Young Writers Society

INVISIBLE.

VERSE 1
Conceal all that’s real.
Sacrifice your happiness.
Product of a not so perfect world.
Blend in a crowded room.
Befriend by pretend.

FIT IN BUT YOU’LL NEVER BE A PART.
TALK BUT NEVER BE HEARD.
EXPLAIN BUT NO-ONE CAN UNDERSTAND.
JUST MAYBE SEEN BUT FOREVER INVISIBLE.

Verse 2
Their words seen sacred.
Every action idolised.
Bent over backwards but no-one can realise,
what you’ve sacrificed.
All that you’ve lost don’t reach their hearths.
Than why try to,


FIT IN BUT YOU’LL NEVER BE A PART.
TALK BUT NEVER BE HEARD.
EXPLAIN BUT NO-ONE CAN UNDERSTAND.
JUST MAYBE SEEN BUT FOREVER INVISIBLE.

WIL MY THOUGHTS EVER DARE TO FIND VOICE.
OR WILL I GET LOST IN AN IMAGE.
IT’S JUST A DREAM NOTHING BUT A WISH TO BE.
WHAT ARE THE ODDS FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME?

um, i love the song, saw the resemblance


very neat insight, Broken-image


also, very true.

Overall, it's pretty good, but DON'T TYPE IN ALL CAPS. IT'S REALLY ANNOYING AND HARDER TO READ. I'M ONLY TYPING LIKE THIS TO PROVE A POINT. The words should stand out on their own.

Also in the second verse, I'm not sure "hearth" is the best word. Did you mean "hearts"? Also I think "don't" should be doesn't and "seen" (in the first line) should be "seem".

The last line of the first verse "Befriend by pretend" doesn't make sense as-is. Either "Brefriending pretend" or "Befriended by pretend" would make more sense. You might also want to replace "pretend" with an appropriate synonym.

Despite these nitpicks, I still liked it. Good job!