to the rendezvous point was only about two-hours on horseback, and Evaline and James enjoyed bouts of both mild conversation and silence. Occasionally, Sleepy would add to the conversation as she sat on his shoulder, chirping whenever James would laugh a little, like she wanted in on the joke. It seemed to make both James and Evaline laugh more.

Overall, for it being an eventful morning (at least, emotionally), the ride over was uneventful. James was grateful for it, especially after the strain of the last four days. He felt that they all felt it - Elliot and Sleepy included. James still didn't even know what happened to Elliot when he was out, come to think of it, but it seemed like Elliot wasn't hurt, and he was unperturbed. James had been worried that the Gaea might've sold him or hell, even eaten him. But maybe there were other uses they would've found for a horse. Like... genetic modification. Because that was a thing.

Eventually, they made it to a dip in the forest where there was a large pond. As they approached the pond, the forest got louder with the buzzing of bugs, croaking of frogs, and the life of critters who lived by the water. James could see glimpses of flashes of vibrant colors in the water, like there were many fish swimming around in it.

At the edge of the pond in a small grassy clearing, they could see Mel, Elise, and Alistair all sitting on a large fallen log. The three of them looked up when they saw James and Evaline riding up on Elliot, and James offered them a small wave before they got within reasonable talking distance.

"Thank god you're okay!" Mel said as she stood up and immediately began to briskly walk over. "We were all so worried! You both disappeared! You could have at least told us!"

James let out a little laugh, but quickly glanced over at Evaline, briefly widening his eyes before he looke back at Mel with a relaxed expression.

"Sorry, Mel," Evaline said calmly as she hopped off of Elliot, and Mel didn't hesitate to give her a bear hug. "We should have told you, but we lost our radios along the way. We decided to leave early. The important thing is that we're here now."

James was a little slower to hop off Elliot. He rode Elliot a little past them before jumping down and taking Elliot's lead.

"Nobody told me radios weren't waterproof," James said with an embarassed laugh, deciding to take the fall for how they lost them. Because he figured someone might ask.

"All it took was one dip in the river, and that was enough to fry the batteries," Evaline added on, giving James a quick appreciative look over Mel's shoulder.

Mel then let go, glancing between the two. "Well, glad you're okay. I didn't know you'd bring James, though. What's up with that? And, uh..." She twirled a finger around her face.

Evaline glanced at James, but then pulled Mel to the side for a bit, supposedly to get her up to speed.

James turned his attention to Elise, who was walking up with Alistair to meet them.

"Hi, James," Elise said with a smile. "We didn't know that you'd be coming. This is a nice surprise."

Even though neither Elise or Alistair said anything about the bruises on his face and neck, James could feel their stares.

"Well, I told you I wanted to help," James told Elise. "And I meant it."

"It'll be a dangerous trip," Alistair said.

James flicked his eyes to him, refusing to let the underlying message ruffle his feathers. Ironically, though, Sleepy - who was still on his shoulder - ruffled her feathers and then nestled down into the crook of his neck, getting comfortable.

"I know," James said steadily.

"Thank you, James," Elise said warmly. "I really appreciate you helping. It means a lot, even though you didn't need to come."

James offered her a small, warm smile.

"You are most welcome," he said, flicking his gaze back to Evaline and Mel, who were still chatting quietly amongst themselves.

Elise seemed to clear her throat when a small silence passed. James felt he knew what was coming.

"Do you need a medical kit?" she asked. "I brought extras."

Oh. So it wasn't exactly what he'd been thinking.

"We have one," James said, flicking his gaze back to Elliot. The burn wound was going to use up a lot of supplies on its own, if they wanted to treat it well consistently.

"But," he added. "Another one might be useful, if you have one to spare."

"Of course," she said with a small smile. "I'd be happy to give you another one. I wouldn't be a good doctor if I didn't bring extras to share."

James offered her a weak smile.

"I can see that," he said, before quickly changing the subject. "So-- how was your journey here? Not too troublesome I hope?"

"No trouble yet," Elise said. "It's been fairly uneventful since we've been in the safe zone."

"Except for those bugs that wouldn't leave us alone," Alistair cut in.

"Oh, hah, yes. Except for that."

"What kind of bugs?" James asked.

"It's hard to say since we couldn't get a good look at it and we left shortly after," Alistair said. "But they were like flying fire ants."

James made a brief face of disgust.

"Sounds unpleasant," he said. "Did you get bit, or were they just swarming in your space?"

"They were fairly invasive," Alistair continued. "I got bit by a few, and they followed even when we tried to move. Ironically, fire is the fire ant's weakness."

"I see," James said with a hum. "I'll keep that in mind if we ever run into any."

"They make a low buzzing sound that makes you question your sanity," Alistair dead-panned.

"I do hope you've gained it all back. Would be a shame to lose such a precious thing to ants," James dead-panned back.

"Yeah," Alistair replied, expression unchanged. "Would be a shame if I lost to ants."

"A real tragedy," James echoed.

Elise was glancing between the two of them, clearly not matching their sense of humor as she followed along the conversation.

"What about you, James?" she asked. "How was your journey with Evaline?"

James had anticipated this question to come up the moment he's asked them about their journey. He'd known it would come back around to him, and he'd prepared for it mentally. But it still made him want to scream.

"It was pretty uneventful until we passed through the City of Angels," he said.

"How was that?" she asked. "I've never been."

"It was... interesting," James said. "But I wouldn't recommend it. Turns out, the Gaea have a heavy presence there. They're not very friendly, so it turns out."

"Gaea," Elise said slowly, aounding it out and hoping James would clarify.

"They're a gang," James said steadily.

"I've heard of that name before," Alistair said. "That's the name of one of the tribal communities, isn't it?"

"That does seem to be the case," James answered.

Elise seemed too shell-shocked to say anything right away, so Alistair lightly cleared his throat and kept talking, glancing at Mel and Evaline.

"Seems like a bigger inconvenience than flying fire ants," he said.

James shrugged, feigning nonchalance.

"Maybe just a little," he said.

"James, that sounds terrible," Elise said, looking deeply concerned. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."

James faltered, glancing between Alistair and Elise. He put on a strained smile.

"Don't worry about it, Elise," he said. "But, thank you."

"If there's anything I can do to help, let me know and I'd be happy to do it," Elise offered. "It pains me to see you in great pain."

James laughed faintly in the back of his throat as his smile waned.

Was it that obvious, or did it really look that bad? He never really did take a look at his face. Though he did have a mirror...

"I'll let you know," he hesitated, glancing at Alistair. It was a perfect time for a subject change. He just couldn't think of anything for some godsforsaken reason.

Luckily, it seemed that Alistair was perceptive enough to notice.

"It's, uh..." he began, clearly not having anything in mind either. "It's a nice day outside, isn't it."

"Yes, nice and brisk," James said quickly.

"Sunny but chilly," he added.

"I'm more partial to warmer weather myself, but this actually isn't too bad," James continued, begging for Evaline and Mel to be done soon. He glanced back at them, and it looked like they were wrapping it up. Or at least, it looked like Eve was trying to, but kept getting distracted every time Mel talked.

"I am too," Alistair continued, painfully stretching this conversation.

Elise, meanwhile, was giving them both odd looks.

"Do you ever find your powers useful in keeping you warm?" James asked Alistair, deciding to take the reins on the conversation.

"It depends on my environment," he said, sounding relieved for the topic change. "On cold windy days, I could stay warm by converting the movement of air to heat. But a day like today would be more difficult."

"Ah, that makes sense," James said with a nod. "Was it a windy day when you learned fire was effective on fire ants?"

"It was," he replied. "You learn fast."

Finally, Evaline was walking towards them and broke the conversation.

"I brought Mel up to speed," Evaline said to James as Mel caught up to them. "Elise, Alistair. James finished with his yield and wanted to come to this trip, so I decided to leave early and take him to the City of Angels so he could be more familiar with different environments, including a modern society. Turns out it was a mistake since the city was infiltrated by a tribal gang. This happened a few days ago and we'd rather not talk about it. Okay?"

She sounded impatient, but her tone seemed to be mutually understood between them.

"Sounds like a tough time," Alistair said. "I understand."

"If there's anything I could do to help, just let me know," Elise said with an apologetic smile.

"We appreciate it, Elise, but we're fine right now," Evaline said.

"Evaline?" Mel said as she tapped her shoulder.

Evaline turned out to look at her. "Yes?"

"Could we talk with James?" Mel asked, glancing between her and James. "The three of us?"

Evaline looked over her shoulder at James for confirmation. James briefly flicked his eyes to Alistair and Elise, but gave Evaline a small nod and shrug.

"Sure," Evaline said after a hesitation. "Let's go that way."

She pointed closer towards the pond, then looked back at Alistair and Elise.

"Sorry. Catching up. Can you prepare dinner? We'll be back," she said.

"I can make the fire while Elise prepares dinner," Alistair offered instead, walking back to their camp while Elise nodded and left with him.

"Great," Evaline said as she watched them leave. "Let's go."

The three of them walked at a hastened pace, but James paused quickly to tie up Elliot to a tree before running behind them to catch up. They walked down the pond, behind a few large bushes and leafy trees so they were hidden from view.

"So," Mel said when they were a comfortable distance away from the others. She clapped her hands togeher and looked between them expectedly. "James told me about Nye. We're on the same page now, right?"

James looked to Evaline who also looked at him for an answer, then back at Mel.

"I told her you know," James said.

"I'm sure you didn't have time to go over everything," Evaline said. "But yes. Mostly on the same page."

"Mostly," Mel repeated, squinting her and darting her eyes between the two of them.

"To be fair, I think the hardest part is out of the way," James said. "I didn't think you'd believe I'm from another world in the first place."

Mel scoffed. "You were trying so hard to convince me. Of course I'd believe you. I'd be a bad friend if I didn't."

"And I'm grateful for it," James replied. "I was just saying."

Mel nodded. "Yeah. But now that I know, you don't have to keep hiding secrets from me anymore. Especially if it's super troubling. I'm here for you guys."

Evaline glanced at James again, like she was trying to have a wordless conversation on what to tell Mel, if anything. James wished he could communicate with words in return.

"We'll let you know," Evaline said simply.

"My power is literally deceiving others," Mel said with suspicion. "I know when something's off. And I feel like you're not saying the whole truth - especially since he's all beat up. I just want to make sure you're not in danger. Are you?"

Well that was a complicated question at best.

"Most of the wounds I've sustained were actually from a boxing tournament I willingly entered," James said slowly. He didn't know if Mel knew or not, but he knew Evaline had mentioned it was televised - which he understood the implications of well enough to know the news could've reached them.

Mel stared at him with surprised, wide eyes as her mouth opened just a little until it broke into a grin.

"You entered a boxing tournament?" she said with a silly grin.

"I got a sword out of it as a prize," James said with a shrug.

"You can use swords?!"

"On Nye, it's required for a soldier to know how to swordfight," James said. "I thought it might be useful in the ungoverned lands if we run into danger."

Mel hummed. "Have you used it yet to behead anything?" she asked, and James could see Evaline facepalm.

James furrowed his brows together.

"What?" he said. "No."

"I'm just saying," Mel said innocently. "It's kind of an old-fashioned weapon."

James gestured to himself by waving his arm up and down in front of him.

"Mel. I am 'old fashioned,'" he said as if it was obvious.

"Hah. Right, right," she said with a smirk. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised, though, that you're actually kind of bad ass?"

James squinted at her, and then looked at Evaline with the same look of mild confusion.

"Uh..." he said. "Thanks?"

"And you can fight. Like, old fashioned fighting and boxing and stuff," Mel continued. "And you... won, I assume? Because you got a sword?"

"I do have the sword to prove it," James said. "It's just on Elliot at the moment."

Sleepy decided to shift on his shoulder, and James lifted his hand to pet the little bird's head.

"Maybe later you can demo it for all of us," Mel said, but kept on talking before either of them could agree or protest. "But - that's it, then? You got beat up by contestants and then later by Gaea?"

James glanced at Evaline again.

"That about sums it up," he said.

"You are both soooo easy to read sometimes," Mel said with narrowed eyes as she crossed her arms. "You look at each other any time you're hiding something."

"Maybe I just want her input," James defended calmly.

"And maybe my inputs are glances to make sure he's comfortable talking about it," Evaline said just as calm.

Mel only seemed more suspicious, but then broke into a smile.

"The vibes are different between you two," she suddenly said. "What? Did something happen?"

Evaline, perhaps out of habit, glanced at James again. But she seemed to pick up that this was only proving Mel's point, so she sharply turned away after doing so.

"Besides me getting hurt?" James asked, playing dumb.

"Uh, yeah," Mel said like it was obvious. "You both suddenly seem like you're trying to protect each other."

"You make that sound like it's a bad thing," James said.

"Oh, it's not," she teased. "Nice to know that I'm right, though."

Evaline facepalmed again, deciding to not comment.

"Is that all?" James asked, looking to Mel.

"I just want you to know that I'm on your side, is all," Mel said a bit more seriously. "You both like to bottle up secrets and act like no one can ever know. You don't have to do that, you know."

James took in a deep breath, and this time shamelessly looked to Evaline. Although she was peering towards the pond, it looked like she was taking Mel's words to heart since her brows were drawn in concentration, like she was deep in thought.

James had a feeling they wouldn't be able to confidently tell Mel anything without conferring with one another first.

James turned to Mel.

"I can only speak for myself, but I have repeatedly been grateful for your kindness to lend a listening ear. But would you be able to give us a moment? Just a minute or two," James said.

"Sure, sure, of course," Mel said with a wave of her hand, already looking around to find a spot to walk to. "I'll be at the other side of the pond. Wave me over when you're ready."

James nodded.

"Thank you. Will do," he said. As she walked off, he turned to Evaline, waiting for her to speak what was on her mind first.

A short silence passed as it seemed that Evaline was giving him the same treatment, but then she blurted out her first thought.

"Did you want to tell her anything?" she asked, meeting his eyes.

James looked back at her with a small shrug.

"I don't think we need to bring up our past," he said quietly. "But I do wonder if it would be helpful to have a trusted ally in regards to our current situation with Oliver. Or even my powers. I considered telling her that the Gaea didn't just confront us randomly, and that it had to do with - you know - but I know that would only raise more questions. You know her better. I wanted to hear your side."

Evaline took a moment to collect her thoughts as she peered back over to the pond, careful to not look over at Mel.

"It's not that I don't trust Mel," she said softly. "I just don't trust Oliver. And I don't know what he knows. I don't know what he'd do if Mel was our ally. I don't want to put her in danger."

"Do you think she's already in any danger because of what I told her about Nye?" James asked gently.

"I don't think so," she said. "One is a fact that could be used as leverage against you. Another is a direct threat to Oliver's entire image. I don't want to run the risk, especially since they work together. That's why I've kept her in the dark for so long."

James nodded slowly.

"I'm assuming... she wouldn't be ready to leave her whole life behind in the same way you are," James said quietly. "If it were necessary."

"No," Evaline said in the same tone. "She has a family she found, and she has great love for so many people. I wouldn't ever put her in this place if I had the choice."

James glanced out from behind a tree, taking a quick, brief glance at Mel. She didn't happen to see him or catch his eyes, so he pulled away, looking to the ground in thought.

"If we're not going to tell her anything," James said slowly. "It might prove difficult to come up with a convincing lie or explanation for our apparent secrecy. I don't like the idea of lying to her extravagantly, but... I wonder what then we might tell her when I call her back."

Evaline was quiet for a moment, in thought. "We could say..." she began, but then faltered and abandoned the sentence. "I mean, the less people involved that know about Oliver, the better. I didn't even want you involved, but now we don't have a choice. There's a burden associated with telling others, and it's not in my place to give it, even if they ask for it."

"I understand," James said with a nod. "I guess... we can just stick with our story, then. At the end of the day, Mel can be suspicious all she wants, but we don't have to tell her anything. It will take a cost upon her friendship with you and I--"

"What do you want to tell her?" Evaline interrupted.

James met Evaline's eyes. She looked genuinely curious, and also serious.

"I don't know if I actually do want to tell her anything," James said softly. "Not if it would jeopardize her safety."

"We could instead only tell her things that wouldn't jeopardize her safey," she offered instead.

James frowned in thought.

"I'm just worried about the possibility of telling her half the picture, and her figuring things out anyway," James said.

"I know," Evaline said softly, looking across the pond again, but averting her eyes to Mel. "But she doesn't assume the worst. I guess what we could do... is feed her bread crumbs, just to get her off our backs. And we can let her fill in the dots herself, but not confirm anything. I know it's dishonest, but..."

James was more than familiar with being dishonest. It still hurt, though, especially when you knew the person was really trying to be there and listen.

"That was going to be my suggestion," he said soberly. He just didn't like it.

"I'm glad we're on the same page," she said, although she didn't sound too enthusiastic. "Do you have any thoughts on what little to feed her?"

"Well... since she was already pressing about what happened in the City of Angels," James said. "I could mention that I was captured, but we could leave out the why, and how we escaped. Or we could twist the truth and come up with some other vague reason for how we got away. Maybe we could allude that I was captured because I appeared out of nowhere for the comeptition, and it was supposed to be rigged, so they were angry and wanted payback. Something like that."

"That could work," Evaline said with a slow nod. "Using the competition as a reason why you were captured. It makes the most sense, since no one knew who you were until then. Maybe they wanted a rematch off the rings, and they took you in and captured you anyways when you refused."

"And they wanted a rematch with powers," James said. "Which... could explain everything else."

She nodded again. "That's believeable. Everyone would understand if the rematch was unfair and cruel. As for escaping..." She paused for a moment. "We don't have to go into the specifics, but I think it's believeable if we said I saved you by going back and being able to run through the fight unscathed. It's a partial truth."

James pursed his lips and looked down to the ground.

"Or we could just say after the fight, they left me for dead and you found me then," he suggested.

"We could say that," Evaline said. "But... and I know it doesn't matter, but I don't like how heartless that sounds. Like there was a possibility you could have died, and I ran the risk until the end."

James looked up at her, apologizing with his eyes.

"That's fair," he said quietly. "We can go with your version."

"We don't even have to lay out the full story," she quickly said, like she didn't mean to offend. "Just have her ask the questions, and we fill in the blanks."

James nodded, trying to give Evaline a look of assurance that it was okay.

"And the two of us are pretty good at thinking up things on the spot," he said, offering a small smile. "So we should be okay."

"There's one more thing," she said after briefly matching his smile, although it was strained. "I don't know the details of how you talked about me when you told her about Nye, but considering how tense things were between us back then - I'd understand if it wasn't particularly pleasant. Given that, I don't know if she completely buys the story of me deciding to take you along to this long trip because you were bored in Terra. I can see her asking more about that too. A motive of sorts."

"Is me wanting to come for Elise's sake not enough?" James said.

"Maybe for you," she said. "But I know I wouldn't let you go just for that reason, and yet we traveled together. Mel would know that too."

James sighed, looking up to the trees, deciding to backtrack a little.

"When I talked to Mel about you, I didn't say a lot," he said. "I let her do more of the talking about us based on what she heard from you, and confirmed what was true or not, and corrected what was different. Most of it was just little things, like how the context was slightly different in Nye versus the Earth version you gave her. But I did tell her I care about you very much... so, there is that as a motive."

He paused, hesitantly looking back down to Evaline. Her arms were crossed as her gaze was fixed on the ground, like she was intensely studying it. She bit her lip, and he noticed that her cheeks were slightly rosier than usual.

"I'm sure she'd buy it without hesitation," he said. "But I don't know if we want to invite... more questions."

He was talking around it, but he hoped Evaline understood.

"You're right that she'd likely buy that," she said with a neutral voice after the pause started to feel too long. "Do you think... if that were the case, that you'd tell me that? If I told you in Terra that I was going to be gone for six months?"

James blinked slowly.

"I can't tell you how things might've gone differently," he said. "I... think you know I wasn't in a very good place even two weeks ago. So I don't know if I would've told you, but the truth is still the same whether or not I would have said it or not."

"I'm just trying to figure out what you would have said to me to convince me to bring you along," Evaline said quickly, glossing over his answer. "That's why I asked."

James watched Evaline, feeling his heartrate rise as anxiety started to seep in. This was more than just a hypothetical situation that she was talking about - and she had to know it too. Neither of them had said anything outright, and he knew on his part, it was because he was afraid that doing so might make everything fall apart. But now it almost sounded like she was asking him to.

"Or - or maybe if she asks, you can fill in the details with her only," Evaline continued when he didn't immediately respond. "That seems realistic anyways."

James let another short silence pass, but spoke before Evaline could break it. He knew she was getting nervous too.

"Do you want to know what I would have said?" he asked.

"That's the thing," she said softly as she finally looked up to meet his eyes. "In this hypothetical situation, would I even have had the choice?"

"The choice to leave me in Terra or take me with you?" James asked.

"To listen to what you have to say," she said instead. "If you knew I was going to be gone that long, would you have spoken your mind anyways? I know it's hard to say given what actually happened your last weeks there, but Mel didn't know that, and she doesn't need to know. But what if that didn't happen? I don't know, I guess I'm just trying to piece together this hypothetical that's layered one on top of another, and it's hard to say. I'm just trying to piece it together. Of what could have happened to lead to this moment if Oliver wasn't involved."

James took in a deep breath.

"If you had come to Terra and told me that you would be gone for six months or longer, with no way to contact you or see you," he said steadily. "I think, provided I had the courage, I would have told you that - unknowingly - I had waited five years to see you again, and that I didn't know if I could bear to miss you that much longer."

Evaline tore her gaze away, clenching her arms a little tighter as she seemed to take a moment to hold on to his words, thinking it over.

"I think," she began after another short silence passed. "I think I wouldn't have wanted you to be unhappy. And if you were happy to leave everything behind in Terra and join me in a trip that was full of uncertainty, I would have let you." She paused for a moment. "After sleeping on it."

"And I think I would have been overjoyed when you said yes," James said softly.

"And I don't think I'd have understood why," she said just as soft. "But seeing you happy made me happy, and that was enough."

"I think we have our story, then," James said with a small smile.

"I think so too," Evaline said, mirroring his smile. "But, um... knowing her, she would want to know the details. And knowing her, she wouldn't press for it with the both of us present. But at least we both share the same story."

"We're both on the same page, now," he echoed.

"That we are," she said, using his phrase.

James smiled a little bigger.

"Should I wave her back over, then?" he asked.

Evaline nodded. "Yeah. We're ready. Let's bring her in."

James took the liberty to step out into Mel's view and aggressively waved her over. She caught his eyes and hurriedly came back around, eventually walking back through the bushes and stopping a few feet in front of them.

"That was a lot longer than one or two minutes," Mel commented with a smirk as her eyes darted between the two of them expectedly. "Seems like you both had a lot to talk about."

"Yes, we're just overflowing with conversation," James said with a sarcastic smirk. The smirk faded quickly, though, and he took in a deep breath, straightening up a little.

"So?" she went on. "Was there something you wanted to tell me?"

James nodded, and cleared his throat.

"Yes," he said slowly. "It's... about The City of Angels. The tournament was only half the story. And as I'm sure you can deduce, boxing doesn't result in..."

He paused, gesturing to himself. "All of this."

"I've had my suspicions," Mel said, visibly eyeing the injuries around his face and neck. "Go on."

"We did run into the Gaea," James said. "But it wasn't an accident. They found me after the fight. As it turns out, the tournament was supposed to be rigged in their favor - but when I appeared out of nowhere and won it, it ruffled a lot of feathers. As I'm sure you can imagine, they weren't happy, and they wanted a rematch. But... with different rules. The tournament I entered was a competition without the use of powers or weapons. Just yourself. But they got rid of those rules when they took me to an underground fight. The odds were already stacked against me, and I don't have any offensive or defensive powers. So..."

He paused, taking in a deep breath.

"I obviously didn't win."

With each passing sentence, Mel's eyebrows arched up in concern, and her big brown eyes were flooded with empathy as she looked up at him.

"That's awful, James," she said sadly. "They beat you up because they couldn't handle a loss. That's terrible and so mean. You didn't do anything wrong."

James nodded slightly, and met her eyes with a sad smile.

"I know. I'm just... I'm lucky Evaline was able to get me out of it before it got worse," he said. "She was able to use her powers to go back and figure out a way to save me. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her."

"Awww," Mel cooed softly as she lightly poked Evaline's arm. "Look at you. Back to saving people for the greater good."

Evaline forced a small smile, but otherwise didn't visibly react. "Yeah," she said. "I couldn't just leave him. Like you said, he didn't do anything wrong."

Mel nodded. "Right," she said, then turned her attention back to James. "That's so awful. I'm glad you're both okay, though. You don't think that you pissed them off enough that they'd come back, would they?"

James raised his brows.

"I, for one, don't plan on returning to the City of Angels," he said. "Not after that. As for whether they'd try to find us, I can't say for certain, but we were able to make it here without anyone tailing us. At least, from what I was able to see."

"The City of Angels is so sketchy," she mused. "Why did you guys go through it?"

"It was only supposed to be a brief visit to get supplies," Evaline said.

"I, mainly, wanted a sword," James added. "Which I'm fortunate we were still able to walk away with after all the trouble it caused me."

"I also prepped James ahead of time of hidden dangers. We were only supposed to be passing through, really," Evaline continued.

Mel hummed. "Hmm, okay," she said. "Well, I've been through there once, and people weren't nice. Good to know that it's overrun by a gang, though, I guess. Sorry that you had to learn that the hard way."

"Well, now we can warn people like you to stay away," James said with a slight smile. "Trust me, it's not worth the trip."

"Good idea," Mel said, then paused. "But if you didn't get ambushed after the tournament, then it wasn't all that bad, was it?"

James's eyes slowly drifted to the side as he recalled the events before the kidnapping.

"I guess not," he said with a shrug, not wanting to reveal much.

"So, really, if you didn't do the tournament, then it wouldn't have been too bad," Mel reiterated.

"I didn't want him to do the tournament," Evaline said as she looked at him with a slightly raised brow.

"If I had known it would've turned out the way it did," James said, looking back at Evaline. "I wouldn't have done it. But it's past that, now."

"Yeah," Evaline agreed as she lingered her gaze on him for a little longer before turning back to Mel. "I'm just glad we made it out. I don't want to return."

Mel was smirking, eyes darting between the two of them again.

"Interesting," she said innocently. "Seems like the tournament ruined an otherwise good trip, huh."

"You keep saying that," James said, giving Mel an unimpressed look. "I think we get it."

"I'm just waiting for you to elaborate on why it was a good trip, if all you were doing was getting supplies and passing through," she said with the same innocent voice, shrugging.

James blinked slowly and sighed.

"A lot it was just us working in exchange for supplies," James said. "I built and repaired a lot of things. Evaline did some art."

"Is that all?"

James sighed. Fine. He'd throw her a bone, and hopefully this would satisfy her, and they could at least gloss over the modeling thing. Mel didn't need to know about that bizarre experience.

He raised his brows as he held eye contact with her and he reached into his coat pocket, pulling out his harmonica.

"I played some music," he said. "That's all."

Mel hummed, staring at his harmonica. "And where'd you get that?" she asked.

James let a short seconds pass, offering Evaline the chance to speak, but then swooped in.

"It was one of the things that came over with me from Nye," he said. "Elliot was brought here with of all of my things."

Mel seemed to lean in a little more, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Is that so?" she said in a teasing voice.

It appeared that Mel had reason to doubt.

"Upset I never told you before?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Seems mighty convenient that you now have an instrument," she said. "That's all."

"If you don't believe me," James said, meeting her eyes challengingly. "Just say so."

"Hendrik told me that we should look into getting you an instrument to pass the time," Mel said as she looked into his eyes just as intensely. "So now I'm trying to figure out the motive of the lie."

James's challenging gaze softened only ever so slightly - but not because she'd caught him in his lie - it was because he hadn't expected Hendrik to care about getting him an instrument. James hadn't even told Hendrik which instrument he played.

But he could salvage this.

"I'm embarassed to say," he said, leading up to it.

"Well, now I have to know," Mel said with the beginnings of a grin.

"It's just that... I didn't want to give Hendrik one more thing to tease me about," he said, his voice lowering in shame. He looked to the side. "I didn't know he was actually interested."

"Oh. Gosh, James," Mel said, the concern seeping back into her voice. She seemed to buy the lie. "Hendrik doesn't even seem to want to tease you anymore. You'll probably see him in a few weeks, you know. Maybe you could play a song for him."

James offered Mel a shy smile.

"After I apologize for lying about something so petty, I suppose," he said.

Evaline cleared her throat. "Does that answer your questions, Mel?" she asked. "I don't want to keep the others waiting for too long."

Sleepy chirped on James's shoulder, like she agreed. James looked over at her with a slight smile, petting her beak with his finger to tell her to be quiet.

Mel giggled at Sleepy's chirp. "For now," she said. "But we're up to speed. Can I talk to James and the chicky? Because he gives good relationship advice and I'm tired of Alistair's dead stare any time I ask him something."

Evaline gave James an odd look, then glanced between the two of them before looking back over the direction of the camp.

"I... guess that's fine," she said, sounding more confused than anything before looking back over at James. "See you in a bit?"

James offered her a small smile.

"Yeah."

Evaline nodded and started to head back, glancing over her shoulder one last time at them before disappearing behind the bushes to head back.

Mel seemed to wait a couple more seconds to make sure she was out of earshot before turning to James and saying, "Okay. You've probably figured this out, but I don't actually need relationship advice." She paused for just a brief second. "You know, your last advice worked out pretty great, though. Thanks for that."

"I'm glad I was able to help," James said, looking at Mel expectantly. Sleepy seemed to be getting restless, so James scooped her up in his hands, letting her walk in circles in his palms.

"I didn't just want to outright ask this in case it was sensitive," Mel continued as she watched Sleepy walk around in his palms. "But none of us even expected you to be here, and I definitely didn't expect Evaline to let you come to this trip and even follow her. So, my question is..." She looked up to meet his eyes, and he could tell that she was serious. "Did you come on this trip with more intentions than simply helping Elise?"

James didn't mean to break eye contact, but Sleepy almost walked off his hand, so he had to catch her and cup the little chick in his hands to keep her from running off.

"...The short answer is yes," he said quietly. "Evaline and I talked two weeks ago, in Terra. She wasn't planning on letting me come, at first. She told me she was going to be gone for at least six months - possibly more if things didn't go as planned. It was..."

He trailed off. Not because he was unclear on the story he was going to tell, but for the delivery of it. He let out a sigh.

"I told her I'd miss her, and I wanted to come. Evaline was unsure at first, so she slept on it before agreed to let me come with her."

He paused again, briefly.

"She... wanted me to be happy," he said quietly. "Wants me to be happy."

"And are you happy?" Mel asked with sudden gentleness in her voice.

James looked down at Sleepy, who was now reluctantly curling up in his hands. He patted her soft, feathery head.

"Yes," he said softly. "With her."

Mel nodded slowly, like she was letting all of this in and trying to be careful with her next words.

"We talked last time about how you've missed her, and how you had a lot of regret over what happened in the past. I guess I just don't want you to get hurt again..." she said, then trailed off for a second. "Do you know if you make her happy too?"

James looked out past Mel, over the pond, where he could faintly make out Evaline with Elise and Alistair, and Elliot standing nearby.

"I think so..." he said softly.

"I know it's really none of my business," Mel said softly as well. "But don't you think, to be truly happy, it would have to go both ways?"

James still kept his eyes on the distant, blurry silhouette of Evaline.

"Sometimes it's enough just to be close," he said quietly.

"I understand," Mel said gently. "I mean, she's letting you travel with her, which must mean something. And you obviously still like her, but it would kill me if it didn't work out the way you thought it would."

"I think it's mutual," he said. "We're just... going slower this time. I'm okay with that. Life rarely works out like how we imagine it to. I'm just trying to treasure what I have now."

Mel nodded slowly, like she was unpacking a lot of what he said.

"So, backtracking a bit. You agree with me then," she said. "That you still really like her."

James finally tore his gaze away from Evaline, but he looked back down at Sleepy instead.

"I never stopped," he said, giving Sleepy another gentle pet.

"Awww," Mel cooed at first, but then slipped back into the questions. "Okay. Romantic. But - you really think it's mutual, then? Does she like you just as much?"

James didn't look up at her.

"Shouldn't you be asking her that question?" he asked.

"If I did, would you want to know the answer?"

"I believe she likes me in return," he said simply.

Probably more.

"I'm only asking you all this because I've seen hopeless romantics like you chasing leads that don't go anywhere, and it makes me sad when they come back all brokenhearted," Mel said. "But it doesn't seem like I shouldn't be concerned if you think she likes you too."

"I appreciate that you're trying to look out for me," James said. "But the moment anyone feels deep affection for another person and allows themselves to feel it, they're always taking a risk. Be it romantic or not. I'm aware of the risk I'm taking, and I think that Evaline is worth it. I don't think you need to be concerned."

Mel smiled. "Remember when I toyed with you all so I could figure out what your true intentions were?" she asked. "Well, I can say with confidence now that your intentions are good and pure. So congratulations, you passed my test."

James looked up to Mel and met her eyes with a slight smile.

"I'm honored to have the approval of one of Evaline's dear friends," he said.

She let out a small laugh. "You don't suppose that she'd find it rude if I actually did ask for relationship advice based on your relationship with her?"

"I don't know about rude," James said. "But it may be in poor taste. I'm sure you could ask her for relationship advice without using her and I as reference."

"Now that is good advice," Mel said with a bigger smile. "It'll be a long six months, but I'm glad you came along."

She then reached out and patted Sleepy's head.

"And you too, little chicky," she cooed.

Sleepy rubbed her head against Mel's hand, nuzzling it.

"Her name is Sleepy," James said. "She's very affectionate."

"Awwww," Mel continued to coo. "What a cute lil pet."

Mel and James hurried back to the others, and by the time they came back, it smelled like Elise had something cooking over the fire. James made sure to feed Sleepy first, and he gave Elliot a snack before leaving him to graze among the trees. Eventually they all settled down and gathered around the fire, sharing in the stew she'd made, talking idly in between bites.

The fire was crackling distantly as night started to fall, and the stars peeked out into the darkening sky. From here, they couldn't see the sunset on the horizon, but it peeked through the top of the trees, and the cloudless sky shifted hues. The warmth that the sun mildly provided in the day was starting to wane, and James found himself grateful for the fire Alistair had started. While they were far from freezing, James could feel a bit of a chill.

"So, now that James and Evaline are here, I was wondering if you guys could get me some fresh perspective on my new relationship," Mel said after the conversation about the food lulled to a natural end.

Alistair groaned. "Not this again," he grumbled between bites.

"What?" Mel said innocently. "You didn't even give me good advice. Elise did. I'd like to get more opinions. Is that so bad?"

She looked up at James and Evaline, like she was waiting for one of them to ask her what was on her mind.

"Is this about Luis again?" James asked.

"No," Mel said with a smile, like she was grateful that he took the iniative to ask. "That was short-lived. Now I'm back with Jack, but we're getting more serious now."

Alistair groaned again like he was sick of hearing this story, but Mel ignored him.

"Jack," James repeated. "That's the guy from Terra that you went on about?"

"Yeah!" Mel said. "So, you both know him."

"Know is too familiar of a word. I'm aware of him, though," James said.

"That's fine, you don't really need to know him for this anyways," she continued. "But he wants to be exclusive, which is fine - all part of dating, you know? And it's been pretty good this past month. But now he's getting all serious, wanting to spend a lot of time with me, and giving me flowers, trying to show affection when he can. Not that that's bad. But at what point does casual turn into a relationship?"

"Elise already said that you just need to communicate with him more," Alistair cut in, gesturing to Elise, who was offering a nervous smile like she didn't want to be be used as the scapegoat.

"I'm inclined to agree," James said. "In order for things to progress in any direction, you need to talk to him about whether you want things to be more serious or not. If he's already been dropping hints, I'd say you should just talk to him. Though I'm surprised he hasn't initiated the conversation already."

"Yeah, I am surprised he hasn't initiated the conversation already," Mel echoed. "So, that must mean I should do it if he never does it, right?"

James made eye contact with Mel, but didn't let any emotions leak throug his eyes. He knew what she was doing, and it wasn't necessary, or helpful.

"I wouldn't say you have to," James said. "If he seems fine with things being more casual and isn't putting any pressure on you to get serious, and you're fine with it being casual and don't want to put any pressure on him either, then you can wait until you both know what you want. I think the key in that is to communicate that you don't know, so that you both can be on the same page. Really, like Elise said, it just boils down to communication. Be it talking about keeping it casual or getting more serious."

Mel hummed. "What do you think, Alistair?" she asked.

"I agree," he said plainly and quickly, and Mel rolled her eyes because it was obvious he was only saying that to not contribute.

"Elise?" she asked.

"As with any new relationship, it can be tough to communicate these things," Elise said with a small smile. "But James said it well. You just need to communicate your needs and wants to each other for it to work out."

Mel nodded and then slowly turn towards Evaline, who hadn't said anything thus far. "What do you think, Evaline?" she said.

Evaline didn't even look up from her bowl of soup as she contemplated the question for a moment.

"It sounds like before you communicate, you need to figure out what you want, first," she said. "Then you can communicate it if you want."

"How do I know what I want, though?" Mel countered. "I haven't been in a serious relationship in... I don't even know."

Evaline had eaten a spoonful of the stew and seemed to assume that someone else was going to answer this, but when it became clear that Mel was still talking to her, she quickly swallowed it down to speak again.

"I don't know," she said. "That's something only you can answer. What do you look for in a relationship?"

Mel hummed again. "Stability, I think, would be a change I'm not used to. But mostly, I just want someone who would prioritize me and love me the way I am, you know?"

"What do you mean, prioritize you?" Evaline suddenly cut in as she looked up at her.

Mel blinked. "Uh. Like, he puts my needs above his? Or at least--"

"Shouldn't you be prioritizing him?" she interrupted. "It sounds one-sided if you don't reciprocate that."

Mel seemed to think this over for a bit.

"Little harsh there, Evaline," Alistair said lowly as a short silence passed.

"She asked me for my opinion," Evaline said flatly with a small twirl of her hand as she returned her attention back to her bowl. "I gave my opinion."

"I think, ideally," James cut in quietly. "You would want to prioritize each other. Mutually."

Mel nodded slowly. "Right. Hm. And if we don't talk yet, how do we know if we've both reached that point?"

"Do you know if you've reached that point?" James asked.

"I don't," Mel said. "So how do you tell?"

James could see right through her. She wasn't asking any of this for herself. She was trying to get at him and Evaline, and he could see it in her eyes.

"You'll know," he said, making piercing eye contact.

Mel narrowed her eyes at him, but their eye contact was interrupted when Evaline spoke again.

"I think if you have to ask yourself that question, the answer is no," she said as she spun the stew around with her spoon. "So, it sounds like you're not ready yet."

"Intersting," Mel said, returning back to the act. "So what do you think I should do, then? Wait? Ask? Do nothing? Break it off?"

"You could wait," Evaline said. "But you shouldn't be expecting change overnight."

"So you're saying it takes time, then, to figure out what I want, and it'll come naturally," Mel clarified.

"I... sure," Evaline said, spinning the spoon in her bowl a little faster.

"What?" Mel prodded. "Am I missing anything?"

"No," James cut in calmly. "It just takes time."

Mel nodded then turned back to Alistair again. "Do you agree with that?" she asked him.

"Uh huh," was all he said.

"Sometimes all you can do is wait," Elise offered without prompt. "And there's nothing wrong with that."

"Hmm. Okay," Mel said with a shrug. "Thanks, everyone. I'll, uh, let you know an update in six months."

"If this is even relevant in six months," Alistair mumbled, causing Mel to shoot him a huffy look.

James was glad when the conversation died down for a bit after that, and then picked up on a completely different topic.

After they finished their meal, James volunteered silently to help Elise start cleaning things up. Alistair breathed more life into the fire, and Mel realized that their stored water was low, and needed to be refilled and filtered. She asked Evaline to go help her fetch some more - and while it wasn't a long walk to the pond's, it was a bit of a distance to get to a comfortable clear spot at its edge, seeing as it was overcrowded with plants and wildlife.

As night came, crickets and other nighttime bugs seemed to start buzzing and singing in the dark, filling the night with a constant background noise as everyone went about their business.

Eventually, James found himself at a loss for how to help, since there was only one cloth for washing all of the dishes, and Elise seemed to be letting them dry on a rock. He ended up sitting by the fire with Alistair, who sat across from him. He held Sleepy in his lap, and lowered Sleepy onto the ground in front of him, watching as she started pecking around on the ground, but herding her with his hands so she didn't stray too far or into the fire.

"Did the chicken come from Terra?" Alistair asked, breaking the silence as he watched Sleepy peck the ground.

James glanced up at Alistair.

"Oh," James said. "No, actually. She was a gift. From Hendrik."

"Ah," he said with a nod. "That's thoughtful of him."

"Yeah," James said, stopping Sleepy from walking towards the fire with his hand. "Do you like animals? Would you like to hold her?"

Alistair seemed to perk up a little. "I study animals more than I pet them," he said. "But I wouldn't turn down an offer to hold a chick."

James glanced up at Alistair with a small smile and scooped Sleepy up into his hands.

"Well, come over here, then," he said. He held up his hands, and Sleepy chirped excitedly, probably just because he was lifting her up like it was significant.

Wordlessly, Alistair crawled closer to James, sitting next to him as he offered his hands to take Sleepy. James gently plopped Sleepy down into Alistair's hands and Sleepy started to chirp curiously in little high-pitched peeps. She then started pecking at his fingers, though not aggressively. James watched with a small smile.

"I think she's trying to eat my fingers," Alistair said with a smirk as he wiggled his fingers, prompting Sleepy to peck at it some more.

"I think she's just curious," James mused. "Though if you offered her food, I'm sure you'd make a lifelong friend."

"I'd say I wouldn't want to be the reason she's overfed, but it's hard for me to pass that up," Alistair said as he kept his eyes on Sleepy.

"She can have something small," James said as he reached into his jacket pocket. He dug around for a moment before pulling out a little pouch. He untied it and reached in, taking out a pinch of chicken feed.

"Give me one of your hands," James said. Since obviously, one needed to be occupied by the baby chicken.

Alistair led Sleepy on one palm as he brought her closer to his chest for balance, and then offered his other hand towards James, palm facing up.

James sprinkled the small amount of feed into his palm.

"There," James said with a teasing smirk. "Now she'll really try to eat your hand."

"How kind of you," Alistair said with his own smirk as he brought his hand back over to Sleepy, who immediately began pecking at the feed in quick movements. "I didn't think I'd be feeding a chicken on this trip, but stranger things have happened."

"I consider it a happy surprise," James said. "You can pet her, too, if you want. She loves the attention."

A short silence stretched on as Alistair let Sleepy feet on his hands, and he used his thumb closest to her to pat her head.

"If you'd have told me that someone would be traveling through the ungoverned lands with a horse and a chicken, I'd have thought that was the start of a joke," he said idly, still petting Sleepy.

"You could probably make it into a joke, honestly," James hummed. "I don't mind being a punchline. I'm self-aware enough to know I look a little ridiculous. Or, at least, odd."

"Maybe a little odd," Alistair said as he looked up, but out towards Elliot. "But there's nothing wrong with being a little ridiculous sometimes."

"I agree," James said with a slight smile. He followed Alistair's gaze, though delayed, and then looked back to Alistair.

"Want to formally meet Elliot too?" James asked as his smile grew.

"I would really like that, actually," Alistair said as he offered Sleepy back to him.

James scooped Sleepy up and then lifted her up to his shoulder, where she comfortably cuddled up against his coat collar, as was becoming her routine. James got to his feet and waved with his hand for Alistair to follow as he make the short walk over to Elliot.

"Hey, buddy," James said softly. He reached out and gave Elliot a pet down his nose. "I want you to meet a friend of mine."

Elliot flicked his ears forward curiously as Alistair came up behind him, and James moved to the side so that they could stand on either side of Elliot's head, so he could see both of them.

Alistair looked like he was preoccupied studying Elliot curiously.

"It's amazing how muscular horses are," he mused. "Before technology, they were primarily used as modes of transportation. And sculptists at the time tried to model a horse, but it was difficult with how muscular they could be. I think I can understand that now."

James couldn't help but watch Alistair with an amused grin. He could understand how weird it was for everyone else to interact with him, as someone from the past, but for once it felt nice to know more about something than the others, even if it was just about horses.

James scratched behind Elliot's ear, and Elliot happily leaned his head into James's chest.

"They are very strong animals," James said. "Physically, but also in heart and in spirit."

He looked down to Elliot for confirmation, roughing up his mane before fixing it with a little smile.

"It's even more impressive that they are herbivores," Alistair continued, still watching Elliot with curiosity. "Makes you wonder how they get all their strength."

James couldn't help but smile a little mischievously as he patted Elliot on the neck.

"It does make you wonder, doesn't it," he said.

Alistair nodded, glancing between the two of them, but he still made no effort to reach out to Elliot.

James tiled his head to the side.

"Go on," he said. "Elliot loves to be smothered. I know, because he demands to be all the time."

Alistair smiled a bit, then finally slowly reached out his hand to touch Elliot's neck, rubbing it gently at first.

"They're a lot smoother than I thought they'd be," he commented. "I thought they'd be rougher. But also, smaller."

"Horses can come in smaller sizes," James said. "But Elliot is average, at least, in size. So you can consider him a standard."

"I can't even imagine a bigger horse," Alistair said as he began to pet Elliot's neck up and down.

"They do exist," James said. "Or... well, used to, I mean. We call them draft horses. They were often used for pulling heavy loads. Or carrying bigger people."

"Were you a rancher in the past?" he asked.

"For a portion of my life, yes," he said. "Though, admittedly, I worked more with cattle. But horses too. I've been around horses all my life."

Alistair nodded, combing his fingers through Elliot's mane. "It's a shame that Elliot might very well be the last horse on the planet," he said. "At least, that we know of. Maybe we just haven't found any more."

"I'm trying to keep Elliot in the dark about that," James said, briefly pretending to cover one of Elliot's ears. "But... I'm glad I have him. I think we're both the last of our kind, in one way or another."

"You mean, because you're not from this time," Alistair said, treating the statement as a question.

"Yes," James said, scratching under Elliot's chin. "And neither is Elliot."

For a moment, they both were preoccupied showering Elliot with affection.

"Do you miss it?" Alistair suddenly asked.

James still had his eyes on Elliot, but he allowed his eyes to soften.

"Sometimes," he said quietly. "Not as much as I thought I would, though."

Alistair nodded slowly, letting another small silence pass as he pet a different spot of Elliot's neck.

"I'm glad this year is treating you well, then," he simply said.

James let out a faint laugh.

"That's one way to put it," he said weakly, avoiding eye contact as he brushed Elliot's mane with his hands.

"Out of curiosity, what do you like more about this time period than the one you are familiar with?" Alistair asked.

James paused, taking time to give the question genuine thought. He hummed.

"Well... there are more powered people," James said quietly. "I guess, in that way, I don't feel as alone anymore."

"It does seem that the rest of us take that for granted," Alistair said. "Although, to us, your power isn't visible, so that is ironic. Except for Evaline, maybe."

"If you never used your power around me, I wouldn't know you had one either, you know," James countered, though it was a non-argumentative observation.

"Right," Alistair said with a small smirk. "And are you still able to use your power now?"

James considered that his answer could potentially leak back to Oliver. Only Evaline and Oliver knew about the dreams. He hadn't even told Mel about them, really. Or that he'd started dreaming again. He decided to use the same excuse he gave Oliver, even though it was a blatant lie.

He looked down at Elliot, conveying a sense of unease and shame in his expression.

"Actually, no..." he said quietly. "I haven't. But I suppose it was never very strong or frequent in the first place."

"There's nothing wrong with having a niche or weak power," Alistair said, seemingly able to detect his faked expression. "But, if you're interested, maybe Oliver could help since they're somewhat similar."

"We've talked about it a little bit already," James said. "But I think it would make sense to wait until this trip is over to figure more of it out. I think I'll be a little too preoccupied with everything else in the ungoverned lands to worry about my useless power."

"If you somehow are able to activate it in the trip, I think it's fitting that you travel with Evaline then," Alistair said. "Potentially free practice."

James nodded. "That does sound wise," he hummed. "It's not like I can heal people, or make fire. Though if I could do what you do... man, that would be so useful. You know how many fires I've had to make from scratch?"

Alistair shrugged. "Powers related to fire are somewhat common. And of course - hard to control, and hard to predict. I would much rather have something more subtle, even if it's 'useless' by other people's standards."

James nodded slowly.

"Fair point. I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side," he commented.

"Not unless you burn it," Alistair dead-panned.

James reached over and gently patted Alistair's arm.

"Please don't burn your grass," he dead-panned back.

Alistair smirked, just a little. "I'll try not to. Thanks."

James smirked back, and gave Elliot one last quick pat before he pulled away.

"Well, I don't want to leave Elise all alone with the dishes for too long," he said. He did genuinely feel bad that she kept getting pushed aside. He nodded with his head back towards the fire.

She was just so... nice. So genuinely sweet, he didn't know what to do with it. He didn't know if he could remember meeting someone so innocently kind, with such pure intentions. It was his gut instinct to consider that a red flag, but he was beginning to think that maybe for Elise, that was all real. It wasn't a ruse, because there was nothing to see through. That was just how she was.

Alistair gave James a silent nod before the two of them walked back and sat around the fire. Elise looked like she was just finishing up, and she departed from their bags and joined the two of them around the fire.

"Elliot is a beautiful creature, isn't he?" Elise said as they sat.

"He is," Alistair agreed. "Thanks for letting me see him."

"Of course," James said dismissively, then looked to Elise. He was going to ask if she wanted to meet Elliot too, but she spoke first.

"And thank you again for coming to the trip," Elise said. "It's funny how I found you when you first arrived, and now here we are, traveling together."

James thought back to when she'd first met him, and he couldn't help but feel a sudden rush of embarassment. He laughed weakly.

"About that," he said. "I'm -- I'm sorry for how I acted on that first day you found me. You were very patient and kind, and I was not."

Elise looked surprised at first, but then laughed lightly and shook her hand out in front of her like she was trying to dismiss his embarrassment.

"That's kind of you to say," she said. "But I thought nothing of it. It's quite alright - I'm just glad you came around."

James smiled, trying to ease out of his own embarassment.

"Me too," he said.

"So, James," Elise continued when a short silence passed. "All of us grew up together in the same sector, and we went to the same school. I hope you don't feel left out or out of the loop when we converse."

"I think my whole situation has me feeling 'out of the loop,' so to speak," James said. "But I don't, really. I'm honestly surprised. Normally, I tend to blend in the background."

Elise smiled. "I'm glad that you feel included. Who knows, maybe if you were born in our time period instead of yours, you'd still be friends with everyone and be traveling with us right now anyways."

Maybe not everyone. Namely people like Malkiel, Tula, and Katya.

James smiled in return.

"Maybe," he said. "But I feel priveliged to have met all of you now."

"I feel pretty priveliged to have met someone like you too," Elise said.

James held his smile for a moment as he thought of how to direct the conversation in a different direction, but Elise swooped in again.

"Alistair, have you ever told James about the context of how we all met?" Elise asked. "I feel like references will come up in the future, especially when we get closer to our destination. And I wouldn't want James to not understand."

"No," Alistair said. "I figured Mel or Evaline would have told him."

"They mentioned you grew up together and went to the same school," James said. "But not much more than that, really."

Alistair shrugged. "That about sums it up."

"Alistair," Elise scolded with a small laugh. "Doesn't that grossly oversimply it?"

"Well, if you must know," Alistair continued as he looked at James. "Evaline, Mel, and Elias were in one class group, and Arima, myself, and my brother were in another. We only really intermingled because Evaline and Arima were related. So - that's the connection. And obviously, we saw Elise sometimes because she was always looking after Elias. But this was when we were all kids. We've all gone our own ways now."

James nodded, not wanting to pry too much. He looked to Elise instead.

"How long were you all in school together?" he asked.

"All eighteen years," Elise answered. "But I don't think the six of you became friends until later, right, Alistair?"

"Yeah," Alistair said. "I know Evaline and Elias were friends for longer. I didn't really get to know them until Mel came along. I want to say we were twelve at the time. It's been a while."

James was trying to do the math. Mel, Alistair, Elias, Evaline... presumably Alan. The other in the 'six' had to be Arima, then, since Elise left herself out of the group. Did that mean Alan and Alistair were brothers? Or was his brother someone else? James didn't think it was his place to ask. Of course, they didn't know that he knew more of their history. So it would make sense if he asked an insensitive question without meaning to.

The problem was that he didn't want to make things tense. He didn't know if the shared trauma of their past was long behind them, or if they would even mention it or not.

"It sounds like you all have a lot of history," he decided to say.

"Like I said," Alistair prefaced. "This was when we were kids. The past is behind us now."

Evaline followed Mel towards the pond to refill their water supply, carrying a few empty bottles that they were to refill. Problem was, they only had two bottles that fit the filter, so it would take some time to filter the water and then store it for later.

Still, the minutes stretched on as Mel filled the air with chatter, talking about how they should hurry since it was getting dark, and that made her uneasy. Evaline nodded, watching the water trickle past the filter in the bottle as she waited for it to fill. The fish in the pond seemed to detect their presence as they swam to the surface. Some of them even seemed to jump up in the air. Maybe they thought that dipping the bottles signified a food source was nearby.

"Oh my gosh I thought that toad was a leaf," Mel said with her face scrunched in discomfort as she stared at a toad sitting at the edge of the pond, staring up at them.

"Don't touch it," Evaline said blankly. "Could be poisonous."

"Hah, funny," Mel said, but then glanced back at her. "But, uh, could it actually, though?"

Evaline slowly turned towards her. "I mean... are you going to eat it?"

"No..."

"Then no," she answered.

Mel laughed and rolled her eyes, splashing the bottle into the pond so that she could fill it up.

"You know, you worried me by disappearing out of the blue," she said. "It was like you took all the plans and disappeared. I was worried you wouldn't even meet us today."

"Sorry about that," Evaline said, and she did mean it, because it wasn't like having to run away from Terra with James was all a part of her plan. "At least we're here now, and we'll stick to the plan."

"Right, right," Mel said, and then a short silence passed as the crickets and frogs filled the air. "So, you bringing James was part of the plan, huh?" she teased.

It didn't surprise her that the conversation inevitably turned to James, but she had mentally prepared for it.

"Sometimes, it's important to be flexible with plans," Evaline said calmly, still watching the water trickle down the filter.

"I'm just surprised you brought him along," she commented.

"He wanted to come," she countered back.

"I know," Mel said. "Really, I'm surprised you let him."

Evaline sighed, because it was hard to explain a theoretical situation where she would let James travel with her. At least, not without breaking down all the details and nuances attached to the sentiments.

Still, there wasn't really a way out of this one, especially since she and James agreed on a story already, and he may have already told her the details.

"Yeah," she said in defeat. "I guess I am too."

She could see Mel start to grin out of the corner of her eyes.

"Sounds like a new development," Mel said innocently.

"Maybe," Evaline said flatly, noting how the bottle was almost finished filtering.

"Well, if that's what you want, I'm happy for you," Mel said with a smile as she patted her shoulder.

Evaline was about to unscrew the lid to transfer the water to another container, but then paused for a moment, feeling prickled by her statement.

"Is that why you asked all those questions earlier while we ate?" she asked her. "You were trying to get me to figure out what I wanted?"

Mel put a hand up innocently. "To be fair," she said. "It's a legit concern I had with Jack at one point. The whole thing was more of a conversation starter, really."

Evaline stared at her for a second, narrowing her eyes before sighing and dropping it, unscrewing the lid and beginning to pour the contents to another bottle for storage.

"Well, I'm just as clueluess as you, then," she said, knowing she sounded a little irritated, but she couldn't help it.

"I don't think so," Mel said, unfazed. "To be honest, Evaline, I think you do know what you want. And I think you're scared of the answer."

"What makes you say that?" she asked as she poured the water.

Mel pursed her lips and hummed. "You always do that to people close to you," she said. "Protect them, and even push them away. Do you do that to protect yourself, or to protect them?"

If this were any other person, Evaline would have immediately felt defensive. But years of friendship paved the way of direct honesty to one another, and she knew Mel was just trying to help and offer advice - even if it was unsolicited.

"I guess, what I'm asking is if you're protecting yourself, or if you're protecting James," Mel continued when she didn't immediately answer.

Evaline snapped the lid shut and moved the bottle to the side, furrowing her brows as she tried to think of the answer. "I think... I was protecting myself, at first," she answered. "But not anymore."

Mel nodded in understanding. "So that's why you got offended when I said I didn't prioritize Jack as much," she said. "Because you prioritize James more than you want him to prioritize you. Is that right?"

To be honest, Evaline didn't even know what to say to that. It felt like she was analyzing her entire situation, and she didn't want this. To stall for her answer, she dunked the filtered bottle back in the bottle, taking her time to let it fill up.

"But you know, he's right," Mel continued anyways. "You should be prioritizing each other. But, hell, I don't even think that's the right phrasing. Why is prioritizing each other an indicator of love, anyways? Isn't it enough to just be there, wanting the best of each other, and becoming a better person together?"

It made Evaline a little uneasy that Mel was throwing the words "love" and "James" into unsolicited advice for her, but she decided to not get upset over this detail to not give anything away.

"Why do you even bother asking for advice?" she asked instead as she glanced at her. "Seems like you've got this all figured out."

Mel laughed, shaking her head. "Please. I've been in love plenty of times. I just haven't found the right person yet for it to work out."

Evaline mulled this over as she brought the bottle up and watched the water trickle past the filter again, slowly.

"It's common to think that the key to a successful relationship is to find the right person," she said slowly, carefully selecting each word. "But I don't think that's it at all. Instead, it's learning to love the person you found."

Mel seemed to hum this thought over as she looked up at Evaline, impressed. "That's actually some really solid advice," she said. "How'd you pick that one up? Have you been in a bunch of secret relationships that I don't know about?"

"I guess," Evaline said slowly, still watching the water fall down, "I've learned to love a person I've found."

Mel was quiet for a few moments as she stared at Evaline with wide eyes, but then broke into a big grin. "Oh, I see, I see, I see," she hummed. "Good to know."

Evaline groaned, already feeling the embarrassment rise up to her face from Mel's reaction. She didn't even know why she said that. Why did she say that? Did she really just...

"So, I should be coming to you for love advice instead of James, then, huh?" Mel teased as she playfully elbowed her arm.

Evaline swallowed down the embarrassment for a moment, narrowing her eyes at Mel and trying so hard to not look like she was pouting.

"Did you actually use that time to ask for advice?" she asked. "Or did you...?"

"To be fair," Mel said matter-of-factly. "James and I are friends now, so..."

"Mel," Evaline said firmly despite the knot in her throat.

"What?" she said innocently.

"What did you say?"

"Sounds like you both need to communicate if you want to figure that out," Mel said with a giggle as she got up on her feet.

Evaline facepalmed and groaned, knowing she had just dug herself in this hole, and wanting to just take a minute to recuperate.

It did cross her mind that she had idly said a vulnerability out loud without fully thinking it through, and she could undo it.

But she didn't want to. Obviously, James would see it, and the thought of him hearing that through a dream rather than her own mouth made her want to shrink. But also, even if he didn't have the ability to see the undone memories that no longer served a purpose in this world, she didn't think she'd undo time anyways.

Sometimes, it was better to live in the moment and take things as they come.

"C'mon," Mel said as she began to grab the bottles they filled up. "This should be enough. Let's head back."

Evaline and Mel returned with plenty of filtered water for their needs, and the five of them started to get ready to go to sleep. They each pulled out their own sleep sacks and blankets and ended up lying around the fire, which they decided to keep going through the night to keep warm.

They decided to sleep in shifts. Alistair volunteered to go in the middle of the night so he could fuel the fire if it went out, and the rest of them could just keep it alive during their watch. Elise seemed eager to take the first shift, and no one argued with her. After her, it was Mel, Alistair, Evaline, and then James.

Everyone seemed eager to get to bed by the time the sky was pitch black. The crickets and toads were still noisy, but at the very least, their croaks and chirping were consistent. Elliot seemed to already be asleep by the time everyone finally curled up in their blankets and it was just Elise left, sitting close to the fire, with her blankets wrapped around her for warmth.

James of course, was awake too. He couldn't tell if the others were asleep yet, but after almost an hour, he was convinced he was the only one lying awake, because everyone's breathing had steadied, and their tossings and turnings became less abrupt.

If he'd learned anything in his sleepless nights, it was how to recognize when someone else was asleep.

Sleepy was fast asleep, curled up in his blanket beside him, and he couldn't help but envy the small chicken a little bit. He listened to her faint breathing in the dark, losing track of time.

"James?" he heard Elise whisper next to him. "Are you still awake?"

James had heard movement, but he didn't think that Elise would be able to tell he was awake. He'd been still for some time, but his eyes were open. At least, partially. He'd assumed Elise was just getting up to grab something. Apparently not.

He shifted so that he was facing her. She'd come up close, presumably so the others wouldn't hear her whisper, and she wouldn't wake them. He at least appreciated her being discreet.

"Yes," he whispered back. "Something wrong?"

"I just wanted to make sure everything is okay," she continued to whisper. "Are you having trouble sleeping?"

James glanced down at Sleepy, who was peacefully unperturbed by their hushed conversation.

"Yes," he admitted after a pause.

"Sorry about that," Elise said with empathy in her eyes and voice. "I'm sure the pain doesn't help."

Ah. Yes. The pain. That was the only reason. That was the reason James was going to run with, because there was no way he was about to explain his growing list of reasons why sleep was evasive.

"No," he said, his voice growing even quieter as he looked to the side. "It doesn't."

Elise nodded solemnly. "Maybe I can help," she offered. "You need rest so you can have the energy to get through the day."

James swallowed, and considered accepting her help. It would get her off his case, but he didn't want her to see... well, remotely anything below the neckline. It wasn't just the scars. It was the map of bruises. The scratches, the burn. The things that he'd feel pressured to explain.

And he knew it was too much for one person to heal. It had to be. If she took on his pain willingly, there was no way he wanted to pass all of that on to her.

"I..." he started, hesitantly. "If you could... maybe..."

It felt like pulling teeth, forcing the words out.

He swallowed again, feeling the anxiety creeping up quickly.

"My... neck?" he whispered. "And face?"

Elise's face softened as she smiled and nodded. "Of course," she said quietly. "I'd be happy to help."

James nodded, and slowly sat up so that he was facing her. He was careful not to make any noise.

"I can heal it with my powers, if that's okay with you," she said as she inspected his face and neckline.

"That's okay," he said softly, glancing around the fire. It seemed like everyone was still asleep, and he wanted to keep it that way.

"My... my nose," he whispered. "Is broken. It's been re-set back into place, already, but the bone is still... you know."

"Ah," Elise said with a nod as she comfortably kneeled in front of him and then lifted her hand up to touch him. "I'm going to remove the bandage to look," she said as a warning.

James swallowed again. He could feel his heart starting to race, and he knew he was starting to sweat. It was stupid, and he hated it. He had to use so much energy to hide it.

"Okay," he said, barely audible.

With both hands, Elise gently peeled the bandage off his nose and then set it off to the side before inspecting it.

"I can heal this," she assured quietly. "But since it involves bone, this may hurt a bit. Are you ready?"

James closed his eyes, bracing for the pain. If he could quietly take everything else, he could handle it. He knew he could. It was just different... being healed, instead of hurt again. At least this time he was consenting to it.

"Yes," he said, still hushed.

He felt Elise's hand touch his nose as a hot sensation seemed to spread over the injury. A few seconds passed with a sharp, stinging pain on his nose as he could feel the bone coming back into place. It was like the healing process was accelerated in just a few seconds.

"Done," Elise announced as the pain turned to a dull ache.

James opened his eyes to meet hers, and he took in a deep breath. He smiled, ever so slightly.

"Good as new?" he asked quietly, attempting at a joke. For his own sake.

"Good as new," she echoed with a small smile, as her eyes drifted down to the bruise around his neck. "I'll work on the bruises next," she said. "This shouldn't hurt as much."

James nodded slightly, but then held still. This time, he kept his eyes open as he watched her raise her hands up to his neck. He couldn't see it, but after several long seconds, the aching around his neck dissipitated. For a moment, he sat still, taking in the reality of the small section of his body that was now suddenly painless. It was difficult to describe.

"Done," she said again, pulling away. "Bruises are always the easiest to heal."

James smiled slightly. That was convenient. It was a shame he wouldn't let her heal the rest of him.

"Thank you, Elise," he said quietly.

"Of course," she said with a smile. "I can get the bruises on your face, too. Does anywhere else hurt?"

Only everywhere else, he wanted to say, but he didn't.

"No," he lied. "Just my face."

Elise nodded, and went to work, using her healing power to make each bruise disappear one-by-one, until finally, James didn't feel any more aches and pains on his face.

"There," Elise said when she finished, pulling away and sitting back down, tilting her head as she inspected his freshly-healed face. "Now you're good as new."

James suppressed a mirthless laugh and instead nodded slightly.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Again."

"Of course," she said with a smile. "Will this help you sleep?"

"I hope so," James said, not wanting to guarantee it, in the event she caught him not asleep later. Though, he would make an effort to pretend to be asleep better.

Elise nodded slowly, looking like she wanted to say more, until finally, she did.

"You may have had difficulty sleeping because of the pain, but not all pain is able to be physically healed," she whispered. "I may not be able to heal that kind of pain directly, but sometimes knowing that you have others around you is enough. All of us are glad you are here. Really."

James felt his nerves return, but for a different reason.

He didn't know what prompted this. Obviously, him looking physically battered was legitimate cause for concern, but now that she'd fixed what could be seen, he didn't know how she'd jumped to the next conclusion.

The thing was, she wasn't wrong. Yes, it was a generic, and perhaps easy conclusion - and maybe she only meant that being attacked by a gang was hard, and had to affect you mentally as well. But she wasn't just talking about that. It almost sounded like she thought he'd tried to kill himself. But there was no possible way she could've known.

Unless...

If he wasn't being watched, he would've brought his hand to his neck. Instead, he stayed still.

"I'm glad to be here too," he whispered back, pushing the words out even though his mind protested loudly.

Elise nodded and smiled. "I'm glad to hear that," she said. "If you ever need any help from the pain - whether it be physical or non-physical - know that I'd always be happy to be there for you."

James nodded slowly.

"Thank you, Elise," he whispered. "I know I'm not the best at showing it all the time, but I really do appreciate your kindness. Even from the start."

Elise smiled warmly. "I only ask that you return the kindness to someone else in need someday," she said. "The world could use a little more compassion."

"I wholeheartedly agree," James said with a slight smile, but he couldn't muster up a full one. It wouldn't be real.

"I'm glad," Elise said, and then patted the blanket he was laying on. "Now, let's get you back to sleep so you're well-rested."

James nodded, deciding to gloss over her delivering the order like he was a child for now.

"I'll get back to bed," he whispered as he laid back down, careful not to disturb Sleepy.

"Alright. Good night, James," she said as she got up and returned to her post.

It was dark. He could smell the sewer water, like it'd seeped into his clothes, and his skin. The smell was stronger now, like it was a part of him. Normally, it would've disgusted him, but for some reason he felt better than he had in years. Happy, if he could actually call it that. The cold, hard, concrete floor felt welcoming, like a bed of blankets. He knew he was prone, lying on his side with his neck craned to the side.

When he looked up, he could see figures standing over him. Their voices felt like they were underwater and far away.

A foot kicked him square in the chest. He could feel the pressure of the impact, but it didn't seem to hurt. He felt a laugh make its way up to his throat, but it got caught in his chest where the foot had kicked, like it got stuck. He ended up coughing faintly instead.

"Hey, we're talking to you," Darla's voice called. "Look up and address our leader."

It took James a moment to process her words. Look up. Look up. He [i]was looking up.

"I said look up!" she said with another kick.

His eyes drifted to Darla, and then to Mathias. He knew he was the leader. But then his eyes caught on Evaline, who was standing next to Mathias. She was watching him, appearing unfazed. Something in his brain told him that he was happy to see her. Something in his brain told him he was happy to be with everyone, but it was like it was the beginning of a bad dream. Something wasn't right.

"He's drugged as hell, boss," Darla said. "Is now really the best time for this?"

"Until he starts cooperating, he'll be drugged," Mathias said, looking down at him with disgust. "And we know he's a fighter."

He then spat on him.

The spit landed somewhere on James's chest, and he looked up at Mathias.

Despite the environment around him, he felt warm, and relaxed. For once, he didn't feel tense. It was kind of nice.

"You're... not..." was all he was able to get out, with each word slurred. It felt like he was talking underwater too.

"He's trying so hard," Darla cooed, but then kicked him again. "Try harder."

James curled at the kick, but the pain wasn't registering, even though he knew it should've. With a slow, delayed movement, he tried to reach for her foot, but her foot was gone long before his hands could reach it.

"Mmh," was all he said as he grasped at the air. He couldn't seem to muster up any kind of anger into his fists. They felt loose, and all he wanted to do was stay still.

"It seems that you are putting him in his rightful place," he heard Evaline say to Mathias. "The drugs are a nice touch."

James couldn't quite process the implications of what that meant. Was Evaline pretending? She had to be pretending.

Mathias scoffed. "You truly don't show mercy to your own kind. That is a tribe sin."

"Believe me, I want him and everyone like him in this place," Evaline said cooly. "Including people who are more like him. Ovrell, Alicia, Oliver. You understand."

There were names James didn't know.

"But not you," Mathias said back to her with a sinister smirk. "Not you. You don't deserve to be drugged and beaten."

"You and I both know that I'd be a far greater asset than that."

James rolled onto his back, staring up at the dark, dark ceiling.

"Oliv...er..." he breathed out, as the name finally snapped into place in his mind in a brief, passing moment of clarity. Oliver was after him. That was why he was here, now, wasn't it?

"You see?" Evaline said. "Even he knows his own kind doesn't want him. Isn't that why you have him?"

"If that's the case, then prove it," Mathias said. "Prove that you don't have any mercy. Prove that you are a trustworthy asset."

Evaline put her hands up in surrender. "I cannot," she said. "I am burdened with the peace gene, unlike you."

"That's bullshit."

"I wish that were not the case," she said. "But having the gene doesn't mean I am capable of mercy."

James tried to sit up as they continued to talk. It wasn't as laborious of a process as he thought it'd be, because things didn't seem to hurt anymore like they used to. But he felt sluggish, like his body was moving slower than the rest of them. He managed to push himself up with his arms, sitting with his legs folded under him.

"Lift him up," Evaline suddenly ordered. "I refuse to physically stoop low to have a conversation with him."

Darla was on the move to lift him up by his shoulders, but then Evaline stopped her.

"No," she said, looking over at Mathias. "Force him up."

Mathias looked at Evaline with a sickeningly wicked smile, and he stepped forward. James looked up at him with a vacant gaze, unable to feel anything but euphoria, even if his instincts were trying to shout at him through the drug-induced haze that euphoria was the furthest thing from what he should've been feeling.

Mathias walked up to him, standing inches in front of him, and James looked up into the man's face.

"You hear that?" he taunted with a smile. "She requested that I force you up. I'll give you two seconds to help me out if you don't want this to hurt more."

In the time it took James to lift one leg, two seconds had already passed. James watched as a fire seemed to light behind Mathias's eyes, and a rope-like string of fire shot out of his hand, snaking up James's arm. It wrapped around him tightly, and James could feel the heat as it started to burn through his clothes. Mathias then let out a giddy laugh as he yanked James's fire-roped arm up into the air, dragging the rest of his body with him.

James and Mathias were face to face, and Mathias met his eyes for a moment before he put his hand on James's side, finding a bruise - like he knew where it was - and he dug his thumb in. Between two of his ribs.

It should've hurt far more than it did.

"You want to stay up for me, now," Mathias whispered into his ear, still holding his arm aloft with the rope of fire, which was now flush with his skin. "Or we'll be more than happy to add to your little collection of scars."

Then, the fire dissipated, and Mathias let James's arm drop. James didn't know how his legs were supporting himself, but he was standing. Mathias spit again, but this time in James's face. James simply took it, and didn't reach to wipe it off.

Evaline took a step forward, facing him and then reaching out to wipe the spit off his face in one quick motion.

"I came all this way to make sure you get the best treatment," she said. "To prove a point. Because you..."

She cupped his face with her hand, tilting his chin so that he would look at her face.

"You are valuable," she continued, voice calm but empty. "Man from the past, pure and innocent. Unconditioned."

Her eyes didn't match her words. Instead, she looked at him with sorrow and pity, but she was still concealing something behind closed walls.

"You will help Gaea grow. You will help take back what once was ours. What once was yours. The key to the future is in the past, and now it is in your hands."

She rubbed her thumb against his cheek.

"Will you cooperate?" she asked.

James couldn't help but be preoccupied with her hand on his face. It made his stomach do flips, but there was a disconnect between his mind, and his heart, and what he felt and what he knew.

She was proving herself. In the moment, he couldn't remember why.

He stared back at her, and despite the pleasant buzzing in his brain, there was no emotion behind his eyes as he lowered his lids halfway and opened his mouth to speak.

He wanted to say yes. Only for you. And then he wanted to say no. Because a part of him knew if he did, he might never recover. He didn't know if he could do this again - trying to salvage broken pieces of himself.

"I can't," he whispered. His words came out hollow as the screaming desperation in his soul was smothered by the drugs telling him everything was alright.

Evaline slowly withdrew her hand, and she hesitated. Her face hardened, and she became unreadable.

"I see," she said, her tone unchanged. "I pity you."

She then took a few steps back and gestured from Mathias to himself.

"He's the type where words cannot convince him," she said. "But perhaps you could instead."

Mathias waved his hand over to Darla, looking pleased. "Darla, make him cooperate," he said.

Evaline seemed to linger her hardened gaze on James, but then turned away and started to walk towards the exit. "I can ask him again tomorrow if Darla fails," she said as Mathias followed after her.

"Oh, I don't plan on failing," Darla said with a wicked grin now that she had James all by herself. "You must've felt so strong in the ring. But now look at you. Barely able to talk, barely able to stand on your own two feet. You can't even defend yourself."

As she talked, roots and vines rose up from the ground and started to snake their way towards his neck. There wasn't any tension - just slow movement for now. James could hear the heavy door open and shut as Mathias and Evaline left, leaving Darla by herself with him.

"You don't like using words, huh?" Darla teased as the vines slowly wrapped around his neck. "Maybe I can help with that."

At that moment, the thick vines twisted around his neck with sudden tension, choking him. James curled forward, grabbing for the vines, but they only tightened. He tried to move his feet and barrel towards Darla, but he realized his feet were weighted down with chains and heavy metal bonds around his ankles. It resulted in him stumbling down to his knees, and Darla let out a wicked laugh.

James tried to gasp for air, but nothing came. This was different than drowning. Oxygen felt so much closer, and yet, it was out of his grasp.

Just as his knees hit the floor, he saw Darla come down to his level, and she punched him in the face, hitting him just below the eye.

"Come on, cry out for help," Darla taunted as she hit him again, this time on the back of the head. "Someone might come for you if you scream."

But he couldn't scream, and she knew that. His vision started to blur, and he wasn't sure if it was because of all of the hits to his head or the lack of air, or both.

He let out a thin rasp of breath as he mustered the last of his strength to dive for her legs. He actually managed to grab them, but she knee'd him right in his forehead before he could get a solid grasp, and then he was seeing stars.

He stumbled back on his knees as his head spun, and he eventually fell back onto the floor. For just a second, the tension of the vines around his neck let up, and he let in a panicked, pained breath.

"You know how this works," Darla sneered. "You just gotta tap out."

James could feel blood starting to drip from his nose - or maybe it was somewhere else on his face.

Then, Darla stepped on his forearm. The one that was burned. With the vines around his neck slackened, he found himself involuntarily crying out in pain. But his cry was cut off by the vines tightening again.

"If you're going to cooperate, just tap out," Darla said again, twisting her shoe over his arm. "It's that easy."

James didn't want to. He really didn't, but he had to fight back tears that sprung to his eyes along with his pride.

He couldn't take it anymore. He weakly tapped the ground with his other arm, and Darla stared down at him with a cruel grin. Finally, she lifted her boot, and the vines retreated.

"There we go," she said. "That wasn't so hard, now, was it?"[/i]

James woke up trembling uncontrollably. It was beyond the help of focused breaths and grounding methods he'd used for himself over and over through the years. He felt like he'd been broken. No. He had been broken, and he'd been ready to give up to the life the Gaea would've made for him. It would've been like the gang of thieves all over again, but worse. A million times worse.

He grasped for his throat, desperately trying to feel again. He knew he could breathe. He knew he should've been able to breathe, but he felt like he was suffocating, and he couldn't tell if it was all in his head or not anymore. He curled up tightly on his side, desperately trying to quiet his rapid, panicked gasps and push back the tears that flooded to his eyes.

None of it was working.

He hoped beyond hope that he hadn't woken any of the others, and that whomever was on watch thought nothing of it. He curled up tightly into a ball, covering his head and face with his arms. He was still shaking like a leaf.

"James," he heard Mel whisper beside him, sounding concerned. "Hey. Are you okay?"

James couldn't form words. He curled up even tighter, but he could feel his arm start to burn.

"Hey, it was just a nightmare," Mel whispered more gently. "It's okay. Hey. It'll be alright."

Tears were streaming down his face, and his breath hitched in his throat. He swallowed hard, refusing to sob loud enough for anyone else to hear. He furiously pinched his eyes shut, and forced himself to breathe again. He took in one deep, pitifully shaky breath, and let an equally fragile one out. He repeated the process over and over, even though he felt like he was dying. He was drowning. He was choking, again, over and over.

Slowly, he released some tension in his shoulders. He didn't know how much time passed, but he hesitantly peered out, pulling his arms away. Tears were still rolling down his face, hot and stinging.

"Do you want a hug?" Mel whispered quietly, her brows arched with empathy as she patiently sat beside him.

James stared up at her, having to mentally separate the vision of Darla standing over him from Mel. It felt like his mind was splitting, and it took him too many seconds to process the implications of her question.

He shook his head, barely.

"No," he meant to say, but it came out like a faint squeak.

"Do you want me to sit here with you for a bit?" Mel asked instead, unfazed by his answer.

James hesitated again, taking in another shaky breath that seemed to temporarily hinder his vocal cords. He decided to give up on words, and instead nodded, unable to meet her eyes as his kept producing tears.

Mel wordlessly plopped down to sit on her butt beside him, and she didn't say anything for a while, waiting until she received some kind of cue that he was ready, whether it be for her to say her own words or listen to his own.

James couldn't help but feel guilty as he tried to calm himself down, actively attempting repeatedly to push the memory out of his mind. But it felt like it had seared into his brain, like the fire on his arm. He couldn't forget it, now. It had made itself a part of him.

He didn't know how much time had passed before he felt his breathing finally begin to stabilize. The memory still haunted him in the forefront of his mind, but numbness was starting to creep in. He didn't know how to stop it. His body was making the decision for him.

Just like every other thing that had happened to him: this was too much for him to handle. So he'd just have to separate himself from it emotionally. How else was he supposed to move on?

He snapped his eyes shut.

But I don't want to. I don't want to.

He felt like he was protesting against himself, but his mind and body had already come to an agreement without him. Finally, the tears subsided.

He quietly sniffed.

"I'm sorry," were the first hoarse, whispered words to come out, and he already knew he'd be scolded for them.

"Hm?" Mel said as she turned to face him. "What for?"

James stared blankly up at her, but his eyes were unfocused. He couldn't think of an answer.

"Did I wake anyone?" he decided to ask instead, keeping his voice down.

Mel slowly glanced around them, then turned her attention back to James. "Nope," she whispered. "You're in the clear."

James nodded, relieved, at least, by that. He felt like his mind was lagging severely behind. He kept seeing vines. Water. Fire. Shortness of breath.

"Okay," was all he said in a hushed whisper.

"Nightmares suck, huh?" Mel said after another stretch of silence.

James nodded. "Yeah," he rasped.

"It's like you go to sleep and get attacked by your own brain," Mel thought out loud.

"Yeah," James whispered again, weakly.

"Like, why can't we just shut off our brain when we sleep?" Mel continued. "I thought that was the purpose of sleep?"

James felt tears spring to his eyes again, but they felt more hollow this time. Something inside him had dulled, but Mel's words dug into a pain that had been there for a very, very long time.

"I thought so too," he whispered shakily as he blinked more tears away.

"It's pretty rude," she said with a shrug. "One time, I dreamed that I was eating roasted chickpeas, but when I brought the spoon to my mouth, they turned to cockroaches." She visibly shivered. "What was my brain thinking?"

James let out a weak laugh through his nose, but it was likely it sounded identical to his previous shaky breaths.

"One time I dreamed that I was disemboweled," he said, barely audible. It wasn't until he said it that he realized, tonally, his dream didn't match Mel's at all.

Mel turned to shoot him an odd look. "Well, that sounds terrifying," she said casually.

"It was," he whispered back.

"Did you wake up and make sure your organs were still intact?"

James let out another shaky, anxious laugh through his nose.

"Of course I did," he whispered.

"And they were... right?"

"I can't remember," he said, staring out beyond her, into the dark shadows of the trees.

Mel hummed. "Well, you're breathing, so your lungs are okay. And you inhale food, so your stomach and intentines are okay. And since you're a romantic, that must mean you have a heart. So, yeah, I think you're good."

James closed his eyes and tucked his head down as he let out a long sigh. He looked down at his arms, which were still hugging his chest, and he tried to subtly shift his sleeve to make sure it covered the bandage that peeked from his wrist.

"Yeah," he said softly, taking in another deep breath. "I'm good."

"If anything, I think you got healed up instead," Mel continued to whisper. "Since it seemed you went to sleep and - poof - your face got all fixed."

James was still for a moment as her comment registered. He slowly lifted his hand to his face and felt his nose.

"Elise," he whispered as a one-word explanation.

"Was this before your nightmare?" she asked.

"Yes," James answered as he pulled his hands away from his face. "Before I fell asleep."

"Good decision to accept help," Mel said with a nod. "But she did have to touch you for that. Do you think that might've been connected to the nightmare?"

James hadn't even considered if that could be a contributor to what memories he saw in what order. He didn't know how any of it worked.

"Maybe," he answered shakily.

Mel let a comfortable silence pass.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she finally asked gently.

James did. But he knew he couldn't tell her everything. He was already too deep in the lies, and he had to keep his word to Evaline, and protect Mel in whatever way he could.

"I don't know if I do," he whispered. "It was the cage fights. With the Gaea."

Mel nodded in understanding. "That whole experience must have been so traumatic," she said. "It's normal to get nightmares. It'll pass eventually. I'm sorry you have to relive it in your dreams."

James nodded. He couldn't stop the image of Mathias standing right in front of him, inches from his face with his fire burning into James's arm from pushing to the front of his mind. And then Evaline, like a temporary balm, even though her words made his skin crawl. But he had to remember she hadn't meant a word of it. And she'd proven it.

But he understood now, why she was so worried about him seeing it.

"Me too," he whispered, his answer far too delayed.

"Have you dreamed about this before, or is this the first time?" she asked.

James blinked away more tears. He thought he was done, but apparently he wasn't.

"I have," he said. "Dreamed... before. Once. Since it happened."

"What about when you're awake?" Mel continued. "Do you think about it a lot?"

"I..." James trailed off for a moment. "I don't know what's considered a lot."

"Does it take up a lot of space in your head?" she asked instead.

A lot of things took up a lot of space in his head. This was just the most recent thing.

"I guess?" he whispered, forcing himself not to curl up more. He didn't know why he felt like he was being interrogated all of a sudden.

"It was a traumatic experience," Mel said again. "It sounds like you're suffering the effects of it. It might help to talk it over... if you're up for it. But I don't want to make you relive it, so it's no pressure."

"I don't want to feel it again," James said, barely audible.

But he already was. Every pause, he saw it all over again.

"Of course not," she said. "But if you keep it bottled up, you'll keep having the same dreams. And I wouldn't want you to relive that and feel it all over again."

James took in a deep breath, but the breath was interrupted by the faintest little thump against his back. Before he could process what it was, James curled up into a ball again with a panicked gasp.

"Aww, poor thing," Mel said, and it took a few seconds for James to realize that she wasn't talking to him as she reached behind his back and pulled out the source of the thump. It was Sleepy.

"Sleepy isn't so sleepy anymore," she cooed while petting her sitting on her palm.

James had to take in another deep breath to release the sudden tension in his muscles. He uncurled, even though his legs were still tucked up as he laid on his side.

He watched as Mel continued to pet Sleepy before he decided to sit up. It seemed like a good idea until he sat up too quickly, and he got light-headed and dizzy. He stuck his arm out to catch himself to keep himself from swaying.

"Sorry, Sleepy," he whispered softly to the chicken. He reached out, offering to take her from Mel.

Mel handed him Sleepy, patting her head before she pulled her hand away.

"I think Sleepy is trying to comfort you too," she said softly with a small smile.

James met Mel's eyes for only a second, but he couldn't muster a smile in return. Instead, he pulled Sleepy close to his chest and pet her gently and steadily. She already started curling up in his palm, comforted by his pets.

"Animals pick up on that kind of thing too," he said under his breath.

"Is that why you like to surround yourself with animals?" she asked.

James focused on Sleepy for a moment, trying to think through his answer.

"I guess so," he said softly.

It was more than that, though. Animals didn't care about your background, or where you came from, or your social status. They didn't care about reputations, or convincing arguments. You proved yourself with your actions, and they were always able to know if you were genuine or not, just on instinct.

"Well, I'm no animal," Mel said. "But I also want to make sure you're okay. And I don't need pets, either."

James glanced back up at her, but his eyes flicked quickly back down to the ground.

"I don't know if I'll be okay for a while," James whispered, letting the honest confession come out only in part. He hadn't been okay for a very long time - and "okay" was such a subjective thing, he didn't know how to define it anymore. For him, being okay meant he wasn't actively falling apart. That was enough for him.

"Because of the nightmare?" Mel asked softly.

"A lot of things," he said, still not looking up at her. "But that's part of it."

"Do you feel like you're alone?" she continued quietly.

James continued to pet Sleepy's head with his thumb. He thought of Evaline, and Elliot, and the little chicken in his hands. And Mel too, even though she couldn't know everything.

"No," he answered. "Not anymore."

"Well," Mel said after a short pause. "That means you will have someone trusted to fall back on, in case you don't feel okay."

"Yeah," he said softly. "I know."

"And have you?" she asked, still watching him. "Fallen back on them?"

"I think so," he said, still with his eyes glued to Sleepy.

"And you do know that that's not going to change any time soon, right?" she said. "You'll always have someone you can talk to and trust."

James looked up to Mel, barely meeting her eyes. It was hard to make out her features very clearly in the faint firelight, but she seemed sincere and genuine.

"I know," he said quietly.

"Good," Mel said with a small smile. "I just wanted to remind you."

"I appreciate it, Mel."

She nodded. "Will you be staying up for a while?"

James slowly glanced over his shoulder at the others, who were still sleeping.

"Probably," he whispered. The answer was yes.

"I still have another hour until I wake Alistair up," Mel continued. "I can stay here with you, but we don't have to talk."

James knew he was going to be awake, and so was Mel. If she was fine with sitting in silence...

"Okay," he said with a nod. "I'd like that."

Evaline woke up in a daze when Alistair gently shook her shoulder to wake her up, and for the next several minutes, she had been stretching and quietly pacing around the edge of the camp to not disturb anyone.

Sleep was a temporary escape from the rush of anxieties flowing through her mind. There was the uncertainty of Oliver, of course, but also the worries for the journey ahead of them. It seemed that she and James barely managed to escape from perilous danger just a few days ago, and it made her nervous to know what else awaited them for the next few months.

It certainly didn't help that she was losing control of her emotions. Again.

But maybe it wasn't all bad...

Was it?

She shook her head and the thought away, turning around to furiously pace the other direction, but then caught movement at the corner of her eye. Evaline froze for a moment as she snapped her head back to look up at the source of the movement, towards camp.

Someone was only stirring in their sleep. Or specifically, James. She wondered if he was even asleep at all. Maybe his insomnia was getting to him again. Or maybe he also had a million thoughts running through his mind.

The speculation was confirmed when she watched James slowly sit up without prompt, holding Sleepy on his lap. He looked tired, as usual, but also shaken. She could see it in his eyes when he looked over at her, too.

Maybe something was bothering him.

They both made silent eye contact for a few seconds, and Evaline then darted her eyes between him and the spot next to her, silently suggesting that he was welcome to join her side if he wanted. It was darker and colder where she was at, but if he wanted to talk, it'd be better to be away from the others while they slept.

She watched as James quietly got to his feet, sticking Sleepy in his jacket pocket and then grabbing his blanket off the ground, wrapping it over his shoulders. On light feet, he padded past the others as they slept in silence, until he was beside her, holding both ends of the blanket at his chest. He looked cold, but now that he was closer, his distress was more evident.

"Everything alright?" she asked in a hushed voice, feeling wary that he looked more distressed than usual.

James looked at the ground, and it seemed like he was hesitant to say. It was almost like she could see the words get caught in his throat.

"I dreamed again," he said, barely audible. "The moment you warned me about. And... after."

Evaline stared at him for a few seconds, unable to react right away. Although her mind was preoccupied by his heavy words, she noticed in the midst of the thought that his face was healed. She pushed that topic and thought aside for now.

She knew that him dreaming of what happened again was a possibility, and she had warned him ahead of time so that he could brace for it. She just didn't realize it would happen so soon.

"Gaea?" she asked quietly, mostly to stall. She already knew the answer.

James nodded, but didn't say anything. Evaline took a deep breath as she prepped her own words.

"I'm sorry you got to see that," she said softly. "And that it happened here, right now. I wished we could have more privacy. It's a lot, I know."

James seemed to pull the blanket around himself tighter.

"Mel was on watch when I woke up," he whispered. "I... I couldn't talk to her about it."

Evaline swallowed, imagining the whiplash of waking up in a frenzy from the vivid traumatic memory, and then not being able to speak about it.

"Do you want to talk about it with me?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know," James said softly, and she could hear his voice waver slightly. "Is... is that okay?"

"Let's sit," she said instead, bending her knees to sit on the grassy spot she was standing on.

James sat down beside her, huddled in his blanket. He was looking out ahead of them with his eyebrows drawn together in a line in an intense, unfocused stare.

"Don't worry about me," Evaline said softly after a short pause. "If you want to talk about it, I will listen."

James nodded slightly, and there was a brief pause.

"I don't know what made this time different," he said quietly, his voice hollow. "I've never broken like that before."

Evaline knew he was referencing the torture. It made her heart sink that he lived a life where this didn't just happen once. James didn't deserve this.

"Maybe it was the drugs," he said, his voice still sounding distant. "Normally, people liked me sober, so I could feel it. I had a clear head. I could choose to fight it, and I knew what was happening. But this..."

He trailed off as his stare fell to the ground.

"James," Evaline said with a steady voice. "You didn't choose to break. They were the ones who broke you. They did this to you."

It looked like James tensed, drawing into himself.

"I just always thought I could be stronger, you know?" he whispered, his voice sounding strained.

"You were, and you are strong," Evaline said firmly.

He was quiet for a moment, and when she spared a closer look at him, she could see his lip was starting to tremble.

"You've always been strong, even all those years ago," she continued softly. "It hasn't changed. You're strong in other ways, but it hasn't changed."

James slowly looked over to her, and though the light from the distant fire was dim, she could see he had tears in his eyes.

"But what if I'm not?" he whispered.

"Does it matter?" she said, then offered a small, sympathetic smile. "It's like you said. It's okay if we're both weak, but we can be stronger together."

It looked like James was trying to meet her eyes, but she realized it was possible he couldn't see her very well in the dark, making eye contact improbable.

"All these years, I would keep biting back at the people who've come after me with bitter, stubborn spite. I let it fuel my way to escape, to survival. But over the past year I'm realizing I don't know if I have any anger left in me to give. Sometimes I surprise myself, but... when they just took it away for me, it was like-- I don't know," James said, his eyes looking like they were glossing over with tears. "It was like they took all the fight left in me. I really did try. But she..."

At that moment, all of the tears that had been visibly building up started to stream down his face, and James dipped his head down. But instead of curling into himself, she saw him turn to her. He reached out of his blanket with both arms, like he wanted a hug, but he didn't rush to her to receive it.

Evaline didn't want to make any assumptions, especially after everything he gone though.

"Do you want a hug?" she asked softly.

"Please," she heard him whisper through tears.

Evaline didn't waste another second. In one swift motion, she got on her knees, reached out, and then leaned forward, pulling James into an embrace. Like like time, she wrapped her arms over his shoulders to avoid touching sensitive areas on his back, and she placed one hand on the back of his head.

"I'm here now," she whispered in his ear. "Words will never convey how sorry I am this happened and that I couldn't do anything at the time, so I hope you know that I'll take my apology out by action. I'll fight and be angry for you to make sure you'll never get hurt like that again, and I won't ever let them get near you ever again."

James buried his face in her shoulder, and she could feel the tension in his shoulders as he clearly tried to silence his own cries so that no one could hear. She could feel his tears starting to seep into her shirt, and could hear his shaky, faint whimpers as he held her loosely.

"You're safe with me," Evaline continued, holding him a little tighter. "It's okay. You don't need to find a reason to fight anymore. Just being here is enough of a reason for me to fight for you."

James continued to cry, and he muffled a sob into her shoulder. He seemed to swallow it back, forcing himself to cry and tremble quietly as she held him, letting him get it out. Evaline let about a minute pass as she held him before speaking again.

"No one's watching, and we have some time," she said softly in his ear. "Take your time."

She felt James hug her a little tighter, but not to the point where it was uncomfortable. Another minute or two passed before he lifted his head partially, so that his chin rested on her shoulder.

"Thank you," he said softly in her ear.

"Of course," she said just as quietly, not having moved. "I'm here for you."

She felt him squeeze her a little tighter, but only for a moment, before he relented.

"Likewise," he whispered, slowly pulling away, almost like he didn't really want to.

Evaline already knew that. She knew from the very beginning, the moment he decided to help a lost stranger find her way home. Thing was, neither of them really knew where home was. But maybe that was why they found each other in the first place.

She felt her heart sink a little heavier knowing that it was inevitable that more pain would come their way, but she really did mean it when she said that she'd do everything in her power to make sure he stayed safe. That hadn't ever changed, but now she was all in.

As he pulled away, Evaline loosened her grip and slid her arms away so that she held on to his upper arms instead. In the dim light, she could still see his expression was weary, and his eyes were still full of sorrow and tears that continued to roll down his cheeks.

With one hand, she slowly reached up to his face to wipe away a tear with her thumb, and then repeating it on the other cheek.

"I don't have a handkerchief," she said softly as she did so.

James tilted his face ever so slightly into her touch.

"It's okay," he whispered, sniffing.

His tears kept coming, and instead of smearing it across his face, she used the edge of her sleeve to absorb the tears as she carefully focused on each one.

"But I do have sleeves," she said with a small smile.

"They're good for catching tears," James said quietly, looking like he tried to attempt a smile, but wasn't able to muster one up.

"That they are," Evaline said softly, finishing drying his face before gently placing her hand on his arm. She tried to meet his eyes, but judging from his unfocused gaze, she assumed he couldn't make out her face clearly.

"It's okay to cry," she continued. "I have plenty of time to catch your tears."

James closed his eyes and bowed his head a little. He sniffed again, and he slid his hands down her arms, holding her hands together in his. There was a small pause of silence before he spoke up, still hushed.

"I trust you," he said softly. "You can wipe my tears any time."

Evaline glanced at his hands on hers, feeling her heart beat a little faster from the anxiety. She didn't want to ask James for details pertaining to her involvement at the time, and she didn't want to ask why he still trusted her. A part of her felt like she already knew the answer, and she wanted to keep it uncertain.

She took both his hands and then brought them together, sandwiching her hands between them in front of her.

"Hey," she said gently. "Do you remember what happened the morning after the goblin gave me the medicine?"

James nodded very slightly.

"It's... fuzzy for me," he said. "But yes."

Evaline looked down at their hands, her thumbs rubbing the side of his hands.

"I've been remembering bits and pieces," she said quietly. "She gave me medicine because she smelled an infection on you. I thought you wouldn't trust the medicine, and I didn't want you to die from it, so I decided to administer it myself."

"I remember waking up to you being finished," he said. "But I was out. Something about a dart?"

She nodded. "You were drugged since you had a weapon," she continued. "That's why she only talked to me."

James was quiet for a moment.

"Sounds about right," he said softly.

"And I broke your trust that day," Evaline said quietly as she clasped her hands between his a little tighter. "Because I went through your wounds without your consent. I was thinking in the long-term, not the short-term. Just like I did at Gaea."

James brushed his calloused fingers on the back of her hand.

"You had to make a difficult decision under great pressure," he said softly. "And both times, you saved me, whether I wanted it or not. I know I was upset at the time, and I still might've been if we didn't get to know each other. But I know your intention wasn't to hurt me, even if my mind was afraid at the time."

Evaline found herself staring intensely at their hands, holding on every word while also trying to repeat the old memory in her head.

"I do remember you being upset with me for a while back then," she said. "But whether we have reconciled or not back then, it wouldn't have changed what I did."

She slowly looked back up at him with a blazing fierceness in her eyes. She was making a promise without verbally saying it out loud.

"I'd do it again, even if you're afraid, and even if it would cause a rift between us," she said steadily. "You are worth saving."

Even if we end up repeating our goodbye again. Saving you is still worth the pain.

She heard James sniff again, and he looked up at her again with tired, teary eyes.

"You always did care more about my life than I did," he said in a whisper. Then he gently squeezed her hands between his. "You know I'll always put you first, but I want you to know... I'll live for you too."

Evaline held his hands a little tighter, pausing for a moment as she replayed his words in her head.

I'll live for you too.

There were a lot of unspoken implication behind that five-word sentence, and there wasn't a lot of time at the moment to unpeel the layers. But one word kept echoing in her head.

Too.

A mutual understanding without ever explicitly saying anything.

Slowly, she turned his hands around so that she could clasp her hands in his, holding them firmly, and hoping the wordless reply was enough of a response.

"We have spent years trying to figure out what we want, and we're still on the journey to find out," she said softly, then craned her neck to look up at him. "But for now, I would like nothing more than to have you live too, whether it's for me or not."

"You know," he said softly. "I don't know a lot of things. But I think I do know one thing I want."

He paused, and she watched as he hesitantly reached up to her face, cupping her cheek with his hand.

"I want to be with you," he said just as softly. "If you'll have me."

Evaline felt her heartrate increasing more and more after he placed his hand on her cheek, and she didn't know if she should be glad that they were in the dark or not right now, because she knew she was staring at him wide-eyed and nervous. She could only hope that he didn't feel the warmth on her cheeks as the heat rushed to her face and started to make her feel a little light-headed.

"Aren't you afraid?" she whispered with a quivering lip, her hand tightly holding on to his free hand.

"Yes," he said, gently brushing her hand in his with his thumb. "But I feel safe with you."

"I'm afraid too," she confessed as soon as the walls she spent so long to build suddenly melted away at his words. "I'm afraid of losing you again."

"I'm afraid of losing you too," he said, and though he wasn't looking directly into her eyes, she could see his look of sincerity as another tear streaked down his face. "But I can't seem to stop myself from wanting you when you're so close. I never thought I'd see you again, and now that you're here, I don't want to let you go ever again. I couldn't bear to."

Evaline felt her heart get heavier and heavier with each passing word, and she closed her eyes for a moment as she tried to steady her breathing. This felt like anxiety, but it wasn't quite that. It was electrifying, and it froze her chest, and it felt like all the pent-up emotions she shoved down were showing up all at once.

Her breathing became heavier and more frantic, and she felt her eyes sting with tears, but she held it back until she felt one drop down the cheek where his hand held her. She knew at that point that she couldn't hide it anymore.

"I feel the same way," she said with a shaky breath, trying to bite back the cries. "I can't seem to stop myself from wanting you."

James gently rubbed away her tear with his thumb. It looked like he was crying too, but his eyes lowered to her chin. He hesitantly leaned forward, and his hand went behind her neck as his lips landed just below hers.

Despite how close he was and the tears falling down both their faces, Evaline couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh, feeling warm despite the cold air nipping at their skin.

"You missed," she whispered, their noses still touching each other.

James let out a soft, faint laugh of his own as he pulled away slightly. She could feel his warm breath on her face.

"I can't see," he said with a hint of laughter in his voice.

Evaline blinked through her blurry vision until she could get a clearer view of his face illuminated by the camp's fire. His eyes were still glossy, but it looked like the flow of tears had stopped. He had a small, embarassed smile.

With her free hand, she reached up to push his loose strands of hair behind his ear again, and then cupped his cheek, wiping the wet trail of tears with her thumb.

"The memory you shared with me during the dance got cut off at this part," she said softly, holding his face and his gaze.

She could feel the heat in James's cheeks.

"I was too afraid to," he said in a whisper. "At the time."

Although he couldn't see it, her eyes drifted down to his lips as her thumb lined the edge of it. She wanted him to know what she was asking for, even if he couldn't see her non-verbal cues, and even if she didn't outright ask.

"Are you still afraid?" she whispered back.

"Not anymore," he said, barely audible.

Everything inside of her wanted her to drop what she was doing to protect herself, but she chose to shut down the thoughts and voices, only focusing on James. Only focusing on what she wanted. What she had always wanted, but was too afraid, because she didn't want to mess anything up again, all because she didn't know what she was doing.

Because, after all, how does one love someone else if they hadn't been loved before?

Slowly, she leaned in, their noses touching again, until she leaned in further and gently kissed James on the lips, feeling her thoughts and worries melt away as he kissed her back, his hand still holding the back of her neck for support.

She pulled away after a second, but was still close enough that their lips just barely grazed each other.

"You missed," she said, barely audible. "So I had to show you where to go."

"I don't think I have to guess anymore," he said, just as quiet. He leaned in again, just enough so their lips touched again, giving her another kiss.

Evaline leaned into the kiss, closing her eyes and feeling another tear slide down her cheek, even though she wasn't sad.

"James," she whispered after they pulled away, and she leaned her forehead on his, still wanting to be closer to him. "I have missed you so much. So, so much."

"I missed you too," he whispered back. "I never stopped thinking about you."

"I couldn't either," she whispered shakily, feeling another cry at the back of her throat. "That's why I..."

Wanted to forget you.

"I'm sorry," she said instead, holding him a little tighter.

"I know. You know I forgive you. You know I do," he said.

"I know," Evaline continued shakily. "I know. But now you're here, and I won't ever do that again. I don't want to forget you. Us."

He hugged her back a little more firmly.

"I'll stay with you," he said back, like it was a promise. "No matter what comes."

Evaline rubbed her thumb on his cheek, choosing to believe his words. She chose to believe it, because she had witnessed it before. James didn't leave her side, even when she was being difficult.

The memory of their goodbye pierced the hazy cloud of warm memories in her mind, but she pushed it back, knowing that she still wasn't ready to talk about that. But it still lingered in her head as an invasive thought.

"But I'm also so, so scared," she said with a whimper, sliding her head down to his shoulder as she began to wrap her hands around his back for a hug of her own.

She was scared of messing up. She was scared she'd be too clingy, or that he'd grow tired of her, or that he'd be upset enough to want to leave. She was scared that the love and affection he'd give to her wouldn't be enough to fill the empty void of her heart, and she wouldn't be able to fill his needs and desires because of it. She was scared that she'd come to heavily rely on touch again as a way to communicate her affection, and he would resent that, and then she wouldn't know what to do. She was scared that she would become so invested that she'd give him all she had left of her heart, and then he'd walk away with it, and she wouldn't know how to love again, because she would never get over him.

But most of all, she was scared of losing him again. Because it could happen again. It may happen again that she wouldn't be able to save him unless she lost herself, and then he'd leave her, and she'd gradually start feeling again, and then she would once again descend into misery.

She was scared, but she would still do it again.

Because James was worth saving.

"I'm still so scared," Evaline said again with a sniff as tears streamed down her face and she held him a little tighter. "I'm scared I won't be able to save you."

"And I'm scared of you losing yourself again for my sake," he said softly. "But I won't leave this time, and I'll do everything I can to be a support to you. You're worth saving too."

Evaline held him tighter again, and it occurred at the back of her mind that she may be holding on too tight, but she couldn't seem to find the willpower to let go. It was like she was holding him tighter to convince herself that she wouldn't lose him by letting him go.

She didn't even know what to say to that. She could hardly comprehend that he could save her - but she understood enough that saving came in different forms. James was simply saying that he could save her from being alone if or when they repeated their history. Even if she was being difficult.

And it was hard, but... she chose to believe it.

She didn't comment, instead holding him tightly while she was the one who cried on his shoulder this time. He always did this. He always turned the situation around when she was comforting him, so that he was comforting her.

After a moment, James started to gently and steadily rub her back with his thumb. She leaned her her forehead at the base of his neck, pulling him closer to her as she cried. James continued to silently comfort her, and after about a minute, the tears started to subside, and she started to sniff instead of cry.

"How do you always do this?" she asked with a weak laugh. "I'm supposed to be comforting you."

James patted her back lightly.

"I don't know," he said with a similar weak laugh in his voice. "I want to comfort you too. I don't see why we can't comfort each other."

"It's working," she said as she finally loosened her grip around him and then wiped away the tears on her face. "I also want to comfort you. Even though I end up crying in the end."

"You do far better than you've ever given yourself credit for," James said softly, pulling away, though his hands still lingered on her arms. "Your presence alone reminds me that I am not alone, because I know without a doubt that you care, and you will listen. Don't worry about being whatever you imagine to be perfect. I just like it when you're you."

Evaline continued to sniff as she weakly wiped away another tear, watching him talk with glassy eyes. She wished she could make out more of his features. She wished they were having this conversation in the light, away from others. But she still wouldn't trade this moment for the world.

"I like it when you're you too," she said softly.

"Then it's mutual," James said with a small, genuine smile.

Or so it seemed. It was hard to tell in the dark, but she thought she could make out his dimples, which set off butterflies in her chest. She let out another weak laugh as she continued to wipe away her face, her gaze fixed on him.

"You know..." he started softly, still speaking in hushed tones as he spared a quick glance at the others, who were thankfully still fast asleep. "I don't know about you, but I know I didn't imagine any of this happening like this." He paused for a second, glancing again at the others as they slept, and he let out a very quiet, faint laugh. "But I'm glad it did. And... I know we haven't talked about us in a very long time. And I know when we parted ways, there were still a lot of things left unsaid and unresolved. But if you'd be willing to pick up where we left off..."

He looked at her face, and it seemed like he was really trying to meet her eyes, but failing. It was oddly endearing.

"I want to be partners again. We don't need to tell the others. It can just be us. But in my heart, I've wanted it since the first day I saw you again, here on earth. Despite the fears, and despite everything that's happened on the way. One word from you, and I will unashamedly be yours." He paused again, only for a moment, and his mouth spread into a wide, genuine smile. "Officially."

Evaline felt her heart skip a beat when James said he wanted to be partners again. For a moment, she wondered if this was even real. Was she in an vividly realistic dream? Was this her subconscious showing her deepest desires back to her?

No. This was real. She knew this was real.

Her mind emptied of all thoughts, and she had to remind herself to breathe and react since she froze, staring at him, taking notes on his wide grin, and his eyes that were trying to find hers. She wanted to remember this moment.

Her mouth opened to say one word back, but instead she found herself impulsively saying something else back.

"We never did break up," she whispered. "We were only separated."

James looked at her face with a tender gaze, and she felt like she knew, if he would have been able to see her, the look would be more focused. He lifted up his hand again with a small laugh in the back of his throat, and he found her cheek, brushing his fingers against it before he tucked an invisible hair behind her ear.

"I guess you're right," he said softly. "Five long years... and three months of a little relational trouble. But I--"

Evaline couldn't wait. She leaned in and kissed him again, more passionately this time. She was pleasantly surprised when James seemed to melt into it, eagerly leaning in.

She held his face again, and then slowly and gently pulled away after several seconds, still cupping his face with their noses touching.

"I have never stopped loving you, James," she whispered softly, letting the words come naturally out of her mouth.

"And I have never stopped loving you," James whispered back. "Eve."

Evaline closed her eyes, letting herself feel this. Giving in, letting James in, becoming vulnerable.

She would never allow anyone close to her to call her Eve, but for James, she would allow this. She would be Eve and let go of Evaline.

"I still do," she said with a shaky breath, unable to say the full thought.

James rested his hand behind her neck.

"I love you too," he whispered.

Her heart skipped a beat again as her chest seemed to tighten from his words, and she slowly pulled away to see his face. James was smiling, and it was the biggest, brightest smile she had ever seen on him before. It reached into his eyes, causing him to squint a bit before the smile quickly and naturally faded. She was glad she just barely managed to catch a glimpse of it before it could.

He didn't even seem nervous. He was just... happy. Like he was happy to finally say those words out loud. Like he had been sitting on it for some time, waiting for the right moment.

Evaline brushed his cheeks with her thumbs, glad that he wasn't able to see or feel how hot her face had flushed. She felt light, like she was floating through air.

"Yes," she said softly after a long pause. "Yes. I want to be partners again."

James's smile returned again, and he was beaming. Like he couldn't even help himself.

"What I would give to see your face right now," he said softly.

Evaline knew she had been taking advantage of the dark to stare and gaze into his own face, and she did feel a bit bad that he didn't have the same opportunity, but there was something endearing and intimate about being able to study him so close without him even realizing it.

"I don't know if you want to see it," she said with another weak laugh.

"Lies," he said quickly, still smiling, almost goofily now, like he was giddy. "I want to see your smile, and your tears, and everything in between."

Evaline didn't think it was possible to be any warmer, but she felt herself going beet red again at his words. She flicked her eyes down at the ground for a second, but didn't want to look away from his goofy smile as she smiled shyly herself, letting out an airy "hah."

"I'm so embarrassed," she mumbled instead, not even sure what to say to that.

"If you think that means I will never compliment you again," he said softly, with a teasing tone. "You're mistaken. But I suppose I can lay off. For now."

"For now," she echoed as she finally let go of his face and slid it to his arms as well, still gazing at him. She knew that if James were to see her, he'd recognize her to be looking at him longingly. "We have a lot of time in the future to embarrass each other."

"And so, so much catching up to do," he said with a small laugh. He leaned forward so the tips of their noses touched. "But thankfully, plenty of time to do so."

They did have a lot of time. She didn't need to know every answer right away, but that didn't stop the next thought from escaping her mouth.

"Are you happy now?" Evaline asked softly. "Have you figured out what that means?"

He reached behind her neck, brushing her hair gently.

"I think I'm starting to," he said softly.

She just hoped she didn't end up disappointing him.

"I'll personally make it my life mission for you to figure out what it means to be happy," she said, quoting what he told her once before in Nye, but not sure if she remembered it enough to be able to recite it word-for-word.

James pulled back a little, squinting at her with a smile, like he too was recalling the memory.

"You'd be surprised," he said softly. "I'm realizing it really doesn't take a whole lot to make me happy."

Evaline smiled as she looked into his eyes, and then leaned in for a surprise hug. She held him firmly, but then turned her head over his shoulder to kiss his cheek.

"I'm happy you're here," she whispered in his ear.

"I'm happy to be here," James said, and she could hear the smile in his voice. "I think me coming here was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Next to you coming to Nye in the first place. Because then I never would've met you."

Evaline rested her chin on his shoulder, leaning into him some more as she held on to every word, storing it in her mind so she could remember it forever.

"I'm so glad," she said with her own smile taking over her face as she closed her eyes, feeling another tear roll down her cheek, even though she was far from being sad at the moment. "I'm so glad the wolves led me to you."

"I wish I could say something equally poetic, but it was Mel and Elise who led me to you," James said with a quiet little laugh.

Evaline breathily laughed as she smiled and held him a little closer, enjoying his words, his touch, his presence. Enjoying him for who he was.

"Mel would turn to a wolf if she found out we became official while she sleeps only twenty feet away," she said.

"I don't know if I'd want to see that," James said with another quiet laugh. "She already seems so invested in us."

"That's because she's known that I've never stopped loving you for the past five years," Evaline said quietly.

"I'm glad you have a friend like her," James said softly. "She's a good one."

"I'd want my friends to be your friends too," she said sincerely, because she really did mean it, even though her current friendships weren't as deep compared to what she had in the past.

"I think I'm starting to," he said quietly. "Getting to know them, I mean. Mel's been a good friend. And... Hendrik too. I really gave him a hard time, though. I think we both gave each other a hard time, one way or another. I just..."

He let out a breathy sigh, and Evaline gently pulled away just in time to see him smile.

"This is going to sound sad," he said, looking down. "But I'm really not used to people being genuinely nice to me. It shouldn't be as unsettling as it is. I have to keep convincing myself it's real."

"Hey," she said gently, cupping his face again and tilting his chin up so that he'd be angled to see her again. "It's okay. I understand. People have hurt you in the past, but you're safe now. It's okay if it takes some time to get used to it."

"It's like I have to retrain my brain," James said quietly. She watched as his eyes flicked over to the fire, landing on Elise, likely because she was the kindest and most gentle one of the group. "That not everyone's out to get me, or would be, if they knew who I was."

"If you're specficially referencing Elise," Evaline said slowly and carefully. "I can tell you that she would be even more kind and genuine if she found out who you were. Some people choose to always be nice, which I know is hard to understand, but... sometimes, that's all there is to it."

"I'm glad I got to meet all of your friends," James said. She saw his thought process stall visually as his smile faltered. "I mean... most of them."

"There's a good chance that the friends you don't get along with are not actually my friends," she said with a small, reassuring smile even though he couldn't see it.

"I will take comfort in that," he whispered with a small laugh.

Evaline lingered her gaze on him for moment before tearing it away to glance back at the fire. They had a good amount of time, especially since James was supposed to take the final watch. She wished they could truly be alone, but she was grateful that they could have some privacy in the night.

"We can... stay up for the rest of the night," she offered. "Catching up."

"Are you sure?" James asked softly. "I want you to be able to sleep more if you're tired."

"No, no," she said quickly. "If anything, I want you to sleep more." She paused for a moment, realizing that was a better plan. "Yeah. I want you to sleep more. You've hardly tonight, or this entire week."

James paused, and the smile on his face seemed to fully disappear as he looked to the side in thought.

"I would want to sleep," he whispered. "But I'm... afraid to, honestly."

Evaline looked at him with sorrow in her eyes, wishing she could take away his nightmares, or at the very least, share the burden with him so he didn't have to go through it alone.

"Maybe..." she began, her mind racing to find of ways to help. "Would it help if you slept with your head on my lap?"

James had turned to look up at her again, but the moment she made the suggestion, she saw him avert his eyes. Though it was dark, she could see the sudden flush in his cheeks. He was quiet for a moment.

"I'd be willing to try," he said, sounding... shy.

Evaline softly smiled, tearing her hand away from his face so that she could again push the strands of hair behind his ear. It seemed that they got loose during the hug, or when he looked down. Her hand lingered next to his ear for a moment before she placed it back on his upper arm again.

"And if you wake up with another nightmare," she said gently, "I'll be there to immediately comfort you."

James nodded.

"Just... wake me before the others get up," he said. "If I don't get up before then myself."

"Okay," she said as she glanced back at the fire again. "Do you want to sleep closer to the fire where it's warmer?"

James reached down to the blanket that had long since fallen off his shoulders, down to his waist, and he picked it back up, pulling both sides up to his chin.

"I have a blanket," he said softly.

"Okay," she said again, before hesitantly pulling away and then crawling to a neighboring tree. It was a little closer to camp, but he was only sleeping anyways, and she didn't want to be too far since she was supposed to be keeping watch.

She sat down on the base of the trunk, extending her legs as she waited for James to catch up. He got to his feet and followed silently and slowly, and she saw him take Sleepy out of his pocket, holding the little chick in his now blanket-covered hands. He sat down beside her and offered Sleepy to her. Sleepy looked drowsy, but half-awake.

"Can you hold her for a moment?" he asked softly. "Just until I lie down."

"Sure," Evaline said quietly, cupping her hands in front of her so that James could hand her off. He gentle let her scoop Sleepy up, and Evaline brought the chick closer to her chest, watching Sleepy get comfortable on her palms.

As Evaline held Sleepy, James laid down on the ground, wrapping his blanket around him, and then laid his head down in her lap, with his head facing upward, so he was looking at her. He shifted his shoulders a little against her thigh, like he was getting comfortable, and she saw him finally actually make eye contact, and he smiled again, with both his mouth and his eyes.

"What?" she spat out as her eyes darted between him and Sleepy, already starting to feel embarrassed.

"I can see you," he said, still smiling.

"You're supposed to be sleeping," she grumbled.

"I just want to remember the look on your face in this moment," he said, his eyes softening as he seemed to study her.

Evaline looked down and held his gaze for what felt like too long as they looked into each others eyes, and she felt herself blushing again, because his smile and soft eyes didn't fade.

"Um," she finally interrupted, lowering her hands so that she could let Sleepy rest on his chest. "Here's your chicken."

James only seemed to smile wider, with laughter in his eyes.

"Thank you," he said. "I love my little chicken."

"I can't believe we took a chicken on this trip," Evaline said with an amused smile, shaking her head as she watched Sleepy curl on on his chest.

"I got too attached," James said. "I couldn't just leave her there. Who would've taken care of her? Besides, Hendrik would never let me hear the end of it. I told him I would take care of her. I have to keep my word."

Evaline smiled a little wider, and then reached out to brush his hair back so that it'd be out of his face.

"You are a man of your word," she said softly.

James closed his eyes with a small smile.

"I really try to be," he said in a faint whisper.

"And now, I'd like you to try to sleep," she whispered back, still brushing his hair with her fingers even though it was already out of the way.

"Okay," he said, barely audible. His smile slowly faded, and he tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, towards her hand.

"Good night, James," she said softly with a smile. "I'm right here if you need me."

"I know," he whispered. "Good watch."

Evaline lightly laughed through her nose, still smiling as she looked down at him, her fingers running through his hair in a rhythmic motion.

They were partners again. And now she had a few hours to let that fully sink in.

And hours to study him more and more, wanting to memorize every inch and detail of him again.

James was being dragged. He could feel his face scrape across the floor as his body trailed behind like a dead weight, and all of the tension pulling him was in his shoulders, pulling against his sleeves. Someone was holding his collar, yanking it up into the air just enough that his arms were curled back behind him unnatural and his shoulderblades almost touched.

He still felt an unnatural sense of giddy happiness that didn't seem to fade, despite a piece of him feeling like it'd been left behind in the pools of dark sewer water - the smell of which seemed to cover him entirely. A passing thought came and went at the thought of baths, but it seemed improbable, and like it could be unpleasant. But how could anything be truly unpleasant when he felt like this? It was like a dream. A good dream. Not because what happened was good, but because he felt good, and that was what seemed to matter.

Whomever was dragging him dropped him to the floor, and he couldn't remember if he was supposed to get up himself or wait for someone to grab him. He started trying to get up without much thought, and then felt a shoe kick him far too hard in the butt to have been necessary. He fell back to the ground with a grunt, and someone flipped him over onto his back.

He was staring up at Darla.

"Remember your promise, baby boy," Darla said in the most condescending tone possible. She sneered with a small smirk, like she thought she was funny.

He watched Darla reach over him and push open a door.

"You've got company, ladies," she announced, before she hoisted James up by the shoulders to his feet. She flipped him forward, so he was facing the doorway. His body seemed to protest being on his feet, despite the overall sensation of euphoria.

"Go on," Darla hissed into his ear. "Things are going to be easier now that you're not fighting anymore. Just let it happen."

James wanted to obey, but he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do.

Go on... to what?

His hesitation seemed to earn him a slap on the butt, right where she'd kicked him, and it pushed him forward into the room. He stumbled on his feet for a moment, feeling a shiver run down his spine - or maybe it was throughout his whole body - and he fell to his knees. He heard a door slam shut behind him and a lock clicked shut.

James barely caught himself with his hands, but the moment his burned arm made contact with the ground, he fell to the side, hissing. It almost felt wrong, though. The pain felt so dull, and he couldn't understand it. He was too high, and he knew it, but he couldn't drag himself back down to sobriety even if he wanted to.

He stared out blankly at a pair of feet for far too long before he realized they were feet.

A woman cleared her throat.

"They... really put you through the ringer, didn't they," a woman said softly, but her voice sounded distant.

"He must be new," another woman's voice commented.

"Go get some water. Something for that burn," came another voice.

The next few minutes seemed to blend all together as he was lifted up onto a bed, and three women hovered over him, exchanging faces with one another as they'd take his arm freely and dab it, or wrap it, or do something to it. He didn't know anymore. Maybe it didn't matter.

A hand waved in front of his face, trying to grab his attention. He tried to follow it, but it was moving too fast. Then the woman snapped, and pulled her hand away. He was staring up into her face.

She looked worried. Her forehead was creased, and her dark brown eyes seemed to search his for something. He didn't know what he was supposed to give in return. Instead, he just stared up at her, taking in her appearance. Rich, brown skin and dark curly hair pulled back into a short ponytail, with some wild curls falling around her face.

He finally registered that her mouth was moving.

"--if you understand what I'm saying," was the tail end of the sentence he caught.

He only hummed in reply.

"That's better than nothing?" a voice replied on the other side of him. He lazily turned his head to look up at another woman with a very big belly and fiery red hair.

"I can't tell if it's the torture or the ecstacy," the other woman's voice replied. "But he seems to be fading in and out."

"Beka, maybe you can try--" the redhead started to say.

"I hear..." James interrupted. But he hadn't meant to interrupt. He watched as both women's faces locked onto his attentively. Like they were waiting for him to finish.

"I hear you," he said again. "Like... an echo. Off a wall."

They both exchanged glances and seemed to nod. The woman with the curls - Beka - leaned in a little closer, like she was trying to keep his attention.

"I've never seen a burn quite like this before," she said. "You must've seen Mathias."

"I wish we could do more," the other woman said. "But we're not doctors."

"It looks like you've been through a lot more than Mathias, though," a quieter voice came from the end of the bed.

James couldn't quite register what the woman meant until he felt a hand touch bare skin on his shoulder.

Where was his shirt?

"You're covered in bruises," Beka said.

"And scars," the woman at the foot of the bed said.

"Hailey!" the red-head scolded in a whisper.

"I'm sorry," Beka apologized. "We wanted to check you for any other bad wounds. We didn't know."

James wasn't sure if he was glad for the drug running through his veins that was making him feel almost aggressively calm and happy. It felt like it made everything else feel like an illusion. Just his imagination. And he'd wake up from it, and he would be on the cloud he felt like he was on, drifting, carefree, and at rest.

James tried to crane his neck to see who Hailey was, but his neck felt stiff. Swollen, minus the pain of it.

"Hey, hey, hey," the red-headed woman said in a quick whisper. "Don't do that."

She reached down, putting her hands on both sides of his head like she was trying to hold him still. Beka reached over and adjusted what felt like a cool cloth that was draped around his neck, presumably as an attempt to help with the swelling.

"It'll go down," Beka said. "You just need to give it a few hours. Rest."

"A few hours won't fix the rest of him," he heard Hailey faintly mutter.

"Hailey," Beka scolded. "He's clearly been through enough."

"I'm just saying. He brought this upon himself," Hailey said defensively. "They know if they fight what's going to happen to them. It's not our fault he's been beaten to a pulp. Besides... it's going to make everything harder on him if you baby him now. I don't even know why he's here. I thought men weren't supposed to be in the sun rooms."

"It's not babying," Beka retorted. "It's called being a decent human being."

"Can you two just calm down for a minute?" the redhead asked, sounding more sheepish.

"Nira, I am calm," Beka said with a small amount of hostility in her voice.

"I'm not saying you aren't," Nira said quietly, inching closer to James's head.

"Oh my god, Nira," Hailey groaned. "He's not going to protect you. He can't even protect himself."

"Shut up, Hailey," Nira snapped back, though her response was almost mouse-like. "You keep overanalyzing everything we do. You don't know what's going through my head."

A fourth voice cut in, but it was distant like it was across the room.

"Ugh, can you guys quiet down a little?" a woman whined, almost sounding pained. "The baby's kicking again and I'm trying to nap."

That seemed to shut all three women up for a moment, before they continued to talk in hushed tones.

Beka seemed to pull attention back to James, ignoring the other two.

"What's your name?" she asked.

James couldn't remember what his name was supposed to be again.

"I don't know," he said back slowly.

Hailey groaned again. "He's SO high."

"That's okay," Beka said, ignoring her. "I'll call you uh -- Ben? Ben for now? Just as something to call you by until you remember."

"Okay," James said. He wished he could sit up, but Nira was still holding his head against the pillow - albeit, gently.

"Where are you from, Ben?" Beka asked, like she was just trying to keep a conversation going. Or distract him. He didn't know which.

"I'm not from here," he said, looking up and meeting her eyes. That only seemed to make her look more worried.

"Okay..." she said hesitantly. "Can you remember when you got here?"

James was about to try to nod, but he felt pressure on the sides of his head from Nira's hands.

"Last night," he said. "I think. I didn't see... the sun."

Beka nodded, and he saw her eyes drop down to his chest, and his arms. Like she was scanning him. He couldn't tell if she was looking at the bruises or the scars. Probably both.

"They really did do a number on you," Beka said in a whisper.

James found himself wanting to reassure her for some reason. To lighten the mood. Because he felt fine, so it wasn't THAT bad.

"It's okay," he said. "I know how to take a hit."

Beka's eyes flicked up to meet his, and then she looked back down at his body.

"I can see that," she said distractedly.

"You're clearly not a stranger to pain," Nira's voice cut in quietly. "But I'm sorry you've been through so much. This looks terrible."

"You mean HE looks terrible," Hailey corrected.

"One more word and I swear I will slap you both," Beka warned, looking up at both of them with pointed glares. "Do you have no sense of humanity anymore? Nira, stop thirsting over a wounded man. Hailey, mind your tongue. He's--"

"I don't know if you've noticed," Hailey cut in. "But we're in Gaea. Humanity died the moment we got stuck here."

Beka's glare hardened on Hailey, then flicked over to Nira. Nira was brushing James's hair. Beka reached over and slapped her hand away.

"What?" Nira whined. "He just looks so lost..."

Beka took in a deep breath.

"I swear," Beka muttered. "I am at the end of my rope."

"Let go already, then," Hailey retorted. "Join the fucking give-up club."

Beka pointedly didn't look at Hailey, and instead lifted a blanket and brought it over James, pulling it up to his shoulders.

"You," she said to him. "Sleep. Rest."

Then she looked up at the others.

"And you two, and least leave him alone," Beka mumbled. "And me too, for that matter."

With that, Beka turned away and out of James's line of sight. Hailey disappeared too, but Nira lingered by his side for some time, just watching him. He couldn't help but feel uncomfortable under her constant gaze.

"The woman who brought you here," Nira whispered, like she didn't want the others to hear. "She said you're... cooperating now. Right?"

"Nira!" Beka barked.

Nira's eyes widened, and then she ducked down as a pillow went flying across the room, narrowly missing her head.

James couldn't deny that the ecstasy drug made all of this far less anxiety-inducing that he knew it would've been normally, but he could still feel a part of him die inside at the thought of what he'd have to do if he really didn't make it out of this place.

The thought haunted him as Nira's head poked back up after some time, and she returned to watching him.

Longingly.

James didn't know if it was wrong of him to wish for torture again.

When James came to, he felt icky. Like his skin was covered in a layer of grime that couldn't be scrubbed off, and he was stuck that way. Dirty, and scared. He was taking in shaky breaths, but tears didn't come this time.

He felt frozen. He could feel all of his muscles painfully tensed, and now that he was finally waking to it, it was beginning to hurt. He didn't know how long he'd been holding all of the tension in his hands, his arms, his chest, his jaw, his head. He opened his eyes slowly, peeking up and for a moment, felt his heart skip a beat in fear at the thought that he had somehow ended up in some other woman's lap, still stuck in Gaea.

But it was Evaline. She was looking down at him like she had sensed that he was going to wake up.

"Hi," she said gently, but she was visibly concerned. "Did you sleep okay?"

James still felt his heart beating fast, and his breath felt unsteady. The tension in his chest hurt, like his heart was twisting and knotting up tighter and tighter.

"I dreamed again," he breathed out, taking in an unsteady breath.

Evaline's brows drew together in worry, and she glanced at the fire that was slowly dying as the first stages of dawn peeked out of the sky.

"We have about an hour until the others wake up," she said softly, returning her attention to him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know if I can--" he started, taking in a deeper, intentional breath. "Describe it. It was uncomfortable. I don't-- it was after. When I was brought back. to a different sun room."

"Ah," she said softly as she placed her hand gently on his shoulder. "With... Beka? And Nira?"

James nodded slightly. He brought his hands out from under the blanket, bringing them both to his chest, where the tension still remained. Sleepy seemed to have moved her sleeping spot to his belly at some point.

"Yes," he said, pausing for a moment. "Beka... wasn't bad."

He couldn't say much else about the others. He knew they were prisoners, and he didn't expect them to cheerfully accept his wounded self as a burden. But he also hadn't expected to be stripped down to his underwear, fully exposed in front of a bunch of pregant women.

Evaline moved her hand on his shoulder to his chest, setting it on top of his hands.

"There was not a single second of the entire experience in Gaea that wasn't uncomfortable," she said softly. "Not every moment was full of physical torture, but the entire experience was still torture by itself."

James moved one of his hands over Evaline's.

"How did you find me?" he asked quietly. "When you got there?"

Was he as undignified as he thought he was?

"How did I find your location?" she asked to clarify. "Or... your state?"

James squeezed her hand. Evaline squeezed back.

"They took off my clothes," he muttered, barely audible. "...Most of them."

"I know," she said just as quietly. "I had them give you new clothes to put on."

"I hate it," he whispered, closing his eyes. "I hate it when people see me... and I can't do anything about it. And they form their own opinions and make up stories and everyone always has questions. And they stop looking at me like I'm a person anymore. They look at me like I'm shattered glass."

Evaline brushed her thumb over his hand.

"You're not shattered glass, James," she said softly. "You're not broken. You're a living, breathing human with stories to show and tell, even if they're not happy. That's all."

James took in a deep breath, holding her hand just a little tighter.

"I just wish they didn't see me," he confessed in a whisper.

"I know," she whispered back. "It's scary to be seen."

"But now who knows how many people have seen me since the tournament," he said, opening his eyes to look back up at Evaline with his eyebrows pinched together in worry. "I don't know how far those... I forget the word. Recordings. Will reach."

Evaline held his gaze for a moment, deep sympathy washing over her face until she spoke again.

"A lot of people may have seen the tournament," she began. "But no one saw you as broken pieces of glass afterwards. You proved that you could be strong, and not just physically."

"I should've listened to you, though," he said. "I should've listened."

"It's okay," she said gently. "We can't change what happened, and we're safe now. No one was at fault. Neither of us knew the breadth of the situation. You can't blame yourself for this."

James knew she was right, but he couldn't seem to silence the voice in his head that kept telling him it was his fault, for every possible reason it could muster. It was a pattern that repeated over and over again, and he didn't know how to just stop it. Not when he still believed it in his heart.

He closed his eyes again, frowning in a small pout.

"I know..." he said softly. "I know."

He couldn't help but remember the moment a few days ago - or maybe it had been longer - where Evaline kept trying to get him to say that out loud. That it wasn't his fault. It'd felt like he was fighting to get the words out. Fighting to accept it when everything inside of him was telling he'd deserved everything that had ever come his way.

"I wouldn't treat you any different even if you had no scars," she continued softly as she gently squeezed his hand again. "You are more than the scars on your body."

"They don't... scare you?" James asked in a whisper, peering up at her again.

"No," she said with a small smile. "I think nothing of it. Should I?"

James met her eyes, feeling his heart flutter for a moment in his chest as the lingering tension started to ease a bit.

"No..." he said. "I guess not."

"You can think of them like abstract tattoos," she continued, lingering her gaze on him. "Each one tells its own story for the remainder of your life. People naturally want to know the story, but you don't have to tell anyone. You don't even need to tell me. I appreciate you all the same."

James didn't break eye contact as he stared up at her.

"I don't think... I'd mind telling you," he whispered. "Someday."

"And if you ever do tell me, I'd appreciate you more any time I see the scar in question," she continued. "Because it'll be a reminder to me that you're alive and strong."

James didn't even know if he had words to describe the soft melting of emotions in his chest. He just wanted to let her words sink in. He wanted to fully believe that she meant it.

"If anything, I'm just glad that they're scars, and not open wounds," Evaline said as she squeezed his hand again. "I'm glad they have healed."

He looked up at her with deep affection in his eyes.

"I missed you so much," he said with his heart practically bursting.

Evaline smiled softly, her free hand reaching out to cup his face as she gazed at him adoringly.

"I have too," she said softly. "But I'm here now. We found each other."

"And it's the happiest I've been in five years," he said with a small smile.

"Careful," she said with the beginnings of a playful smile. "We have our whole lives to be happy. I wouldn't want you to put it all on the first day."

"Our whole lives," James echoed softly.

Evaline's adoring look seemed to melt away into panic, like she realized she said something she didn't mean to say out loud.

"I -- I don't want to make it seem like I'm rushing into anything," she said quickly, and a louder too. "I'm just..."

James squeezed her hand.

"Shh," he said softly. "It's okay. It's okay. We can take it day by day. We can have more conversations, and think about the future more later. But we don't have to right now."

He looked up at the sky, which was slowly turning from an orange to a blue.

"Besides, the others will probably wake soon," he said quietly, as he slowly sat up. He leaned in towards her and kissed her on the forehead before pulling away, looking at her.

"It's okay," he repeated once more with a slight smile.

Evaline held his gaze, and he watched as a rosy color flushed her cheeks before she tore her eyes away, smiling bashfully.

"Okay," she said softly. "We have time."

"Plenty of time," James agreed. He caught Sleepy in his palm, who'd slid into his lap.

Evaline flicked her eyes from him to to the ground, back and forth until she reached out and gently poked his nose, still with the shy smile on her face. He couldn't help but smile back, giving her a look of curious confusion.

"Your nose is healed," she commented as she pulled her hand away.

His eyes widened a little bit.

"Oh," he said. "Yeah."

He glanced back at Elise.

"Elise healed it for me," he said. "Last night."

Evaline hesitantly followed his gaze back to camp, landing on Elise as well.

"I figured that's what happened," she said. "Mel and Alistair will probably ask too."

"Mel already saw," James said. "So I guess it'll just be Alistair wondering."

Evaline pursed her lips. "Part of me wants none of us to tell him to see if he even bothers asking."

James smirked, flicking his gaze between Evaline and Alistair.

"Oh, come on," he teased. "I can just tell him."

"Or, consider," she said with a start of a grin as she faced him again. "You can just not."

"Elise would probably tell him, though," James said. "Right?"

She nodded. "If we were still in Nye, I'd be betting you coins that she would tell him unprompted in the morning before we all separate."

"Too bad we're both broke, now," James said with a small teasing smile.

"Yeah," Evaline said with fake dissapointment in her voice. "I guess I'll have to use a different currency now... like hugs, or kisses."

James felt his cheeks start to burn, but he held her gaze.

"Perhaps that could be arranged," he said with a small grin. "A kiss for me, if you're wrong, a kiss for you, if you're right."

Evaline smiled warmly as it reached her eyes, and she laughed through her nose, not yet breaking eye contact.

"We'd have to be careful about this new economy," she said. "Wouldn't want inflation to affect the worth of a kiss."

"Oh, yes," he said, leaning in like he was going in for a kiss, and then poking her nose with his finger, like she'd done to him.

"Very careful," he said with a playful smile.

Evaline breathily laughed again as she pushed her hair behind her ear and then rubbed her nose as she looked up at him.

"But maybe not too careful," she said with a smile. "It's okay to splurge every once in a while."

James smiled, but his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of shuffling near the fire. The others were starting to stir. He darted a glance in their direction, seeing Alistair start to roll over like he was slowly waking to the sun. James scooped up Sleepy, plopped her on his shoulder, and then got to his feet, picking up his blanket. He started rolling it up and walking over to Elliot, but he looked back at Evaline, who shot him an understanding smile.

He smiled with his eyes, before he tore his gaze away and started tying down his blanket on Elliot.

Everyone was waking up, and Evaline and James started to casually clean up and get ready, only shooting each other looks of acknowledgment every once in a while. Alistair was the first to get up, then Elise, and things were fairly quiet until Mel stirred awake. It didn't take that much time for Mel to be bouncing around and passing out fruit to everyone to eat. She took James aside for a minute, possibly because they both had a moment last night when he woke up from the nightmare during her watch.

That left Evaline alone with Alistair and Elise, and she knew that Alistair kept staring at James, trying to figure out how his face got healed, although was visibly uncomfortable in just asking. Or he assumed that it had to be Elise, but didn't want to voice the assumption. That seemed more probable.

"I didn't want James to go to sleep with pain, so I offered to heal him," Elise said without prompt to the both of them.

"Makes sense," Alistair simply said, leaving it at that.

"It's nice of you to offer," Evaline said, trying her best to hide her smirk because she knew that she won the bet with James, but he wasn't around to hear it. She tried to meet his eyes, but he seemed preoccupied talking to Mel.

Eventually, the five of them banded together again, and Mel took out her map and went through the plans. She made sure to make the same markings on Evaline's maps too.

A lot of it was what Evaline already heard as preliminary plans, but it seemed that they finalized it without her, and James didn't know any of it anyways, so it was good to reivew.

In two weeks, they will hit another rendezvous point with everyone, which included Hendrik, Malkiel, Tula, and Katya, as well as another doctor and a guard. Hendrik, Malkiel, and the other doctor were traveling together, and they'd be leading the path since the two animals he was bringing would leave behind predatory pheromones that would steer beasts away temporarily. Tula, Katya, and the guard traveled as another group, and Katya would serve as their communication beacon since she was able to receive a radio signal without a radio. All groups had a two-way encrypted radio that only signalled to her. And obviously, Alistair, Mel and Elise were traveling together, and so were Evaline and James.

Mel explained that since the two of them disappeared two weeks before they left, it was assumed that they weren't coming on the trip. She apologized that they didn't bring any extra radios or supplies, but Evaline assured her that they were fine. It was better this way anyways since she didn't want to get too involved with the others. It made her nervous to even have a radio, even if encrypted only to Katya.

They could do this. Just two more weeks of travel following the path that Mel drew out for them. They'd all meet up again, and then reevaluate plans.

Evaline kept glancing at James to make sure he was getting all of this, although she didn't want to give any more signals than necessary since Mel was keen on this type of stuff.

It wasn't like they needed to keep their relationship a secret... But it was just easier this way, especially since the others have assumed that they didn't know each other that well. Only Mel knew, and they could tell Mel. They could... but right now, the peace and quiet was nice. Even though they were going to all separate for two weeks anyways.

Mel, Alistair, and Elise eventually packed up and said their goodbyes. Mel seemed to hang back more, giving Evaline a hug and then saying a long drawn-out goodbye to James. But she and the others did leave eventually, leaving them by themselves.

They were to head to another direction for now, keeping a safe distance from each other until they reached the next safe point. No one had to explain why, because everyone already knew. It was so, if anything were to happen, only one group would be affected, not everyone else.

Evaline helped James pack everything up on Elliot, and before they went on the saddle, Evaline glanced behind them to make sure they were truly alone, and then leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

"Because I overheard Elise explain to Alistair that she healed you," she explained with a smile.

James glanced at her, then also did a quick look around. He met her eyes with a small smirk and narrowed his eyes.

"I think you mixed it up," he said. With one more glance around, he quickly leaned over and pecked her cheek before pulling away. "There. That's for being right."

Evaline let out a small laugh as she rubbed her cheek, smiling warmly as she watched James.

It seemed that everything changed so fast for them the past 24-hours. It seemed that just a week or two ago, she was being annoyed and telling him to leave her alone. And just a few days ago, it seemed that she was still pushing him away, not fully opening up.

But it seemed that now neither of them were pretending to not have feelings for each other. They both had been pretending the entire time, for different reasons. It felt... freeing to not have to conceal it, and be herself. It didn't mean she wasn't anxious, though.

The anxiety, uncertainty, and potential heartache was worth the joy. At least, she'd like to think so. It was too late to turn back now.

"I can get used to being right," she said playfully.

James looked over at her with another small smirk and narrowed eyes before he got up into the saddle. It looked like he was suppressing a small laugh.

She followed him on the saddle, shifting her weight to balance on Elliot as James got ready to go.

"I can also get used to this," she said with a smirk as she wrapped her arms around his waist into a backwards hug and leaned forward.

"Lucky for you, you'll have to," James said with a smile in his voice.

"It's too bad that I don't know how to ride a horse," she said. "I guess you'll just have to always get used to me holding on."

She could feel the laugh in his stomach, but it didn't come out.

"Who knows," James said. "Maybe I'll just have to teach you. We've got time."

The two of them rode for a couple hours, following the river again. Evaline made sure that they were going the right way, and they were - even though it was hard to decipher some of Mel's notes sometimes. They took a few breaks and seemed to continue to tease each other, but it seemed that by the time they were giving Elliot a rest (which he needed since two people were riding now) and were walking on their feet, the teasing and flirting started to dwindle.

The teasing and flirting just about subsided after their third night, however.

Evaline noticed it first when James seemed to ease back into his normal self, and she didn't want to make him uncomfortable - or accidentally embarrass herself more than she already had - so she eased back too. She was just happy to feel more like herself with James, even though she didn't really know what she was doing. But they were figuring it out together.

By the time the third night after the rendezvous came around, she let out a sigh as they sat next to each other in front of the fire, feeling more tired than she usually did. She gave up some of her sleep for James, and she felt so exhausted from the ups and lows of emotions she felt this week. But she knew James was going to stay awake for a while, and she did want to catch up with him now that they both were settled and relaxed. Staying up was a small price to play for spending time with James.

"So, we don't have to do this now if you're tired," James said. "But I did tell you that I'd catch you up on all of the dreams I had little by little. If you want me to, I can share some before we split sleep and take shifts."

That was right. Evaline couldn't believe that that was a priority days ago. She felt violated that James had access to the memories she had undone, although she knew that James had no choice over this matter, so there wasn't any point in being upset. She was glad that they were going to communicate the dreams since that was the best they could do.

"I would like that," she said. "You don't have to share it all at once, but... whatever you can remember, I'd be interested in hearing what you know."

James nodded, and she watched as he got to his feet, walking over to Elliot. He fished out the journal she'd given him over two months ago as he walked back to the fire.

"I wrote some things down," he said as he sat down, flipping through the pages. "Just so I wouldn't forget all of it. I think I managed to write them in chronological order. More or less."

"You've had the dreams since you found the note, right?" she asked. "That was... two months ago, wasn't it?"

"Yes," he said, still flipping with a focused expression. "I think I had about a month's worth of dreams, almost. Something like that. It was a lot. And that's not including recent ones I've had after the City of Angels."

Evaline took a deep breath. "Okay," she said. "I can listen to whatever you would like to share first."

James nodded, and it looked like he landed on the page he was looking for.

"October 8th," he said. "This was two months ago."

"Was this one of the first dreams?" she asked.

"This was the very first one. This was when I was in the cabin where you had all of your old things in storage. When I stumbled upon your journal, and the note. I'd drifted off on the porch, I think," he said. "Something like that."

This had to be something she'd undone, if it was at the cabin. It made her nervous to know that James had seen something. She knew she wasn't at her best state of mind when she was living there.

"It was a brief dream," he said. "It only lasted a few seconds. I saw you looking down at your journal from Nye, and then you lit it on fire, letting it burn."

He paused, but spoke again before she could react.

"I assume that was an undone memory, since the journal is still with us," he said softly.

Evaline brought her legs up to hug as she perched her head on top of her knees, looking off into the fire with a distant expression.

"That was something I've undone, yes," she said just as soft. "That was about four years ago."

James looked like he was thinking as he stared out towards the fire.

"So... I'm seeing further back than just things you've undone around me," he concluded quietly. It sounded like he was voicing something he'd suspected, but was now confirmed.

"I guess so," she said as she glanced up at him. "But since that happened in the cabin, maybe proximity trumps date. I'm not sure how far back you're able to see, though... It's strange that you're able to see things even when you weren't on Earth at the time."

James hummed softly in agreement.

"There were three more dreams I had of you in that cabin," he said gently. "I'm assuming they were from around the same time period, but I could be wrong. Do you want to hear them too?"

"Okay," she said as she flicked her eyes up at him. "I can listen."

He nodded again, looking down into his journal like he was reading things over.

"There was another brief dream," he said. "Mel was with you, and trying to calm you down while you started destroying paintings you had hung up on the walls. That one was only a few seconds, too."

He paused, glancing up at her.

"I do remember that," she said softly, feeling the knot in her stomach tighten as she took the time to find an eventual explanation. James waited patiently, and she sighed, giving in because she knew how desperate she must have looked in the dreams he had two months ago.

Things were easier to explain now that they were more open and honest with each other.

"When I woke up from Nye," she explained slowly, "I wasn't completely myself. But I was enough for me to leave everything behind and find my own refuge. I was sane enough to bring the journal with me, but I didn't really go through it. Not until later."

She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts, and she was grateful that James was still patiently waiting for her to finish.

"I did find Mel, eventually. And it took a long time to travel to the safe zone. By the time I got there, I was, I guess, more of myself again. I started to feel... again. And it wasn't like I didn't remember you during that time, but when I got back on my feet, it was like -- I don't know."

She bit her lip and sighed.

"I couldn't get over what happened with us in Nye," she finished softly.

"I couldn't either," James said just as quiet. "I'm sorry that it was really hard. To get back on your feet again. But I'm glad Mel was there to help you, even if she didn't know the full story."

"Yeah," Evaline breathed out as she drew little circles on her knee.

She wanted to say more. She did. But at the last second, she found herself losing the courage to say it.

"What is it?" James asked gently.

She sighed, biting back the fear and looking up to meet his eyes.

"I think part of the reason why this - us - can be so scary is because I have a tendency to feel too deep," she said. "Or... at least... that was what I was told. I get too attached, so when things are over, I don't even know how to take it."

James was quiet for a moment as he met her eyes with a look of empathy and understanding.

"Loss is hard for everyone," he said gently. "I don't think anyone really knows how to take it when it comes. But I think it's more than okay for you to have emotions. From everything that I know about you Evaline, I don't think you 'feel too deeply.' Frankly, I don't think that's possible. Emotions are emotions, and I think you should be allowed to have them. It's what we do with our emotions when we feel them that makes a difference."

"Then what would have been the proper response?" she asked quickly. "I know I can deal with... loss... in destructive ways. Sometimes even self-destructive ways. I know I do - and it doesn't help that it's tempting when I know I can lash it out and then undo it. I just don't know how else to cope."

James looked to the side with a hint of sadness in his eyes, but he still seemed present.

"I know I'm no shining example of good or helpful coping mechanisms either," he said. "But in my limited experience, what I've found to be the most helpful in moving on in a healthy way is to involve other people in the grieving process. Talking about it is always a good place to start, as painful as it can be. I think being patient with yourself in the process of healing is necessary too. Healing never comes in a day, and accepting the pain of things that have happened takes time. It's different for everyone, I think. And that's okay. It might take longer for you than others, but I think the key is to keep people involved. I don't know that it's possible to heal on your own. Actually, I don't think it's possible at all. Speaking from experience."

Evaline knew James was right. She hadn't really opened up to many people, but she was opening up now, to James. Did this count as part of the 'healing experience'?

"You said that you couldn't get over what happened to us either," she said softly. "How did you cope?"

James looked up to meet her eyes.

"Well..." James said with a sigh. "I actually did talk about you, you know. After you were gone. And you were never just a story. I processed a lot with Amy, actually. I know I've mentioned her before. But, I don't think I ever really fully healed from it. At least, that's what I realized when I saw you three months ago, and everything came back up again."

"I don't think I have either," Evaline said quietly after a brief pause. "We didn't even get to say goodbye."

James looked out into the fire with hurt in his eyes.

"I know," he said softly. "I blinked, and you were gone."

"I don't blame you," she reiterated, knowing that she had said this several times already. "I don't blame you for what happened."

James looked up at her and met her eyes.

"But will you forgive me?" he asked.

It was easy to just say yes, but saying yes meant there was something to forgive, and she meant it when she said that she didn't blame him. James had never meant to hurt her, just like how she never meant to hurt him in Gaea.

"James," she said softly. "I only recall bits and pieces, but I know I was hesitant to be with you even in Nye. I speculated that there would be a time where I wouldn't be able to save you unless I gave myself up, and I've always known, deep down, that when that happened, we wouldn't stay together. And I guess I still feel that way now, a little. It could have been prevented. And I know it could still be. But I mean it when I said I don't blame you. None of this was your fault. It was a difficult time for both of us. You did what you had to do."

"Just because you saw it coming doesn't mean it still hurt. People can still hurt each other without meaning to, and just because it wasn't intentional doesn't mean they shouldn't apologize," James said. "I think we're both able to say that it wasn't as cut and dry as it being either of our 'faults,' but we were both hurt after that, and I want to acknowledge it."

He paused, but only for half a second as he took in a breath.

"I know you only remember bits and pieces," he continued. "And I won't force you to remember. But if we're going to do this - being partners - I think we need to stop avoiding this conversation. I want to talk about it with you, even if it's messy, and even if it hurts. I think we need to."

Evaline took another deep breath. She knew he was right too, as much as it pained either of them to admit. It was easier to talk through things now that they were together, and at least for her end, it was easier now that she no longer repressed what she felt as much.

He was right. They couldn't avoid this conversation forever.

"Can I preface this conversation with something else really quick?" she asked.

"Of course," he answered.

"Then yes," Evaline answered firmly, looking up to meet his eyes to show that she was sincere. "I forgive you."

James was quiet for a moment as she saw his expression soften and melt into relief.

"Thank you," he said softly.

Evaline still was partly convinced that there wasn't anything to forgive on his end, but he was right that this was past the game of laying faults. But... if she had to pick a fault, it was undoubtedly her. Her for threatening Elliot, her for not telling him this could happen, her for letting this all happen in the first place. The latter stung the most because she knew she was repeating it all again.

But since they were already talking about this... she'd circle back to that later.

"Do you forgive me?" she asked, partly blurting it out before she lost the courage.

"Yes," he said with a small, gentle smile. "I already have. I forgive you."

Evaline eased the tension in her body and exhaled, releasing some of the anxiety in her breath.

"Okay," she said softly. "Then I think we're ready."

Ready to have the conversation they have been avoiding since day one, and was the reason why she had left him on Terra for two months by himself.

"Do you want to start with what you remember?" James asked.

"I don't really remember the details," she admitted, trying to steel her nerves. "I know there was a river. And there was Butch and Reed, trying to capture you. I tried to prevent them from taking you... too many times. But I couldn't. No matter what I did, it wasn't enough. And so I decided to remove my limits, and I left a message to warn you. All I remember after that was that I thought I killed Elliot."

James nodded slightly.

"I'm... trying to sort through what I remember, honestly," he said. "I dreamed of all the times you went back for a long time after that, and I lost anything I wrote down about them a long time ago. But that is how it started. Butch and Reed caught up to us, and in the timeline that wasn't undone, we ended up parting ways. I took care of Butch, and you led Reed away. Butch fell into the river. Reed... died."

He paused, looking up at Evaline like was trying to gauge her reaction for if he should go on.

So, Reed died. She didn't recall that, and she had a gut feeling that she was responsible for it. But it was hard for her to feel any sympathy for a man with such evil intentions.

"What happened after that?" she asked quietly.

"We regrouped," James said steadily. "I could tell that you had gone back solely based on how you predicted Butch and Reed's actions, but you'd also warned me, just before they came. But I caught up to you, I knew something was different. You were cold and detatched, and I was worried about you."

There was backstory that James was missing, but Evaline didn't want that to detract from the open and honest conversation they were having. She tried to put herself in his shoes, imagining how concerned he must have been by her sudden change of behavior.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "That must have been difficult."

"I was more worried than anything," James said. "I remembered at the time a few things you'd said about how going back affects you. It wasn't until later that I started dreaming of all of the undone timelines that I received your message you'd left to me in one of them. Just before you let go of yourself so you could go back as many times as you needed to to save me."

He paused for just a moment, before quickly continuing.

"Which, I realize I've told you before. I did dream of the moment where I threw grass in your face, as well," he said. "And you ended up asking me about that."

Evaline averted her eyes in shame. That was back when she thought he didn't have any dream powers, and she thought she would get away with it. She knew now that, even if he didn't have the dreams, she wouldn't manipulate information out of him like that again.

"I'm so sorry," she said again. "I wanted to know without having the conversation. It was manipulative and wrong of me to find out that way."

"I forgive you," James said again, his voice steady but sincere. "In the future -- though I don't expect you to do that again -- let's just talk about it."

"Yes," Evaline said without hesitation, glancing up at him. "I wouldn't do that to you again. We can talk about it... like we're doing now."

James smiled, just a little.

"Thank you," he said softly. "And I'll have a better attitude about sharing."

He looked like he was trying to make a little joke judging from his small, but sincere smile.

"Your attitude wasn't wrong," she said anyways to defend him as she thought back to the memory of him being upset when she asked the questions out of the blue, knowing it was going to be undone. "You wanted to have the conversation early on when we first met each other, but I shut you down. I can understand why you'd be upset when I asked you knowing that you wouldn't remember it."

"I know," James said softly. "It's... good to hear you say it, though. And I'm glad we're talking about it now. Speaking of--"

He cleared his throat, and Evaline used this time to cut in.

"I really am sorry, James," she said. "Of how I treated you before we left together. Shutting you out was my way of coping, but I also didn't want to leave you. I told myself we wouldn't be together again, and there wasn't a point in spending a lot of time together."

James looked up at her and met her eyes.

"I thought we wouldn't be together again, too," he said. "And I forgive you. Neither of us said what we were thinking at the time. We might've been able to avoid some of the pain of the last three months had we spoken about it sooner, but I, for one, am glad that it's resulted in this, even if the road here was difficult. But I want to avoid things like that in the future. So... expect me to say what I mean much more often."

Three months of lack of communication had led to this moment. Evaline was relieved. It was like they could now talk about anything to each other.

"You know," she said as she faced him with a small smile. "I did request many times to say what you mean in Terra."

James raised a brow and tilted his head.

"You know," he said. "I did try to. Once. And it didn't work out so well at the time."

Evaline knew that he didn't mean to, but that still stung a little. It showed in her face as he watched her, but she spoke before he could question it.

"Ouch," she said blankly, then sighed. "I know. I only asked you to say what you mean when it didn't involve me. And I'm sorry for how that conversation transpired. I was just... so... in denial."

She paused as she squinted into the fire.

"About you," she finished softly. "And it hurt so much any time I tried to think about it, nevertheless talk about it. With you of all people. I wasn't ready, but I don't think I ever would've been if we didn't get back together."

"That's fair," James said softly. "And... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be insensitive, bringing that up like that. And I know I've told you before, but I really am sorry about how that conversation went. I'm sorry that I pushed you even though you were giving sign after sign that you didn't want to talk about it and weren't ready."

"It's -- it's okay, really," Evaline said as she glanced at James. "You said yourself that you could only heal if you talked about it, but I kept shutting you down. I know you just wanted to heal... I should be the one apologizing. I inflicted so much damage on you without even knowing it."

James's eyes darted to the ground.

"You can't blame yourself for that, Evaline," James said. "I've... I've struggled with suicidal ideation in the past, too. For a long time, now. If you're referring to the overdose. But I forgive you, for shutting me down. It did hurt, because in my heart I knew I still loved you - and still do. But I also understand. I was running away from it too."

James kept telling her over and over that he forgave her. She knew that he meant it, and she did appreciate the sincerity, but it felt like he was so quick to forgive her. She felt the need to continually justify herself and come to his own defense.

"I don't want to hurt you again," she said with the edges of a pleading face as she glanced at him. "I don't want you to spiral like that again. And I don't ever want to be the reason that you spiral."

James looked up at her and met her eyes. His eyebrows were drawn together and angled upward.

"Evaline," he said gently, though his tone was serious. "I was spiraling long before I got here. I was just desperately trying to hide it."

"Are you still going to hide it?" she asked half-panicked as she imagined the thought of James spiraling without even her knowing and was especially sensitive. "Are you still going to hide it from me?"

"No," he said firmly. "Not from you."

Evaline took a deep breath.

"So you'd tell me now?" she asked, looking up at him.

"If I feel like I'm slipping down that slope, I will let you know," James said. "It's just... hard for me to recognize, sometimes. When I'm in it. But I'll tell you."

Evaline slowly reached out to gently place her hand on his knee.

"I just don't want anything bad to happen to you," she said softly. "I can't save you from yourself."

James gently placed his hand over hers.

"I know," he said quietly, looking down at their hands. "You know... in the memory you undid, where you asked me about how much I remembered after our parting in Nye, I said something before it ended. You'd said something about not wanting to hurt me again. You didn't want us to hurt each other again. And I said there was no way for us to guarantee that. And while I agree that I would never want to hurt you, I know life isn't that simple."

He looked up to Evaline, meeting her eyes.

"Part of being in a relationship is telling each other if we do hurt one another. Sometimes it happens without us realizing it. I won't know unless you tell me, and vice versa. I would never intentionally try to hurt you, but sometimes our words and actions communicate things we never meant to say. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is... you don't have to be so worried. I would rather you be yourself - while we figure out what that even means - and we in turn work out the conflicts together than have you feel like you have to be perfect all the time. Because that's impossible. For both of us."

Evaline let his words sink in, and each sentence started to mold together into a mix of emotions she didn't even know the name of. She felt her chest tighten, but it wasn't out of anxiety.

She was so used to figuring things out on her own... but suddenly the weight of responsibility had been lifted, and she didn't even know what to do with the extra space that was vacant in her chest.

"You are not responsible for my happiness," James said. "You are simply one of the sources of it. But it is not dependent on you."

He reached over, brushing his fingers against her cheek, and then tucked her hair behind her ear. It was a simple action, and even simpler words, but the moment of vulnerability made tears well up behind her eyes again.

"Evaline. You do make me happy. So very much," James said with a small smile and a look of tenderness in his eyes. "But the burden of my happiness is not yours to bear. You can simply just be with me. And that is more than enough."

Evaline couldn't stop the tears from coming down again as she heard his words and looked into his eyes. One blink, and it was like all the pent-up sadness came rushing out. His assurance forced it out of her.

"That's all I've ever wanted," she said as she repressed a sniff, looking down. "All I've wanted was for you to be happy. Even if we aren't together, and even if I'm not in the picture."

"But I want you in the picture," James said softly. He reached down and grabbed her hand, holding it firmly. "And I'm happy with you in it. It's that simple."

Evaline looked down and squeezed his hand, but not so much that it would hurt. She wanted him to know that she was listening, even if it took her a moment to collect herself from the tears.

"I didn't know that back then," she said quietly. "That's why I put you in Terra. I thought you'd like it. I thought distance away would be good for us. I just wanted you to be happy without me."

"Maybe I could have," James said softly. "If I wasn't still in love."

Evaline looked up at him with teary eyes.

"I'm sorry it took this long," she said. "I'm sorry you had to wait this long for me to realize that too."

James was watching her with deep compassion in his eyes, and she saw him smile ever so slightly.

"I told you, Eve," he said quietly. "I'd wait for you. As long as it takes."

Evaline sniffed and met his eyes for a few seconds, noting the campfire reflecting back in his deep blue eyes, like a symbol that he meant it with a burning passion.

James had implied that he was lucky to have her since she cared and listened, but without the weight of responsibility of his safety and happiness on her back, she didn't know what to give back.

He said that just being there was enough, and that he'd wait for her. He'd wait for her in case she didn't want to be there, because she would eventually turn back around.

What did she ever do to deserve someone like James?

It was tempting to internalize the guilt and figure this out by herself again. But she knew that James was being more open and honest with her, and if she truly had nothing else to give him, then the least she could do was be open and honest back. Even if she didn't want to say any of these thoughts out loud.

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you," she whispered as she looked down and another tear rolled down her cheek. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve your love."

James held her hand gently between his, and still held her gaze.

"Evaline, you deserve to be loved," he said with the utmost sincerity. She could hear the conviction in his gentle tone. "And I consider it a great privilege to get to do so. You don't have to earn my love. I love you, and I choose you. Troubles will come and go, and we'll see each other at our best and our worst. But that won't change my mind. I love you, and you don't have to convince me that loving you is worthwhile - because I believe without a single doubt in my mind that it is."