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Young Writers Society


Phantom Dad



User avatar
29 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1040
Reviews: 29
Thu Apr 28, 2011 9:59 pm
dregymayfield says...



Will I fail as a father?
The question's such a bother
But it makes its self at home-
further feeling not my own
Never got any closure
The questions haunt this loser
as they wait and sit at home-
ever feeling not my own

You have created life just to give it away
You left all of these blanks to which I can't fill in
Nowhere
you're nowhere
No one
You're no one

As I learn who I am
I do not quite understand
how to ever feel at home-
further feeling more alone
Pictures I have seen of you
Have you drunk and bruised so blue
Thoughts come as I sit at home
You know not that I'm alone

Nowhere
You're nowhere
No one
You're no one
(Hey dad!) You have created life just to give it away
(Hey father!) You left all of these blanks to which I can't fill in
(Hey dad!) You have created life just to give it away
(Hey father!) You left all of these blanks to which I can't fill in
No one
You're no one
Nowhere
You're nowhere

When I was born did you ever see me?
(so fragile and vunerable)
Did you ever hold me so close to you?
(so fragile and vunerable)
Or were you just wasted in your death spot
(so fragile and vunerable)
The fucking liquor you'd rather cradle
(so fragile and vunerable)

(Hey dad!) You have created life just to throw it away
(Hey father!) You left all of these holes to which I can't fill in
(Hey dad!) You created life to place it aside
(Hey father!) Left holes to which I will never fill in

I don't look like you
I don't want to look like you
I don't act like you
I don't want to act like you
I don't want to be you
I will never be like you!

No one!
You're fucking no one!
Nowhere!
You're fucking nowhere!
Nowhere!
You're fucking nowhere!
No one!
You're fucking no one!
Last edited by dregymayfield on Fri Apr 29, 2011 5:59 am, edited 5 times in total.
  





User avatar
51 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1869
Reviews: 51
Thu Apr 28, 2011 10:49 pm
NLPrincess13 says...



it's very well!!
wow it's so emotional, i love this piece than the last one!
it's good,again very good.....i want to hear it now! can I?
just small opinion. the last verses, the last 3 verses specifically, i think it can just double the first to than repeated four times. and the last one three times!
keep up, i'd love to hear more from you! :D
<3 Princess of Neverland <3
  








Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.
— Helen Keller