Young Writers Society

Hi! First off, thanks for reviewing:) This is a new direction in songwriting for me. It's much more abstract and less perfectly rhymed than the work I normally do, but this literally took me 10 minutes I was so inspired! So, please tell me what you think!


(Help me think of a new title, I reallyyy don't want to just call it "Crazy."


I’m laying it all on the line for you
I’ve laid it all for you for so long
I’ve been walking it out for you
Waiting it out in this broken song
And did I ever forget to tell you
That I’m crazy about you?
Yeah, I’m crazy for you.

And all the things that make us part
We have to put them aside
‘cause ever since you stole my heart
I knew that I could never hide
Because when something’s everything to you
It’s all you can do
To try to hold on.

And as the time goes around
The raindrops just bring me down
Oh and they fall they fall
Straight to the ground
And all my tears couldn’t
Stop this rain from flooding it up
'Cause you're all I think of
You're all I ever think about

And all the things that make us part
We have to put them aside
‘cause ever since you stole my heart
I knew that I could never hide
'Cause when something's everything to you
It's all you can do
To try to hold on.

Oh, and have I ever told you
That I’m crazy for you?
All I am is crazy for you
Just crazy
For you

And all the things that make us part
We have to put them aside
‘cause ever since you stole my heart
I knew that I could never hide
'Because you're everything to me
And you're all I can see
So I gotta hold on
I'll keep holding on.

Hey there! I'm April and I'll be reviewing your lovely piece today! Sorry if this review isn't really up to par, I'm still a noobie learning the ropes. All of that aside, let's start this review.

I’m laying it all on the line for you
I’ve laid it all on the line for you for so long This line pretty much restates the first, tad redundant.
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I’ve been walking it out for you
Waiting it out in this broken song
And did I ever forget to tell you
That I’m crazy about you?
Yeah, I’m crazy for you. [color=#FF0000]This line is not needed, again you kind of already stated this point above.
Now that I’m saying it now
Everything’s getting so much clearer
And as my time grows nearer Great way to add a rhyme, good rhythm.
You’re all I think of
Yeah you’re all I think about

And all the things that make us part
We have to put them aside
‘cause ever since you stole my heart
I knew that I could never hide
Because when something’s everything to you
It’s all you can do
Just to try to hold on. Great stanza. Love it!

And as the time goes around
The raindrops just bring me down
Oh and they fall they fall
Straight to the ground
And all my tears couldn’t
Stop this rain from flooding it up
And all these pretty words
I wish they were all I needed
To be heard
But you’re never there,
You’re just never where I am.

And all the things that make us part
We have to put them aside
‘cause ever since you stole my heart
I knew that I could never hide
Because when something’s everything to you
It’s all you can do
Just to try to hold on.

Oh, and have I ever told you
That I’m crazy for you?
All I am is crazy for you
Just crazy
For you

And all the things that make us part
We have to put them aside
‘cause ever since you stole my heart
I knew that I could never hide
Because when something’s everything to you
It’s all you can do
Just to try to hold on…
So I’ll keep holding on.

Overall, I thought this was great! It had great rhythm, I clearly understood the pointm and it was very well written! Other than a few little nitpicks I really enjoyed this piece. Thank you for putting it up and keep that ink flowing!


~~April~~

"It’s all you can do
Just to try to hold on." I think it would run a little smoother if you took out "just" but I think that the rest of the song is excellent. I'm not sure what the title should be, sorry.

Thanks for the reviews everyone!♥

Hi, River!

Ooh, I know what you mean about the rhyme thing. I'm always rhyming with my songs for some reason. It just feels better! But there are a lot of good songs that don't rhyme, and I think yours certainly works well. It's still got some good rhythm, and that's really all that matters! If it works with the music, then so be it.

I really love your chorus. I must say this, and I must, like... gush. I love your chorus! It's got a great rhythm, the rhyming kicked in (which is okay 'cause it just worked so much better after a non-rhyming verse), and just... really awesome.

The verses were alright. I think verse one could be rewritten to better reflect verse two, though! Verse two is, by far, my favorite verse of the two. There's more imagery (the raindrops/tears) used for the listener to better understand the situation and get a feel for what's going on. The first verse -- the first half is what I consider a default or filler line. When I write, there are always those few lines I end up thinking about first before getting back on track -- Lines like "I don't know..." or "I love you..." Another one is talking about "this song for you", and the first half of the verse covers that. It's a bit cliche in that respect, and it second half is alright. The "Everything's getting so much clearer / and as my time grows nearer" lines matched nicely with the raindrop metaphor in the second verse. I'd consider playing around with that!

So yeah. That should help the listener get a better hold of the situation. It gives more meat to the song and makes it more unique. Otherwise, it'll just sound like "one of those songs" or a song too universal for people to really care for -- because they'll feel they've heard it before! Put in a little more flair and make it more interesting by itself. That is, provide more for the situation -- what the speaker is crazy about in this person and such. This will, inevitably, give you an idea for a better title too! You'll have more to work with!

Great job, though! It's a wonderful start, and you could turn this into something really awesome if you think about it for a bit.

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

Hahah, thanks so much! I'll see what I can do!:)