Young Writers Society

Its hard to look ahead
When there's just nothing there
Its hard to see past walls
When they're blindingly bare
Imagining a world
Without you there
Is like breathing in water
Because there isn't any air
The truth is cruel
And the world of water is rushing closer
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim

Sometimes its hard to look up
When the ground fascinates me
I try to hold my head high
But the suns in my eyes, flickers through the trees
Imagining my mind
Without you there
Is like trying to scrub the dirt off
When it isn't even there
The truth is cruel
And a world of water is rushing closer
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim


Its hard to walk past you
When you're standing in the way
Its hard to forget you
When I've thought of you two-hundred and sixteen days, straight
Its hard to say goodbye
When your trapped in the tree-house of my mind
And its hard to say the truth
When its so strong you could feel it from a metre away.

It will be hard to hug you
Because i might just not let go
Its hard to stare into your eyes
When I might drown in them
I might drown

Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim
Let me swim

Its hard to say goodbye
Tear fall from my eye
Let me swim

Hello NaRachel

I liked this poem especially at the beginning, at some places it rhymed and the others not so much, i think this poem would actually be awesome if you could make it rhyme more.... it actually seems like a poem that would do much better with rhyming.
And at the end you have written;

"Its hard to say goodbye
Tear fall from my eye
Let me swim"

I think you mean A tear fell from my eye or Tears fell from my eyes.

But other then that i really liked it, keep it up

Wow. I really want to hear this sung! I agree with hudz96, that your rhyming wasn't always consistent. Actually, I thought the parts that didn't rhyme were some of the strongest emotionally. For example,

It will be hard to hug you
Because I might just not let go

or

It's hard to walk past you
When you're standing in the way
It's hard to forget you
When I've thought of you two-hundred and sixteen days, straight
It's hard to say goodbye

My one big problem with this (you might have noticed) was you Its that should be It's. There are a lot of them. But other than that, I thought these lyrics were great! Never stop writing!

This wasn't that bad of a read. I agree with some of what the other people were saying. You're getting better and better with each new one that you post

I'm curious as to why the ground fascinates you..lol

Does the ground not fascinate you too?