Young Writers Society

(both) I'm sorry that I made sure you will never see me for me

(john) I knew you wouldn't understand

(Megan) you would never get me

(john) I'm sorry I lied but why can't you see me for me ?

(Megan) whoa whoaa. Why can't you see me for who I am?

(John)Why must I change who I am inside?

(both)I love you,but you will never see me

(megan) I see

(John) I see (faster)

(megan) who you are

(John) who you are (faster)

(megan) deep inside

(John) deep inside (faster)

(both) I can see who you are

( both)We could be perfectly in love

(megan) If you could just see me for me

(john)if you could see who I am inside

(both) we could be perfectly in love

(Megan) You told me every thing

(John) you told me the truth

(Both)But all I told you where lies lies lies

(Both) all I told you where

(John) Lies!

(Megan) Lies !

(Both) All I told you where lies ( quitely)

Are you into musical theatre? If you are I can tell and if you aren't you should be! This seems like the ending of a song...so, where's the beginning. You can definitely amp it up a little more. Perhaps add a few verses to build up to the climax at the end?

I agree with sealegs

I agree with sealegs and crescent. This seems to be an awesome ending for a dramatic song. Maybe for the beginning you can write how each character is feeling, you know put a little background in. Tell about how they lied to each other and how each character felt, perhaps why, what was their purpose etc. Could be a great theater piece!

Thanks and I did write this for a play that I am writing I would post it but there is not place.

wow! this would definitely be a wonderful duet. (sighs) i can imagine it already. great job, i really loved it. now the next thing ofcoure, write up a few verses, add a bridge and its perfect. i suggest you write the lyrics duet telling a story, maybe starting with how they met, followed by the troubles, maybe the bridge could tell what they're going to do, those sort of stuff etc. anyway best of luck and again i think it would be a wonderful duet !!!

-buddy

You could probably post the play in the scripts section!

Wow. I agree with who ever it was that said you should go into musical theater. If you could put a bunch of songs together and write a plot. Then bam: you'd have a pretty decent musical.
I was wondering though, did you go through an experience like this or know somebody who did? I find it's easier to write songs about events that I know aobut and I was just wondering whether you felt the same way.

Hello there!

This lyrics's kind of sweet. It's like it was Gabriella and Troy in HSM singing this.lol
Anyways, I like this. It's a good one for a duet but it would be better if it was longer. (just a suggestion, btw. )

Keep up the good work!

peace out!

'Allo there! :3 Overall, I agree with sealegs. This seems more like an ending to a song than the song itself. To elaborate a little more on that, you're using simple lines and a lot of repetition, which is acceptable - if it's slower and nearing the end. Otherwise, it can seem redundant and dragged out.

Try adding a beginning/middle to this. The beginning a build up, the middle more elaborate and detailed regarding their feelings for each other, perhaps going back and forth a few times on things they did to deceive the other without their knowledge, things they did to get the others attention, et cetera. Then start using the simple lines and repetition. That way it will transition from each person's feelings expressed in different ways to them, overall, feeling the same exact way. I hope this makes sense and I'm not just rambling.

Hope I helped!
>>Annie<<

HERE YOU GO

This is overly stupid and pathetic

I found my old song ive been looking for!

I liked the lyrics, but some more lines would have taken the song to some other level... Anyway, I liked reading this...