Young Writers Society

So, this song is just for fun, it's not serious, and YES I know how cliche it is.

Reviews and likes are appreciated, and thank you for them in advance! *tends to forget to thank people*


Verse 1:
It’s not easy,
to look in your eyes,
and say the thing,
that will save us.

I know you understand
But that doesn’t make it easier,
My heart is beating faster,

and I want to say
What I can’t.
And I want to sing,
about you and I.

Chorus:
Hold my hand.
See me through,
This pain is incircling and I don’t know how to get out.
This pain is filling me,
like a glass never empty.

See me through
it’s so hard to say goodbye
See me through
It’s so hard to say goodbye.
When goodbye is all you have left,
then you can’t let it go,
So don’t say goodbye.
Cause it’s so hard.
To say.

Verse 2:
It’s not possible.
To see without the tears.
It’s not easy,
To hear without the fear.
I see the world differently,
when I’m with you.
The world isn’t as scary,
when I’m looking through your eyes.

and I want to say
What I can’t.
And I want to sing,
about you and I.

Chorus

Bridge:
You say,
Hey, Spark it’ll be okay,
Don’t worry,
it’s much to late,
But somehow
The world looks a lot more dark,
at night under the stars...

Verse 3:
I close my eyes,
and my heart keeps racing
I know what’s on the tip of your tongue.
I can’t be brave.
I can’t be strong,
So don’t say.
Don’t say.

and I want to say
What I can’t.
And I want to sing,
about you and I.

Chorus

Ending:
Don’t say.
Goodbye.
It’s not as easy as it feels in your mind.
So don’t say,
Goodbye.

Oh Anna-Spark! This is really touching and it brought a huge smile to my face. You're great and eventhough, like you said, it contains clichés, I don't care because I think they're amazing clichés <3

I actually make up a melody in my head and and sounded really nice and flowed well - easily.

I liked all the cliche! Really, it was a sweet poem, easy to identify with. I think you may have had too much punctuation that wasn't needed. So, you may want to check that. As for other nitpicks and reviews, I'm sorry to say I have none. So this isn't very helpful, but just wanted to say good job. Although, for the next time, try and come up with more description and imagery!

I really liked this it was touching and cliché but completely true because lots of times you think that in real life and that's why it seems cliché, because you don't want to admit that its true. The only thing I would change would be this line in the Chorus:

This pain is incircling and I don’t know how to get out.

Just because I like things to rhyme and it makes a song more... songy I would rewrite it like:

This pain is encircling and I don’t know what to do.

You don't have to of course; I'm just weird and like rhymes. And just a little typo there. Haha. Great job keep up the great work!
Four owls out of five.