Young Writers Society

Something stirs on this cold night…
The city sleeps but still we,
Still we fight and fight

Lose all sincerity
So you can see yourself
Reflections never lie...

Six feet deep, a lust for death
You dig yourself deeper
With naught but words of ignorance

Tonight hope dies

Passing graves of the unknown
We try to make our way back home
Illusions in sunlight fading
Keep me alive and waiting

Hope failing in the twilight
Grasping that nothing’s ever right

This is to the forgotten, the lost, and the dead
This is to the shattered souls, the ones they killed instead
Along the journey we all lost our faith
Coz the crossing over seems such a leap to take
Who am I amongst these tortured souls?

False hope weaves lines into flesh etched with misery... with misery
Losing who you are to that which was once loathed
Waking to find your love abandoned in the dead of night
And every breath is numbered… Every second counts

The sky is falling, that’s what they say.
The world is crumbling beneath our feet.

This is to the forgotten, the lost, and the dead
This is to the shattered souls, the ones they killed instead
Along the journey we all lost our faith
Coz the crossing over seems such a leap to take
Who am I amongst these tortured souls?

These wounds that were healing have just been torn apart
How do you know how to choose between your head and heart?
Do you even get a choice? Is it even yours to make?
Take a look around you, every smile’s fake

In this story, in this life, everyone lives alone
In a place cold and dark, far away from home

This is to the forgotten, the lost, and the dead
This is to the shattered souls, the ones they killed instead
Along the journey we all lost our faith
Coz the crossing over seems such a leap to take
Who am I amongst these tortured souls?

Somehow the taste of rain reminds me of you
Kissing in the downpour, flowing river of pain
And every footstep echoes silently…

Every soul cries out in agony
Filled with sorrow they lose the light
The lost ones become forgotten

This life isn’t what I thought, it isn’t what it seems
I’m just left gathering up my stupid broken dreams

This is to the forgotten, the lost, and the dead
This is to the shattered souls, the ones they killed instead
Along the journey we all lost our faith
Coz the crossing over seems such a leap to take
Who am I amongst lost souls?

He screams through the rain, everything he wants to hate
The chance he missed was yesterday, yesterday was way too late
Can’t afford another mistake, all his life, just fake fake fake
Left just trying to find a metaphor, to define the insanity inside
Fighting this subconscious war, no one in which to confide
The secrets he clings so closely
The madness you will never see
Forever wishing to be set right free
All the while he was destined to be
A lost soul just like me

Oh the normality of being different.
Oh the difference of being normal.
Will the world ever find a way to change?

Calloused hands grasp at rusted blades
We all cringed as the sunlight fades
And we are wrapped in black again
All alone, so far from them
The ones we love, the ones we’ll never see
All that’s left standing is you and me
So scream…

This is to the forgotten, the lost, and the dead
This is to the shattered souls, the ones they killed instead
Along the journey we all lost our faith
Coz the crossing over seems such a leap to take
Who am I amongst these tortured souls?
What significance have I?
Refusing to be silenced, to bear this burden of fear
Running from nothingness to no avail
That’s who I am, who I want to be
I will run, I won’t stop
Till I find the light

Cities painted with blood find ways to worsen,
The tainted soil on which we build our civilizations with no civility.
One man changes the path on which he runs
But one man alone cannot change the stars above
Corrupt as we are, we can change as race
Can but won’t, won’t but should

Oh the things that we’ve done
Oh sins we cannot take back
Will the world ever find a way to change?
Will we ever find a cure?

That was a bit exhausting and I really had to force myself to finish. There is a lot of unique wordplay here that unfortunately get's drowned out by the subject matter.

Now, you can correct me if my understanding of your song is wrong, but as I read this I thought that maybe it was about you being a ghost with you mentioning the "Six feet deep" but then as I read more it sounded like you were talking about vampires. Several portions of your song imply this such as

He screams through the rain, everything he wants to hate
The chance he missed was yesterday, yesterday was way too late
Can’t afford another mistake, all his life, just fake fake fake
Left just trying to find a metaphor, to define the insanity inside
Fighting this subconscious war, no one in which to confide
The secrets he clings so closely
The madness you will never see
Forever wishing to be set right free
All the while he was destined to be
A lost soul just like me
Oh the normality of being different.
Oh the difference of being normal.
Will the world ever find a way to change?
Calloused hands grasp at rusted blades
We all cringed as the sunlight fades
And we are wrapped in black again

Oh sins we cannot take back
Will the world ever find a way to change?
Will we ever find a cure?

Personally, I hope this isn't about vampires because I'm really sick of all the vampire crap like Twilight and Vampire Diaries. Yet this really does heavily imply a song about vampires
I know there is a portion that you keep repeating and then add something different each time at the end. So I believe I counted 4 choruses. Perhaps you should edit the format of this song so it's not double spaced and separate each chorus.

Like I said before, I like some of the unique wordplay you've displayed, but the length of this and the possible vampire implications really made me have the feeling like I was reading something a crazed "Twilight" or "Vampire Diaries" fan has written.

I could be wrong, and this piece may not be about vampires at all

hmm... yeah... no.... its not about vampires... I hate Twilight, etc... but you're right about it being too long. Thanks anyway.

I like the imagery used and I thought it was pretty darn good it was interesting to read and created a mood and alerted the senses. It was just a little too long but great work xXx