Wow, well, this is really explicit. You have some grammer errors. I can tell you really hate this girl, but there are other words you could use to express your hatred.
If I had my way I’d do duct-tapig
It is taping.
Life is full of hard times and good times. Lift your chin up, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Wow. You really didn't hold back on your feelings. I like how you vented by using lyrics, but I'm sure there are other word choices you could've used, like what creativemuse said.
I'm also around your age and I'm used to cursing and everything, especially on a regular basis. Only problem is I've found this isn't really the site to show off that explicit side. I think how you vented your feelings into lyrics is a good thing, but often it is a personal thing. Definitely should be rated 18+ and I suggest you think about what you upload. It not only gives people a picture of what kind of person you are it leaves a permanent mark, good or bad.
Good luck,
~Day
"If the king doesn't lead, how can he expect his subordinates to follow?"
Wow! I can see you really hate this girl. And yeah, expressing it is the best way to get rid of the feeling but wooow! Ok, one thing I really liked is how you used rhyme eventhough you're expressing rage. It shows your creativity.
But I agree with the above posts that you should rate this 18+.
Keep writing!
when she needs to shelter from reality she takes a dip in my daydreams
Lord have mercy... this is severe.... Maybe you should talk to someone about these sorts of feelings ( no joke). *runs away*
( I agree with the notion that the rating should be 81+ ) You don't really reveal *why* you are so angry- this jut makes you looks like a very violent and sensitive person, to be truthful. It's just one big rant with a whole lot of spaces in between, lol. Just cut down on the vulgarity and put raw, and real details to *why* you feel so angry in its place. And the "slang" doesn't add to it, either. I think that you should use the actually normal term to help your poem and the reader's overall opinion of you.
Pardon this-
E-ye-e-ye-e-ye-e-ye-e HER PUSSY’S BROKE☺
-Not really needed and it's improper English, lol.
Some of your rant I can empathize with. The opposite sex can be very mysterious and very cruel as well. I'm not sure why this girl made you so angry. Perhaps you asked her out and she rejected you. I wouldn't suggest writing more lyrics like this because it gives you the impression that you are some misogynistic potenital raper a-hole.
Life is full of hard times and good times. Lift your chin up, Ladies and Gentlemen.
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