Young Writers Society

(Scream)
Burn the land in flames!!!!!(Streched)

(Whisper)
Dont you want burn till green goes grey?
Dont you want level anything big to small?
Dont you want to leave no soul to stay?
Dont you want to see the lost man to crawl?---------------------------(Scream) NO!!!!!!

It feels like the world never learns its mistakes
The government playes games and put our lives at stakes
I say Fuck the illumanti, fuck the elite!
They wonet take us down, begging at our feet!

So I aks you

(Whisper)
Dont you want burn till green goes grey?
Dont you want level anything big to small?
Dont you want to leave no soul to stay?
Dont you want to see the lost man to crawl?---------------------------(Scream) NO!!!!!!

Now answer

Did you think you served your country?
Or you beleived you surved them?
Did you burn the cities
thinking that you would fix the stem?
Do you relise
All the good went to bad?
This survival mission was like a fad!

Do you relise it?!--------(Scream) Burn the land in flames!!!!!(Streched)

The destruction of our nation
Will destroy the peace creation
Leading the world into a black society
Makeing it loose its last bit of purity
I say fuck the lies that flew out of their lips
The centre of the Earth slowly rips!

(Whisper)
Dont you want burn till green goes grey?
Dont you want level anything big to small?
Dont you want to leave no soul to stay?
Dont you want to see the lost man to crawl?---------------------------(Scream) NO!!!!!!

That was defenitly quite dramatic. They're lyrics right? It would be cool if you could put lyrics to it.
I didn't undertand what you meant by Don't you want to burn till green goes grey.
I did like how dramatic it was though...

green goes grey

Nature to ash

I see what you're trying to do, the problem is that it's been done a million times before which is why when you write a song like that you have to push for originality. You want to create some amazing imagery, you want to make your listeners think and not just recognise the fact that it's the same message that's been communicated in rock and punk for the past forty years. Hmm examples of bands that do it well:

Try metal lyrics like Pantera or Rage Against the Machine.
Democracy - Leonard Cohen: "It's coming to America first. The cradle of the best and of the worst. It's here we've got the range and the machinery for change and it's here we've got the spiritual thirst."

Another Brick in the Wall "Pink Floyd"

Good job. For those who like a twist in their song, everyone will like this piece. The words were great and I think I would give your overall song a 55 point lead over others. (Beside mine of course)