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Young Writers Society


Breaking Hearts



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75 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5950
Reviews: 75
Thu Mar 03, 2011 5:38 am
Maddy says...



Tell me nothing’s going to fall from beneath me,
For my world is unsteady as it is
I need you to convince me that I felt something real
Then maybe I’d rest with your kiss.
All I want is for the trouble to leave,
For it keeps insisting on coming,
And though I tell it’s not welcome,
Somehow it always stays...



And I’m the one, who’s tearing apart,
From the guilt I felt from the start,
Why must you fall so fast?
And now I’m feeling shamed,
I’m the one to be blamed,
For I’m known for breaking hearts.



I walk by and shut out your glance,
And pretend you’re not even there,
The tension stirs up past memories,
I know deep down I don’t care-
for you, I never, I was lying to myself
But you fell so fast, and it never did last…



And I’m the one, who’s tearing apart,
From the guilt I felt from the start,
Why must you fall so fast?
And now I’m feeling shamed,
I’m the one to be blamed,
For I’m known for breaking hearts.




And I’m the one, who’s falling apart,
For I know I'd rewritten our rules,
Why must I be the fool?
And now I must be shamed,
I deserve the blame,
‘Coz we all know I stole your heart.




They’re breaking, breaking, breaking.
I’m taking, taking, taking,
Their soul, their mind, their passion, their hope,
They’re breaking, breaking, breaking,
‘Coz I’m the one who’s taking,
Their love.
-If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you!
-"Careful with that light at the end of the tunnel, it might be another train coming."

This awesome post bought to you by me. :)
  





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50 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1708
Reviews: 50
Sat Mar 05, 2011 7:51 pm
armstronge says...



Great! Though I think you might want to move this in to the lyric sections. This seems more like a song than a poem. I think it's great, I don't see any mistakes. :D
“To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world”

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

“Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”
  





User avatar
75 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5950
Reviews: 75
Sun Mar 06, 2011 10:55 pm
Maddy says...



Oh, I was supposed to post this in the lyrics section! Whoops. XD
-If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you!
-"Careful with that light at the end of the tunnel, it might be another train coming."

This awesome post bought to you by me. :)
  





User avatar
12 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 1058
Reviews: 12
Sun Mar 13, 2011 7:04 am
crestfallen says...



It's already in the lyric section.
Anyway, I kind of liked this even though I could not relate to anything in it
  








The blood jet is poetry and there is no stopping it.
— Sylvia Plath