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Young Writers Society


Chocolate Rapper



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Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 1160
Thu Sep 21, 2006 1:12 am
Elizabeth says...



Chocolate Rapper

Yo, aight, ya’ll hear what I’m sayin’?
HERSHE-E-E-EYS I-S-S-S D-AAAA BOMB!

Ok, so git it straight
You goin’ on a date?
I don’t mean, floosies, clubbin’
beers, an’ rubbin’, straight out, man,
Date with a girl you like, com’mon fellas:
Brothas, them sistas don’t want no poser,
Don’t wanna drive a friggin’ lexus, or a dozen roses
One thing is all they want, one thing and that is:

CHOCOLATE (Chocolate)
LEMME HEA’ YA SAY IT. I SAY
CHOCOLATE (Chocolate)
CHOCOLATE (Chocolate)
Cha-cha-cha-cha- Chocolate

You might be covering in bling
Diamond gold rings
She ain’t care
She too busy eatin’ to hear
And if you don’t treat her, man fix your ears
Girls ain’t want no bling or clothes
Which make them look like friggin’ hos: they want

CHOCOLATE (Chocolate)
LEMME HEA’ YA SAY IT. I SAY
CHOCOLATE (Chocolate)
CHOCOLATE (Chocolate)
Cha-cha-cha-cha- Chocolate

AHH SUGAR RUSH!

CHOCOLATE (Chocolate)
LEMME HEA’ YA SAY IT. I SAY
CHOCOLATE (Chocolate)
CHOCOLATE (Chocolate)
Cha-cha-cha-cha- Chocolate


I just thought it up, I don't care...
First damn thing in a month, enjoy, it's not here to be serious, though I am.
Now laugh. Or die!
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 109
Tue Sep 26, 2006 12:44 am
Teeeeo. says...



xD

WTF?!?!
  





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76 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 76
Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:01 am
deleted says...



I kindaza like. kindaza not.

I see what your trying to do, trying to accomplish, and its pretty cool.

needs a bit of work. Add another verse, talk about how chocolate acts as an aphrodisiac. I mean, ok she dont want bling, but why?

First verse is good, that takes care of the not wantin anything but choco.

"one thing and that is" at the end of first verse, TAKE IT OUT. not needed. dont introduce the chorus, punch em in the face with it.

End of second verse is perfect to carry over into a third verse RE:aphrodisiac.

polish it up and you got something! VERY ORIGINAL.
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 2
Sun Oct 15, 2006 5:06 am
Lufgif says...



I laughed. I like it.

They don't want bling cuz it makes them look like friggin' hos.
I'm angered that we can't use images.
  





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90 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 90
Sat Nov 25, 2006 8:48 pm
RoxanneR says...



Funny! But a bit wierd at the same time. How did you end up thinking of this?

RR*
Want a faithful critique? PM me!

Luv RR*
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 109
Sat Nov 25, 2006 10:02 pm
Teeeeo. says...



XD
I just thought that you should make a vid and put it on YouTube of you rapping this XD
  





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29 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 29
Sat Nov 25, 2006 10:15 pm
Luxor says...



Man, this was sweet (haha, bad pun)! I especially liked the "AHH SUGAR RUSH" part.
If there's ever a meat shortage, eat this profile; it's full of balogna.
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 1160
Sun Nov 26, 2006 5:52 am
Elizabeth says...



You say THAT part like the
STOP
HAMMERTIME!!!!!!!!
GO GO GO GO GO GO *repeat 2390848 times*

Love your avvie lol... JD *growls*
  





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70 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 70
Sun Nov 26, 2006 7:14 am
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Pushca says...



haha
"Nothing I could write would be as shocking and offensive as censorship itself." -Deb Caletti
  





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29 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 29
Sun Nov 26, 2006 1:18 pm
Luxor says...



Thanks! Although, to be perfectly honest, I couldn't care less about Johney Depp...I just like Willy Wonka.
If there's ever a meat shortage, eat this profile; it's full of balogna.
  





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117 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 117
Sat Dec 02, 2006 3:57 pm
TheEccentricScribe says...



It was certainly interesting, lol. Pretty good parody of typical rap, if that's what you intended. And I love chocolate myself, so, you ladies better be willing to share!

Funny work. Take care. =)
  








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