Young Writers Society

So here is a link to a video of me singing this song. Hope you like it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvhHfVjgqTg

You're standing on my doorstep, trying to say you're sorry
But the words they make you choke
You're picking up the pieces of the dreams you shattered
Sticking back together what you broke

And I'm trying my hardest to forgive you
But glue doesn't mend a broken heart
'Cause if you look closely you can still the cracks
And when it rains, it will all fall apart

You're losing credibility with every word that you speak
And every apology is more a lie
You're trying to be someone, I know you're not, and never will be
It doesn't matter how you try

And I'm trying my hardest to believe you
But rose-coloured glasses they don't work
'Cause if I look closely I can still see the truth
And when it rains, it's still going to hurt

You had your chance
But you blew it, you blew it
You had almost won the game
But you threw it, you threw it
I don't think you see how much it cost me
You had me but now you've lost me, you've lost me
And it's raining now
Yeah it's raining now

And you're trying your hardest to paint it over
Hoping you can hide the grey
But if I look closely I can still see right through
And when it rains, it will all wash away

LOVED this song. Jeez, wish this were on the radio instead of... say... Justin Beiber? I can almost hear the music, it's lovely stuff. Keep on truckin! It's got much more heart and soul than some, and more insightful than most


Baby, Baby, Baby oohhhhhh, Like baby baby baby NOooooo!

Very lovely words, Emalily. I pretty much agree with WaywardBird. And I also like the way you’ve structured it and your writing style.

Thanks Tim and waywardbird

Wow nice! LOVE IT. I love the rain.

Very pretty words! I agree, much better than Justine Beiber! Anyways, do you have music for these lyrics? It's such a beautiful song

Thankyou everyone
I do have music to go with the lyrics

Oo, that's awesome! Do you know what chords or anything? When I read these lyrics I imagined a really slow song

the chords are Am, F, C and G
I tried to upload myself singing it, but I couldn't figure out how to do it haha

First of all, I have read alot of lyrics on this site, but this is by far the best I have read (On this site). I absolutely loved it! I wish I could hear someone singing it. I bet it would sound awesome!

You're standing on my doorstep, trying to say you're sorry
But the words theyI think it would be better if you took out this word(But thats only my opinion)make you choke
You're picking up the pieces of the dreams you shattered
Sticking back together what you broke

Great job! Keep it up! By the way, I totally agree about the Justin Beiber thing.

Hey emalily!

Okay, so I have no idea how to review this so I'm sorry if what I say isn't very constructive

Really, I just wanted to say how beautiful this is. It's emotional and the theme is easy to relate to.

I also like the title and I love the way you repeat 'when it rains' throughtout the song.

My favourite part -

'Cause if I look closely I can still see the truth
And when it rains, it's still going to hurt

So, yeah. Sorry I haven't been at all helpful, but I don't often venture into the lyrics section and I'm glad I did. I couldn't read this and not comment so you'll just have to put up with my praise instead

xDudettex

thanks for the awesome reviews guys!
if you would like to take a listen, here's the link, I posted it on youtube :/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvhHfVjgqTg

Loved.. Loved.. Loved it. I was really good.