Young Writers Society

You know you can't weather the storm
but you sure can wither my heart
So we're not together this morn
and this damn day shall surely start
Even though my world has been torn
And here I am...

At a crossroad
which way shall I go?
I don't even know
Fogged up crossroad
Which way shall you go?
Do you even know?
Know...

I am pushing to feel the norm
I just can't help falling apart
As I recall the things we've sworn
I sigh, for it had to depart
And we just knew that we've been warned
And here we are...

At a crossroad
which way shall I go?
I don't even know
Fogged up crossroad
Which way shall you go?
Do you even know?
Know...

To think that when this love was born
That it would be carried by cart
To a place where all is forlorn
To slowly decay part by part
Such a heavy coat is now worn
Made from its heavy fur
Our future's such a blur
And here we stand...

At a crossroad
which way shall I go?
I don't even know
Fogged up crossroad
Which way shall you go?
Do you even know?
Know...

At a crossroad
Which way shall we go?
We don't even know
Painful crossroad
Which way do we go?
Do we even know?
No!!!!

No!!!!
We don't!
We don't!
We just don't!

No!!!!
No, no
We don't
We don't
We just don't know

We just don't know
We just don't know

No!!!!!

-er I really hate flamers don't you? Just picking at people wounds, but honestly these lyrics are a bit to cliche for me. I do however get a vary emotional (angry) vibe from it. yeah, but the whole crossroad thing is like to oldest trick in the book. It seems like you have talent, but think outside the box a bit, think of other metaphors for choosing between choices, or whatever. ANyways, Good Luck!
-LLW

I actually like the concept of this. I'm sorry, I don't usually review lyrics so I'm probably pretty bad at this, but I like to write music also and the thing I always go for is trying not to use washed-up lyrics and stuff, which by my judgement you've definitely succeeded in avoiding. I like the creativity, and I don't know what kind of style you were intending, but I can picture this sounding really good in multiple forms.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

No to be mean I had to read over this a few times before I got what you meant...It is kinda confusing to me but other then that I liked it...but instead of all the No's why No try a strong version of No if there is one.

There were parts of this song that made me gasp with amazement because they were that good I think in songwriting it's okay to use cliches such as a crossroad... most songs are about the same things and given there's billions of them out there we are bound to come across some reiterating themes here. Anyway, you already know that i admire you're work but i really think you've raised the bar of quality even further in this one. The first two lines are my absolute favourite, I was mind blown!!!! So yes, the first verse is very good. Then i got to the chorus and thought, yeah it's a bit simple but to be honest I think that's a good thing. The simplicity of the chorus' contrasts to the verses and also give's your mind a bit of a break. Also some of the best songs have really intricate, metaphoric verses and simple choruses... take John Mayer for example. So my other favourite

To think that when this love was born
That it would be carried by cart
To a place where all is forlorn
To slowly decay part by part

It was just insanely good!! This is the kind of lyrics that I would expect to hear in my favourite songs... they are better than most published lyrics out there- you have got to do something with this talent!!! I also loved your ending, especially the way you added in

Painful crossroad

to the chorus, which you could say makes up for the previous simplicity of the chorus...
Having said all that, I do not believe this song is perfect. Because some of the bits are so good it kind of spotlights on the parts that aren't. Your second verse just didn't grab me at all. The end of this verse is pretty good but i just don't really like the

As I recall the things we've sworn

or to be truthful it's rhyme partner

I am pushing to feel the norm

. Ok actually I don't really like

I sigh, for it had to depart

either... I'm sorry. To clear it up, when i say i don't like these parts I mean it as a comparison, I don't like theses parts as much as the rest of the song.I can get that your probably trying to get across real emotions that you are feeling or things that you have done in this verse but I just think you could word it more eloquently or add in another metaphor or something, because your other two verses have brilliant metaphors and this one just seems to lack it a bit..
Also, the whole fur coat thing doesn't really work for me either but I am only one opinion.

Keep up the spectacular work, I really enjoy reading it all -Rachel

I actually feel like you're repeating yourself every now and then!
The idea is really creative and nice....But you're order of words should be fixed!