Young Writers Society

The broken hearted
and the setting sun,
They all relate,
and become as one.

Life was perfect
it was just for you and me.
Waiting for nothing
holding hands... easy.

I was suffocating in myself,
I needed to break free.
You didn't let me so found,
My own way out, so critically.

You didn't let me be.
You wouldn't count on me.
You gave me no other choice,
To find myself, and be free.

CHORUS

I broke your heart.
I'm sorry but I can't go back.
I'm not a follower.
I'm not part of your herd.

Do you wanna lose this free bird?
I'm just gonna fly away.
Fly back to my keeper, But
I'll fly away from him someday.

END CHORUS

You remembered all my special days.
My birthday, our anniversary.
Those were the days
But I kept up with my mistakes.

One day you left on your trip,
And so i took a day to play,
I messed up, oh baby please,
Life's what you make it, ok?

I remember the shock on your face.
I could see the pain.
it was so clear, it was so raw.
But i told you it was coming soon.

My life tore down, up from the core.
When i saw you cry my love....
but i swore to change my ways for you
and now, I'll never love again.

CHORUS

We belong together.
the fates did so reply for me.
we'll work it out
on the sunset pavilion.

Just as we met.
we'll come through.
till we repeat everything, my love
Again and again, this disseminating loop.

I was all alone.
rocking the baby,
She was your love.
Your last call.

I couldn't tell her
You were gone,
daddy never wanted her
and now he's lost.

CHORUS

can i just ask about your work?
do you write from experience or just think of songs to write?

i write about people i know and my feelings. thats all there is to it.

the broken hearted
and the setting sun
all relate
and become as one

life was perfect
it was just you and me
waiting for nothing
holding hands

Dying to get out of a rut
I found some one else
it was fine
but then my troubles grew

you because suspicious
but you loved me still
i was cheating
but you didn't know for sure

CHORUS:
I don't deserve you
I wasted your heart away
I'm gonna cheat again
If you don't watch your back

Do you wanna lose this free bird?
I'm just gonna fly away
Fly back to my keeper
But I'll fly away from him someday!
END CHORUS

You remembered all my special days
My birthday, our anniversary
those were the days
but you know i could never remember yours!

One day you left on your trip
so i took a day to play
and i messed up so bad
I was pregnant with another man!

I remember the shock on your face
I could see the pain
it was so clear
But i told you it was coming

My life tore down
when i saw you cry
but i swore to change my ways
and i'll never love again

CHORUS

We belong together
the fates did so reply
we'll work it out
on the sunset bulivard

Just as we met
we'll come through
till we repeat everything
again and again

I was all along
rocking the baby
all by myself
but then she called for daddy!

I couldn't tell her
daddy's gone
daddy never wanted her
and now he's lost

CHORUS

all because of what i had to do
now we'll never love again

First thing punuaction!!

Now that's out of way.

First verse sure you can think of better word than one or sun. Second thing capitals in all lines this counts for rest of song too.Also you start by rhyming no one screamed stop rhyming keep pattern and flow consistent. Ending part of first verse the first line makes no sense "you because suspicious". Looking at this hurts my head so many things wrong with it, but i'm so tired nothing is consistent in this.