Young Writers Society

Verse 1

Well somebody told me,
that home is where the heart is,
and I hope that it's true.
Cuz home is where the heart is,
and my heart will stay with you,
I know that's true.

Chorus

Well I, may be far away,
but I, know my way back home,
just down the road.
And I, may be missing you,
but I'll survive,
as long as you're not missing me too.

Verse 2

And time is a factor,
that we're not counting on.
Cuz we, could have all the time in the world,
if we'd learn to take it.

(Chorus)

Bridge

And if one day you realize,
that I'm not there,
I'm down the road,
across the street.
And if one day you realize,
that I'm all you need,
I'll be there,
wait up for me.

Verse 3
And I, may be far away,
but I, know my way back home,
just down the road.
Cuz home is where the heart is,
and my heart will stay with you,
I swear it's true.

hmm...sorry, but this really is quite bland (not that my stuff is any better), it\'s just too cliche and not original. Also you didn\'t need commas in the chorus when you wrote \"and I\" and \"but I\". You use a comma to indicate a division in a sentence, as in setting off a word, phrase, or clause, especially when such a division is accompanied by a slight pause or is to be noted in order to give order to the sequential elements of the sentence.

Hey there.

First thing I noticed was the space between each line. It's a bit distracting, so if you could edit them out, it would make it easier to read your lyrics. To get rid of the spaces, hit the Edit button in the upper right corner of your post. From there, you can either manually get rid of all the spaces or scroll down to the Special Formatting options near the bottom of the page. Selecting None usually works.

The next thing I noticed was how repetitious the song was. While repetition is good to have in a song, there needs to be some space between each iteration. Taking the first verse for example:

Well somebody told me,
that home is where the heart is,
and I hope that it's true.
Cuz [b]home is where the heart is[b],
and my heart will stay with you,
I know that's true.

The bolded lines are identical, while the italicized are so similar they feel identical. Having them so close to each other creates a sense of repetition overload.

Spacing your iterations out so that they aren't as obvious would really help your lyrics. Once per verse, or even every other verse would be a good idea, or you can move all the lines you want to repeat into the chorus.