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Young Writers Society


Photographic Memory



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665 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6165
Reviews: 665
Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:14 pm
Chevy says...



I would post the chords but I don't feel like it. Just know that it's in the key of C.
Intro
Ah Ah, Ah Ah, Ah Ah, Ah Ah

Verse One
dance the night away with your writings on your hand
you wish to be closer to what your mind commands
the rain pours down when the clouds open their net
and you feel so dry when you're soaking wet

Chorus
letting go while the others are chancing
sitting down while the rest are dancing
that's you with your excuse for art
making photographic memories with your photgraphic heart.

Verse Two
write the night away until your fingers are tense
the words spill on the page but they make no sense
lying awake all night is now a crime
and you're the last one sleep but the last one alive

Bridge
go old school everything
before there was a lens
take time for original
somewhere deep within
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.
  





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145 Reviews



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Points: 890
Reviews: 145
Thu Jan 12, 2006 3:40 am
Skye says...



Disclaimer: I know nothing about the technical aspects of playing and/or singing music, but I'm a music fan and I know what I like when I hear it.

Very pretty. It flowed well, and I could almost hear the song playing in my head. I love the last lines to each stanza - you know how to end each with a great image!

Oh, and in the last line of Verse 2, I think you left out the "a" in asleep, but that's just a technicality.

The last stanza ... the last stanza I'm not too crazy about. As a poem, the last line of Verse 2 would make a great ending, but this isn't a poem is it? (Rhetorical question, I know it's a song.) "Bridge" isn't part of that stanza is it? I'm sorry, I thought it was at first (I'm a little slow on the uptake sometimes :roll:) Okay, now the last stanza makes more sense. ;)

Overall, I liked it a lot. Nice choice of words, rhythmn, imagery, the whole shabang! Great job.
"A poet in love is best encouraged in both capacities or neither." ~ Jane Austen, Emma.
  





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38 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 38
Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:06 pm
marching_gurl89 says...



I absolutly love the way you used figurative language to portray everything. It also has very good rhythm and I can hear the song being song in my head. I think that the bridge does not fit well with the rest of the song. Except for the Bridge I loved the whole song.
~*~Peace, Love, and Protesters~*~
I'm not off beat!I'm marching to the beat of my own drum
I rock my socks
Hippielicious the bold new flavor from caroline
JFK BLOWN AWAY WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY!!!!!!!
  








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