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Young Writers Society


Fade Away



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Gender: None specified
Points: 300
Reviews: 0
Thu Jun 09, 2011 6:39 am
Danicalifornia26 says...



I lay in the dark
Of a life unimaginable
But yet I am living it
I may not know the future


But yet I have you here
You have stuck by my side
Never ran and hide
For the pain and fear I shared


Chorus
When I talk to you
Life becomes okay to me
You seem to make the pain
Fade away (x2)
Like a distant memory


It doesn't exist with you around
How do you do it to me?
It just seems so simple for you
Stay around for as long as you can


You make me smile on command
Without even a sound
I know your heart
Even with the space between us


Our love is strong and kind
For you say
No need to worry
For my arms are here
Everything will be okay, my dear

(Chorus)

I am luckier than I know
To have someone that cares
For I will keep you close
And forever in my heart.
  





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10 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 10
Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:44 am
jenmarie says...



I lay in the dark
Of a life unimaginable
But yet I am living it
I may not know the future


But yet I have you here
You have stuck by my side
Never ran and hide
For the pain and fear I shared


Chorus
When I talk to you
Life becomes okay to me ----> these first two lines were awesome!
You seem to make the pain
Fade away (x2)
Like a distant memory


It doesn't exist with you around
How do you do it to me?
It just seems so simple for you
Stay around for as long as you can


You make me smile on command
Without even a sound
I know your heart
Even with the space between us


Our love is strong and kind
For you say
No need to worry
For my arms are here
Everything will be okay, my dear ---> the last two sentence was my favorite!!!

(Chorus)

I am luckier than I know
To have someone that cares
For I will keep you close
And forever in my heart.

--------
*smiles*
i love it so much!!! youre composition was neat!
~jenjen

i love you. and won't get tired of saying i love you.

jheron
  





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22 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1138
Reviews: 22
Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:49 pm
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bsbfan19 says...



Thats a really good lyrical poem the song flowed easly togather. Awesome job!! :)
"i will not bow"
  





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23 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 1046
Reviews: 23
Thu Jun 09, 2011 3:28 pm
dragonlover92 says...



I like it!
in a world full of copycats be an original
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 300
Reviews: 0
Fri Jun 10, 2011 6:32 am
Danicalifornia26 says...



Thanks so much !! I will post more stuff soon :).
  





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31 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 914
Reviews: 31
Fri Jun 10, 2011 8:25 am
Bromthebard says...



This song sounds quite good as far as message is concerned, my question is, What style of music are you planning on this being? I do love it, it has a good rhyming pattern, it flows smoothly between verses. I suggest, unless there will be a lot of instrumental parts in the spaces or at the beginning and end, that you make it a little longer, maybe expand on the story you're trying to convey. It is very good, keep writing.
I am.... a New Age Inkling! We must continue the fight for young authors, for it is the brave mans part to write with glory or with glory be rejected! (taken from a fellow New Age Inkling, Highlander)

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book. ~Author Unknown
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 2
Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:23 pm
vanillavampire99 says...



I really liked it! It flowed and made since! Nothing to change :)
Nisa ~VanillaVampire99
  








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