Young Writers Society

V1.
Don't you ever let your hopes fly down
Like a bird with only one wing
Don't let your dreams ever die out
like a candle in the dark...

CHORUS:
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me?
Telling you these words of comfort
Whispering to you...
My sweetheart...
My sweetheart...
You can do it again...

V2.
Did you ever know that you can fly
Without these wings of so called "gold"?
Did you know that I will guide you
Through all of your trials to eternity?

BRIDGE THINGY:
Can you please not cry when you fall?
Stand tall for us

CHORUS:
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me?
Hugging you near me, very close,
Whispering to you...
My sweetheart...
My sweetheart...
You can do it again...

ENDING:
My sweetheart...
My sweetheart...
My sweet...
Heart...


any help would be appreciated

Wow we liked it.. You could have given them titles like '[chorus]', '[bridge]' and so on..but it's your choice of course.
Quite a nice structure.

We didn't feel comfortable with the word "sweetheart". >sounds a bit weird according to what I understood. Never give up?
<'Take Chances'... what do you think of that title/name?

Well, it's a nice made-up song!

Age 5? I sense a disturbance...

of course that age is wrong.. We're not 5 and we are forbidden to show or tell our age.
We are sorry we disturbed your thoughts.. crazy fantasies like mine! lol j/k, mademoiselle

Is there a chorus part? If not, I want to say that it is kinda repetitive.

HAPPY NOW/?!?!?! i edidited due to annoying demand.

That good Liz, and not as bad as everyone think, well done.
What about calling it My Sweetheart.