Young Writers Society

I.
Let's take a trip down memory lane
Do you remember the time we danced under the rain?
The air was cold but we never told anyone
And silently you and me waited for the sun

When I got sick, you were there and you stayed with me
You didn't mind all your homework in Chemistry
You made me laugh, you cheered me up, and I can't disagree
This love is true, I'm for you,and that you're for me

And when you held my hand
I loved the way that you said

[chorus]
I'll remember today
The way you laughed, you're beautiful, you don't even try
I can't promise today
That we could last, the two of us, till the end of time
But there's one thing that I want you to know
You are the reason why I can't let go
You mean more than what the world could see
And of all the rest, you're the best that's happened to me

II.
We're off to college just a few years later
And we both never thought that life would get harder?
Standing strong, still together, we both belong
And we don't care if we're never right all along


Oh, when we walked on the sand
You pulled me near and you said

[chorus]

[bridge]
The way you made me laugh
The way you said those words
The way you made things seem perfect
I'll never forget today

[chorus]
I'll always remember the way
You made me laugh, you're beautiful, you make me wanna cry
I don't need a promise today
I just need trust, for both of us, till the end of time
There's always one thing that I want you to know
No matter what, I'll never let you go
You mean more than what the world could see
And of all the rest, you're the best that's happened to me

You mean more than everything to me
And of all the best, I'm so glad you happened to me

Hi telle_04

This is quite good. It reminds me of Taylor Swift lyrics, especially the song "fearless" that has a reference of dancing in the rain. It is very whimsical and breezy and concerning love and the trials that come with it. Adding the reference to collage gives it a bit of detail. But as you probably already know, love songs are so incredibly common that it's hard to make them original (But I do understand this is a rough draft). This feels like a very straight forward love song, about a boy and a girl trying to stay together. The lyrics are very simple.
However I think you have a real skill with structuring a song. The verses and the chorus slip seamlessly into each other and are very melodic, like a good song should be.

In conclusion I think this song is very well structured, would most likely get stuck in my head and do well on pop radio. However it is quite simple so if you want to make the song more memorable I recommend adding more complexity and detail into it.

Wow....these are better than mine....xD Keep up the good work!