Young Writers Society

Not finished yet a bit darker than usual... here goes:

I still feel
connected
to you
Like tiny threads hold me back
Little drops turn white paint black
I haven't communicated
with you
in so long
I still hear your words in my head
Mistakes turned memories red
And i still feel
connections
to you
Mutual friends and complications
Left colourless from the frustration
I still can't
communicate
with you
You can't unsay the things you told me
I know you can't deny you know me

Chorus:
Connection for connections sake was the wrong thing
It broke us, but still holds parts together
How did I do the wrong thing every time?
How could you watch as I slowly lost my mind?
Our connections in the end were for all the wrong reasons
But I still feel them there
Can you feel them there?

Coda(?)
The backbone still remains
Broken and old, bleached and decayed
It keeps my heart attached to yours, though you try to scrape it off
And you were like a blade
If I got too close I'd cut myself
And all the games we played
Made we want, to want, to hurt myself
But I didn't
Still I can't say that it didn't hurt at all
Can't say what is unsaid
Still, Can't brush away scratches from the fall

I thought this was a good start! I could feel the yearning in this song. It really did reach out to you. Keep on writing!

Very good! i LOVED it! kind of emo-depressive, buuuuut, that made me able to relate to it even more so. i LOVED IT! LOVED IT! LOVED IT! LOVED IT! LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! very very very very very good job. i love the use of language and therefore the idea behind it, so it reached out to me and engross me in it. i cannot wait to see more work ffrom you. Good Job.