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Young Writers Society


Terrible One.



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Gender: Female
Points: 1023
Reviews: 2
Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:21 am
IzzieLovesTurtlez112 says...



I'm aware that is isn't finished. But I just want some advice/feedback thanks guys :)

Terrible one, terrible two, terrible three, terrible four,
Wishing is done, nothing for you, nothing for me, at the door.
You don’t understand me but I know what I’m saying today,
I don’t understand you but I know that you see your own way.

Get over it, get on with your life.
Get over it, you cant fix your strife.
Just move on, be hap-py as can be,
Just move on, you can deal without me.
  





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Points: 5107
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Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:57 am
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NaRachel says...



Great start so far :) i like the ryhtym of the words you've got going and i really like the second line so continue writing it and well done!
"You grow, you grow like tornado
You grow from the inside
Destroy everything through
Destroy from the inside
Erupt like volcano
You flow from the inside
You kill everything through
You kill from the inside"
  





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Points: 1363
Reviews: 16
Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:41 pm
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0xJazzy says...



Sounds great :) Simplistic but pretty effective xXx
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. Jasmyn xXx
  








I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
— Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest