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Gender: Female
Points: 2830
Reviews: 114
Wed May 04, 2011 3:33 pm
Butterfinger says...



Hey! This is kind of rough, tell me what you all think!

Vrs 1
you never told me that you love me
you never asked me for my name
but when our eyes met it was magic
well, baby, two can play this game


Chorus:
the way you move
the way you touch
the way you kiss me oh so much
the way you whisper in my ear
the way I scream but you can't hear


Vrs 2
It wasn't meant last forever
not even through this dizzy night
but I will love you like a diamond
filled with darkness in this night


Chorus:
the way you move
the way you touch
the way you kiss me oh so much
the way you whisper in my ear
the way I scream but you can't hear
the way I feel you when you lie
it makes me want to, want to die

Vrs 3:
it's perfect when come together
and tumble down onto the floor
but you're just waiting for the right time
to make it, make it out the door

Chorus:
the way you move
the way you touch
the way you kiss me oh so much
the way you whisper in my ear
the way I scream but you can't hear
the way I feel you when you lie
it makes me want to, want to die

Vrs4
you left me bleeding in the darkness
so broken there's no chance to heal
it's like you just needed a body
something warm that you could feel


Chorus:
the way you move
the way you touch
the way you kiss me oh so much
the way you whisper in my ear
the way I scream but you can't hear
the way I feel you when you lie
it makes me want to, want to die
Last edited by Butterfinger on Fri May 06, 2011 3:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
If you want to be a great writer, don't think about what you're going to write, just write it.

I'm a huge fan of writers block! When your brain halts, with no direction for where you should go, it gives you threads. All you have to do is pull and unravel the story you're meant to write.





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Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 1
Wed May 04, 2011 6:06 pm
imalivetoday says...



I really like these lyrics. It isn't one of those songs that just repeat the same things over and over again; it actually has a structure and meaning. Not to mention the fact that it's really catchy. (:
"Friends are like stars; they're always there even if you can't see them."
"Shards of glass surround me. If I step on one, there's no coming back."





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Gender: Female
Points: 2647
Reviews: 313
Wed May 04, 2011 8:22 pm
TylynRae says...



I really loved verse four. it's like you just needed a body something warm that you could feel. I really enjoy that.It's a great line. The one qualm I have with this is that you said baby. But that's just me, I've always had a thing with that word, haha. But I enjoyed it a lot and I think you describe what a lot of people have gone through or are going through right now. Keep it up =]
TylynTyrannosaurus<3 (tydecker777)





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Gender: None specified
Points: 1096
Reviews: 2
Wed May 04, 2011 10:46 pm
Gwenavera says...



"the way you move

the way you touch

the way you kiss me oh so much

the way you whisper in my ear

the way I scream but you can't hear"

I loved the last line! At first I assumed it would be a bit ordinary, some sort of love song...then it takes a turn that is oh, so pleasantly surprising. The hint of dark is just lovely :)

Overall I very much liked it, though (as tydecker777 said) I do have a bit of unfortunate schema that makes me shiver at the word "baby" when not directed at drooling infants ;)

Thankfully, there was no cliche follow up to the "baby", which is what I enjoyed most. Your lyrics are very refreshing.

Thanks for writing :)

-Gwenavera








A beautiful funeral doesn't guarantee Heaven.
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