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Young Writers Society


What A Lovely Life



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29 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1040
Reviews: 29
Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:44 pm
dregymayfield says...



Little boy loves his little pig
Little pig doesn't really care for him
Little pig's always thinking big
He wants to rule the whole world

Little pig hides his little head
Little boy cries with his head in his hands
Sometimes he hugs his daddy's leg
Wanting him to change the world

Which one sounds more logical?
Which ideal is better than the other?

Little girl likes beautiful things
Sees beauty only for the popular
Wonders what the Almighty Lord'll bring
She wants true love in this world

Old man's life is coming to an end
Struggling day and night, it is quite painful
Wishing he had a single friend
He wants to remain here in this world

Does this sound myth-logical
Which ideal's more potent than the other

Such a time to stay
such a time to say
All these lives are for something
Much a time to stay
Much a time to say
All these strife's are for something

What a lovely life
what a lovely life
what a lovely life
what a lovely life
Last edited by dregymayfield on Wed Apr 20, 2011 2:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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378 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1276
Reviews: 378
Tue Apr 19, 2011 11:23 pm
Soulkana says...



I really loved this!!! I can see the emotion behind this. I can also see a vivid picture from your descriptions. I hope you write more soon so I may read more!!! I can't find any mistakes really in your grammar or spelling. Keep up the good work and I will review more from you when the time comes!! Good luck and may you receive many reviews and improve as you keep going!! Happy Writing!!!
Soulkana<3
May the gentle moon take you into peaceful dreams. May the mighty sun brighten your new days.
  





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51 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1869
Reviews: 51
Fri Apr 22, 2011 5:27 pm
NLPrincess13 says...



Very good, the style is very rich.......... the stories mixed to complete a great scene!!!
thumbs up, keep up your work :D:D:D:D
<3 Princess of Neverland <3
  








Poetry comes alive to me through recitation.
— Natalie Merchant