Young Writers Society

The Kill

It's the empty feeling inside
It's the things I don't confide
In you when we lie awake
You can't even tell my smiles fake

And the only difference is
I don't have anyone else
And the only thing to say
is

Kiss me underwater, kiss me under the moon
I can't care less, death couldn't come too soon
Take me under your wing, take me over the hill
I've given in, given myself to the kill

And tell me, why is it that we lie...
What are all the monstrous secrets we hide...
And do we even know the truth...
About who we are and what we do

Tell me you'll

Kiss me underwater, kiss me under the moon
I can't care less, death couldn't come to soon
Take me under your wing, take me over the hill
I've given in, given myself to the kill

And the only difference is
I don't have anyone else
And the only thing to say
is

Kiss me underwater, kiss me under the moon
I can't care less, death couldn't come to soon
Take me under your wing, take me over the hill
I've given in, given myself to the kill

The kill

The kill

The kill....

I love these lyrics I can imagine what it might sound like with music and voice well done!

I believe that you cant actually criticize a songs lyrics until u put it into a song. Personally i thought the lyrics were
very good nice job

btw do you sing ?
Yours Truly
- Stephene

Wow i thought this was really good. I wonder if you put it into song, would it be a slow jam or heavy? I donno, i think it could go ether way, it was really good. Great imagination in it to. lots of thought

These lyrics are really good! I've always wished I could write a song, but I just don't have the inspiration. You are very talented, though:)

My first lyric to critt in a long time. my general impression is that this was pretty good and really cool. Perhaps more cool then good
Reason why is beacuse I felt this energy in your lyrics that were expressed very well but i think it was still expressed too little. You used the chorus too much.
Other wise if you wouldnt use the chorus that much I think it would be truly awesome.
So for next time what you do is check are my lyics all the same?
Mite it get a bit boring for the reader?
But other wise it was great. It is also very hard to judge lyrics withought the music.

hey undeadbunnie. mind if i sneak around?

first stanza is good, except for this one:

It's the empty feeling inside
It's the things I don't confide
In you when we lie awake
You can't even tell my smiles are fake

i don't know. it just got my attention. but maybe i'm wrong about that. anyway.

And the only difference is
I don't have anyone else
And the only thing to say
is

maybe it's better if you include the word "is" with the last line. but still, it's your preference.

over all, it's a nice song. you have nice expressive lyrics. just watch out for grammar, because a lot of songs are also being noticed because of simple mistakes. however, that's not a big deal.

keep writing and stay motivated.

-telle. <3

These lyrics are awesome!
Definately my type of music.
I can imagine singing along to this
Well done ! xxx