Young Writers Society

"...Thou canst not see my face:
for there shall no man see me, and live."

It must have been spectacular to have experienced it
Flawlessness before the face of one doomed to be flawed
John's words spoke out and delivered us another new pulpit
Then came Freedom of Religion with guns, knives, and rods

You cannot kill religion
Create it well
But you cannot kill religion
We're all in hell

I dwell in morbid confusion constantly hiding the need
to believe spoken words to be the absolute truth
In all this chaos would I have believed if I saw you bleed
For the new leaders in costumes create their own proof

We will not heal religion
this is our hell
We cannot heal religion
We've made it hell

I share in your need to be closer but run into dead ends
I've disregarded voiced truth because it feels incomplete
and something is lurking within those who say that they're our friends
and my ghost just wants to leave before saddness makes it deplete
and the longing ensues...

You can damage religion
Enforce it well
Yes, we can damage religion
Oh, we have damaged religion
and made it hell

We make it hell....

"But now mine own eyes have beheld God:
but not my natural, but my spiritual eyes,
for my natural eyes could not have beheld:
for I should have withered and died in his presense..."

I crown you as The Messenger (even though you're not perfect)
I crown you as The Messenger (even though sin did not leave you)
I crown you as my Messenger (though you've walked through dark routes)

I want you to be The Messenger
because I know the light evolved you as the light dissolves from me
I want you to be The Messenger
because no man would go through so much torture
It is beyond comprehension
It is beyond comprehension

You better not have lied....

I like the theme "...Thou canst not see my face:for there shall no man see me, and live." and the concept of how you can't get rid of religion and how it has been corrupted into "hell". I like the first few verses but I feel the words lack some rhythm, I think this may be due to the length of the lines, perhaps they're a little too long. Also, the last section after "We make it hell..." is a little preachy. However, you do have some very good lines, I liked these especially

Flawlessness before the face of one doomed to be flawed

For the new leaders in costumes create their own proof

Also what does the title mean J.1823? Keep up the good work! xXx